It was real, absolutely real, but none of my friends believed
me. All I could do was tell them what had happened to me, and that was what I
did. I told them all, the long, the short, and the tall. I told as many of them
as I could. They thought I had gone mad after taking LSD.
Jesus Christ had spoken to me, and rescued me from a
bad LSD trip, on Friday evening of the 16th of January 1970. He had said that
what I had been going through was nothing
compared to what hell was like. I now knew the way and was determined to
tell others. I had become a Christian and no longer needed to live the life
style I had adopted, which had involved crime, drugs, promiscuity, flash cars
and fame. I had been born again. I was now responsible for sorting out all my
stolen gear.
What could be done with a 48-ft by 24 ft. builderÕs
shed that I had stolen one night, from a building site, at Berkhampstead and
stolen cars? I still had, in my possession a lovely ÒGÓ reg. mini that I had stolen
from Hemel Hempstead, which was in the process of being ÒrungÓ. Ringing meant
swapping the number plates from a stolen car with those of a legitimate,
damaged or older car and using its registration documents as proof of its
identity. My new mini was being rung and replacing my old car. This was to be
my new car. I also had a Morris Minor Traveller that had been ÒrungÓ and was
being used as a hire car.
I also had stolen garage equipment, which included an
air compressor, electric welding equipment, spray guns, and a trolley
jack. I also had several pieces of
electrical test equipment, which included oscilloscopes, AVO meters and Colour
TVÕs. I had stolen all the garage equipment I needed to repair and spray cars.
One of my prize cars was a lovely Citroen DS, which
was stored in the builderÕs shed and was being repaired. I obtained this car through swapping it
for a colour TV set, which in 1969 was very valuable. The only problem was that
I had stolen the TV set from an old peopleÕs home in Winslow, Buckinghamshire.
This was not all of my stolen goods, as I also had
two nice speedboat engines, getting ready for the summer, of 1970. All in all I
had had a real good time full of excitement and fun and was looking forward to
a future, full of excitement.
The reality was, I had been stopped in the midst of
my career, which involved stealing all kinds of goods, and having a good time
all at other peopleÕs expense. I had intended to have a caravan, speedboat,
water skis, and aqua-lung diving gear, flash cars, motorbikes, and clothes and
so on all through stealing. I was in fact stopped whilst in the midst of my
career but not by the police. It was Jesus Christ who had called me by name, to
follow him.
My brother Michael and I, had both been convicted for
crimes of malicious wounding, and possessing a fire arm without a license in
the past, and at this point our life paths were about to take different roots.
For one year I toyed with various ideas, as to what to do
with all the stolen goods that I had acquired, and was at a loss how to resolve
the problem. I thank God that He appeared again to my help a year later, when
His hand was clearly seen once more to intervened in my life. I had no one else to help. As I write
this I take encouragement from the faithfulness of God in never leaving me, or
forsaking me. I realise now I was
kept through the power, and grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, to bare witness
today to many people of His goodness, and mercy to me.
Problem solve by
a visit from the C.I.D.
I was sitting at the table, in our kitchen
at 37 Finmere Crescent, one evening in late 1971, when a knock came on the
door. I had two visitors, a detective constable Robson and a younger man and was
greeted quite politely but with sure and certain words Ò You are charged with stealing a colour television Ò and Òwould
you accompany us down to the police station, to make a statementÓ. I knew
instantly what I must do and say. I saw the hand of God and believed is was all
his doing but I did not know the outcome. Leaving the outcome to God I asked
the two men to sit down in the kitchen, and I admitted the charge. At this DC
Robson seemed most relieved, for he said to me later, he had thought I would be
very difficult and awkward and deny the charge.
I
explained I would certainly come with them to the police station, and make a
statement, but I wanted to speak to them about other things first. I said that I
had many crimes that I wished to tell them about, and wanted to tell them why I
was informing them.
I wished
it to be known that they would not have been able to find out about my crimes
unless I confessed them, and I wanted to testify to the saving work of Jesus
Christ - that he had saved me from my former criminal way of life, a year
previously, and that I did not wish to get off lightly with this confession,
but rather bear testimony for Christ. For in no way could my crimes be
discovered, unless I tell them, and owned up to them. I had a lot of property,
which could be returned.
I went
with them to the police station, and spent the rest of the evening making
written statements giving details of my crimes. I was detained that evening in
the police cells, at Walton Street police station, in Aylesbury. Not that I was
a stranger to prison cells. My shoelaces were removed but I was allowed my New
Testament (Authorised Version, working mans pocket addition).
I had to
appear in Aylesbury Magistrates Court, on the 9th February 1971, and answered
two charges of burglary and one of theft. I also asked for 21 other crimes of
theft to be taken into consideration, all of which had been committed since I
left Borstal, between September 1968, and 16th January 1970. I had
decided I did not need legal representation, as I would speak for my self.
With my
past record of probation and Borstal training it was quite expected that I
would be sent to prison. I was quite OK with this because I deserved it and I
believed God was in this, and had a definite purpose in this event. I prepared
for this by setting my affairs in order at home and gave directions that my
Mini Traveller, which I had rebuilt, was to be given to Barry Crown, if I got
sent down. I believed that whatever happened to me the outcome was of God, and
there would be good reason for it. I thought I might be being sent to prison so
as to preach the gospel to many inmates.
A friend
of mine, Mr Peter Murray, from Wendover was concerned about my court appearance,
and suggested I get some written testimonials from some of my Christian friends,
and he felt he ought to appear in person, and speak on my behalf. The friends
who wrote were Barry Crown, Cyril Bryan, Tom Thompson and Eric Connet. I am
including these letters, which were sent to the court. These people all testify
to the saving grace of God in changing my life. The following are three
separate letters written to the court.
To the Clerk of the Magistrates Court
Dear Sir,
I am a graduate of Salford University, and hold a
B.Sc. in Civil Engineering. I am at present an employee of Aylesbury Borough
Council, working under Mr Hanney, the Borough Engineer, and Surveyor. I have
held this post since September 1970.
Shortly after taking up residence in Aylesbury I befriended
Mr David Clarke whom I met at the Full Gospel Church, RichfordÕs Hill. I found
David to be a true and sincere Christian seeking to spread the Gospel of Jesus
Christ, and to give personal testimony of the salvation through Jesus Christ,
which he himself had experienced.
David told me how he had been miraculously converted,
on January 16th 1970, and before his conversion he confessed to a life of drugs
and theft, but now he no longer had any desire or pleasure in such things,
since Christ destroyed the power of sin in his life.
For the six months I have known David I have been a
witness to the truth of his testimony and I know him as a person who is a
completely honest and trustworthy follower of the Christian faith.
Yours Sincerely,
R. B. Crown 45
Mitcham Walk, Aylesbury 6th
February, 1971
To the Clerk to
the Magistrates
Dear Sir,
I am privileged to write a testimony to you
concerning David Clarke, and I count it a privilege because it is to the glory
of God.
I have known this young man through conversations and
meeting with him, through the church I attend in Aylesbury. The Full Gospel
Testimony Church at RichfordÕs Hill.
What I wish to bring to your notice is the wonderful
change that has taken place in him as a result of him believing the gospel and
receiving the Lord Jesus Christ as his personal saviour, according to the
scriptural instruction and ordinances.
The change of character and speech is miraculous, as
are all the works of God, and as a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ for 30
years; I know that David Clarke is a transformed person, by the grace of God.
As are we all who know the reality of the new birth as taught in Johns Gospel.
You will know his past life, I testify to his new
life in Christ Jesus.
Yours Sincerely,
C Bryan 2nd
February 1971
Testimony of Mr E Connet 3
To whom it may concern
This is to certify that I have known Mr Clarke for period
of approximately 9 months since his conversion to Christianity. I am fully
persuaded that he had turned his back on his past life and changed for the
better.
He is now earnestly endeavouring to make amends for
his past mistakes and even influence others to turn their lives over to God, as
he has done.
My object in writing this testimonial is that it may
help to throw some light on DavidÕs character from one who knows him as a
Christian.
Yours Faithfully,
E Connet 2nd
February 1971
I appeared in court on the 9th February 1971, dressed
in my dark blue (Mod) suit, and pleaded guilty. A report from the police was
read and I was given leave to speak for myself. Speaking extemporary, trusting the
Lord for all the help I needed, I described my pre conversion days, to the time
of my conversion. I then also spoke about my life since being a Christian,
explaining my difficulties with respect to the stolen goods that I had.
The News Head Lines
The Bucks Herald Thursday February 11, 1971.
David Clarke, who had a three-year career of
undetected crime, experienced a "Christian conversion" whilst
suffering from the effects of LSD, he told Aylesbury magistrates, on Tuesday. After
wrestling with his conscience for a year, he confessed to 24 crimes, and gave
information leading to the recovery of over £1000 worth of stolen property. In
court he pleaded guilty to charges of steeling a £300 colour television set
from an old peoples home, a £20 spray gun, and a hydraulic jack. He asked for
21 other charges to be taken into consideration, including stealing a builders
shed, two cars, and an electric arc welder, two other TV sets, two compressors,
and a road trailer. Clarke (21)
of Finmere Crescent said his reputation in the town had been that of a man
who was enjoying himself. "I used to sell drugs to young people, and
indulge in permissive sex" he declared.
Seeking Truth.
"Religion to me was rubbish, and for sissy
people who could not stand on their own feet", he said. "Within my
heart I was searching for truth, and a meaning to life". He had good
prospects of getting on in life he went on but Òwas not satisfied with what I
had, I was greedy, selfish and boastful.Ó Clarke had been using pep pills, and
marijuana since he was 16, he told the court, but it was after taking LSD that
he experienced, what he described as "a major thing in my life". He described
the "torment" he suffered, as a result of taking the drug, and went
on "I warn any young person who hears my testimony, "The effects of
LSD are so bad, and I warn you to stay clear".
While in this condition he said he "Called on
the name of Jesus" and his torment went from him.
"Jesus Christ spoke to me as clearly as I
speak here today saying, " David I am with you". Mr Murray, of Manor
Crescent, Wendover said he was habitually sceptical of sudden conversions, and
preferred to put them to the question of time. The time, which had elapsed,
since Clarke's profession of faith had convinced him that this young man would
now be salt and light to society". "He is in truth, a new man, and
had experienced what Christ called a second birth". Murray said
Clarke now put himself out to be of assistance, read the bible intensely,
always carried a New Testament, attended a wide circle of churches and would
spend hours in discussion on spiritual things.
Clarke's difficulty during the months spent deciding
how to make amends for his past had been the problem of accusing himself,
without informing on others.
Passing sentence the chairman of the magistrates,
Colonel I. Tetley, told Clarke, "You have pleaded guilty to three offenses
and asked us to take into consideration 21 others, and except a record over a
short period of time, which is quite the worst we have ever seen, we have
considered what we aught to do and have come to the conclusion that your evident
desire to become a martyr is one we are not going to gratify". He
gave Clarke a conditional discharge for three years pointing out that the
sincerity of his conversion could be shown by his behaviour during that period.
The whole court appearance was reported in the local
newspapers, and in the national Evening Standard. The news headline of the Bucks Herald read Ò Why he confessed to
24 crimesÓ and Ò Converted on LSD tripÓ. Whilst the
Bucks Advertiser read Ò Man speaks of
horrors on LSDÓ.
The outcome of the court case was a complete surprise
to us all and so being overjoyed, a Christian friend, Mrs Chapski of Broughton
Avenue, Aylesbury, invited us all back to her home for coffee. This happened on
Tuesday 9th February 1971, a date that proved significant to me 3
years later. I was amazed. The magistrates thought I was trying to be a martyr.
I do not know how or why. They obviously thought I should be sent to prison but
part of my punishment would be I was not going to get what I wanted. God
smiled. We smiled with him.
DC Robson informed me that they had discovered that I
was the person who had stolen the TV from Mike West. Mike West was the man that
I had swapped the stolen set for his Citroen car.
The police had been tipped off by one of his enemies,
and as a result Mike West appeared in Court, on the same day as myself, for
handling stolen goods. He was fined £25, and nearly lost his job with the
insurance company that he worked for. His encounter at court also appeared on
the front page of the newspaper, alongside the article about my conversion. After
this I gave Mike West his Citroen car back, which I had swapped for the colour
TV. I had re sprayed it a bright banana yellow, and replaced the engine. At
lease he was able to sell it and get some money back. I now know and take
encouragement that God work well and sorts things out when we cannot do so.
As far as the other stolen goods were concerned the
police managed to take away most of them but the firm who owned the builders
shed sent a trailer. The ironic thing is that I could get no help to load the
shed on the trailer. In the end Mrs Knight was the only one to help. This was
very hard work but between us we managed to load it on the trailer late one
night.
Here is some information to give you some idea of the
value of the stolen items: The shed was said to be worth £400. The mini was
brand new and worth £672. The price of a terraced house at that time was £2000.
In order to tell my story I need to start from the
beginning. I speak about both my brotherÕs life and mine until the time of my conversion
when the Lord Jesus spoke to me. I intend to point out the alternate life path
of my brother, which led him to serve 16-year prison sentence in the
Philippines, for a crime he did not commit. He died in that prison from
tuberculosis, in May 2005. I then
wish to speak about being a Christian to the time of my turning away from God
in unbelief whilst Michael was living in Thailand getting him self in trouble. His story was told in the News of the
World in 1992. I relate also the
time that I was clinically diagnosed as suffering from manic depression and
realised too that Michael had the same symptoms. In this edition I highlight
the highs and lows of the various manic episodes in my life. I then speak of my
return to faith in God, my re marriage and attempt to return to the ideals of a
Christian marriage, along with the harrowing events of a broken second marriage.
I describe the ups and the downs of Christian life and I hope this will be
helpful and interesting to the reader.
I
was born on the 16th February 1949 at 9.50 AM, in Boundary Park General
hospital, Oldham, Lancashire, next to Oldham Athletic football ground. My
motherÕs name was Elsie Dyson Clarke who was married to my father Thomas George
Clarke some time after the war. She informed me that this hospital was next to
Oldham Athletic football ground.
Boundary Park Hospital (Where
David was born)
Thomas George Clarke
(Dad) Elsie
Dyson Clarke (Mum)
We lived with my motherÕs father in his house at 26
Fleet Street, Clarksfield, and Oldham. My granddadÕs name was Watts Ormrod and
he was a retired craftsman and senior member of a Trades Union. His hair was
white which I am told happened due to an accident at work, a large rivet was
pushed through his hand. I had a brother, who was two and a half years older
than I, Michael John (spelt Michael instead of Michael due to my motherÕs
stubbornness when he was named at the registrarÕs office. The official informed
her that the way she had spelt Michael was in fact wrong and my mum reacted at
being corrected and insisted it would be spelt just as she had written it).
My mum and dad were both in the armed forces and were
very proud to be British. Dad was in the Army and mum was in the Royal Air
Force. I was christened at ChristÕs Church, Glodwick and my Godfather David
Maltby of 382 Barton Road; Stretford was a sideman at the Church on Barton
Road, Stretford. He gave me at that time a bible with a text of scripture
written on the inside cover. Prov. 3. 6 ÒIn all thy ways acknowledge him and he
shall direct thy paths Ò.
I have found a baptism certificate dated 3rd April
1949 where it states I became a member of Christ, the child of God, and an
inheritor of the ÒKingdom of HeavenÓ. This however is wrong, as I did not
become a member of Christ until I was born again on the 16th January 1970,
which I speak about later.
David's Baptismal Certificate
3rd April 1949
I can remember attending the church and Sunday school
at Christchurch, which was just along the road from our house in Fleet Street.
On one occasion I was so cosy, sitting on the pew, I fell asleep and woke up
with a jolt wondering where I was, just as the vicar had finished his sermon. I
had been lulled into sleep by the stimulating sermon. I havenÕt changed even to
day. I must have been about 3 or 4 years old. It was my motherÕs idea to take
my brother and I to Sunday school.
St. Barnabas Sunday School
Building
At Sunday school I can remember we painted pictures
of houses and I still remember wondering why did the teacher draw the house
with the door in the middle of the building and windows either side. This was
because I knew we lived in a house in a terrace and our door was to one side,
just like the other houses in the street. I had no spiritual impressions of the
Lord Jesus Christ from these times.
Just across the street from our house there was a
great Roman Catholic Church building and living accommodation surrounded by a
high wall. It was built of red engineering bricks and several stories high with
stained glass windows along the long church building. I can remember looking up
at the crooked lightening conductor and I can still get the feeling of austereness
and awkwardness when wondering what was behind that wall. It produced the same
feeling in me when I had the story of Toby Twirl read to me. In that story he
meets a giant who lived behind a great high walled castle. I was afraid to go
near or to even think of climbing the wall or trespass in the grounds. I did
not know it was a Roman Catholic Church until about 25 years later when my
mother informed me.
Roman Catholic Church Building
At that time I knew of no other religion than that of
the Church of England, that I knew it was Church of England but I assumed my
mother was right in all such matters.
Back Yard of 26 Fleet Street (Where David
lived)
I can remember the street lamps because a man use to
come around each night to light them as they were gas and he had a small
ladder, which he carried with him, pointed at one end.
Back Alley at 26 Fleet Street
I can remember my favourite sweets were what was
called Kylie, it is called sherbet now. We could also buy a very small amount
of bread called a penny loaf.
At that time when I was about 4 years old I wanted to
go to another Sunday school (I did not know at the time it was a church) that
was at LeeÕs Road. My mother must have taken me there before. On this occasion
it was Saturday morning and I did not believe there was no Sunday school that
day. After being dressed I think my mother must have humoured me and did not
take me seriously I said I was going to Sunday school. I left home, I do not
think my Mum realised. I walked at least two miles along Balfor Street and
along the busy LeeÕs Road and found the building, to my disappointment all
locked up. On my return I wandered off and got lost and ended up asking for
help from a Laundry Shop. They put me in the window as a lost boy and called
the police. I was soon returned home. I think my Mum was horrified how far I
had been.
Clark's Field Infants School (David
bottom right)
I can remember my first day at school in the
classroom with other children. The ceilings were high and there were things
like sandpits and black board easels and old fashion classroom desks and
tables.
The girl next door, Vivian Butler, began school with
me and I can remember her crying for her Mum. I can remember not feeling the
need to cry and I tried to comfort her and assure her all would be well.
My Auntie Edith was very good to us boys and we would
visit her every Saturday. She lived with my GranddadÕs sister. She was called
Auntie Alice. Auntie Edith would take us out to a great park in Oldham and on
the way home we would call in at the chip shop. In those days chips were real
chips, cooked in real fat. One of our favourite meals she would cook was potato
pie, with red cabbage. In the house there was a cellar that I always liked to
visit. I think at one time washing was done in the cellar.
At that time my brother was probably the only close
friend I had, although we were not too close. He was just there. We used to go,
swimming on a Saturday morning to the ÒWaterhead BathsÓ. This type of swimming
baths was typical of old-fashioned baths of the time. They were small, the
water green, and walls tiled cream. At the side of the pool there were slipper
baths where you could sit up to your chin in hot water and carbolic soap
supplied to wash with. It was very cosy. In fact the whole atmosphere was warm
and cosy, not like the cold clinical swimming baths of modern times. Next-door
was the washhouse where mum used to go at the same time to do washing.
One Saturday morning I nearly drowned and was saved
by the attendant called Norman. I had tiptoed backwards and as the pool got
slowly deeper and deeper I found I could not touch the bottom. It was through
the providence of God that the attendant turned to see me reaching upwards out
of the water. I couldnÕt speak. He dived in to rescued me and I can still feel
the fear today of nearly drowning.
Across the road from the swimming baths was a
slaughterhouse, next door to inhabited houses. We were very curious and would
look through the slatted windows and see the men kill the pigs, sheep and
cattle. This was awesome and ghoulish and a fearful thing but we were very
curious and wanted to see how the men slew the animals. There was blood, animal
intestines, animal heads bones and blood. The smell was awful and not pleasant
at all and it seemed as though the pigs knew they were going to be slaughtered
and their end was come. I have wondered about my brother since then, as he was
two and half years older than I, how this may have affected him. Later on in
life he demonstrated a callous way, which was characteristic of killing without
mercy just like these slaughter men.
About this time I can remember coming home from
school and in the dusk of that day the house seemed unusually quiet. I noticed
some blood on my brotherÕs book and my mum told me there had been an accident.
My brother had fallen down a basement stairway shaft at school and landed on his
back. He was concussed and I can remember then feeling how precious life was
and my brother could have died through the fall. It was awesome. I still had no
recollection of God during this time.
Oldham is a town in the north of England not far from
the city of Manchester and during the 19th century was an industrial community
famous for its cotton mills. In fact, my grandfather was a great supporter of
the Trades Unions. As a child I can remember the old mills, red brick built
with huge chimneys towering high above the buildings. I remember also the water
reservoirs, which we were always warned to stay away from. My mother had spoken
about children being drowned in them and this was sufficient for me to obey
her.
Typical Mill at Oldham
My Mum took me to my first day at school. I was in
the second year of the infants. My
mum had arranged for me to walk home with a girl called Vivian who apparently
lived in Coates Way, which was where we lived. Not that I knew my address
because I didnÕt. All I knew was we had move to a place called Garston so I
assumed we lived in Garston Road.
When it came to walking home I had to follow Vivian
but she took me by a way that I had never been before. A completely different
way and across a park to what was the other end of Coates Way. She left me
there and I had no Idea where I was, as I did not recognise anywhere at all.
Feeling uneasy about all this I realised I was now lost. So I made my way back
towards the school and began to ask people where Garston Road was. There was no
such place but I insisted I lived in Garston Road. A man with a Bedford
dormobile offered to take me back to school to find out where I lived, so off
we went. The schoolteacher said I live in Coates Way where Vivian had took me
but I said I didnÕt live there, as I could not recognise the place. The man
took me back to Coates Way but I could not recognise where I lived. He drove from one end to the other. It
was quite a long Way with a Council estate on one end and private houses at the
other end. This was where I lived, 149 Coates Way. I saw my Mum in the front
garden - so I arrived home after being lost on my first day at school.
My classroom teacher was a German woman called Miss
Kitchinger. She spoke with a German accent and I spoke with a broad Lancashire
accent. We did not hit it off and I was hopeless at reading the flash cards. It
seemed as though I was singled out and proved to be a dunce, as I could not
really read. Being small I think I
would mess about.
One day when I arrive at school I found a pair of
pumps (they called them plimsolls) on my desk and I did not like them being
there. Feeling rather indignant I place them in the dustbin. I think I might
have asked the teacher Òplease Miss, whose are these pumps?Ó but I was ignored,
as she did not understand me so in the bin they went.
The next day VivianÕs parents came to school wanting
to find out where her plimsolls had gone. The caretaker said he had found them
and placed them on my desk. When I was questioned I was in trouble and Miss
Kitchinger said my mum would have to buy Vivian a new pair as I had thrown them
away. I felt this unfair and really picked on. I know my mum came to the school
and had an argument about the pumps and the fact that a German teacher was
trying to teach English. The time was only 10 years after the war had ended
(She wasnÕt happy with the Germans).
At that time my mum had to work late and it was
arranged for me to wait in the classroom after school until my mum came to pick
me up. This was shortly after the event with the plimsolls. The class had a pet
hamster and this little creature got all the attention from every one. I was
the one that got no attention but rather got into trouble. One evening whilst I
was waiting in the classroom for my mum to collect me the teacher left the
classroom for a short while.
I went towards the hamster cage and thought to my
self why do you get all the attention. I know what I am going to do with you. I
took the hamster out to the cage and closed the door. I looked the hamster in the in the
eyes and went over to VivianÕs desk and put it inside, shutting the lid quickly
thinking that will pay her back for getting me in trouble over her plimsolls. I
sat back in my chair before the teacher returned and went home with mum as
though nothing had happened.
The next day I went into class as quiet as I could
and keeping out of the way. I waited patiently for the eruptions then suddenly,
Oh Miss, screamed Vivian; the hamster is in my desk. It had weed and messed
everywhere through out the night. Every one gathered around the desk to see at
the same time I felt very guilty. One boy tried to suggest the hamster had
escaped and climbed up the table leg and got through the whole drilled at the
bottom to let spilled ink to drain.
A good ideal I though keep thinking that. Then some one asked how did it
get out of the cage as the door was closed. I was feeling very, very guilty now
and wondered if Miss Kitchinger was thinking had I done the deed the night
before. I kept quiet and to this day they do not know how that hamster got
there. During this time my brother was attending the Lea Farm Junior School,
the school I was to attend the next year or so.
My mum use to take me to Sunday school from time to
time and I didnÕt mind going. One day (about 1958) on the way home from normal
school I would walk past the Congregational church building, rather a modern
one and the vicar lived in a Gypsy stile caravan in the church grounds.
The church was always left open and we often went in
the church on the way home. I saw on one occasion some boyÕs take the money out
of the collection box, which too was left unlocked. I could not understand
this. Why where things left unlocked for anyone to steel from.
One day after school I met the vicar when I was
looking around the church and I asked him why is the building left open and why
is the collection box not locked. His reply puzzled me. He said the church
should be always open for people because God was like that and that if people
fell they need to steel the collection then they must need it badly. He did not
feel the box should be locked. I was puzzled and said by why? The vicar was
sure it was the right thing to do. That stayed with me to this day and people
get angry some times with me for not looking up my house.
At this same church I can remember the Easter
services. I had no Idea what the gospel was nor did I understand the Easter
story. I can remember sitting in the pew during the Easter service listening to how they crucified
Jesus wondering why Jesus did not come down from the cross. I felt he could
have done so and confound all them Pharisees, but why didnÕt he do so. I knew
the story about his death and resurrection but did not know what it all meant.
I never did find out until 14 years later when I was 21 years old when I
learned to read the bible for my self. It was then I learned that Jesus had to
die to take away my sins. That he died in my place to set me free from sin, self
and death.
It was about this time (1959) that my mum encouraged
me to play the piano. Mum favourite artists were Perry Como and, ÒSide SaddleÓ
was a piece of mumÕs favourite music, which I learned to play. I had music
lessons with a Miss Mary Lee, a music teacher in Garston and eventually I
graduated with a merit Grade 1 (Primary) RSA in Pianoforte. This was July
1960. The sort of music, which was
popular in those days, was. ÒYellow Polka Dot Bikini, My Old mans a dustman by
Lonnie Donnigan, Living Doll by Cliff Richards. Also the Hula-Hoop was a craze.
My brother and I lived at
149 Coates Way, Garston and our house was the last private house next to the
Council housing estate on the same road. There was a boy who lived with his
mother in a council house just along the road from us and my brother nicknamed
Cecil, as this sounded like a suitable name for a sissy. He was a cripple in
the sense that his feet were curved inwards and he walked awkwardly and he must
have been about 10 years old. My brother poked fun at him and I too soon
followed suit. We would sing about him and made up a song called, ÒCecil, Cecil
a Cecil feetÓ. He would try and avoid us. As I write about it I feel bad and if
I were to catch my son or daughter saying such things I would deal with them
severely.
One day Cecil came on his
bike down to the woods that we called the dell. We were playing up the trees
and had made a catapult out of one of the branches of the trees. One person
would sit in the branch and two or three other kids would pull on the rope till
the branch was fully bent. The rope would be released and the person would be
catapulted up in the air. They would have to hold on tightly other wise they
would end up in the other trees.
On this day my brother had
it in for Cecil. He had come to play in the dell and we took his bike from him
putting into or catapult. We released the rope and his bike went up, over and
into trees and then left Cecil to recover it. We were nasty. We thought this was
great fun but Cecil did not and was very unhappy.
His mother then came to our
house and complained to my mum about our bullying Cecil but she seemed to have
no mercy. She said Cecil had got to learn to look after himself and he was a
sissy. She said he would have to learn to stand on his own two feet. I felt mum
was wrong as I knew how bad we were and my mum seemed to have no mercy. I felt
guilty at that time but kept quiet.
Shortly after this incident
my brother encouraged me to take our newly acquired air pistols to school and
Cecil was the one who my brother bullied and threaten to shoot in the
playground. In fact it was at the Lea Farm Junior School and during the morning
break Cecil was in the playground hiding behind the wall and Michael had the GAT
air pistol and took pot shots at him. Fortunately for Cecil he missed but that
is the way it was. On reflection my brother seemed to have no mercy at all. My
brother must have been in the final year and I in the first year of Lea Farm
Junior School.
David at Lea Farm Junior
School
It wasnÕt long however
before my air pistol was found and confiscated by the teacher. This was because
one of the other boys had taken it from my desk, after the assembly that day, and
was caught by a teacher running around the classroom with it. Of course I was
in trouble again with the Headmaster and I got the cane for bringing a
dangerous weapon to school.
Michael and I must
have been about 10 and 12 years old and Mum and dad had renovated an old Ford
convertible whose number plate was BBU.
Our mum had bought
this car whilst we were living in Oldham and dad was working in Watford. Dad
had moved from Oldham to the South to get a job and was living with his mum
(our grandma at Ash Tree Road Garston, Watford). Our parents were able to buy
our house at 149 Coates Way, Garston and it was mum who decided to buy the car
to get Michael and I down from Oldham to Watford. I was proud of my mum for
doing this at it was a long way to travel from Oldham to Watford in those days.
In fact on two or three occasions it stopped on the way and mum had to get help
from garages to blow air down the fuel pipe to clear the stoppages.
It was this car
that I often fell out of when the breaks were hit. It causes me to move foreword
and push open the door look. The doors opened the opposite way round the cars
of our days. I would end up on the
road outside the car. Dad eventually was able to put a safety chain on the
handle to stop this happening.
I was also proud of
my dad as he rebuilt the engine and painted the car black and green. Mum made a
new convertible top using her sewing skills. It was a bit like Noddy's cars it
was really good.
It was in this car
we went to Brixton for a holiday and it was there mum and dad bought Michael
and I a fishing rod each. I had a wooden cane one and he had a metal rod. I
remember I was always jealous of what he had because I always thought his
things where better than mine.
However we were
very keen to try out the rods out in the sea harbour. Michael rushed to the waterside just
around the corner and soon came back crying with part of his rod in hand. He
said a man had took his rod and thrown it into the sea and rod of on a bike.
Dad rushed around but no on could be seen. We looked for the man on his bike
but one on was to be seen. It is only now as I look back that I believe Michael
had quickly put the rod together pretended to fish by casting an imaginary line
and the rod top had gone straight into the see. He probably felt he would have
been told off by our dad and be in trouble. So he invented a story about a man
on a bike.
When I look back it
is incidences like this that I learned about the way Michael thought and the
way his mind worked and in latter life able to stretch a story.
Every year the fair would
come to Garston and I really looked forward to ride the dodgem cars. All the
kid would go to the fair and spend lots of time watching. I can remember two
brothers who worked on the fair and these were like heroes and we would wonder
who was the strongest and speculate, which on could lift a dodgem car above
their head. We would also listen to the latest pop music, which played through
large loudspeakers. This was before any one had personal radios or cassette
players. There was no Top of the Pops on TV. So the fair was the place to hear
pop music.
I was probably about 11 or
12 years old this year and I remember stealing £3 from my mumÕs purse. I felt
guilty and bad at the time and I still feel the shame as I write about it now
and this hard earned money of my mum was spent at the fair. At one time I was
at the fair on my own trying to get a free ride on the dodgem cars and a man in
a suit offered me a number of free rides. He then asked me to help him fix his
car that had broken down which was along the St Albans Road. I wasnÕt too happy
about this so I went home and told my mum. Within a short while the CID came
and asked me all sorts of questions about this man and I was able to help them
all I could. It just shows how youngsters can be caught off guard. Thankfully I
had listened to my mum and got away.
My brother at that time had
a paper round and use to get up early each morning, which means of course he
now had his own money. I can remember him obtaining all sorts of new things
like writing cases, pens, pencils, ink cartridges, etc. all the little things
one would like but could not afford. I soon realised that my brother was not
buying them but stealing them from the shop that he worked at.
On the odd occasion I would
go and help him deliver the papers. I enjoyed this as it took me to places I
had never been before. On this first occasion we had to deliver papers to a
hospital or residential home and around the back of the building we could see
the kitchens and we could help our selves to the cakes, which had been freshly
cooked. I learn from my brother how easy it was to get things I wanted.
I always looked up to my
brother and often envied the things he did and had. I remember him going to
Switzerland with the school and him coming home with all kinds of good, like a walking
stick, flick knives, badges etc. Flick knives were illegal and to have a flick
knife was a good thing.
Michael soon got in to bow
and arrows, air rifles, pistols, swords and sheath knives, all of, which seemed
good to me. In fact we use to hide all these weapons under the floorboards in
our shed, which our dad had built at the bottom of our garden.
At this time I remember my
mum and dad buying me a new bike. It was a red Californian with curved
crossbars etc. I thought it was great and was ever so pleased with it. One day
the bike went missing and I knew some one had taken it so I was very upset. When
I went out looking for it I noticed up the main road that an accident had taken
place as there were cars stopped and people milling around. To my horror I saw my nice new bike
crumpled and just lying at the side of the road. The boy who had taken it had
been knocked off the bike and was lying in the road awaiting an ambulance and
every one was trying to take care of him.
I thought to my self never
mind about him, as he had stolen my bike, look at my new bike all bent. I was
very upset. No one however took any notice of me, neither were they concerned
about my bike being damaged. The boyÕs name was Michael Abbes, from the Council
side of Coates Way, and we had been friends until that time. I seem to remember
he had broken his leg or legs in the accident. His mother later said he had not
stolen my bike but rather I had left it at their house and he was just
returning it to me.
My interest in radio, which
we now call electronics, started the day I heard a crystal set operate. I must
have been 11 or 12 years old. We were members of the Camping Club of Great
Britain and every weekend we would go camping to Chertsey where we had a tent
pitched.
Dad at Chertsey campsite
Dad by our canoe
One weekend my brother stole
a crystal set from one of the other campers. It consisted of a small tuning
capacitor in a blue plastic case and a crystal diode together with a set of
headphones. I was intrigued and was amazed as it worked. From that day I became
to be interested in radio and electronics. Soon after this I sent away for a
set of parts to build a two transistor, radio reflex receiver, and put the
thing together, as best I could. I wired the circuit as I thought the diagram
showed and crushed it all together to fit inside its plastic case. It didnÕt
work and I was most disappointed. I didnÕt realise that all the wires were
shorted together when I crushed it into the plastic case. Another friend of
mineÕs dad helped me out. He was a radio technician in the Royal Air force and
he rebuilt the receiver and showed me how to wire circuits up. From that time I
began to learn about how things worked and taught my self-many things with the
help of others.
Another friend of mine had a
dad who had a radio workshop and I was very envious of all the equipment he had
in his garage. I remember the boy being confident enough to take apart out of
an old radio for me, without any sense of fear. I was quite impressed. From
then on I taught my self quite a lot and began to learn about transistors. On
one occasion about this time, on the way home from school, I climbed over the
fence of someoneÕs back garden and discovered to my pleasure a shed full of
radio parts and equipment. There were valves, tuning condensers, transformers
etc., we took what we wanted and thought no more of it.
Another friend of my parents
was an ex Air force radio technician and he taught me all about diodes and
rectifiers, half wave and full wave rectifying circuits and AM demodulators.
This was at the age of 12.
This hobby was to last me a lifetime
and helped lead me to a job in radio and television servicing and also to Luton
College of Technology. During this
time whilst living in Garston I had no sense of or knowledge of God and I had
stopped going to Sunday school.
My first senior school was
in Garston as I had failed the 11 plus. It was at this school I first heard a
boy play ÒApacheÓ by the Shadows, on an acoustic guitar and I was very
impressed. Michael had already started at this school and did well at cricket,
Boxing and Basketball. I was not good at any of these things but rather was
interested in my radio hobby, which led me to trips to London, on the train,
from Watford Junction, to buy components.
It was towards the end of my
first year at Francis Coombe Secondary modern school that I ventured out to
London, on the train, with a friend of mine, Paul Dorrington. This was to visit
the second hand electrical shops, to buy radio parts. I loved visiting
Tottenham Court Road for this purpose and it was on one of these visits that we
stumbled across Soho and noticed the strip clubs. These aroused our curiosity.
Paul and I plucked up courage and paid to go in and sit at a table. We could
see a nude lady sitting on a chair and were given a sketchpad and pencil and
encouraged to draw her picture. I felt I was growing up. Afterwards we paid one
or two more visits and became wiser.
When we moved to Wilstone, a
village near Tring in Hertfordshire, my radio and television hobby helped me
pass the time and kept me out of too much trouble.
Towards the end of 1961 our
parents had decided to buy a village shop in Wilstone, a village near Tring,
Hertfordshire. When we moved
Michael and I went to Tring Secondary Modern School. I can remember feeling we
were different as we had come from Watford to a county village. Michael wore
different cloths and on one occasion he wore winkle picker shoes and some of
the girls from the next village couldnÕt help but say, ÒOh look at those shoesÓ.
They were just different and even I thought they were stupid. I suppose they
felt threatened.
It was during this time that
I taught myself more about Radio and amplifiers and became absorbed in this
hobby. I met a man in the village
called Cluk Turney who was the man to know about televisions and radios and he
gave me a lot of help. He taught me about valve amplifiers and allowed me to
build a power amplifier from all the spare parts that he had. It was a push
pull amplifier using two PX4 valves and a triode driver. I had to rewind the
driver and output transformers in order to get it working. I learned a lot from
Cluck Turney.
On one occasion I was able to
connect a microphone up to the amplifier that I had made and direct the speaker
out of my bedroom window. I then spoke to people out side our shop from my
bedroom window. On this occasion I
saw a woman in her rear garden, just opposite the shop and I called Ethel,
Ethel as loud as possible saying. Ò Ethel, Ethel I am watching youÓ. I heard
many years latter that she thought it sounded a bit like God speaking from the
sky.
I later had a visit from the
local policeman as I had found a 12 bore shotgun in an old barn and brought it
home. When I showed it to my next-door neighbour he recognised the gun and
realised who it belonged too and so he informed the local policeman to get it
returned to its owner.
Whilst at Tring School a
friend of mine Duncan Miller found a baby fox cub in a wood and I wanted to
keep it so I took it home. Unfortunately my Grandma who had come to stay freaked
out when she saw it as she was frightened and to my dismay my brother killed it
and to this day I felt he was callous.
It wasnÕt very long after
this when my brother got sent to his first spell in Detention Centre. He had
made a knuckle-duster at school, in the metal work class, and tried it out by
hitting some boy in the village.
What happened was some lads
had found our mopped in the field and had a go at riding it without our
permission. Not that they would know whom to ask but my brother felt he would
sort them out for riding it. I think it was an excuse to use the knuckle-duster
that he had made.
When the police were called
in he made out the knuckle duster was made as a part for the moped and my mum
was certain this was true and she defended my brother to the hilt. I knew it
wasnÕt, true and my brother did a spell in Detention centre for 3 months, for
grievous bodily harm. I did not go along with my brotherÕs violence and could
not understand it. His reputation spread and the schoolteachers began to
identify me with me with him and I think they began to be wary of me too.
Unfortunately Michael used to mixed with all the lads who had bad reputations
and no one would dare upset them.
Village life proved too much
for my mum and she became depressed due to they way things were and the trouble
Michael had gotten into so it was decided to sell up and move to a new house in
Aylesbury.
Once we had sold the village
shop mum and I moved to Oldham whilst Michael and dad moved into lodgings in
Aston Clinton. This was while the house they had bought off plan was being
built. We moved to live with my aunt Edith at 26 Fleet Street, in the town
where I was born and had to go to school. This was ClarkÕs Field Senior School and
I became a bit of a celebrity simply because I was from ÒLondonÓ. This status
increased when I told the ÒladsÓ about my trips to Soho. It was here that I
first heard of the Beatles as they were playing in Oldham at that time. The song I remember that was popular,
ÒLove me doÓ, which came out in October 1962.
During my time in Oldham we
were there for about three months, I built a balsa wood, controlled line,
aeroplane, a radio transmitter for a remote control aircraft and learned to ice
skate.
We had a very cold winter,
the coldest on record and the snow fell and the streets froze over. My mum
bought me a pair of second hand ice skates and I learned to skate on the frozen
streets in Oldham.
After staying for while in
Oldham we moved back to Watford and lived with my DadÕs mum, my grandma. On
this occasion I had to go back to Francis Coombe Secondary School and I renewed
acquaintances with my former friends. It was during this time I made my first
transistor radio set. It was a two transistor reflex receiver and I was very
proud of it, as it was the size of a matchbox. I also missed riding the moped
and so I got up very early one morning and walked into Watford where I knew a
motorbike was parked and took it. I drove several miles to a secret place and
parked it up and went home. I later used it for joy riding with my friends. I
walked miles that morning and my mum never knew about it.
Michael also would visit us at
Watford and see his old friends who played in a pop group and on one occasion
he gave me a pair of bell-bottom trousers and a shirt, with a long pointed
collar. Michael and his friend wanted to take me to the dance that was held at
Leavesdon, on a Friday or Saturday night. I really enjoyed myself there and
wanted to go again. I met some of my friends from school there and one boy
noticed my clothes and said that I was a Mod.
Unfortunately for me after
this I began to get bullied at school by a group of boys who were what you
might call Jack the Lads. I learned afterward the reason and it was to do with
Michael. One of the boys was from Australia and was the ringleader of this gang
and he had a girl friend at the school called Pat Petty. She was very boys
dream of a girl. Well Michael had met her at the Leavesdon dance and chatted
her up. This Australian boy was jealous and a soon as they realised I was
MichaelÕ brother they had it in for me.
I was interested in
amplifiers and one day, when walking home, I was curious to take a look around
a catholic church on the North Orbital Road, near Garston when I noticed a
Public Address amplifier, sitting on a shelf, which was obviously used as their
PA system. It was a 15 Watt Linear Concord and it took my eye so I decided I
would take it, saying to my self that it didnÕt matter as the Catholic religion
was wrong, so it didnÕt matter- at least according to my mother. This amplifier
became my first guitar amp, which I used in our first rock group, at a later
date.
My first matchbox radio
It was during this time I
obtained a circuit diagram of a two transistor reflex receiver and with the
components I obtained from Tottenham Court Road, London, I built this on a
small paxolin board. This was before printed circuit boards were readily
available. I was very pleased with this as it had good sensitivity and
selectivity and was about the size of a matchbox.
Our new house was situated on the Bedgrove estate in
Aylesbury and was ready for us to move in, in April of 1963. However
before we left Wilstone I had enjoyed riding a moped in an old orchard, in the
village. It belonged to a friend of Michael and I was allowed to ride this moped.
It was a 50 cc NSU Quickly and was kept in his orchard. Once we had moved into
out new house in Aylesbury I was able to return to Wilstone and take the engine
from the moped frame and put the engine in a home made go kart. I made this
go-kart from builderÕs wood that I took from the building site. I use the moped
engine, a set of wheels from a childÕs three wheeler tricycle, and various
parts from a cement mixer. I then began to ride this machine around the new
roads on the housing estate. However I was eventually stopped by the
local police and warned that it was illegal to ride this Go Kart on the roads
and soon after that the local newspaper came and gave me a write up in the
Bucks Herald.
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David's do it your self-kart
(May 1963)
An Aylesbury boy was able to return to school after the
Easter holidays and proudly tell his friends, Ò IÕve made a Go Cart in the
holidays.Ó He is 14 years old, David Clarke, of 37 Finmere Crescent, Bedgrove.
On
Sunday of last week a friend gave David (pictured above) and old moped. As he
was unable to ride it he - he is too young he dismantled it. He then made a Kart
frame from some pieces of wood, four old wheels and a set of handlebars and the
moped engine.
Within
three days it was in working condition and David estimates it will do 20 miles
and hour.
Incidentally
David, who has lived in the town for only a month has very little real interest
in engines. His main hobby is in radio construction work and one of his
proudest possessions is a transistor radio, which he built that is slightly
larger than a matchbox.
It
was during this space of time, before starting my new school; I met another lad
called Ian Morttam. We encouraged each other to steel pushbikes. In fact the
first day I went to school I stole a bike to come home from school.
I eventually got a Francis
Barnet 150 CC motorbike, which my brother had stolen from Aylesbury College,
with some other lads. I kept this in a field on the Bedgrove estate near our
home. It was great fun to have a motorbike and I would ride across the
fields to school and return home during my lunch hour. However one day
some one stole my motorbike and Ian Morttram informed me that he thought he
knew the person that had taken it. I went to this person's house early
one morning during my paper round and found a motorbike in his garage. This wasnÕt
my bike but I took it anyway. This ended up in me being charge with garage
breaking and being put on probation for two years.
My
first recollection of any religious person having any effect on my life was
when I was about to leave school, at the age of 15 years.
My
mother had spoken to a Mr K H Knight who was the proprietor of Central Bucks TV
and had arranged for me to have a part time job working after school and on a
Saturday. This was until I left school and took up full time work as an
apprentice to Mr Knight. I am told years latter that my letter of job
application was so badly written and the spelling so awful it was laughable.
However I was taken on despite my ability not to write, spell or use correct
grammar, or read properly. This was during my last year at school.
I
first met Mrs Grace Knight, one Saturday morning, whilst working for her
husband Ken. She was in hot pursuit of her husband and shouting at him for
doing some thing she disapproved of. I was in the workshop, with Norman Garret
the other apprentice, and I thought- wow what and awful dragon of a woman and
pitied Mr Knight from that moment on.
Through
Mr Knight (Ken) I was introduced to the Radio and Television servicing trade
and often went with him into customerÕs houses to repair TVÕs and install
television aerials.
I
spent many hours with Ken going to people homes and soon learned that he was
not faithful to his wife. Not that it bothered me, as I knew what Grace was
like from our first meeting. The idea of sexual promiscuity was very attractive
to me. When we went out enjoying our selves Mrs Knight would be left at home or
in the workshop minding their two children Allison and Mark. They also had a
big dog called Rufus. By this time I had left school and was interested in our
band, as we wanted to make music. Ian Myers was the bass guitarist and he built
his own guitar amplifier from a circuit design and published in Practical
Wireless. He built the amplifier I helped him with the speaker cabinet and it
was used in all our future gigs.
I
soon began to realise the things I enjoyed were not the things Mrs Knight
approved of, or found interesting. I thought she was a right Òkill joyÓ and was
boring. She was a Christian what ever that meant and I soon realise her values
were not the same as mine. What I considered good and enjoyable she would call
it sin and sinful
She
would also complain to her husband that I was always with him and he gave her
no time. It seemed she was often driven to despair by him never being in on
time and being very unreliable. He would often leave her for hours whilst we
were at work out on jobs.
On
one occasion Norman GarretÕs mum complained to Mrs Knight the Norman her son,
was not getting the training he needed because Ken was always taking me out
with him. I heard this conversation over the shops intercom. Mrs Knight said
yes I was a nuisance and she did not like me one bit and it was not good that I
should be out with her husband all the time. Upon hearing this I felt angry and
went down the stairs to where they were and confronted them both saying that I
had heard what they had said about me. They were embarrassed and I am sure did
not help our relationship. I really thought Mrs Knight was an ogre.
I
began to attend Luton College of Technology, to learn about Radio and
Television Servicing, and travelled by bus, one day a week, from Aylesbury to
Luton; it was about an hourÕs run.
I think it must have been due to Mrs Knight and her religion that I
began to notice the texts of scripture put up out side churches as I past by on
the bus, they were called ÒWay side pulpitsÓ. I began to memorise the verses.
Ò Righteousness exalteth a nation but sin is a
reproach to any peopleÓ,
And
also another:
Ò Jesus said if you find life difficult learn of me
and the burden I shall give you will not be too difficult to carryÓ.
At
that time I had no idea of the meaning of these texts of scripture but found it
amusing to quote them to Mrs Knight at any in appropriate moment thinking it
would embarrass her.
On
one occasion I can remember being dressed in an old blanket made into an
undercoat from an army anorak. I was standing on the corner of the street near
to the workshop one Saturday morning with Mr and Mrs Knight. I quoted at the
top of my voice these two scriptures in order to embarrass Mrs Knight. I am not
sure how they felt about it but little did I know that one day I would learn
the truth of these texts and become a preacher of the Gospel myself.
I
enjoyed working for Mr Knight because he seemed to appreciate my help and
abilities and would trust me to drive the van at 15 years old. On one occasion
he was short of a driver and had to deliver a television so he dressed me up in
a sheepskin coat and gave me dark glasses to wear with instructions to deliver
a TV to a house in Quarendon. I was very pleased to do this even more when it
turned out that I was delivering the TV set to one of my school friends called
Gillespie. On another occasion I was given the job of replacing a complete I.F.
board on a new Ferguson TV receiver, in a customers home. A qualified engineer
in a workshop setting normally would have done this but this unconventional
approach was normal to me. Mr Knight had complete confidence in me at the age
of 15 or 16 years old. I am sure the customer was not at all happy at this 15
year old repairing their lovely brand new Television.
During this time I was
still making music in the group and when I was 16 Mr Knight's business failed
and went into liquidation so I found myself another job. I got an
apprenticeship with Sale and Mellor at Radio a TV shop in Aylesbury. I worked
her until I got trouble with the police when I was dismissed at the age of 17
years.
It was shortly after this time
that I got into trouble with the police for breaking into a garage and stealing
a motorbike. I had a Francis Barnett 150 CC, which had been stolen from the
field where I kept it and a friend of mine told me that it was in this garage,
along the Tring Road. At first I was just interested in getting my bike back
but when I opened the garage door I was disappointed not to find it - just a
125 BSA Bantam. I thought well its better than nothing so I decided to take it
any way and wheeled it out of the garage and back to our field, to use it later.
The police later caught me and for this first crime I was charged with garage
breaking and put on probation for two years.
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It was after this that decided I wanted to play the electric
guitar and I can remember a lad called Alan Lawrence, from Tring Secondary
Modern School, having an electric guitar and bringing it to school. He
plugged it into the schools record player and it sounded great. I wanted to
learn to play like him. The first
guitar I owned was an electric Hofner Futurama II and a friend called Steve
showed me how to play Twist and Shout and it was this that got me really
interested to play properly. I put together my own guitar amplifier, using
the PA amplifier that I had stolen from the Catholic Church. (I had inherited
a prejudice against the Catholic Church, from my mum, and so when I took the
amplifier I ignored my conscience by saying to myself they were wrong any way).
I then began to get more
interested in making music and during my last year at school we formed a band
and we played at the end of term school dance. Our Gym teacher, Mr Pottinger,
organized this event.
|
Dave Clarke from the 60's, with Robby Woods (top)
Ian Myers
Ian Myers was the base guitarist
and later Robby Woods became our lead guitarist. On that occasion though, at
the school do, Willie Barrett was lead guitarist. He was the only one of us to
make musical fame. He became known as Wild Willy Barrett and played music with
John Otway.
After leaving
school we reformed the group and began to play music at various dance halls and
I named the group ÒThe Fowler MeanÓ. By this time I had a new amplifier that
was a Vox AC 30 and replaced the amplifier that I had stolen from the Catholic
Church. One of our regular spots, on a Saturday night, was Courts Dance School,
just off Kingsbury Square. We would play all cover music by groups such as, The
Rolling Stones, The Who, The Small Faces, The Kinks, Otis Reading and
John Lee Hooker. We played, "My Generation", but I knew it was
not quite right and I never did find out how to play the right cords to this
day. The opening chords we played were four down strokes on G followed by four
downward strokes on F but that is not right. I always thought if ever I met Pete
I would ask him to show me how play those opening chords. I
really enjoyed playing with the band but was eventually sacked and it was then
that Malcolm Kirkham and I began to knock around with each other.
Our favourite band
The Who
My favourite band was The
Who. This group introduced
something to music that was new. It was volume. My Generation was the real hit
that made the Who. I can remember hearing them, at the Grosvenor Dance Hall, in
Aylesbury. Pete Townshend was the lead guitar, John Entwhistle on bass, Keith
Moon on drums and Roger Daultary lead singer. There was not a band to touch
them they were brilliant. We saw them on a number of occasions including places
like Borehamwood and the Bedford Corn Exchange.
I can remember the amplifier
line up (being interest in amplifiers) Pet Townshend had 2X 100 Vox guitar
amplifiers, connected in parallel and John Entwhistle had 4 X 60 watt Vox bass
amplifiers and their PA system was Vox columns and Shure microphones. The
volume added depth to the music and none of us had experienced anything like it
before. Songs like my Generation, I Can See for Miles, I'm a Boy, Love is
Strange were all classic Who numbers and nu-forgettable pieces of music.
The Who our favourite Band
Malcolm Kirkham use to be
one of our singers which made 5 in the band and we use to go out together on
our scooters. I had inherited my brotherÕs Lambretta TV 175 CC and Malcolm had
a 150 CC new Lambretta and we began to mix with the Mods in Aylesbury and
district.
He had been sacked from the
group because he messed about. Malcolm would always arrive late and never be in
time to set up the equipment. He would always comb his hair or having to press
his trousers and he general fooled around. He was nicknames CoCo the clown.
After mixing with the other
lads in Aylesbury I soon found out my brother was well known and when it was
made known I was Mike ClarkeÕs brother it was like having a license to or say
any thing, I was accepted. I was one of the boys.
I recalled the times my
brother had told me of the parties they use to have and I began to want to get
involved in all the fun. Pep pills, scooter, Mod fashions, dances, girls and
permissive sex. All of which I found positive and attractive as we were looking
for a good time in the world.
The image I had of my
brother was that he was quite a character and had a way with girls. I remember
that was how I wanted to be and follow him in fame.
I can remember one
impressive occasion I must have been just 16 and met one of MichaelÕs friends
who was a Mod. One Saturday night out side the Grosvenor he came dressed in
brightly coloured trousers and a black plastic mac wearing girls make up around
the eyes. This was the in thing to do and I thought this is good and liked it.
The normal mode of transport
was either a Lambretta or Vespa scooter with crash bars, back rests, spare
wheel carriers and mirrors. The scooters would be custom sprayed and generally
a world war green Parker or black plastic cape was the uniform. All of this
became the world I wanted to be in.
I remember my brother coming
to see us at Rockley Sands, in Bournemouth when I was away with my parents on
holiday. I must have been 15 years old. He came dressed in a brown suit with 22
inch, Oxford Bag trousers, with small turn-ups. His top was a white crew necked
and red stripped tea shirt. Also brown brogue leather shoes. This was some
fashion that I had not seen before. It was the Mod fashion.
He told me he had to return
to Aylesbury to do some repairs and tidy up mum and dads house as they had a
party and the place had been wrecked. Apparently all the Aylesbury Mods and
from the district had been to his party held at Mum and Dads house. They had
rolled up the carpets and put them in the garage but the bathroom sink had been
pulled off the wall as some girl had got drink and sat in it. He told me of the
promiscuity and it all seemed good fun. This was the year 1963 or 4 when the
Beatles and Rolling Stone came to fame. Also Gerry and the Pacemakers had a hit
records at the time called, ÒI Like itÓ.
I met Susan, at a Friday
night dance being organised at the Aylesbury College, she was 15 and looked
great. She had blond hair in a Bob style. I was 16, wearing my navy blue Mod
suite and I had arrived on my Lambretta. I asked her to dance and later asked
if I could take her home. I was feeling great when she agreed and so I covered
up my learner plate, which was just under the rear, number plate and took her
home. This was the beginning of my first love, which only lasted a few months.
When she told she wanted to finish the relationship I was heart broken and she
sought to encourage me by saying I would find some one else. I never did and
had no interest in finding any one else. My only interest in girls after that
was for sex alone- not friendship or anything else.
During this time Malcolm and
I mixed with the Mods in Aylesbury we were both 16 years old and we began to
meet with these older lads and were curious to try pep pills (purple hearts,
black bombers and Dexedrine) and smoke hashish, or grass, so we began to make
some inquiries where to get some. In the mean time we would experiment smoking
crushed codeine tablets and dried banana skins. This was purely to satisfy a
curiosity and to experience new things.
The was a pub in Aylesbury called the, ÒFlee PitÓ situated in Kingsbury
Square and it was there we understood we could buy hash. However at 16 I went
in this pub and became very embarrassed as on the wall behind the bar were
displayed ladies knickers in various styles and colours. I felt embarrassed
because the sight aroused me as at that time there was very little pornography
and the sight of a women in a short skirt and legs was very provocative for a
16 year old, On reflection I had a very high libido. Which led to a very
promiscuous life style.
Shortly after this I
remember my brother coming home about 9.30 pm in a hurry. He had not long been
released from Detention Centre. Our parents were away and I had a girl friend
there. In came my brother and told me of his narrow escape from the police.
About six of his friends had been out in a stolen car, not taxed or insured,
when the police had stopped them along the Tring Road. They had all jumped out
and made a run for it. It was soon after this that my brother got sent to
Borstal Training for some crime or other. Never the less it all seemed a good
life style and I wanted more of it.
I had discovered I could buy
chloroform from a chemist and this was much better than sniffing carbon
Tetrachloride or the glue substances people began to experiment with. Shortly
after this Malcolm Kirkham after trying something like this took it in his head
he could fly on his scooter. He broke his arm and smashed his scooter in the
process but fortunately not his head as he was wearing a dear stalker crash
helmet he had stolen a few days before.
The names of some of the
lads we knew and come to mind were: Stuart Knight, Keith Guntrip, Ian Wilton,
Dill Dorwrick, and Terry Tatem
(Now dead), Phil Davis,
Brian Collier, Mickey Coil, Roy Miles, John James, Dave King, Jimmy Findlay,
Phil Davis, and the like all of which had one thing in common. They wanted fun
and were the lads of Aylesbury.
At that time after being
sacked from the group we began going to a nightclub called the Banbury Gaff.
Here we would stay up all night taking pep pills (we use to say getting
blocked) dancing and talking and in the morning end up in a cafe eating toast
before driving back to Aylesbury. Soon after this Malcolm began to mix with the
lads from Oxford and he was later sentence to some time in prison, for some
crime or other. During this time my brother was in Borstal and at the Gaff I
met Alan Dodd. He was my brotherÕs partner in crime and had escaped from
Borstal and was living on a barge in Oxford. He told me at the time he had a
gun and all this type of living impressed me as it seemed rather exciting. We
would spend time at the Gaff talking with other lads about the crimes we had
done and planned various schemes and bragged and boasted about things we had
done.
Shortly after my brother
came out of Borstal a form of transport was required for two. A solution to
this came through my brother who persuaded me to swap my scooter for a
two-seated Issetta 350 cc bubble car. I had inherited the scooter from my
brother when he was sent to Borstal but by now it had been renovated. I had
rebuilt it in the spare bedroom at home and re sprayed it British racing Green.
It was a Lambretta 175 cc. The fuel tank and tool compartment was stove
enamelled gold. It had a dual seat with a passenger back rest with very little
extras. There had been crazes whereby crash bars, wing mirrors, wheel racks and
anything made of chrome were generally attached to such machines, but not mine.
I was proud of this Lambretta. It had to go to make way for the sky blue Bubble
Car.
Before this time we had to thumb
lifts, to get to where we wanted too, if the scooter was out of action. On one
occasion we were keen to get to Bedford, as The Who were playing at the Corn
Exchange. We were dressed in our Mod mohair suits and carried a small suitcase
with our night things in. We got as far as Ampthill and were stuck at the
corner of the Ampthill to Bedford road and were about 20 miles from
Bedford. We were stuck and Michael
went into a pub to get a drink whilst I stayed on the corner trying to thumb a
lift. To my relief and just after Michael had gone to the pub, a two seater red
coupe Jaguar pulled up to offer me a lift. I rushed up to the window of the
car, carrying our small suit case, feeling very relieved that I had a lift, but
at the same time anxious as my brother was still in the pub. I said to the driver cheekily would he
mind waiting a minute, as my brother needs a lift as well. The driver was fine
and said OK. How ever to my surprise and amazement I realised whom the driver
was it was Pete Townshend, the lead guitarist of The Who. Of course that made
our day. By this Time Michael had arrived and we both squeeze into the front
seat of Pete's Jaguar. We told him who we were and that we were off to Bedford
to their gig at the Corn Exchange.
As we drove into Bedford we
stopped and Pete asked me to ask some girls the directions to where The Who
were playing. Sure enough they knew and pointed us in the direction of the Corn
Exchange. It was a great evening.
The Bubble Car
The bubble car belonged to
David Ness of Chiltern avenue in Aylesbury, who had been given it by his
brother. There was only one thing wrong with it. We had to bump start it as the
starter motor did not work. (Push it and the put it in gear as it was moving).
David's Issetta Bubble Car
In this vehicle we had many
adventures because we were liberated from the two-wheeled scooter and could
cram four people in this vehicle, if we wanted. Neither of us had passed our
driving test to drive a normal car but I had past my test to drive a motorbike
and my license allowed me to drive the three-wheeler bubble car. We were able
to carry blankets spare clothing etc. all in the dry. We carried all that we
needed for a night out in that case. It was ideal for catching girls. The front
opened up and it could be driven with the front door open. All we did was drive
up to the bird we wanted to catch and stop in front of her. Open up the door
and drive forward. She had no option but to fall in and we would drive off. It
was questioned was any girl safe with us around.
On one occasion we set off
to Margate, on one Bank holiday. This was a custom amongst our generation of
Mods. We all seemed to migrate to Yarmouth or Margate or Brighton. This was Whitsun
bank holiday 1967 and Mod and Rocker riots were common. On this trip to the
coast my brother was true to form he had borrowed a 0.22 Webley air pistol from
Pat Jones and was determined to have a good time. He had fired the occasional
pop shot at one or two girlÕs bottoms, which cause many amusements to us all.
This was not what I would have normally done because I remember how shocked I
was at 11 years old a boy having air gun fights in the woods on the way home
from school. I thought then how dangerous and stupid it was. However her was my
brother older than I acting fearlessly. I just went along with it suppressing
my natural cautiousness.
As we past through the
various towns in London the air pistol was used to cause alarm. (As I write I
shrivel up at the thought of what was done) We found it amusing to shoot at
ladies bottoms as their reactions of shock was funny. As we passed through
Lewisham several people must have reported the mystery air gun shooter and at
least one lady was wounded.
Traffic police on route to
Margate stopped us. These men briefly searched our car but found nothing
suspicious and let us go. My brother had hidden the pistol just in time and we
did not allow this close shave stop to stop our adventure.
Persons (girls) bathing at
night were targets for our folly and we found it amusing to see and her scream
from a female. It was not intended to wound or harm but that really was
inevitable.
During this weekend we moved
on to Ramsgate and again moved with a spirit of naughtiness decided to steel a
tray of peaches from a fruit and vegetable shop. The bubble car was to be used
as the get away car. The shop was half way down a hill with houses on either
side of the road, it was decided I should take the peaches and my brother to
drive the get away car. I lifted the tray of peaches and jumped in the car as
it rolled down the hill making a chug, chug, noise-attracting attention. Naturally we were spotted and reports
were made to the police but we did not know this.
Our foolishness was brought
to an end when the same traffic police that had stopped us in London, on the
way home, picked us up. I could tell from their faces they had it in for us.
A quick search of our
vehicle revealed a stolen handbag. If only we had go rid off it I thought. Then
the air gun pellets and finally the air gun itself. That was it we were
arrested the policemen having a snarl on his face and almost laughing as us. We
were charge with malicious wounding and two cases of stealing. A woman in
Lewisham had been travelling in a side care and been hit in the neck by the air
pistol buy my brother.
I was granted bail but my
brother detained in custody. We had decided that I would say I had done the
shooting and my brother was a sleep. This was to get my brother off a prison
sentence as he had already done two spells in detention centres and two years
in Borstal. I had only had a probation order and I had an apprenticeship. I
thought I would only get fined but I was wrong.
Our Mum managed to obtain
bail for my brother and we appeared in Kent Quarter sessions several months
later.
On recollection I can
remember a prison officer, at the Rochester Borstal, where I had visited my
brother a year previously, had said to me that I would be sent to Borstal if I
didnÕt watch out. I said you must have been joking. I was sent to Borstal just
as he said I would be for confessing to this crime. We were charged with malicious
wounding.
On reflection I think my
brother was not being a good brother to me. He should not have let me do it.
During the time we were
awaiting our court appearance we went one night to Bedford in the bubble car.
On the way home the bobble car caught light and blew up as the petrol tank was above
the engine. We managed to walk to Woburn Green and decided we would have to
sleep the night there. After routing though some ones garage we found an old
mattress and blankets and there was a newly piled mound of grass on the village
green. This was where we made our bed and it was very comfortable. We put up
our umbrella we had rescued from the bubble car and slept soundly until the
morning. The police, who wanted to know what we were doing - as if they could
not see, waked us up. When we explained the bubble car had blown up they said
oh yes they had seen it up the road. So they let us go without any further
questions. I arrived at work that morning but was soon to be dismissed because
I was due to appear in court and they were not prepared to trust me any more.
This was the last of the bubble car as my parents managed to sell it when we
got sentenced to prison.
My brother Michael was soon
to be released from Borstal and together we were potentially not a good influence
on one another as we were always up to some prank or another. I had
experimented with chloroform and found it very effective at putting a person to
sleep and occasionally I would try it out on a friend or two.
This effect of chloroform
caused a small stir at the local dance in Aylesbury, at the Grosvenor on
Saturday night. We attempted to put some girl to sleep. There was no malicious
intention but I think some of the girls were terrified as to what may happen to
them because of out reputation. We would carry the bottle of Chloroform in a
small wooden polished case, which had written on the side ÒDr ClarkeÓ.
On another occasion we went
into the cloths shop called Crombie Brothers to see the manager called Terry.
They must have heard about the chloroform and my brother suggested to me we try
and put him to sleep. This was because we had not been satisfied with a suit,
which had been made for me. I saw the terror on his face as we took the bottle
out of the case and I persuaded my brother not to go ahead with the idea.
It was about this time we
went and harassed Victor Prince who had made a Crombie over coat for me. I
write about this event later on.
During those days we would
do anything for a good time and in particular be on the look out for a good
time with the girls. With this in mind we decided to go and visit the girls
boarding school in Tring. Not that we meant any harm but just to have a bit of
fun. On this occasion we sneaked into the private grounds of this school and
managed to get as far as the back entrance without being spotted. We intended
to chat up any girl we found.
The school building was a
large mansion with a courtyard at the rear. The back door was open and we
simply walked in, when all was clear. We came across a group of girls who just
gasped and giggled when they saw us. We then heard the voice of a teacher so we
decided we must hide. It was too late we had caused a commotion so we fled down
a corridor into a cloakroom. This was a dead end and we had to do something to
escape. The teacher was chasing us-who knows who else? There was no alternative
but to hide in a sliding cupboard.
This old school mistress was
in hot pursuit and found no one in the cloakroom except the closed cupboard.
She was not without sense and so opened the cupboard only to find my brother
hiding. As she motioned to come out I was able to sneak out of the other
cupboard and tap her on the shoulder and as she turned around my brother nipped
out quick and we were off again. Not for long, we ran up a flight of stairs and
ended up in a toilet. It was no
good we would have to escape before the police came, so we climbed out of a
window onto the roof and got down a drainpipe to the outside world. We were
free again and without a care in the world walked across the lovely cut lawns,
only to find another group of girls with a person we assumed to be the
Headmaster. How would we get out of this situation?
With the boldness on one on
legitimate business I walked towards the Headmaster calling out excuse me sir.
As he approached me and I got very close I pointed behind him and said look
over there. As he turned to look at what I pointed at I shouted and made a
roaring noise in his ear. This was meant to distract him and so it did. Then we
were off running as fast as we could, only to be met by a police constable
riding towards us on his bicycle. He shouted to us, Òoh you ladsÓ but we were
off as fast as we could, passing through a churchyard and across peoples back gardens.
We ended up in laughter, falling to the ground shattered, in some ones back
garden, but we were free.
By now we decided to go back
to Aylesbury, as the police would now be looking for us. We decided to catch
the bus instead of thumbing a lift, since a police car might just pick us up.
How ever we were soon in trouble on this bus. My brother decided to fiddle with
the passenger escape door lock, as we were sitting at the rear of the bus. We
were not aware that this had caused a warning light to shine in the drivers
cab. The bus stopped and the driver came to investigate but he pushed his good
fortune when he tried to push my brother off the bus. A scuffle broke out and
my brother whipped out a cosh from his belt to lay, into the man. This stopped
the scuffle and we decided to leave the bus and thumb a lift back to Aylesbury.
When we appeared at the Kent
Quarter Sessions court I pleaded guilty to the charges of malicious wounding
but my brother pleaded not guilty on all accounts. I was sentenced to Borstal
Training, which meant I could do any time between 6 months to two years. That
would depend on me to some degree, on how I behaved. My brother was detained in
custody until he appeared in court a month later, during which time we were
both detained in Canterbury Prison together.
Our time in Canterbury
Prison was in one sense a time of continuous fun and just another of our good
times together, even though I had just received an awful sentence.
Upon arrival at Canterbury
Prison we were taken into the reception hall. Here we were with other newly
sentenced young persons and being with my brother made it that much easier for
me and gave me confidence because he had been to Rochester Borstal and
detention centre, on two occasions before and he knew the ropes.
These young people we met
must have been typical of the criminal population of England at the time. In
this prison we shared our experiences with others who had been sentenced to
three, four and six months and many had already been to approved schools,
detention centres and Borstal before. Some were on their second or even third
visit to prison. There was an element of excitement and curiosity as to what
made people like they were?
In the reception hall we
were issued with prison clothing. Our fingerprints were taken and photographed
and we were each given a number. After this the medical officer (all prison
officers were called screws) had inspected us and we were taken to our cell
(called a Peter). At that time we were threeÕs up. My brother and I along with
a lad from Liverpool were placed in this cell and we were to remain for a few
days until we were issued work. The cell was approximately 12 ft. by 9 ft. and
housed a bunk bed and a single bed. A table chair, water jug and urinal pot.
At half past six each
morning our sleep was broken with a bang on the door and words saying ÒSlop
outÓ. This meant we had to get up, make up our beds, and empty the urinal pot.
We then could get hot water for a wash in a jug for a shave and return to our
cell. A razor blade was issued and collected after and then we were banged up
until breakfast.
At breakfast time we were
unlocked and had to line up in single file to collect our food. This was served
up on a specially shaped metal tray, which was recessed in three places to
retain the food.
A typical breakfast would be
a scoop of porridge, four slices of bread, a knob of margarine, a sausage or
piece of bacon with beans and a large mug of tea.
The bread dipped in porridge
became one of my favourite meals but on one occasion this practice of dipping
bread in my porridge offended one inmate (when I was in Dover Borstal) he
expressed he though what I was doing was a disgusting habit. I just ignored him
with contempt.
One of the ways we past
time, when locked up in the cell, was to play ÒBlind Mans BuffÓ. One of us
would be blindfolded whilst the other two crept about and hid from the other
while the blind man tried to catch the others. There were all sorts of places
to hide in such a small cell. We enjoyed this game we would jump from bed to bed
which made the game that much more fun.
During this time I found
time killing boring so I tried to read one ore two books. The books I found I
could read were James Bond as these were about my level and the Beano and Dandy
comics any other reading would be too difficult to me.
On the days we were not
working, each morning and afternoon we were given exercise. This involved all
the inmates walking as a body, around the prison yard. No doubt each prisoner
looked at the high walls and every building for a possible way to escape.
During this time we could talk with whom we pleased, those that attempted an
escape were made to wear yellow patches so they could be spotted easily. These
times became a time of communication and formed the prison grape vine.
On one occasion I decided to
change my hairstyle. So during the wash period my brother removed the safety
edge from the Government Issue razor and was able to shave my head. It was much
easier to wash in the mornings with no hair and much fresher. However I had gone
against the prison rules and was put on a Governors Report and put in solitary
confinement for a period of time.
At the meal time it cause an
amusing stir and I was to get laughed at when one of the cooks slapped a
handful of strawberry jam on my baldhead. After this when my hair grew a little
I was able to razor a parting in my hair, which was really the beginning of the
hair fashions for the skin head.
I could not help but notice
the various characters and the first points of conversation were ÒWhat sentence
had you got and what was your crime or crimesÓ. After this an inquiry would be
made as to your previous convictions and prison sentencing.
Our time at Canterbury came
to and end when my brother was found guilty and was sentence to two years
prison at the Kent Crown Court.
I was a witness at his trial
and was detained in the cells below the courtroom. When my brother was brought
below, handcuffed to a prison officer, I was shocked and disappointed that he
had been found guilty. In fact all our plans had come to nothing and I was to
do a stretch in Borstal. He was
found guilty of malicious wounding as well and sentenced to 2-year prison.
On that occasion my mother
was not allowed to see either of us and we were taken from the cells in Kent
back to Canterbury prison that dark wet night. As we approached the prison gate
I saw my mum with tears in her eyes out side the prison gate. We both waved and
motioned to the prison officer to say she had come to see us and his reaction
was, ÒSo what, she canÕt see you because you are now prisonersÓ. She had not
got a visiting permit. She had travelled from Kent to Canterbury late that
night to try and see us but she was rejected. From that time on we hated that
prison officer called Titmouse. He was about 6 foot 7 inches tall. My brother,
weeks later, after we were separated laid into this screw because of the hate.
He head butted him (nutted) and of course was on a governorÕs report and put in
solitary confinement. This I heard through the grape vine when I was at Wormwood
scrubs awaiting my allocation to Dover Borstal.
I was moved from Canterbury
Prison to Wormwood Scrubs in London, which was a Borstal Allocation Centre.
After a period of four weeks it was decided I was to go to Dover Borstal. A
closed Borstal called the Citadel.
For the first time I was on
my own and was moved from one cell to another having to share some times with
others. I did not really enjoy things here, as it was lonely being on my own.
We were allowed to go to
church on a Sunday, which I did to break the monotony. However I remember being
horrified by the fact that one inmate tore a page out of the bible to role a
cigarette. This was probably the first sense of me acknowledging the existence
of God.
When at Dover Borstal I was
placed in an open dormitory with five other lads. Here I had to learn to
survive. There was a 6 foot 6 inch Lad nicked named Tee oh who was bullied
mercilessly by a 5 foot 6 spectacled, bottle job, called Vince Bowker. I saw
this bullying the moment I arrived and Tee oh was made to do this, does that
and he would say yes Vince, no Vince and so one hoping get off lightly. In the
end Tee ooh turned and lashed out on Vice Bowker and that put stopped to that.
I was determined I was not going to let that happen to me. I stood my own
ground whenever I sensed any one try to bully me.
I was in fact nick named
Flash Clarke because I had all kinds of goodies like, cocoa, coffee, milk and
sugar and even Ovaltine and had one of the senior green ties make me valentine
in the morning.
One bully, 6 footer, was
moved into our dormitory because he had mercilessly bullied another inmate. We
got on well until I tied his shoelaces together one morning for a joke but he didnÕt
see it that way. When he realised it was me he threw these tied shoes at me in
anger and this gave me a black eye. As he came at me to hit me I was quick
enough to hit him on the jaw, bringing him down to the ground. After that he
kept out of my way and the screw that could see my black eye ignored it. I
think they must have known how to deal with bullies.
Whilst at Dover I went on a
six months training course, doing Electrical Installations and I worked really
hard obtaining top marks every week.
I use to be rewarded half an
ounce of tobacco for coming top of the class and I traded this with an inmate
for his ration of milk, each morning, and cornflakes and an egg each Sunday.
We had to attend
church on a Sunday and were would be marched to church in whatever the weather.
We would have to be dressed in our best gear after Sunday morning inspection. I
can remember I had no sense of respect for God or anything like that. In fact
when the vicar A Rev. Whally took us for talks before we were to leave Borstal
I can remember ridiculing him in front of all the inmates. I thought it was a huge
joke.
Whilst serving my time in
Borstal I was served with a summoned to appear in court to answer a paternity
suit. A former girl friend was pregnant and I presume the Social Services had
made her declare whom the father of the child was, in order to get the finances,
but I am not sure as I never spoke to her about it. In fact I do not remember
knowing any thing about it until I had to appear in court. The first time in
court I admitted I was the father because I could have been, even though I knew
she had been with other men. At the time I was ordered to pay maintenance out
of my three shillings and six pence a week, at the rate of one shilling and
three pence per week. I had not idea of the serious nature of being a father or
bringing up children or any idea of taking responsibility for my actions.
My mother how ever was very
anxious and after listening to the evidence given by the girl, she maintained
it was not possible for me to be the father, as the timing of the events did
not fit. She encouraged me to appeal and she really fought the case for me.
This I did and with the aid of a Solicitor the girl had to prove I was the
father of the child. When I look back it must have been humiliating for the
girl because she had to explain, when and where, these events took place. My
defence solicitor asked where the event or events took place. With incredulity
he questioned her how could things take place in a bubble car, in the daylight.
This I think on reflection was humiliating for her.
My probation officer asked
me many years later, when I became a Christian and had to appear in court over
my confessions to many crimes, ÒWas
I the father of the childÓ; I replied I might have been.
The child was called David
and my mother sayÕs he had ginger hair. She had seen him out with his mother in
Aylesbury whilst I was still in Borstal. He must be around 33 years old now.
I met all kinds of lads in
Borstal, car thieves, burglars, forgers, and gamblers. None of us had any idea
for the reason of our existence but were probably looking for the best in life,
never finding it.
When I was released I was
determined to have a good time. I wanted the best cloths, a good car, a
speedboat, and a caravan. You name it I wanted all these things and intended to
obtain them by one means or another. I had learned many criminal ways and had
no intention going straight. I just had no intention of getting caught at any
crime that I may choose to be involved in.
I was released a year later
and it was during this time I began to get into all kinds of things in
Aylesbury.
I bought my first real car
for £100 when I came out of Borstal. It was a gold mini 850 cc.
I decided to visit my
brother who was now in Maidstone Prison and I went to see him when I could.
Whilst he was there he met a man from Cyprus who told him some fantastic story,
which we both believed. We had ideas of being involved in gold smuggling.
It led to my brother
absconding from prison and being on the run from the law for a year. The
Cypriot was offering us the opportunity to make money by smuggling gold. The
idea was we had to pretend to be just married, we would have a suitable partner
and we would carry the gold strapped under our cloths making out we were newly
weds. This would reduce the chances of being stopped by customs and so get the
gold through. We were prepared to take the risk. It sounded exciting and that
was what I wanted.
The plan was that when my
brother was released on home leave we would go to Greece. We had to a contact in London all set up
by the Greek man and take it from there. We were all hyped up but the was no
such person or arrangements and we felt really let down.
However my brother decided
he could not face going back to prison so he just did not return. He changed
his name to Kenny and managed to stay away from the police for a whole year
before being picked up whilst working on a building sit in Aylesbury.
At this time I was doing a
Government training course in Enfield Middlesex and so my Brother got some work
with a shop filling company and worked in London. He decided he would live
above the shop, which was near Kings Cross, where they were working and so I
was able visit him during the week.
For a bit of fun one morning
we decided to go to the cafe down the road, dressing in our pyjamas and
dressing gowns, brining with us our own cornflakes. We went into the shop and
asked fore breakfast bowls and milk and sugar. This seems a funny thing to do
and it all went down well.
Michael soon got fed up
being there on his own so he decided he was leaving. So one night we took all
the companies tools and equipment and returned to Aylesbury where our parents
lived.
During this time I renewed
friendship with Pat Jones and we did many things together. My brother had got a
girlfriend now but I was seeking to have a good time.
On one occasion I showed Pat
Jones the powerful effect of chloroform and knocked him out so he was
unconscious. Moved by my strange sense of humour I cut several chunks of hair
from his head and when he came too he had no idea what I had done. I found it a
great fun when I took him home and saw his mother's face. Of course he had no
idea what she was upset about. I just left and got out of the way laughing to
my self.
It was after this that Pat
Jones got the first skinhead hair cut in Aylesbury. No one would normally cut
all their hair off; it just was not the fashion at that time. He did it and I
was proud of him. I am sure he set the trend of the Skinhead fashion.
On one bank holiday weekend
in 1969, when I was working for Radio Rentals at Hemel Hempstead, Pat Jones and
I decided to go to Yarmouth and meet with the Aylesbury Mods and skinheads.
I took my firms Ford van
so we could sleep in it at night. On this particular weekend I was sleeping in
the back of the van on that Sunday afternoon and Pat Jones was out with some of
the lads. They had a run in with a crowd of Greasers.
Greasers were motor bikers
who would fight with knives and motorbike chains. It was a very similar to the
Mods and rockers movie you see in the film Quadrophenia. They were the sworn enemies of
skinheads.
This company of Greasers
had come across Pat Jones and his crowd when out on the sea front in Yarmouth
and they were combing the area for skinheads to pick a fight with. There were
too many of them and Pat Jones and the crowd were on the run and I was happily
asleep in the back of the van quite safe. Or I would have been had not Pat
Jones come running up to the van shouting and screaming to get out and run or
do some thing. He ran off just having just called attention to these
Greasers. As I looked up and came
too and looked out of the van window I could see a crowd of Greasers grinning
and running towards the van. They knew they now had a victim in a white Ford
van. I was concerned it was the firms van so had to get away. There wasnÕt much
I could do so I locked the doors quickly and jumped into the driver's seat
hoping to drive. Unfortunately I was awkwardly parked. As I tried to start the engine
a great whack came from the roof of the van. The van was hit a number of times
with motorbike chains and I heard shouts of glee. Then they began to rock the
van seeking to turn it over. They lifted it and rocked it as I tried to drive
forward then backwards. I must have hit one or two as I managed to get away in
time for a beating. That was all thanks to Pat Jones.
This how ever was all part
of our fun getting into scrapes of one kind or another. On the way home that
week end we decided to tow a four wheeled bike back to Aylesbury, so I got Pat
Jones to ride the bike whilst we towed this bike all the way from Yarmouth to
the outskirts of Norwich, before deciding to lead it outside a pub as I began
to realise we would be captured by the police going through London. I was all
good fun though and it made us laugh.
It was the summer of 1968,
shortly after my brother had been released from prison and I had served time in
Borstal. We had decided to go on a
holiday. He had become friendly with a girl called Karen Mead but that did not
stop our plans. We were going to go off with no plans to return. My brother had
a nice red Bedford, long, wheel base van. This was fitted out with out
equipment to live and we fitted a double mattress on the roof with a tarpaulin
like tent. This was to be our sleeping arrangements. It was decided we would
make our way to Newquay in Cornwall as I remembered going there with my parents
when I was 16 years old. That year the sun was hot, the surfing was good and a
really nice summer. We were off to seek the sun.
Our first mischief that we
planned but fail to do was the stealing of a speedboat moored in the water at
Barnstable. That evening we had planned to swim out to the boat and cut its
moorings and float it down river to load on a trailer. It was later that
afternoon that we borrowed tools from a workshop and got some welding done and
made a tow bar for the van. We
needed a tow hitch to drive away with the stolen speedboat and trailer that
night.
All went to plan until
that night when we got the trailer ready but when we looked at the cold dark
water, it being pitch black, we both lost out bottle and decided to call it
off. We left Barnstable disappointed.
Our first bit of work,
which we did, was to work in ÒThe Gull Rock HotelÓ in Newquay. I was a waiter
and my brother was a kitchen porter. I had never been a waiter before but soon
picked it up. We were given sleeping quarters but we soon realised this kind of
work and life was not what we wanted. The hours were unsociable. So the next
morning we decided not to go to work just stay in bead. We made a huge joke of
it and expected to get the sack.
Sure enough we were
knocked up when it was realised we were late but still we did not surface. When
we decided to get up we went to the chef believing we had got the sack and so
to collect or pay. To my surprise they hadnÕt sacked us but had just thought we
had too much to drink the night before and were prepared to over look the sleep
in. I said no we would leave and we each got the £1 each we had earned for the
day's work.
In or mischief we went
back to the sleeping quarters the next day where the girls were sleeping and
jumped into bed with two of the girls. They didnÕt want this really and made a
bit of a protest but before we left the manager's wife had been informed and
came to see what was happening. As she came into the bedroom we were seen in
bed with Angela, the chambermaid. The manageress screamed, ÒOh Angela how could
youÓ. The girl got the sack and I felt really bad about that afterwards.
Shortly after this we decided
to rob a petrol station to get some money. My brother tried to disguise him
self by wearing a long girls wig but this made him stand out even more because
he was flat chested and had no hips like a woman and this attracted attention
rather that do the opposite. That was discarded so I decided I would take the
money. When the attendant was looking after a motorist I crept up to the till
and took the notes and ran away behind some building. Then quickly dressed in
an old overall coat and then walked slowly away with being noticed.
In the end I noticed my
brother writing to his girl friend and somehow we decided to return home.
After this I began to
spend time with Pat Jones as my brother got more involved with his girl friend.
Pat Jones and I got into all kinds of things, which I will mention later on. I
was 20 years old and he was just 16 years so he began to learn many things off me,
all which was probably bad for him.
It was after this I
managed to get a job with Radio Rentals in Hemel Hempstead.
This was a
good job and at 20 years old I was the only Colour TV Engineer in the Hemel
Hempstead branch and with a company car.
About this time we went on
a sailing trip to Shoreham near Brighton. This weekend we were invited to go
sailing with Ken and Grace Knight. I took Mary Bilton a girl friend of mine,
Bernie Gilbert and Alison Knight. Whilst we were there Mrs Knight went off to
stay with a Christian friend in Brighton. Not that I knew that at the time I
just thought she did not like sailing and it was a Sunday and she wanted to go
to church.
We were all invited back
to this Christian mans home he was called Tom and was a manager of an insurance
company in Brighton. This afternoon
he sat and talked to us all about the bible. I was almost convinced by his talk
and began to believe there was more to the bible message than I had ever really
liked to admit before. He told us about the history of the Jews and all future
events. It was all foretold in the scripture. The history of Israel was recorded and
the return of the Jews to the land of Israel in 1967 was clearly a sign of the
last days.
I was very impressed at
what he said and began to tell my friends at college the next week all about
it. This made me try reading some parts in Deuteronomy about the curses, which
would come upon the Jews if they forsook Moses Law.
I have already mentioned
that I had no intention of finding a girlfriend for a relationship or
friendship. My only interest was for my sexual pleasure. That was all I looked
for. I soon found that I had gained the reputation, along with my brother, as
being a sex maniac. On one occasion however (and let any girl learn from this)
I was put in my place by a girl from Princess Risborough after I had I taken
her home and wanted to have my way with her. She calmly stated she was not going to allow
me to do as I wanted and asked why I did not respect girls and why not considers
her feelings and have a proper relationship with a girl. I was put in my place
and began to think she was right.
At this time Pat Jones was
in his final year at school and he informed me of a bully who would
relentlessly give him grief at school. The school was the Grange Secondary
Modern School in Aylesbury. The school I had attended until June 1966.
One day at the evening
youth club, held at the school, I decided we would sort this bully out so I
instructed Pat Ô BonesÓ to do as I said. I was dressed in my long Crombie over
coat, which my mum had altered for me, and inside I kept a large long rubber
torch, which was ideal for use as a cosh. Not too hard to break the skull and
not too soft to do no harm. Just about right to knock some one on the head and
possibly knock them out.
This was the plan. We were
to go to the youth club and search out this bully. The Grange youth club was
held behind the school buildings in some prefabricated buildings. It was early
evening and not too dark and a few people were around. Here we looked out for
the bully. I gave Pat Jones the large rubber torch and said to him when he sees
the bully he must call out to him, Ò Come hereÓ and walk towards him. When he
came right up close he was to shout at him the words, Ò I have had enough of
your nonsense and if you donÕt watch out I am going to set Dave Clarke on to
youÓ. He was then to point in the direction away from him so at to make him
turn around and sayÕ Ò look he is over thereÓ. When he turned around he was to
hit him on the head, as hard as he could with the torch. Then say, Ò Now I am
going to do it again and roar at him.
The plan went perfectly.
We saw the bully, dressed in a blue Denim Jean jacket, and had slight ginger
hair. I am sure his nickname was Ginger. I had never met him before. Pat Jones shouted out to him and sure
enough the bully came walking like a gorilla with his arms swinging by his
side. Almost running to get at Pat Jones eager to get him. I was happy because
this was where he was going to get the treatment. Pat did exactly as
instructed. He said look over there and as he turned around Pat walloped this
bully hard on the head. Every eye was on the two in conflict. The bully was
stunned and his hands went up to his head to hold it as it hurt. Then Pat
shouted at him to say he was going to give it to him again and sure enough the bully
ran away as predicted. I encouraged Pat to chase after him to make sure he now
knew his place. Every one looking looked on in amazement.
From that day forward Pat
Jones had no more trouble from the bully. I felt quite satisfied in dealing
this way with the bully.
How would Jesus have us
deal with bullies today? This is a real problem to parents in a world of
violence like to day. I was not a Christian but this remedy actually worked in
Pat JonesÕs case.
Having experienced many
things in my life I began to think about life and its meaning. I could recall
the absolute emptiness of my soul after going out for the evening and one
evening when and returning home it thought about it. All was empty I asked
myself what was the point to it all. I was seeking an answer to life, the
universe and every thing.
The following is an account,
taken from memory and notes, made of my experience of conversion to Jesus
Christ on Friday the 16th of January 1970.
Towards the end of 1969 I
was continuing my studies at Luton College, learning Radio and Television
Servicing. We would often engage in discussions in class and it was quite easy
to divert our lecture onto subjects like spiritualism and the like. We would
discuss what we would do if another world war were to come. We would discuss the
future as portrayed by Nostradamus, drugs and our experience. At that time I
was informed of a new film called Easy Rider and I wanted to see it. On one
occasion I obtained some hashish, mixed with opium, and smoked this during our
break from class. This was so effectual I made use of the sick room to sleep
and enjoy the illusionary effects of the drug, which amused my student friends.
On a later occasion in
January, 1970 I had obtained 4 tablets of LSD from a Peter Coppenhall, a friend
from Bedford, he was also one of my fellow students at Luton College. I decided
to take these tablets the following Friday night.
On this Friday, the 16th of
January, my brother and I decided to take half a tablet each and Pat Jones had
a quarter. He was a close friend of mine (he was only just 16 years old) and
for some time I use to think of him as my apprentice. I taught him all my bad
ways. There was little we did not do together. I had known him whilst he was at
school and encouraged him in crime, sniffing chloroform, smoking (marijuana,
hashish, weed etc.) drunkenness, violence and permissive sex. He was known
amongst our friends as ÒBonesÓ, Patrick Bones.
My brother was going out
that night with his girl friend Karen Mead so Pat Jones and I decided to walk
up town and not risk driving for we did not know the effect of this drug. I was
dressed in my old clothes deliberately for I did not know what might happen too
us. We tried to thumb a lift but eventually caught a bus and got off at the
bottom of the High Street in Aylesbury. As we walked past the ÒpicturesÓ I
noticed the film ÒEasy RiderÓ was being shown so we decided to go and see it.
We decided to take some one else with us, some one who was in their right state
of mind, so we went up the billiard hall and found Bernie Gilbert and Mike
Ellis, but they said they would only come if they could have some acid as well.
I decided this was OK and so we got a taxi back to my house to get the rest of
the Acid. Bernie had half a tablet and Mike Ellis the other quarter. So all four
of us were about to trip on acid whilst watching the film Easy Rider. We
arrived back at the ÒpictureÓ about 8.45 PM and I fumbled a bit for my ticket
as the acid had begun to take effect. Bernie and Mike suggested we go and sit
up in the balcony but I thought to my self what if we decide to jump off? I was
tripping now and just followed them up stairs. We sat two in front and two
behind but Mike and BernieÕs trip had not yet begun as they acted and spoke
normally.
I did not realise how
tripped I was until the film had finished, in fact the film records Peter
Fonder and Dennis hopper actually on an LSD trip. During the film the acid had
taken me on a very pleasant trip in time with the music, it was almost as if
the film crew had deliberately filmed the film for me. They seamed to know how
to give the correct lighting and sound effects. How ever Bernie and Mike seemed
to be jumping about all over the place and it was irritating. I still was
sitting in my seat when all the film had finished and the people had gone,
before I decided there was nothing more to do. So we decided to get up and go
but Mike and Bernie were annoying me because they were mucking about.
All my thought and feelings
began to reverberate four times over and my thought patterns were being
reflected and at the same time building and snowballing.
We walked outside the cinema
and I said to the boys, ÒMan you are all on the wrong scene you canÕt be turned
onÓ. Then I heard Mike and Bernie say heÕs turned into a wizard (Hippie) and
there was a clubroom for wizards like me (The Dark Lantern Pub, in Aylesbury).
I then began a downward trip, which ended in the horrors. I began to feel
paranoid thinking they were now sorry for me and were being polite in hiding
their feelings from me.
As we went further up the
road Mike Ellis asked if I wanted a scrap with some blocks across the street.
It was as if he was testing me out to see if I was the same person he knew. I
said no I didnÕt. I thought they had thought I had gone mad and they wanted to test
me out. We went further up the high street and Bernie began to mess about and
pull faces at me and make noises. I hid in a shop door way and told him to stop
it and Pat Jones pulled Bernie away saying, donÕt do it as he didnÕt
understand. My horror began when I could not face the thought that they thought
I had cracked up and gone mad. This feeling was too much for me to bear. More
was to come.
We decided to go to the
Green Man pub (may be the crown) and as we were going in a chap came up to me
and spoke to me. I was out of my mind by now, with this feeling of paranoia, and
could not speak sensibly and I came out with a load of nonsense, so I had to
say quickly to this chap I was drunk because I didnÕt think he would understand
other wise.
I then saw my brother
sitting with his girl friend in the pub and I went up to him and told him what
was happening. He laughed and motioned to me saying he was going to wind me up
like a clockwork toy and he did. My mind began to distort so much so that I had
to run out of the pub to get away. Pat Jones followed me and I kept thinking
the others were following us. I kept looking back as I didnÕt want them
following me because they were annoying me. We left the Green Man and walked
towards Mount Street, via RockfordÕs Hill and along Friarage Road. On the way
down the road it seemed like a scene from a picture book and was like Alice in
Wonderland with all the street lamps lit up.
The torment of my mind had
grown so much that I could not bear the pain but I could not get rid of the
torment. Ken and Grace Knight lived at Mount Street so we I went down there
with no real aim. And as I arrived just outside their house Jock Macallion,
another friend of mine, was about to leave and drive off. I jumped in besides
him and told him about my situation. After telling him I was tripped out of my
mind I was thinking he would take me home and as I was about to ask him he
said, ÒDave you are a worried manÓ. I knew this and I now thought so did every
one else and being told that did not help me at all. My mind was about to blow
so I had to run again. I jumped out of the car and into 24 Mount Street where
Ken and Grace lived. I wanted to escape and so I told them my plight but I
could not explain to them what was happening to me. Grace Knight recalled she
thought I was in serious trouble and began to question me. This didnÕt help so
I had to say forcefully I must have peace so they took me out to the
summerhouse to lie down in peace.
No one seemed to understand
the torment of mind I was in and no one could help me at all. I told Mrs Knight
to leave me alone to work it out on my own and let me lie down alone. Then the
torment got worse. I knew it was only the LSD doing it but I could do nothing
about it. I would have to wait till it had taken its course. I thought it could
be 12 hours or so but to me each moment seemed like an eternity of torment and
I could not endure this any more. I lay down and tried to settle my mind by
thinking good thoughts and different things but my mind would not be controlled.
The thought came, Ò I may be driven to kill myself, to get rid of the painÓ,
but I was horrified at the thought and the more I tried to stop thinking like
this the more I thought about it. I looked around to see if there was a mirror
or glass in the room and wanted to get rid of it just in case I cut my throat
or wrists. I just did not know what to do I was at the end of my self. I
learned afterwards that I experienced paranoiac depression that night, which
drove me to despair.
In this condition it was
evident I could not help myself. My friends could not help me, my brother had
not helped, and so who could help? Mr and Mrs Knight couldnÕt help and I could
not help myself.
In this desperation it came
to me to call out to God for help. So I cried out calling on the Lords name
saying, ÒJesus please help meÓ. At that moment my mind went blank and his name
appeared in the imagination of my mind but the torments soon came back again. I
called out again and his name appeared twice and the happening repeated. I
called four times in all and his name appeared four times and formed a square
in complete emptiness.
I then began to feel
emotional and wept but I didnÕt know why and at that moment Mrs knight came to
the chalet door to see if she could help. It was then that a flood of guilt
overcame me. I was convicted of the
sin of adultery and did not know what to do. I beckoned Mrs Knight to come in
and I said to her did she realise how bad I was and what I had done. I asked
her to tell me the way what could I do. Mrs Knight had spoken to me about
Christian things and some how I knew she knew the way. Mrs Knight sat down and
quoted the scripture saying, Ò For God so loved the world that he gave his only
begotten son so that whosoever believeth on him should not perish but have
everlasting life.Ó (John 3 v 16).
It was then that Jesus spoke
to me, I heard his voice as clearly as I am writing this he said, ÒDave I am
with you, you have been searching for a long time, and this is what our Father
says. What you have been going through is nothing compared to what hell is likeÓ.
I replied with thanks saying thank you, Jesus thank you.
Mrs knight thought I was
speaking to her she and did not know what was going on.
It seemed that the words,
which Mrs Knight had spoken (the quoted scripture), were in fact the way out
and pathway to my escape. It appeared as though I was at the bottom of a
pyramid and the words were the way to the top and if I were to follow the words
I would escape. I replied thank you Jesus thank you.
I then thought of hell and
my thoughts were about Pat Jones, Bernie Gilbert and Mike Ellis and I said what
about the others. Jesus spoke again saying, Ò all I could do was tell themÓ.
I replied feeling it was an
impossible thing to do, how could I convince them, I asked, ÒWhat more could I
doÓ. I was feeling the agony of the LSD horrors and knew I wanted to warn my
friends of the hell to come. I reasoned within my self they would think I have
gone mad on LSD so how could I convince them, I wanted to do more than tell
them. I asked what more could I do.
To answer my question the
Lord took me back in time to show me all I could do was tell them. A number of
weeks earlier I had reason to read about the curses, which were to come on the
children of Israel, if they forsook their God. Deut. 28 v 53. ÒThou shall eat the
fruit of thine own body. (I knew nothing about the back ground to these things)
I thought it was saying people would be so hungry and having no food to eat and
a woman would be driven to eat her own after birth. Which of course was shocking.
With this in mind, these weeks earlier, I was trying to shock this girl at
work. I was working for Radio Rentals, as a Colour TV engineer and I said to
this receptionist how would she like to be so hungry to have to eat her own
after birth? She responded with expected repudiation, Ò How could you say such
a thing!Ó I simply said I hadnÕt said it but God had as found inn the bible. This
thing repulsed her and she did not want to know anything about what I was
saying (Not suppressing). However to this incident Jesus took me and asked me,
Ò What did the girl do when I spoke to herÓ? My answer was she shut her ears,
as she did not want to know. It was repulsive to her. His reply was to me that,
Ò if I tell people about Hell and what I had learned and they screw their faces
up and do not want to know I could do no more.Ó The condition of the person
listening is not my responsibility but theirs. All I could do was tell them. So
tell them I would.
To these questions Mrs
Knight thought I was asking her, because I was speaking aloud, but before she
could answer I had been answered directly from the Lord.
When Jesus stopped speaking
I felt as though I was falling back into my torment and I prayed again, ÒPlease
donÕt leave meÓ. My reply was, Ò I will never leave youÓ.
Jesus then questioned me and
asked me, ÒWhy boastÓ. This is because I was naturally prone to boasting
amongst my friends, just to make a good impression. I reason within myself and
now knew I had no need to boast of anything. So from that day I have always
avoided boasting.
My torment ceased from that
time and the rest of the night passed with various thoughts going through my
mind. I do not think Mrs Knight was fully aware of what had taken place.
The next day was Saturday and I was due in to work but
I decided to take the day off. I phone in briefly saying I was not up to work.
Pat Jones had spent the
night in the caravan, parked at the side of the KnightÕs home, together with
Paddy, who had no where else to live. We spent that day together and I told
them both of my experience. I assumed and expected them to fully understand and
see what had happened.
Instinctively things were
different with me. An internal change had come about and by it I had new
desires. I no longer wished to live as I had lived and wished to be rid of my
bad ways. No one told me I had to give up any particular way of life, I knew my
promiscuous ways were wrong and was determined not to give in to lust or my
high libido drive. I concluded masturbation was wrong because it involved
internal visualization of women and as Jesus had once said to look on another
woman with lust in the eye, was to commit adultery already. I believed that sex
before marriage was wrong, as the bible taught and from that night I abstained
from sexual activity until 1978, when I met my wife and married. This was a
real battle but I fought the good fight with all my might and with the help of
God succeeded. I found within me an internal desire to choose the good and
refuse the evil. Upon reflection I say this was the evidence of the new birth
and I later found this experience spoken of by the Lord Jesus Christ in JohnÕs
gospel. John 3. 16. Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily I say unto
thee, except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God. The Apostle
Paul also writes the same in Cor. 5 17. Therefore if any man be in Christ
Jesus, he is a new creature: old things are past away; behold all things are
become new.
I knew also there was a part
of me which was just the same and when I would do good evil was also present
with me. The Apostle Paul in Romans also expressed this. 7 21. I find then a
law that when I would do good evil is present with me.
Whilst this was my
experience I found it impossible to convey this to my friends even though I
tried ever so hard.
What
to do with stolen Goods
I had in my possession much
stolen property. In fact I had 100Õs of pounds worth of stolen property in my
possession. No longer was I prepared to live of the benefits of stolen goods.
What should I do? I had involved
others in my crime of stealing and these could not help me now. In fact Mike
West came to see me the next day and when he heard me explaining Jesus had spoken
to me he began to fear I might go to the police and confess my crimes. I did
not actually say to him I wanted him to return the TV set, which I had stolen
and swapped for his Citroen car but he was concerned, as he did not know what
to think.
Poor Mike he must have
panicked thinking I was about to go to the police, as he was concerned about some
of the stolen goods I had left in his garage. There was a stolen mini engine and
sub chassis. I donÕt remember what happen to these parts but I asked Mike to dispose
of them. I was later informed they had been dumped in the reservoir.
That Saturday evening both
Pat and I decided to go to the social club at Park Street.
This was the usual thing for
us to do on a Saturday night. I had determined to go and see my mates to
explain what had happened to me. We walked down there but did not go in. After
seeing one or two people I broke my news to them. I cannot remember what I
said. I had no desire to stay so went back to the KnightÕs home. My inclination
to live it up as normal was no longer with me. I now seemed at a loose end not
knowing what next to do. From that time forward Pat Jones began to realise
things had really changed for me.
The next day, being Sunday,
Mrs Knight took both Pat Jones and I to the local Baptist Church in Southcourt,
in the evening. I can distinctly remember the passage of scripture the preacher
spoke from. It was in Exodus where the whole nation of Israel was about to
enter the Promised Land. However they listened to the evil report of the 10
spies and did not take heed to the voice of the two good spies. Who gave
encouragement to go in and posses the land? I can remember also I saw, whether
he preached this of not, that this was a picture of the body of Christ, the
church, of that day.
After the meeting Mrs Knight introduced me to a Martin
White who gave me a copy of the New Testament, called the Good News for modern
man. I began to read this straight away. This I received gratefully and began
to read it every day.
I seek to tell others
The following days were
spent in the after glow and certainty of this new life that had opened up to
me. I thirsted for knowledge, the knowledge of God in Jesus Christ. I told the
folk at work about my experience and could not remain silent about the things I
was learning.
My evenings were spent at
Mrs Knights home discussing the scripture with some of her Christian friends.
Both Pat Jones and Paddy all seemed interested to hear.
I am now amazed at my own
ignorance then, for until I had read the scripture for my self I did not know
what the Acts of the Apostles meant. Within two weeks I had read the New
Testament and thought I understood it all.
I soon learned from the scripture that in the economy of Salvation it
was the blood of Jesus Christ, shed on the cross at Calvary that was the means
of me obtaining a free pardon for all my sins and also me being given free
righteousness to justify me before God.
In this respect the Lord
Jesus was a true substitute and he died for me without cost at all to me. These
were the things, which I learned and as it were drank in like water from the
well of salvation. I learned them by reading the scripture and did not know
them from the night Jesus spoke to me. I attended college that week but there
was a difference. I had decided I would not dress in my usual clothes. Levi
jeans, white boots with red toe caps (or whatever colour I chose to spray
them), a Ben Sherman shirt and loose leather jerkin I felt I must not only be
more sober but dress more sober as well i.e. not to show off as I us to do.
So I dressed in my best
trousers, which were from my Prince of Wales cheque suite, shirt and normal
pull over and normal shoes. Of course I had to tell all my friends about my
experience. I protested to them look I even dress differently. They did not
believe me. I told one of the lectures, Mr Jones, in front of them all but I
was just given a smile of wonder.
That same week I felt
constrained to go and tell my friend Rupert, a West Indian from Jamaica. He
lived in a room, at 14 Bicester Road, Aylesbury, so Pat Jones and I went to see
him. As soon as I met him I told him what had happened in front of his new girl
friend but RupertÕs reply was, Ò I told you Dave not to take LSD Ò. Again they
were none plus they could not believe even though I tried my best to convince
them.
What
does one do with stolen goods?
It was now wrong for me to
continue in the way of life that I had lived in the past. My back was now
turned from the world that I once held dear too and had built for myself. A
world of self-seeking (ones own glory) asserting self, stealing, adultery,
fornication, drug taking, drug selling, boasting, drunkenness, violence and
worldly ambition. I say worldly ambition because I believe we all have worldly
ambition but when we are converted and come to Christ we are called to forsake
it. We all have our own worlds that we live in, some have religious worlds to
turn from, some have ordinary lives and are part of the natural world but we
all must turn from our world to Christ and follow him.
I now had an inward and real
desire not to continue in those ways, which I have just mentioned for they just
perpetuated my former sinful self, of which I had had enough. A change of heart
had taken place. That is not to say I could not be tempted to find pleasure in
such sins there was a part of me still the same but I had a desire to put to
death sinful thoughts and actions. Should I allow wrong affections to move me I
was self-condemned with an accompanying self-abhorrence and I knew was not
pleasing to God. By the grace of God I was able to resist and fight against
sin.
I was now moved by a new set
of principles but herein lay a problem. I had erected a 48-foot by 12-foot
wooden, builderÕs shed, on waste ground belonging to the Water Board, next door
to the KnightÕs home, at 24 Mount Street. This became my garage and workshop. I
had stolen the builders shed from a building sight in Berkhampstead. I had
persuaded Mr Knight to drive his lorry whilst me, Pat Jones and Paddy, lifted
the shed panels from the building sight onto KenÕs lorry, late one night.
In this shed was my newly
acquired Citroen car, which had formally belonged to Mike West of Wendover. I
had swapped it for a colour TV that we had stolen from old peoples home called
Redlands, in Winslow. I had some lovely garage equipment which included a
trailer, ark welder, trolley jack, air compressor, spray guns, tools, speed
boat engines even a stolen car and various other items all of which by one
means or another I had stolen or burgled.
What
could or should I do now. I was responsible for all this stuff
Conscience would not permit
me to continue to make us of all this stolen gear. What should I do? Should I
just dispose of it all and brush the past behind me? How should I dispose of it
if I decide to do so? I could not sell the goods for what would I do with the
money. Conscience would not allow me to use it.
I had in fact so much stolen
property go through my hands, which had been disposed of by one means, or
another none of it could be recovered anyway. I had only just stolen a nice new
Mini car, which was about to be used to make me a lovely new car. The body had
been cut up and disposed of the parts were in my parent garage in Finmere
Crescent Aylesbury. (Whilst cutting up the body with the arc welder the
hydrolytic suspension fluid caught light and nearly burnt the car and garage to
pieces).
I had also another stolen
Morris Minor Traveller, which I had swapped the number plates and disposed of
the old body. This was and used as a hire car.
I think on reflection with
hindsight and the faith I now have in God I would have been able to act
differently than I did.
I was able during this time
to return one or two stolen items. Late one wet night in February 1972 Pat
Jones and I load the trolley jack into my firm van. I am not quite sure what
Pat Jones thought about all this but I drove up to the garage from where I had
originally stolen the trolley jack and parked on the forecourt. The garage had
been closed for the night (next to the Broad Leys on the Wendover Road,
Aylesbury) and whilst no one was about I opened the van door and swiftly and
quietly lifted the jack and placed it down on the forecourt. We then drove off
as fast as we could. I often wondered what did the owner think when it was
returned several months later.
I had no real advisers, nor
any one who really knew the depths of my crimes and the amount of acquired
stolen goods I had. I was faced with this problem what ever happens to me was
no real concern but I did not feel I could involve others and get them into
trouble.
Mike West was very fearful
in case I confessed all to the police and he must have been puzzled by what was
going on.
I had hoped he
would have offered me the colour TV back and I would have given him the Citroen
back but he wished to keep the Colour TV, so I gave him the Citroen. Any way a
I felt I could not use it.
Hippies in the Shed
Pat Jones began to acquire
new friends and some were what we called hippies. They smoked pot, took drugs
and generally did nothing but think about life etc. We invited them down to Mount
Street as I felt it would be right to speak to the about Jesus. About five or
six came and they ended up sleeping in the shed.
Whilst trying to speak the
gospel to them I saw no real effect so I was disappointed. Perhaps one day I
will see some fruit. I felt it OK to use the shed to house the hippies. About
six lived in the shed for a number of weeks until they moved on. I thought I was putting it to good use.
My problems were solved by
an intervention of God and his hand was clearly seen by all one year later.
It came by the knock this is
the knock on the door from the CID when I was arrested for steeling the colour
TV set from ÒRedlandsÓ old peoples home in Winslow. This is where I began at
the introduction to this story.
During the first few weeks
after my conversion to Christ in February 1970, which I would like to describe
as my new life, there was a series of meetings held at Limes Avenue Baptist
Church. The person speaking was a Mr Lance Pibworth from Bedford, and a girl
called Geraldine Dunbar was being baptised. It was to this girl that I was later engaged
to be married to.
After the meeting a man
informed the congregation that if any one wanted to talk about any thing, or
ask questions about what had taken place, they could stay behind and ask. On this occasion I had brought Pat Jones
and Paddy along to the meeting and I was dressed in my overalls and leather
jacket, which I always wore when working on cars - I wasnÕt dressed up at all
and was aware that because of the way I was dressed we may not be taken
seriously. However I knew that God did not look on the outward appearance even
though man may do so. Any way it did not bother me that we were not dressed for
the occasion. I asked to see the minister Mr Sibthorpe after the meeting and we
three were invited into his study. I explained to Mr Sibthorpe about my
conversion and wanted him to confirm to my friends that what I was saying to
them was true. I expected him to baptise me there and then. I was under the
impression, from reading the scripture, that any minister or Christian, was
under the direct command of Christ to baptise any new believer as soon as they
believed. I was very disappointed that I was not baptised that night. I knew nothing of church membership,
modes of baptism, doctrinal distinctions and the like, only that I wanted to be
baptised.
Shortly after this I met a
man called Charley Tweedy, of the Church of Christ, which met at Stoke
Mandeville Road, Aylesbury. He maintained that unless you are baptised you
couldnÕt be saved. He held some kind of responsible position in this Church so
I explained to him about my conversion and he gave me his telephone number to
ring him if I needed help. I knew he was wrong about baptism but felt constrained
to speak to him as I reasoned according to him, that ''I shall be damned if I died that day,
as I am not baptisedÓ. I felt the need to reassure him that this was not the
case and he need not worry about me.
When I spoke to him on the telephone he seemed nonplussed, but not moved
with concern that I was not yet baptised.
Again I was disappointed. This was just one of the many examples of
doctrinal errors in the Christian world that I was to encounter.
I had not been accustomed
to go to any particular church but I went to a Sunday night meeting with Mrs
Knight to the Assemblies of God, Pentecostal Church, meeting at RichfordÕs Hill
and Pastor Baker was the minister. Here I was received without any question and
he made me feel welcome. This was also the church, which Cyril Bryant attended. He was the man who had written on my
behalf to the Magistrates Court.
On one occasion at this
church meeting I was asked to give an up- to -date testimony as to the Lords
dealings with me. So dressed as I was, in my working cloths (overalls), not
knowing the difference between working days or Sabbath days, I went to the
front and gave a clear and detailed account as to how I had combated the
devil's suggestion to steal a car battery that week.
Bugger off Satan
I had some trouble with my
car battery and I needed a new one. The temptation was enormous. Here I was passing AdamÕs Garage, on the
Tring Road, in need of a car battery and just over the fence, belonging to the
garage, were several car batteries. All I had to do was nip over the fence and
help my self to a nice new battery. This was the way I had thought in the past
and I would have done just that at one time. This kind of thinking was the old man,
which I had to continually combat and I knew Satan had a hand in this matter.
To avoid this temptation I rebuked the devil and told him to clear off, in
Jesus name. On that occasion I told them the exact language I had used to the
devil. I said to the devil, ÒBugger off SatanÓ. I was quite unaware of the bad
language that I had used and several years later Barry Crown reminded me that Cyril
Bryan gently reproving me for my speech on that day. I did not know that I had
said any thing amiss and was unaware that I had even been reproved for using
bad language on that occasion. I donÕt think I knew what the word meant any
way.
I am baptized
I knew from the Scripture
that I should be baptised and I expected Pastor Baker, of the Assemblies of God
Church, to command me to be baptised. I knew this was the command of Jesus and
it signified the new birth, which I had already experienced. It also symbolised
my union with the Lord Jesus Christ in his death and his resurrection. The
truth was that through his death I was to reckon myself dead to sin and my
former sinful ways, and that by his resurrection I was to reckon myself risen
to the newness of life, which is in him. No one spoke to me about being
baptised.
At that time, shortly
after the Limes Avenue meetings, I was taken to another group of Christians,
meeting at Fleet Street, in Aylesbury. They met in a large shed. These were
West Indians and the Pastor was Mr Bruce, from Luton. This group also were
having a series of meetings leading up to baptism. I heard they had permission
to use the baptistery at Limes Avenue Baptist Church, so I asked Pastor Bruce
to baptise me. He said he would and asked me to attend baptism classes that
week held at his meeting hall, along with other people who were being baptised
I did not know what this
was all about but presumed it was to make sure the person being baptised knew
what it was all about. I was not told that after the baptism I was expected to
join the church that met in Fleet Street.
I was baptised (dipped or
immersed) upon the confession of my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, early one
Sunday morning, at 7.00 a.m., at Limes Avenue Baptist Church. My friends turned
up, Pat Jones, Paddy, Paul Brooks, Mrs Knight and Mrs Chapski. Pastor Bruce baptised me in the name of
the Father, Son and Holy Ghost, according to the command of our Lord Jesus
Christ. Matth. 28. 19.
I say this because I had
met some who were teaching that baptism was only valid if it was administered
in the name of Jesus. The reason is that they say the name of the Father is
Jesus and the name of the Son is Jesus and the name of the Holy Spirit is
Jesus. Gordon Smith of Albert
Street informed me of this and said that some considered it was necessary to be
re baptised again in the name of Jesus only and that all other baptisms were
invalid. Their reasoning and their
stress upon the singular name of Jesus only, to the exclusion of the Father and
Spirit, did not impress me, for Jesus had commanded baptism to be performed in
the name of all three persons. This was just another doctrinal error I had encountered.
I
knew that as far as I could discern from Scripture a man could be dipped, ducked,
dragged, drenched, soaked, sprinkled or dribbled with 10 thousands of gallons
of water and it would make not a scrap of difference to his spiritual state.
Baptism could not effect the new birth, remove sin, or make a natural man into
a spiritual man, for that was the sole prerogative of Him that proceeded from
the Father and the Son and was sent by the Son. John 15. 26. The new birth
being the effect, not of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man but of
God alone. John 1. 13. Therefore Baptism itself could not save a sinner.
I soon realised there were
few churches in Aylesbury, which believed that Baptism in the Holy Spirit was a
distinct experience from being born again. I had no reason to doubts this and
took it as a truth revealed in the Scripture.
I had no problem with
this, as that was how I had read the Bible. I actually felt I was baptised in
the Spirit when I first believed and when Jesus spoke to me the only thing I
seemed to lack was the speaking in tongues. This had not happened.
I remember speaking to Mr
Sibthorpe, the pastor of the Strict Baptist Church, at Limes Avenue, about
these things and he gave me an article that was written by John Stott who
denied the Baptism in the Spirit, as I knew it. I was amazed at the way these
people twisted and wriggled out of what God had plainly spoken about in the
bible.
I first began speaking in
tongues in my sleep. I had a dream and saw people worshipping the Devil as he
sat on a throne, in the midst of a fire. These people were over the other side
of a wall. I was so moved with indignation, like David who heard that Goliath had
defied the armies of the living God; in my dream I jumped over the wall and
commanded them to stop what they were doing, in the name of the Lord. The devil
then looked at me in anger and came towards me. I then was frightened. I cannot
remember the outcome of this dream, or whether it was another meeting, but afterwards
I spoke in tongues and Pastor Baker, of the Assemblies of God Church, gave an
interpretation to what I had said. This happened in my dream.
It was shortly after this
Sunday, at the morning meeting at Rick fords Hill, that I was praying in a time
of open prayer and I felt free to pray and I gradually opened my mouth and it
all came out. I felt inside me that I was like a can of Coca-Cola that had been
shaken slightly and the ring pull, pulled. My tongue was loose and a flow of
words, in another tongue came forth. It came from the belly and over flowed out
of the mouth. I felt fulfilled and was praising God.
At that time I read as
much as I could because this experience was not recognised by any other group
of Christians, apart from the Elim Pentecostal Churches. The best book I read at that time was by
Derek Prince and called, ÒFrom Jordan to PentecostÓ. This gives a very clear
and biblical position about the Baptism in the Spirit.
Being converted unto
Christ was by no means an outward imposed principle. I was not under a set of
rules devised by man. I was not
under any kind of legal fear to serve God, or obey a rule, which says do this and you will be OK. There was
no rest in any form of doing good works. It was in fact the rule of faith. It
was to walk by faith, without which it was impossible to please God.
I was what the scripture describes, a
Ònew manÓ, with an inward desire to follow the Lord Jesus Christ. The Scripture
expressed this as God writing His laws upon the fleshly tablets of my heart.
Heb. 8. 10- 13.
I began to read the Bible
straight away; still ignorant of its contents and very soon the principle
points of the gospel became very clear to me. These were: the divine nature or deity of Jesus
Christ; hell was real just as heaven was sure; that Adam and Eve were real and
our first parents. I learned that through their fall we are all fallen
creatures and are in need of salvation. I learned about the need for the shed
blood of Jesus Christ to remove sin. I learned that salvation and the
forgiveness of sins were received by faith alone, without works done by us. We
were not under the Law of Moses, as the Jews were, but under Christ JesusÕ
rule. It was His law, the gospel of love and grace.
I can remember trying to
tell one of my friends about following Jesus, saying I didnÕt have to give up
any thing to become a Christian. I simply found I did not want to do certain
things any more. It was not difficult. This lad came up to me sometime after
this and I am sure he misunderstood me and in front of several other lads
said,'' isnÕt it right you donÕt have to give up any thing to be a Christian?ÕÕ
He was expecting my answer to be no, you can carry on just as you are. However
I said thatÕs right, you donÕt have to give up any thing except sin. This
silence him and I think they all got the point.
I learned that Gods way of
saving people was through the preaching of Christ and him crucified. I learned
that the new birth was a must. What
amazed me at that time was the apparent lack of zeal and knowledge of them that
had professed faith in Christ for a long time and that how these persons tended
to try and entertain people by means of music instead of preaching.
Every day was the Lords
day to me, as I awoke I was conscious of the presence of God, and when I slept,
yea even in my dreams. I knew of no distinctions of days such as holy days, or
the Sabbath day, for I knew these to be abolished, or fulfilled in Christ. Jesus Christ being the sum and substance
of all the Mosaic Sabbaths. He was the body that caused the shadow of Moses
Law. Col. 2 16-17.
On another occasion I was
attending the evangelical meetings at Fleet Street Pentecostal church when
there was an appeal for money to support the young musicians. The man making
the appeal was so moving I felt I ought to give all I could. I reached to my pocket and put in the
collection plate all I had. I was giving as unto the Lord. I was given to
believe it was for the Lords work and it was needed. I was happy to give.
Shortly after this the
same steward, who had collected the money, came back to me from the front of
the meeting hall speaking and motioning to me with the roll of notes in his
hand saying was I aware how much I had given. I said yes it was OK. It was
probably about £200 as I was still use to carrying that sort of money around
with me (1970).
Shortly after this, at
another meeting, there was a visiting evangelist called C D Gilbert preaching
and he too made similar moving appeals for money. I had also spoken to him
about the tattoo on my arm. His appeal for money came with a prophesy saying
the Lord had told him that each one had to go to their bank tomorrow and draw
10 per cent of all their money and give it to his fund the next day. It was
followed by another vision of an accident that was going to take place if it
was not done. At the same meeting he said there was someone in the there that
doubted God and they must get off their seat and come forward and if they did
not then another warning was issued. I knew because of our previous talk he had
me in mind. I also knew his prophecy and visions were not of God but generated
to control and manoeuvre people like witchcraft. I opposed this and would have
nothing to do with it.
I even went to Mr Eric
Connet and informed him that this type of talk and action was not genuine. Mr
Connet was a preacher at the church and had some influence to help correct
error.
I write this for the sake
of any that may feel similar pressure, from them who say they are directed by
God to require such things. I say that not all that is spoken in the name of
Jesus is of God.
The Lord loves the
cheerful giver. The Lord does not
need our money. He wants our heart.
All that we have is His when this is the case. We are stewards of all
that we own. I learned
that like the Sabbath there is no
Sabbath day, for every day is Sabbath, so with money there is no tithe of 10 per cent but all our
possessions are the Lords, not just 10 per cent.
I found it was my natural
desire to preach and speak about Jesus to who ever I could. I remember working on a car in Mount
Street one Sunday morning and a crowd of street kids, which I knew, were
playing around doing nothing. I was dressed in my overalls and leather jacket
and I suggested they come with me to church. I decided to take them to a former
Brethren Assembly called Granville Street Evangelical Church. I knew all these
lads and I realised we were all untidily dressed and that we may not be readily
accepted. I knew however the scripture which taught that when you are invited
to a meal, take the lowest seat or place in the room. I decide we should adopt
this principle so when we were into the hall, part way through the meeting, we
slipped in and I beckoned them all to sit down on the floor. This we did
without any noise. These lads were Paul Mitchell, Clifford Attlee (Tatty),
Michael Clarke and one or two others.
All the eyes of the
congregation seemed to be on me. The meeting was stopped and a man came up and
sure enough according to the scripture we were invited to sit on chairs towards
the front of the meeting room.
Later on in that meeting
they had what was called the breaking of bread. They were an open communion
church and their custom was to allow any believer to partake of the bread and
wine. As the bread and the cup passed by they could help them selves. This
bread and wine speaks of the death of Jesus till he comes again. On this
occasion however when the plate and cup came to our row it was passed by. We
were judged as ineligible. I felt upset at this, as the stewards had judged us
by an outward appearance and not as God judges. The problem, I suppose, was
that I did not dress as a Christian.
This was a problem to me
but I believed in God I knew that through the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ I
would be provided for.
I had been sacked from
Radio Rentals for stealing one of their colour Televisions from the old peoples
home, in Winslow. All I knew was how to fix televisions and I was qualified to
City and Guilds 148. I decided to take the first Job offered me through the
labour exchange; this was with a firm called Electroloid, in Aylesbury. I was
being employed as a wireman and on the interview the foreman, called Dennis,
asked why I had left my former job. I was determined to be honest so I
explained I had been dismissed for theft. At this he asked no more questions
and I was given the job. I was also able to negotiate for one day off, a week,
without pay so I could finish off my college course.
I soon acquired a good
knowledge of the equipment, which I wired up and began to read the circuit
diagrams. My knowledge was such that I was able to fault find and develop test
equipment.
Electroloid were a company
involved in making equipment for electro plating and the particular equipment I
was involved in was making was the controllers, for the automatic dipping of
parts which required plating. A microprocessor would now replace the whole
control unit.
I was soon asked to go out
on site and trace faults on installed equipment. After six months I had been
given the task of commissioning a controller in Southend. This involved doing
what ever was necessary to get the new equipment operative. I spent a week away
from home and successfully completed my task. I drew diagrams for the owner
explaining how to fix things, if things went wrong. The owner of the firm was
so pleased he invited me to apply for a job as their maintenance engineer.
However I declined the invitation, as I was not ready to leave Aylesbury as I
had just found Christian friends. On reflection I perhaps should have gone
after the job as I now realise Christians are all around not just in Aylesbury.
I began to get bored and
impatient when I wasnÕt trouble shooting, which lead me to act foolishly. I
began to experiment with charging lead acid car batteries and notice how the
gasses were emitted from the battery when charged at a high rate of charge.
During my tea break I decided I wanted to collect these Hydrogen Gasses, in a
very large plastic bag. The size of this bag would cover an overcoat or suit of
clothes. I then charged the battery at the rate of 50 A/H and soon the bag was
filled with gas. I thought what would happen if this ignited so decided on a
way to do it. I took two match heads and wrapped thin wire around them and then
connected this to two long pieced of insulated wire. I hid behind a large metal
cabinet and connected the wire to the car battery. This acted as the
detonation. The ÒBangÓ was so loud, the building shook and the whole factor stopped.
The foreman came looking to see what had happened. I was so embarrassed I came
out from behind the cabinet like a scolded dog with my tail between my legs.
The manager, called Tom, asked what was happening. Before he spoke my
conscience slew me if felt a fool and had dishonoured the Lord. I simple said
the hydrogen from the car battery had ignites but all was well. I told my work
college all about it when they returned from break. I laughed about it but
inwardly felt ashamed and had let Jesus down because I had acted foolishly.
Boredom, pride and
self-seeking became a snare to me and I soon began to joke and mess about at
work and I felt unclean.
At that time my brother
was out of work and Jock Macallion replacing windows on a council estate in
Richmondsworth, had offered us work. So hastily I handed my notice in and my
brother began to work together again. This work soon how ever came to an end
but we soon found work in a building site as carpenters. We were paid £10 a
day, which was good money and this, lasted a few weeks. One day on the site the
men laughed at me when I told them about the Lord Jesus Christ. It didnÕt
bother me but my brother, for the first time ever, stuck up for me and told
them what I was saying was true.
After this we decided we
would have to earn money at welding and spraying cars. I had the equipment and
know how so we hired a barn, in Little Horward, and set up in business. It was
cold at that time of the year in January and so we heated the workshop with an
oil-burning stove called a ÒSalamanderÓ. We were supposed to use heating oil or
paraffin but we used old engine oil.
This heater we called,
ÒSally the oil burning gooseÓ, because of the shape of the chimney. This was a
dangerous heater as I shall now relate and I believed God delivered me from a
catastrophe.
One day I had in the
workshop a Morgan sports car, which was in for re spray. It was worth a
£1000 (in 1972). I was working
alone preparing this car with old Sally burning away merrily but she began to
bubble and spit. This meant water was in the oil. Normally when this happened
we shut her down and re-lit her but on this occasion she would not have it. She
was so hot she erupted and oozed out gallons of hot engine oil, which flooded
the floor. This went up in flames. The flames leaped up to the ceiling burning
the polythene ceiling stretched across the rafters. The fumes and smoke and
heat were so terrific. I cannot describe the event and terror I found my self
in. What should I do? What could I do?
All Alone in the middle of a field, in a wooden barn with, a pool of
leaping flames just about to burn down the Barn and the Morgan car in side. My
heart immediately motioned my soul to seek direct help from God. I had done all
I could now I prayed aloud unto God for his intervention. I then left the barn
with my back to it and my eye fell on an old damp tarpaulin, big enough to
unfold and us as a fire blanket. In I went using the opened tarpaulin as a
blanket and threw it over the burning pool. The flames were put out and smoke
filled the place. The flames reappeared a few time but I soon put them out. God
had answered my prayer and the flames were put out. The barn was saved and our
equipment. Here God gave me the wisdom and courage and initiative to apply a
natural remedy to my dilemma. God had saved me yet again. Praise God.
About 15 minutes later
Mike West and his wife arrived and the knights for visit. They said I looked as
white as a sheet. No wonder so I explained all that had happened. From that
time Mr Knight inquired about getting insurance against such accidents but the
insurance company refuse it on the grounds it was too risky.
Shortly after this I decided
I would have to look for another kind of work.
I found a job advertised
in a national paper working as a faultfinder at the Pye TV factory at Fleet,
Lowestoft. This was in the summer of 1972. I decided to take the job. I moved
into a YMCA hostel leaving my home in Aylesbury and parents house. At the same
time Ken took a job at the same factory and both he and his wife moved to
Lowestoft for a short while. They eventually decided not to stay
I felt very lonely but
soon got involved in the Elim Pentecostal Church in the town. I visited the
local Christian bookshop and ordered a book called the Sovereignty of God by
Arthur Pink. It was soon made known amongst the young people that I was a
Calvinist because the mother, of one of the girls, served me in the shop. I
found this out one evening when I was attending a young peoples occasion and
the girl (about 20) said she thought I was a Calvinist, as I had bought this
book from the bookshop. She then asked me directly saying was I a Calvinist. I
said yes I believed in the sovereignty of God. She was the daughter of one of
the senior members of the Elim Church. Her response was YUK! And she turned around and walked away. I
certainly felt hostility then. I decided I would speak to the elders of the
church about some of the things I had learned but the idea of God choosing some
and leaving others was not received very well. The thought of Particular
Redemption was also rejected.
Whilst at the YMCA I
became very lonely and woke with a bad taste in my mouth. My mouth in fact
tasted like the inside of a zookeepers boot. This was a saying of Mike West. I
decided to treat my self and ended up very ill. I began to take Andrews liver
salts and at first this was very refreshing. It was so good I began to take it
all the time until one day at lunch I had stomach pains and when I tried to eat
a salad then pain increased intensely. This set off a reaction, which lasted
months and ended up me being treated for duodenal ulcers.
I remember speaking to one
the workers at the Lowestoft factory about Jesus Christ. I had told him all
have sinned and come short of Gods standard. He did not accept he was a sinner
as he had lived a good life and loved football. He asked me how going to a
football match could possibly be wrong, in the eyes of God and I gave a quick
retort saying the scriptures say, ÒGo not with a crowd to do evil.Ó I was
thinking of the football hooligans but at that he said I was ridiculous.
In the summer holiday I returned to Aylesbury and
decided to apply for a Job as a television service engineer in Tring and began
to attend the Pentecostal Holiness Church in Bierton.
When I arrived for the
interview it was said, by Mr Ward, the owner, the reason why I had got the job
was because I was on time exactly. I had not planned it that way; I just
arrived at that time. I started work on the 14th August 1972. With a
salary of £2000 per year. I was very thankful to God for His mercy to me.
I continued to work here
and go to college at Luton to obtain a further endorsement on my City and
Guilds Certificate in Colour TV Servicing.
None of the people working here had time for Christian things in fact I
was considered as less than nothing. I was ridiculed when I said, in the bible;
God mentioned there was a Synagogue of Satan. They also treated the apprentice
at a servant often humiliated him.
I work here for 2 years but was not particularly happy there. We always
closed for lunch and it was during that time I spent each day reading Dr John
Gill's, ÒA Body of Doctrinal and Practical DivinityÓ, which I found so helpful
and encouraging to read.
When I returned to
Aylesbury the summer of 1972 and got my job with C J Ward and Son. I attended
an opening service of the Pentecostal Holiness Church. A Rev. Gordon Hills was the preacher and
was the pastor of the High Wycombe, Elim Pentecostal Church.
There was a series of
meetings one-week and soon realised he too was a Calvinist as each night his
theme in preaching was one of the five points of Calvinism: Total depravity, Unconditional election, Limited
atonement, Irresistible grace,
and Perseverance of the saints. I
certainly felt encouraged and assumed Mr Harrison the minister of the Bierton
Pentecostal Holiness Church were in agreement with these truths. I last I felt
here was a place where truth and the Baptism in the Spirit went hand in hand. I
was so encouraged.
I began to attend as a
regular and got involved in the young people's work and very soon we had far to
many kids from of the street to deal with. I was hopeless at discipline and how
to control them. There was a wonderful opportunity but I found I was out of my
depth and did not cope. Not only that but no one else knew how to cope either
so the youth work was closed.
I was soon disappointed to
find out Mr Harrison had no Idea about Calvinism or Arminianism and when I
tentatively spoke to him about such issues he dismissed the whole subject as Òlittle
issues of doctrineÓ.
I began at that time to
question many things and realised how easy it would be to be deceived if we
were led by our feelings and not by the Word of God.
An example of this was
shown to me when the pastor Mr Harrison informed the church that the Lord had
shown him the bungalow, which he wanted him to have. This was in Windermere
Close in Aylesbury. He said he knew it was the Lords will because he had offered
the people a cut price and it was immediately accepted. This was the means,
which Mr Harrison knew it was the Lords will.
The next thing the church
was informed was that there were 17 clauses in the deed of purchase, which were
unacceptable, and therefore the Lord did not want Mr Harrison to the buy the
property. This was an example of what I mean, the Lord no more told Robert
Harrison to buy the bungalow than he did to refrain from buying it. I did not
feel or believe that was being led of the Holy Ghost.
Mr E.C. Connet was another
man whom I respected and he attended the Pentecostal Church at Bierton. One day
in conversation with him, about the things of God and what I was reading and
learning, he turned on me and said it was doctrinally wrong to say the
righteousness of Christ was imputed to us for our Justification. This was
because each one of us had to have a righteousness of our own. Jesus had his
own righteousness for himself and we too needed our own righteousness.
I was shocked and on every
occasion I could I sought to reason with him from scripture that what I spoke
about was true I argued from the scripture that said, ÒAs in Adam all die so in
Christ shall all be made aliveÓ. That as the sin and guilt of Adam (note: not
the sin of Eve) that brought about the imputation and guilt of sin to the whole
of humanity so the righteousness of Jesus - his life and death, brought about a
righteousness that was imputed to all that believe. On this account only do we
have a right standing with God?
One Sunday morning he
turned on me in anger and said all I did was talk about doctrine and never
about the Lord.
I felt so wounded I just did not know what to do as
I had always looked to this man for support and help. And I groaned in spirit
feeling so alone in this situation. I wondered how should I handle this.
I was now unsettled at the
Pentecostal Church over a few issues that I did not know how to deal with. When
explaining to the minister, Mr Harrison, that I wanted to leave because they
did not teach the doctrines of grace.
He said I ought not to leave because of a little bit of doctrine being
different. I found the issue with Mr E.C. Connet serious because he did not
believe or teach that righteousness of the Lord Jesus Christ was imputed to us
for our Justification. Although he had been a help to me he was one of the
teachers in the church. Mr Harrison
said he believe in the total depravity of man (not that he used these words) he
said that there must have been a little bit of good, though ever so small in us
for God to love us and want to save us.
I knew that God set his love upon us and we had need of mercy and there
was no good thing in us to recommend us to God. I also found the issue of being led by
feelings rather that the Word of God very awkward.
About this time a friend
who lived in Wendover, Mr Alan Benning, informed me that the Strict and
Particular Baptist Church at Bierton, believed the doctrines of grace and that
a Mr J Hill, a Gospel Standard minister
(of Luton Ebenezer Church) was engaged to preach on an anniversary
service, in the near future. I was
keen to hear him preach. So I began to attend their weeknight prayer meeting.
My hopes had been raised
that I would hear the truth about Gods free sovereign grace for it was reported
that Mr Hill was a Gospel Standard minister. I was given to believe I would
hear those truths preached that were taught by William Huntington, William
Gadsby and John Kershaw. I had read their autobiographies and found their
writing very helpful and encouraging as they gave all the praise glory to Jesus
Christ the Lord and not to man.
I was convinced the Word
of God was infallible and the only rule of conduct and religious practice. I believed
the scripture taught us of a sovereign true and living God. That though God be
one God, the only self existent being, one in essence and nature, there
subsists in the divine essence three divine persons; The Father, Son and Holy
Ghost. Each person being truly and properly God by nature and that from all
eternity. The divine nature being not divided but one essence. Each divine
person possessing the whole of the divine essence.
I believed the scripture
taught the Lord Jesus Christ is that only begotten son of the Father, full of
grace and truth, the only saviour of (Gods elect) whom were all lost
sinners.
He is one person yet
having two natures, a human and divine. As the eternal Son of God the Father,
from all eternity, the divine Son of the Father, so by nature truly God. Yet at
the incarnation he took to himself that which he was not; our human nature and
so was truly man. Hence the glorious complex person of Jesus Christ is the
Christ that should come into the world to save sinners. His glory being veiled
during his time of humiliation.
I believed this same Jesus
had called me by his grace directly and made him self-known to me outside of
the circles of any Christian church. It was he whom I sought and believed in
when I went and hear Mr Hill preach, at the Bierton Anniversary Service.
Mr Hill preached the
distinguishing doctrines of grace very clearly. At that time I did not know
many preachers preach these things except I had heard Dr Ian Paisley on a
record and that sermon was called ÒSecond mile religionÓ.
I had also heard Dr Martin
Lloyds Jones but he seamed not to emphasis the distinguishing doctrines of
Grace although it was evident he believed in the sovereignty of God.
The churches I had attended until this time around
Aylesbury and district appeared to only know of Arminianism doctrine and held
to a false doctrine of universal love towards all mankind and a general
atonement distant from particular redemption.
I continued to work for C
J Ward and son until I was made redundant during the period of the three-day
week in 1974. The letter came to me dated 8th Feb 1974. I was at
home at the time of receiving this letter and its date was significant to
me. I realised I was now
unemployed. When I looked at the date I took courage, which helped fight the
haunting fears of not being able to get a job because of my past criminal
record. The Judge Col. Tetley, at the Aylesbury Magistrates Court, had given me
a conditional discharge lasting for three years. . This was on 9th February
1971. In other words my three years
(three years to the day) was up.
CJ Ward & Son, 72 Western Road, Tring
8th
February 1974
Dear David,
It is with deep distress
the due to the present day economic position I greatly regret that we have to
terminate you employment as from today week.
Rest assured this has no
adverse reflection on your work or you present unfortunate illness, and will be
more than pleased to give you any reference, which may be of help to you.
Should the economic
position improve I would be pleased to consider any application you may wish to
make at any time, and always pleased to see or help in any way possible.
Yours Sincerely,
C. J. Ward.
Enclosed
P.45 and N.I. Card.
Please
note we have sent off your National Health certificate and have not deducted
any money from this on next weekÕs remuneration.
The
following reference was enclosed
To whom it may concern
Mr David Clarke has been
in our employ since August 1972 and has always proved himself to be
industrious, courteous, and efficient and a reliable worker whom we have been
pleased to have on our Staff. Since being with us he has taken advantage of Day
College to obtain his City and Guilds endorsement, to add to his previous
knowledge and certificates. We can thoroughly recommend him for any similar
position and wish him well in such. We regret that the present government and
country unrest and economic position led us, with great regret, to dispense
with his services.
CJ Ward.
I felt so encouraged by
the date of the letter as it was 3 years to the day since I was given the
conditional discharge from my Court case after the confession of my 24
crimes. Remember I was
conditionally discharged on the 9th February 1971. It was as though my God and
Father were saying to me donÕt worry I would take care of you. I could now look
for work knowing and feeling I was free with a clean sheet to start from.
I started work for Granada
TV Rentals Ltd. On 25/2/1974, being paid £37.27 per week. With a company car
and £3.72 per week as vehicle allowance.
David at Granada TV Rentals
Michael Nicholson left, Phil Reason middle, Tony
Burnham and Mrs Royce-Taylor
I found working for
Granada a fresh breath of air and got on real well. And within 6 months I was
promoted to workshop manager finding the work very challenging and rewarding.
The only problem was I worked too hard and was inefficient.
It was during this time I
contacted Michael, of C J Ward, asking him if he wanted a job with Granada. He
was the apprentice of C J Ward and whilst working for them he told me he wanted
to leave as soon as he could. He was fed up with being treated second rate. He
hated having to stub out the cigarette ends of John Ward in an ashtray. John
Ward was the son of the Boss.
He came to Granada, past
all the tests and he was accepted. He joined Granada as a Technician in October
1974.
ÒIn all
thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy pathsÓ Prov.
The
following extract is taken from my loose-leaf diary, which I kept whilst
working at Granada, and relates to a remarkable experience, which demonstrates
the wonder and way how the Spirit of God leads and teaches a believer.
On
Friday, 30/8/74, it was my day off from work and during the day I was
rebuilding our garage roof at 36 Finmere Crescent, Aylesbury. During the day I
was thinking about the way God had dealt with me and led me thus far. I
realised that each child of God was special to Him and dealt with each one
personally. Each person had his own peculiar special work of God done in his or
her own life and was a work done in no other and was special to them. All were
saved, being involved in a common salvation, but the work of God was peculiar
and special to that individual. In this frame of mind I began to wonder about a
particular trouble I had caused a Mr Victor Prince.
Mr Prince
was a tailor and some years previously (about 5 years) I had employed him to
make a Crombie over coat when I had just been released from Borstal. It was to
cost £45 and I gave him £ 5 deposit to start the work. At that time I was
living in London doing Government training course learning about Television
servicing. My brother was due to be released from prison on home leave. He had
a coat made by some one a year previously and on his home leave he came to see
the coat before it was finished. After hearing how long it had been in the making
he said it was taking far too long and he persuaded me to tell Mr Prince it was
not good enough. He then picked holes in the coat in front of Mr Price and told
him to stick the coat. Later on the telephone we were both nasty to Mr Prince.
Mr Prince thought I was saying I could not afford it and offered to keep it
until I could. It was made especially for me and really would nod do any one
else. I left it with Mr Prince and though no more of it until then when I was
on the garage roof. I felt bad about the way I had treated him and would
apologise to him if I could.
My mind
was thinking upon the subject of predestination and reasoned that God had
planned every thing in creation to bring about a display of his glory and Grace
in Jesus Christ. I was a person created by God being responsible and
accountable to God having a definite purpose for my existence. I was alive and
active but God was working in and through me. I had been predestined to obtain
salvation, by Jesus Christ. This work of salvation was the means of displaying
Gods love, mercy and grace, towards me. It was not my free will that saved me
but Gods free grace that made me willing in the day of His power. Therefore
glory was due to God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
Feeling
wretched over the way I treated Mr Prince I had resolved, in my mind, to pay
the money I owed Mr Prince and apologies to him if ever I was to meet him
again.
It was
one week later on a Sunday the 8 /9.74 that I saw the amazing hand of God at
work. Mrs Knight of Mount Street spoke to me on the way home from the
Pentecostal Church at Bierton. She said her and Ken had met someone they had
not seen for a long time. I stopped her speaking and told her it was Mr Prince.
She was amazed and wondered how I knew. They had meet Mr Prince in Aylesbury
and he had though of asking Ken to repair his TV as it had gone wrong. They
said perhaps they would ask me to do it and if he remembered me. He certainly
did. Mrs Knight was able to inform him of me becoming a Christian and he left
it to them to make arrangements to get his TV fixed.
I had not
mentioned a thing to Mrs Knight and there was no way of this happening by
chance. God had done it.
The first
Sunday after this we all went to visit Mr Prince but he was out at a Harvest
Thanks giving service at a Methodist church. So we made arrangement to go on
18th of September. At first I did not know what to say as I was extremely
embarrassed so I said very little. I soon repaired the TV and then spoke to Mr
price about what had happened. I apologised and offer to pay the money I owed
him, quite forgetting about the coat.
It turned
out he still had the over coat even after several moves and the money owing was
£38. All I was asked to pay was £34 so I paid this by cheque.
(Cheque
number 183901). I now had my coat; it is dark blue Crombie over coat.
It was in October 1974
that I receive a call from Mr C J Ward asking me if I wanted my job back. I had
not long been promoted to Service Manager at Granada but the offer was very
tempting not to refuse immediately.
I went for the interview
as I was interested and asked Mr Ward all kinds of questions as this company
had made me redundant before. I
explained my problem about being a Christian and how it felt having the
three-year suspended sentence, and Mr Ward seemed sympathetic saying he had not
realised this at all. I told him about the Lord Jesus Christ and what he had
done for me. He said had I told him these things before he may have been able
to help.
I was offered £50 per week
(I was only getting £ 40 at Granada) plus a company car - with a day off - I
was really tempted. When he offered me £60 per week and asked me I start
straight away without giving notice to Granada I said yes, thinking this was
the right thing to do. I had never had thinks turn out so good before.
I thanked God for the
promotion. Mr Ward seemed pleased as though he had won a prize. Here I was
being offered £1000 per year more that I was getting at Granada.
After the interview I
thought to my self had I made the right decision and thought about my boss,
Tony Burnham - how would he cope? He had been good to me and got me the
promotion at Granada, I had second thoughts about taking the job and so I
decided to en contacted Mr Ward immediately to inform him of my decision.
Dear David,
I have to thank you for
your letter dated 8th October, I have personally not written before as I have
been trying to reconcile your actions with your religious beliefs, to this Ògod
which spoke to youÓ.
You spent all one Friday
afternoon asking about four pages of questions, I began to think it was myself
asking for a job, which apparently were answered to your satisfaction and you
arranged to take the position at a wage well above your actual capabilities but
I was willing to accept, capabilities which in part we paid for you to acquire,
you shook hands with me to seal the bargain and when I asked if you required a
contract you paid me the compliment of saying Ò No your word is good enough Mr
WardÓ. What a pity that I cannot now pay the same compliment to you, as within
24 hours you had broken our agreement. One does not expect this from religious
people of conviction; your religion is obviously different to mine. Just how it
this compatible with seducing our apprentice away from us before he had
completed his contract for which he so willingly, and at his own request signed
for.
Yours Sincerely,
C J Ward.
I felt very irritated with
Mr Wards response and I felt he was acting in spite so I aske a Christian,
Peter Howe, a minister of the Gospel from Ivanhoe, near Tring, how I should
respond to this letter, as it irritated me. He felt it was not necessary to give
a long reply but simple say you were sorry he felt the way he did but I had to
act in my interest, just as he did when he made me redundant. How ever felt it
needed a fuller reply, as I felt he was out of order and might learn a few
things from me.
Dear Mr Ward,
I am sorry to hear you
seem so bitter about my break of contract with you. I wrote firstly to
apologise for inconveniencing you and wasting your time and money. My conscience had troubled me over
saying I would start work for you and then turning your offer down.
What more can I say, I
know me saying sorry will not undo what has happened, all I can do is
apologies. Please accept them.
Surely you realised the
reason why I asked you so many questions was because it was such a major
decision I had to make. You wanted an immediate answer, straight away, so I had
to weigh all the facts so to act in my own interest. Just as you acted in your
own interest when you dismissed me before.
I am most grateful for your
efforts in supplementing my training, which I realise, cost you money
also. But Mr Ward you did sack me,
I never intended to leave. And
therefore I am under no obligation what so ever to you in that respect.
I did explain to you about
Michael the last time we met. I hid nothing from you.
Whilst I worked with
Michael he told me as soon as his apprenticeship was finished he was leaving
you. It was under this impression I contacted him regarding working for
Granada. I thought his contract finished this summer gone.
I never intended that he
should break any contract. I explained to him that you had always treated me
fairly and that he must make his own decisions. It was well within your own
ability to freely agree to dis annul the contract without aggravation to you or
Michael. I am sure Michael would not have left unless you had agreed to dismiss
him.
As to enticing and
seducing him away and your religion being different from mine on this point it
seems that is what you attempted to do with me when tempting me to leave
Granada without giving a weeks notice.
Your last point, I admit,
my religion is different to yours.
The Lord God whom you speak
against is my Lord. He is your creator and both you and me are accountable to
him alone, for our actions, words and thoughts. If God chooses to start a good
work of change, in such a sinful person as my self, and you speak against his
work, then it is he you defy and not I. The Lord Jesus Christ came into the
world to save his people from their sins. Not for the sake of the righteous.
Only sick people need a doctor. I needed the doctor. I am the sinner and am in
need of his forgiveness and mercy.
However I donÕt like
upsetting people I hope you receive my answer to your letter and consider what
I say. I donÕt wish to be on bad terms with you as I like you and admire your
business ability.
Yours Sincerely,
David Clarke.
Shortly after this Mr Ward
was in serious difficulties which those that know him will know all about.
My visit to
Northern Ireland
At
that time I took advantage of an invite from Owen MaCrystal to visit him at
home. He lived in a town called Omagh, in County Tyrone, in Northern Ireland.
Owen had a television business called
ÒCrystal TVÓ. He used to
live in Aylesbury as a telephone engineer and I met him through Ken Knight,
when I worked for him at the age of 16. He started his business by moving a vanload
of second hand TV sets, from England, to the town of Omagh, and then began to
rent and repair washing machines and TVÕs. I was invited to teach one of his
employees, called Ivan. I taught
him how colour TVÕs work. Owen
maintained he was a genius because he could fix TV sets without knowing how
they worked. He maintained that one
could repair a TV set if one knew how it worked, so Owen must be a genius as he
could repair them not knowing how they worked. OwenÕs wife was a Catholic and I
think they viewed my religious beliefs with scepticism.
Isaac and Esther shed tears of Repentance on Ian
PaisleyÕs knee
(I met him at a
meeting in London several years later)
I
was unaware of all the conflicts in Ireland at that time and largely ignorant
of the issues involved. I had heard people speak evil of Ian Paisley and all I
knew was that the Rev. Ian Paisley had preached a sermon called, ÒSecond Mile
ReligionÓ and I knew from that sermon he was a man of God, and preached the
truth about the Lord Jesus Christ.
I decided on my way through Belfast I would stop the night and visit the
Martyrs Memorial Church, where Ian Paisley was the pastor.
When
I arrived in Belfast I was amazed to see all the soldiers with guns, checking
every body, and watching out for trouble.
It was the 12th of July 1974. When I arrived on one of the streets I
noticed all the shops and doorways were barred up and the streets were empty
with soldiers on every corner. I was knocking on a guesthouse door to find two
ladies running the guesthouse. I had arrived unannounced with a large
suspicious suitcase, in my hand, from England. I said would like to stay the
night and asked if they knew where Martyrs Memorial Church was. They looked at
me Ògone outÓ and asked me what was an English man doing visiting Belfast
during all these troubles. I said I wanted to hear Ian Paisley preach. I said I
had heard him preach on a record and he preached the gospel. They said they were Catholics and they
would be too afraid to go and hear him preach, even though they would like to.
They made me welcome and I had a pleasant stay learning a bit about the
troubles in Northern Ireland.
In
the morning as I carried my suspicious looking suit case through the streets of
Belfast, I had occasion to ask a milkman the way to Martyrs Memorial Church and
he replied I was in the wrong part of Belfast to be asking directions to that
place. Thankfully he directed me along a certain road. I realised this must
have been a Catholic area but I was really so naive I did not know what was going
on, at all.
I
ended up in a Newspaper shop asking directions and my eyes caught the picture
of a man called ÒCarsonÓ on a post card. To make conversation I asked the shopkeeper
who was this person Carson, and she spoke scathingly to me say I ought not to
ask such questions like that. I then realised I must have been in the wrong
area.
I
arrive at the Martyrs Memorial Church and Mr Paisley was preaching. It was a
very large building with figureheads of the martyrs all around the building. Mr
Paisley preached faithfully the truth about Jesus Christ and I could not
understand why people should oppose him as I had heard. In that meeting I heard
no mention of politics. I only
heard about Jesus Christ and what he had done for sinners. I concluded it must
be his tone of voice or way of speaking.
I felt people must have not been listening to his message but rather the
tone of his voice. I could imagine him speaking against the enemies of the
truth using his tongue like a Òbastard fileÓ. After the meeting I asked Mr Paisley to
direct me to some one who could help me get to Omagh, as I was a visitor.
I
finally got transport that day to Omagh and ended up joining a group of
Christians from the Free Presbyterian Church. I was given an orange sash and I
joined their march along the streets and lanes of the town. We then went to a
meeting and the Preacher was Rev. William Macray.
I
had a good time in Omagh, staying at my friend's home. Owen did not believe the
gospel, he was a nominal Roman Catholic, and we had long talks about the things
of God. Ivan confided in me that he was a Christian but he did not like to say
too much to Owen as it might not go down too well for him and Owen could give
him a hard time.
The pace of life seemed so much slower than in
Aylesbury and every one I spoke to seemed to have a knowledge as to what it
meant to be, Òborn againÓ or to Òbe savedÓ. Even Owen and his wife who were
Catholics knew these terms and used them. It was not like this in England. I
had a good time in Ireland and would like to go again.
I
had become dissatisfied with the situation, circumstances and doctrinal position
of the Pentecostal Holiness Church, and I felt led rightly to leave this Church and
attend the Bierton Strict and Particular Baptist church. I felt I could no
longer in conscience stay at the church, even though I had affection for all
the people there, when there was a company of people across the road at the
Bierton Strict and Particular Baptist Church, who professed the very gospel I
had received. From that time I attended
as a member of the congregation, at this place of truth.
I
started to go Bierton Church just before Mr Hill preached, at the Wednesday night
prayer meeting, where I sat at the back of the chapel. At that time I had no idea of the manner
of church government, nor of any other ministers engaged to preach,
The
folk at Bierton used a hymnbook, which I liked, and also I was happy with the
slower pace of singing.
Miss
Bertha Ellis would play the foot-peddled organ and the hymnbook used was
DenhamÕs Collection, 18th or 19th century. The hymn singing was about half the
speed of the hymns sung at other churches, and the words of the hymns were
wonderful and glorifying to God. The procedure of meeting was generally a hymn
first, then reading from the scripture (Authorised version King James), then
another hymn, a prayer, a hymn, the sermon, and then a final hymn and a closing
prayer.
A
short while after I began to attend, on a regular basis, I was asked by Mr King
if I would engage in prayer when asked to. It was the custom for men to pray
and the women to keep silent.
I
did engage in prayer and after the meeting Mr King asked me kindly to pray in
future, in reverent language and to address God in terms of thee and thou
rather than you and your because it could offend people. That was their custom.
I
went away feeling offended, thinking all kinds of thoughts. I was upset
thinking what difference does the language make etc. but I bowed to their
request and adopted their form of speak in order not to offend. I find it
difficult today to break from that habit of using thee and thou. i.e. reverent
language, when addressing God.
I
found the hymns and preaching at the Bierton Strict Baptist Church very edifying
and helpful.
Not
all the preaching however was good at Bierton. Sometimes I would groan and
suffer 45 minute of things I found difficult to listen to. These preachers
would not use notes but spoke, as they felt led.
Miss
Bertha Ellis informed me that the church was formed in 1831 and opened by the
son of John Warburton and she had the minutes of the meeting in the deed of
trust upon which the church was formed.
After
my warm reception I was looking forward to hear Mr Hill, of Luton preach at the
Anniversary Service. It was good to
hear Mr Hill preach and he later invited me to his home in Luton, together with
Mr Alan Benning.
After
a short while I wrote to the church expressing my wish to join as I believed I
had that responsibility having experience the new birth and had been baptised. I thought I should support the cause of
Christ at Bierton.
I
was received into church membership, at the Bierton Strict and Particular
Baptist Church, on 8th January 1976.
A
problem arose because in the articles of faith given to me there were two,
which I could not subscribe too. However these articles of faith were not what were
contained in the trust deed of 1831 so I was allowed to join upon my acceptance
of the original articles of faith, and not the spurious ones. There was in fact
no record of how these other articles of faith came to be in use.
The
articles I found unacceptable were:
Article XII We believe that Christ has set apart a
day of rest, to be kept holy, and for his honour and glory, which is the first
day of the week, commonly called Sunday, Mark 2 27. Acts 16 13. Hebrew 4 9.
I
did not believe that was true or that the scripture taught that.
Article XVI We believe all infants who die in their infancy,
go to heaven by virtue of the death of Christ. Matt 19: 13, 14, 15.
Again
I could not say that I believed this. I grant that if they do go to heaven then
is must be by virtue of the death of Jesus. These scriptures quoted did not
teach this view.
I
was however received into membership after giving a clear and detailed account
of the Lords dealings with me.
On
my return to work I continued the long hours, to get all the work done at
Granada. We had become the best
branch in the district, in terms of sales and repairs. However this excessive work took its
toll on me, and the things of God began to pale. Normally I would be considering the
things of God all the time, thinking about creation, our purpose in life and
the way of salvation, the person of Christ, His work and my calling in
particular. I went to the church meetings but I could not shut off from
thinking of work.
I
soon realised I was not well, nor a good manager, and found myself doing all
the work that needed to be done myself.
I worked long hours and my days off, without extra pay. Although I got
the job done and we were the best branch in the district it was at my expense.
During
this time Mrs Knight's husband got into serious trouble with the law. He had
devised a scheme to launch a bogus insurance company. He showed me all the
printing and the cover note books, which he had made, with his own name as the
insurance underwriter. I warned him
in no uncertain terms that he would end up in prison if he went ahead with his
plans.
It
wasnÕt long before he was caught. He was sentence to 4 years prison and spent
his time at Ley Hill Prison. This was an open prison for non-violent offenders.
Now
Mrs Knight (Grace) had the responsibility of bringing up her 14-year-old son
Mark and I was around to help. I
spoke to Mark about the Lord Jesus and he became a Christian during a holiday
that he had been on with some friends.
His
mother Grace depended on me for lifts and various helps. It was soon muted by
some Christians that it did not seem right that I, as a single man, should be helping
a married woman. This upset Grace and I found it all a bit too difficult
because she did seem to look to me for every thing during the time her husband
Ken was in prison.
My
parents encouraged me to buy their house, with the aid of a mortgage, as I was
working and eligible for a home loan. With the money they realised from the
sale, they bought another house in Aylesbury, at Coronation Villas. This one needed
renovation.
They
employed Michael to do the renovation and it was there that he lived when he
was first married. At the same time another house became available, just down
the road, at Canal Side and I was encouraged by my parents to buy this house
with a bank loan of £3,500, and a loan of £3,000 from my mum and dad. This we
renovated and then when I met my first girl friend it was to become our first
home, when we married. This was the girl I saw baptised at Limes Avenue Baptist
Church.
When
I started work at Granada I was feeling very happy and was on a manic high. It was during this period
that I agreed to buy my parents home and the house at Canal Side. How ever
after several months of this intense work and concerns over the Knight family,
I began to find I could not cope with the stress and the demands of the job at
Granada. I went through horrifying bouts of agony and fear of not being able to
cope. I began to think I was experiencing flash backs from the bad trip on LSD.
This time how ever, it was in the cold light of day, with no LSD etc. I was so
ill I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me, thinking this would remove
me from all the pain that I was going through. I cried out to God in all this
but the heavens seemed to be as brass.
One
afternoon, on the garage roof at Grace KnightÕs house, at Mount Street, I
cracked up and realised I could not cope any more. I couldnÕt make
decisions. I could not think straight;
every problem was too much to face. Each morning when I awoke for work, I had
to take a walk in the park near our house; in much pain wishing the ground
would open up and swallow me, before going to work.
I
ended up resigning from the manager's job and becoming a normal technician.
This ended my feelings of failure but further depression set in. It was during this time that I learned
that the Christian life could be very painful, which caused me to seek
deliverance from the Lord, and rely totally on the God of all grace.
I
wondered and felt that God was chastening me for not dealing with a particular
problem in my life. At this time I had not heard of manic depression or bi-polar
mood swings, but on reflection this was a very serious swing into the
depths of depression. I had been plunged into an abyss, whose depths had not
been fathomed. It was to last for a period of 3 years. My movements had slowed
down and speech was slow and I felt utterly cast down. I began to fear the
future and felt so very much alone. I was lonely. I wondered if I would ever
find a girlfriend and marry.
Then
I did meet my first girlfriend who went to the local Anglican Church in
Aylesbury, but we were not really suited.
We intended to marry but to my dismay, and total pain, she had second
thoughts, concluding that I had religious mania. This added to my depression,
which only began to lift after I met my wife to be, Irene Protheroe, on a
Christian Holiday, organised by Caterham Strict Baptist Church.
I
realised my depression was lifting because I began to look forward to seeing
Irene and we wrote letters to each other every day. One day, after visiting one
of Granada's customers, they offered me a Billy goat, for £30. I bought it
without thinking where I would keep it, or who would look after it, but
thankfully we had space at 24 Mount Street, right next to the Railway line of
Aylesbury Railway Station. The trouble was Solomon that was what we called him,
cried all night because he was alone. We felt he would die of a broken heart.
This was all because he had been separated from his mate Priscilla. I had no option but to go and buy her
too, and bring her to Mount Street. It was then, when Irene came from
Leicester, that I conducted a marriage ceremony for Solomon and Priscilla (as I
did not believe they should cohabit before marriage) J,
and very soon they had twinÕs baby goats, that we called Benjamin and Sheba.
By
this time Mrs Knights husband had been released from prison and he gladly
looked after the goats, milking Priscilla each day.
I
was then encouraged by Irene to consider training to be a teacher because I had
expressed a desire to preach and teach the gospel. She was a personnel officer,
at a Christian Book publisher called IVPF, in Leicester. I was not keen on Bible Colleges, and
those graduating from such institutions did not at all impress me. However I
thought it was a good idea to train to be a teacher and to be qualified, as
then I could teach whatever subject I liked. I was self-taught in reading the
scriptures and doctrinal books, like Dr John Gill, Luther, Calvin, Huntington,
Kershaw and many of the reformers.
My
application to attend Wolverhampton Technical Training College was accepted and
by the sheer grace of God I was accepted, not really due to my own merit but
rather because they were short of students and I had the highest qualifications
one could have to teach Radio and Television Servicing.
That
year, towards the end September 1976, was a good year for me. My mood was high
and I got interested in many projects whilst at Wolverhampton TTC. In particular a project to generate
methane from pig manure so that I could run my car from it.
Whilst
I was at Wolverhampton I encourage Irene to buy a house, I gave her the deposit
and she was able to get a mortgage for £6000.00, and so we bought 64B Moat
Street in Wigston Magna, Leicestershire.
The
day after I finished my first term at Wolverhampton TTC we were married at the
Evangelical Church in Evington, Leicestershire.
64B
Moat Street became our first home together. During the summer of that year I
renovated this property, which increase in value from £9,000 in 1978 to £27,000
in 1980. We were in this house when Isaac, our first child was born, in
February 1979.
It
was during this period I realise now I was on a manic high. I recall I brought our baby goats,
Benjamin and Sheba, from Aylesbury - because I was on a high I did things I
wanted to do without thinking of the consequences or outcome of my decisions.
I
graduated from the Wolverhampton Polytechnic in 1978 and was awarded a Teaching
Qualification, Cert. Ed. From
Birmingham University and my first lecturing post was at Luton College of
Higher Education. It was at this college,
which I attended between 1967 and 1972, that I obtained my City and Guilds qualification,
in Radio and Television Servicing. Terry Lovelock was the senior lecturer when
I was a student, and he was still there when I was employed as a member of
staff in the Engineering Department.
We
were able to obtain a council house at Lewsy Farm and for the first six months we
were very happy. We even got permission from the council to keep our goats in
the coalhouse. The only trouble was when I took them for a walk they would
escape and eat the neighbour's flowers in their front gardens.
After
six months my wife encourage me to buy a house in Linslaid, rather than rent
from the council, which we were able to do at a price of £14,000. This is where
we stayed until it was decided we should return to live in Bierton and be
involved with the church.
We
had a friend who wished to buy our house so we worked together and got some
books and learned how to buy and sell a house without a solicitor. We succeeded
without any difficulties and after that I was able to sell our house in Moat Street
and buy our new home in Bierton, all without the aid of a solicitor. We saved
hundreds of pounds. Try it; it is worth the effort.
We
decided to move to Bierton in 1980 and sell our houses in Wigston, Linslaid and
Aylesbury to buy a detached bungalow in Bierton. This was because we wanted to
be more involved with the church and I could commute to my work in Luton each
day. A problem occurred which I was just not expecting, and this was the fact
that we were not able to sell my Canal Side house as my tenants refused to
leave.
On
reflection I was on a high and I believed I could represent myself in court
thinking I had a clear-cut case for eviction. This time I was wrong and I would
encourage any one in a similar position to employ a lawyer.
I
had bought a terraced house at Canal Side, Aylesbury, before I got married and
I had renovated it. I had borrowed
£3,000 from Barclays and was paying this back over a period of 3 years.
It
was in September 1976 I left Aylesbury and went to Wolverhampton Polytechnic
(formerly Wolverhampton Technical Teacher Training College) to train as a
teacher. I rented out three rooms with shared amenities and I reserved a room
for myself downstairs.
My
mother looked after all the bills and collected the rents. Whilst I was at
Wolverhampton the boyfriend of the lady, who lived as a tenant, asked if he too
could rent a room. This seemed OK so I let a room to him as well. They soon got
married and I saw no real problem. They then asked if they could have just the
one double room. I explained that I
needed to rent all the rooms but they could have the double room for an
appropriate rent. I also said they could use my room down stairs when I wasnÕt
there.
I
thought things were OK but I had a problem three years later (October 1980)
when I wanted to sell the house. I knew nothing about the law and the Land Lord
and Tenant Act. I soon found a
buyer for the house and made an offer to buy a house from Mr X in Great Lane,
Bierton.
My
tenants decided to claim they had right of occupation, and wanted to stay
there, which prevented me from selling the house. I went through all kinds of
indignant feelings and was angry with them. They knew I had rented the rooms to
them on condition if I wanted to return they would have to leave. They called
in the Rent Officer, and the officials came in reducing the rent that I was
charging them. In the end I decided I would have to take them to court to get
them to leave.
I
had to say to Mr X that I could not proceed with the purchase of his house and
he was very upset as it messed all their plans up and cost him extra money
because the housing chain had been broken. He even asked me to meet the extra
costs he had incurred. He felt I was morally obliged to pay towards the costs
(£1000) due to us not being able to proceed with the purchase. I felt upset by
this too.
I
felt God was on the side of the Righteous and if I were to present my case to
the court I would get an order to get these people to leave.
I
knew nothing about the law and could not afford a Solicitor, as all my money
was tied up in paying mortgages etc. So I decided to take them to court myself.
I believed I could do all things through God who strengthened me.
The
Judged asked me what the case was all about. I proceeded to read my script but
he soon stopped me. He said you cannot do that and without explaining why he
asked the defendants solicitor to state the case.
Apparently
you have to present things in a certain order and way and it must conform to a
certain protocol. I knew nothing about protocol, or the law, all I knew was I
had been wronged and I was looking for Justice.
The
judge said I ought to seek legal help. My case was dismissed much to my
dismay. My mother was in court and
stood up and protested to the judge.
I simply got up and left saying no more. Needless to say I was dismayed
and dumbfounded. Where was God and where was justice? I realised then the law
of our land has nothing to do with morality or right and wrong in that sense
but was pedantic and according to strict rules. This was not justice as far as
I was concerned. I looked to God for help. I believed God would appear for my
help.
When
I returned the next day to Canal Side to sort things out in the house, the man,
my tenant, a big Irish man, said to me,Ó What was all that about last night
Ò? I did not know what he was
talking about and asked him what he meant. He said that two men had come around
with lumps of wood, the previous evening, and said they wanted them out. I was amazed, as I knew nothing about
it. I said that I didnÕt know anything about it and he should go to the police.
I
thought that these must be angels sent from God to warn them not to trifle with
me. I felt comforted that this was the case. I began to believe it, that things
were going to be OK.
In
the end I had to employ a Barrister to represent me. It was many months later that
the couple agreed to buy the house from me, at a market price. It cost me at
least £800 in legal fees.
It
was a number of years later that my brother confessed to me that he and a
friend Peter Sinfield had been those Angels.
Prevented
from buying a house - I upset J & J
As
I have already mentioned we had to pull- out of buying his bungalow but he was
upset by the fact we did not proceed with the purchase. This was his letter to
me, which caused me concern.
17th November 1980
Dear
David,
As
you can see, after you had withdrawn from the sale of Great Lane we were put in
a very difficult position, because as you remember we had been given until the
end of December to complete the purchase of this property. This proved to be
quite impossible, and although the builders have been very helpful, they had to
increase the price to us by £1500.
We
had not bargained for this when we got our mortgage, and together with extra
Solicitors fees that were involved, found at the end of the sale needing to
borrow the extra money. This of course must be paid back in the near future and
we felt that, as this was not our fault really, that you might feel you could
help us with £1000 of it. We did give you the preference over the cash buyer we
had, because we wanted to help friends at Bierton Chapel.
If
we could have managed in any other way without writing to you, believe me we
would have done so.
Trusting
that Irene and the children are well.
May
God bless you all?
Yours
Sincerely,
J&J
My reply to Mr and Mrs J&J
Moat
Street
Dear Mr xx
Re
Your letter dated 17th November 1980
I
am pleased for you that at last you have moved to your new home but am sorry
that the move proved more expensive than you anticipated.
Your
request came as a surprise and has caused my conscience much exercise over the
morality of the issue, since it would appear you feel Irene and I are obligated
to repay some of your losses.
However after careful reasoning we do not share the same view and do not
accept the obligation. Also, Irene and I are unable to do so as we are in
financial difficulties our selves.
I
would like to add that had we felt obliged then by the grace of God we would
have offered payment for your loss. This did occur in my last transaction when
trying to sell Canal Side. I presumed to give the intended purchaser vacant
possession within a month of the exchange of contract but I was unable to do so
since my tenants refused to leave.
In this case I felt obliged to him and offered to pay the expenses of my
intended purchaser because he had proceeded to purchase on that basis. When we
spoke to you we did not keep you in the dark over our circumstances and I did
keep you informed. Our arrangements were Subject to Contract, which at that time
had not been drawn up nor signed at the time of our withdrawal.
I
do apologise over the matter for it seems God, in His providence, intervened
having His own reasons and although at the present time we cannot see why, He
may be pleased to show us one day.
Yours
with Christian regards,
David
Clarke.
Dealings
like this always leave a bad taste in the mouth but I had to leave it in Gods
hands. This shows that Christians are not immune from the normal trials of life
and that this chain in buying and selling has a knock - on effect. Mr G. Felt I had let him down and so I should
compensate him. I too had been let down by the tenants.
Eventually we were able to by a
property in Bierton. It was detached bungalow just down the road from the
Bierton Strict Baptist Chapel. I felt really blessed of God to own it and be so
near to our chapel.
Trouble was on its way in the
form of religious oppression. On a Sunday morning, in 1983, I took to church a
friend of mineÕs daughter. This was
the daughter of Dick Holmes who I use to work with as an aerial rigger. She had
been through a divorce and was having a difficult time. I suggested she came
with me to church, as she needed help from God.
She was dressed in tight black
slacks and a short top, which showed all her figure. She had long peroxide
blond hair and her face was made up. This mode of dress was a striking contrast
to the elderly ladies who dressed very modestly with no facial make up and all
wore hats to cover their heads in church.
Unfortunately this was too much
for Mrs Evered who came up to me after the service (I call it a meeting because the
meetings of the New Testament churches were not called services) and she said
that the next time I bring a female to chapel I should ask her to wear a hat.
Mrs E said that all Gospel
Standard Churches insisted that women cover their heads and so should we.
I responded to that by saying, Ò
What ever others do is their concern.
They are wrong if they enforced the covering of the head upon a none
church member and a women visitor who has no profession of the Christian
faith.Ó
I said she must raise this issue
at our church meeting.
This spirit of legalism naturally
took me back. Here was a young woman in severe distress needing the mercy and
love of God as revealed in Jesus Christ and all Mrs E seemed to be concerned
with was the wearing of a hat. I knew the principle of a women dressing
modestly and being in subjection to her husband and covering her head in
worship. I also knew the principle
of the women not exercising authority over a man but this action of Mrs E. to
use a phrase, Òtook the biscuitÓ.
I was a man and was being
instructed by a woman, Mrs E, to order a visiting unbelieving female to wear a
hat in order to uphold the principle that it was a shame for women to worship
God without a head covering.
This covering, according to the
scripture, was to show the angels that woman had no authority over man, to
remind them of the Garden of Eden and Christ's relationship to the church.
Mrs E missed had missed the whole
point of the gospel and in her religious zeal to maintain an outward form of
religion had transgressed the rule she sought to maintain.
This religious spirit was not of
God and I believed the gospel needed to be preached to set me free from such
darkness. But who would do this?
I believe God puts the desire to
preach and speak His Word into the hearts of those whom he calls. This desire was
place in my heart the day Jesus called me to hear him and believe in him. My
desire to help others turn from the way that leads to hell and to turn to
Christ himself for salvation, was acknowledge by Jesus the night I was saved. His reply to me, when I asked what about
the others, was that all I could do was tell them. What better way than to preach the
unsearchable riches of Christ to men.
I had spoken on a number of times
at Bierton Church, during the week- night prayer meeting but from the table not
the pulpit. Gradually however
I felt more and more
uncomfortable when sitting in the pew just listening to sermons, particularly
when things were not very well expressed and some times serious errors were
being spoken. It grieved me to
listen to the ignorant talk of the religious whose eyes were blinded to the
truth of God and who sought to bind burdens on peoples backs. This issue over
the hat and lady visitor was an example - not that I am against a head covering
for a women but what had happened to this lady visitor was wrong. More light was needed. I had also been
shocked by the reluctance of the Bierton church to use the chapel to conduct a
meeting to forming people of the error of the Papal system of Rome, and how we
might act righteously in the present day since the Pope was to visit Britain
that year.
I saw the Pope on the TV screen
when he was at Wembley Stadium and the whole crowd, thousands of them, was
singing praise to the Pope. They were singing, ÒHeÕs got the Whole world in his
handÕ, and the Pope received that praise. I saw it and heard it with my own
eyes and ears. This man is an Anti Christ. I felt I must speak out otherwise
the stones would.
When I first became a Christian I
did not believe in Bible Colleges, thinking that I did not want men to teach
me, I wanted God to teach me. From what little I had seen of vicars and so
called trained men I felt Bible Colleges were of no use because these people
are not even born again.
So I dismissed the idea of Bible
College for me. Never the less I wanted to learn all about God and speak his
word in clarity and truth. This desire turned me to read about the lives of men
of God. I went from reading the Beano and Dandy comics and James Bond books to
the Bible and then on to the writings of John Bunyan, Dr John Gill, John Owen
and Calvin in a matter of two or three years. The word list I had from reading
these books (words I needed to learn) were several sides of A4 paper. I was
learning to read.
I was encourage by my wife -to-
be to go to a Technical Training College to learn how to teach people in
electronics. I took one year out
from work and studied at Wolverhampton Polytechnic and finally graduated with a
teaching Certificate in Education. This was the year 1977.
David (bottom centre right) at
Wolverhampton Polytechnic
I had another agenda, believing I
could learn from secular professional teachers how to teach. I would then be able to take the
substance of what God was showing me and then present it to men in a way they
could understand. This was my desire.
I took on my first teaching post at Luton College of Higher Education
and commenced teaching in 1978.
It was during this time at Luton
College and at Bierton Church that I felt it right to explain my desire to the
church, as I believed I was being called of God to preach the word of Jesus
Christ.
Mr Hill of Luton, a minister of
the Gospel, and Mr Hope of Reading, a minister of the Gospel, invited me to
share with them my calling. They
concluded that my leading was right. It was put to the church that I should
preach and exercise any gift I had. This was duly done and a few people came
from Oxford and Eaton Bray church to hear the word of God spoken.
It was agreed without question
that I should preach as the Lord opened up the way and from that day letters
came from different churches, asking me to preach at various Strict Baptist
Chapels throughout the country. I was being sent out to preach with the
blessing of the church.
In a very short period of time I
was engaged to preach at the following Strict Baptist Chapels throughout the
country:
|
Luton ÒEbenezerÓ
|
Reading ÒHope ChapelÓ
|
|
Wantage
|
Oakington in Cambridgeshire
|
|
Matfield
|
Blackheath
|
|
Eaton Bray
|
Oxford
|
|
Bradford
|
Churches in Bedfordshire
|
|
Peterborough
|
Stamford
|
|
Leicester
|
Horsham
|
|
Romford
|
New Mill
|
In fact I was so overwhelmed with being asked
to preach at so many places, I could have been preaching three times on a
Sunday every week of the year and during the week at weeknight services. This
was on top of my full-time work, which involved teaching two nights a week at
Luton College as well as continuing my studies with the Open University.
I was so concerned to put God
first and to fulfil my calling that when my twins, David and Eleanor were born,
on 29th October 1983, and were due to come home, I postponed bringing my wife
and babies home from hospital
in order not to cancel a preaching engagement that I had made in the fear of
God.
Various people to this day tell
me I was wrong, that I should have put my wife first. What do you think?
A Spanking from the pulpit (Isaac
deserved it)
I was very conscious of the
exhortation that if I spared the rod I would spoil the child (Prov. 13. 24). The other scripture which spoke to
me was that of how a good father ought to
Ò Rule his house well, his children being obedient and subject to him Ò
and also that if I did not know how to rule my own house how could I take care
of the church of God (1 Tim 3. 5 -
12. I believed the scripture spoke
clearly about corporal punishment and it was a must. (Prov 29. 15 and Prov 23.
13).
The first occasion I felt the
need to exercise corporal punishment was on Isaac when he was very small. As I
write this now I smile and I am sure he would do too. I still think he needs
corporal punishment now at the age of 20 years old.
Isaac had done something, which
warranted correction, and I felt this occasion I would use the rod of
correction. It was a small thin
garden cane, a green one. I made him stand away from me and I said it hurt me
more than it would hurt him, to have to correct him like this. He was about 4
years old. I smacked his bottom with the can and he jumped and couldnÕt say a
word for a few moments. Then he burst into tears saying, Ò daddy that stingsÓ.
From that day forward that cane was called the Òstinging stickÓ. That was not
the last time the stinging stick was used.
On another occasion I was
preaching in Bierton Chapel and Isaac and Esther were sitting with their mum on
the back row of the chapel. During the sermon Isaac was playing his mum up and
he would not sit still and kept messing about. His behaviour was unacceptable.
I was gradually becoming cross with him until I felt I must do some thing about
it.
I stopped speaking and said to
the congregation Ò excuse meÓ and climbed down the pulpit steps and went to the
back of the chapel. I picked Isaac up and took him out side the chapel and
informed him I was displeased with his behaviour and gave his three spanks on
the bottom. With this he burst into tears and when he stopped I took him back in
the chapel and placed him besides his mum. I then went back into the pulpit and
apologised for the interruption and proceeded with the sermon as though nothing
had happened.
I heard afterwards that the
spanking was heard through out the chapel and a couple of the ladies were
horrified at what I had done but they said nothing to me. I felt I had done the
right thing, using the rod of correction to drive foolishness from the child
(prove. 22. 15).
Is Corporal
punishment what Jesus wants?
|
Prov.
10.12
|
Hatred
stirs up strife but love covereth all sins
|
|
Prov.
10.13
|
A
rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding
|
|
Prov.
13. 24
|
He
that spareth his rod hateth his son: he that loveth him chasteneth him
betimes
|
|
Prov
19. 18
|
Chasten
thy son whilst there is hope. Spare not for his crying
|
|
Prov
19. 29
|
Judgements
are prepared for scorners and stripes for the back of fools
|
|
Prov
19. 30
|
The
blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward parts of
the belly
|
|
Prov
22 .15
|
Foolishness
is bound up in the heart of the child but the rod of correction will drive it
far from him
|
|
Prov 23
|
Withhold
not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod he shall
not die
|
|
Prov.
29. 15
|
The
rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother
to shame
|
Answer: Yes.
The Papal visit 1982
This year Pope John Paul II was
due to visit Britain. This was to be the first time in 400 years. Very few
people saw the significance of this and I felt the need to inform people about
such an event.
I wrote to the Bierton Church,
which met on the 16th January 1982, (this was 14 years to the day of my
conversion) asking if we could invite a member of The British Council of
Protestant Christian Churches to speak to us so that we could hear good Godly
principles to guide us at that time.
I suggested it would be helpful for many churches in the area.
Mrs E. said that the Bierton
Chapel was not the place to hold such a meeting but some other place like the
village hall. Mr King said they had Roman Catholic friends and would not wish
to offend them!
From this time I realised the
church at Bierton no longed loved the truth and I would see the hand of God
held out against her.
I remembered ÒThey that honour me
I will honourÓ.
I held the meeting in my house
and invited several people, from different churches, and Rev Gordon Ferguson
came and preached to us.
After that time I was very much
alert to the activity of the Church of Rome and the trend for the Anglican
Church to move closer to Rome. About one year after this time I read an article
in a magazine called ÒContactÓ, by Rev D.B., an Anglican Vicar at Walton Street
Church of England. I was moved to
write to him.
Waddesdon Hill Strict Baptist
Chapel
In 1983 a Mr Rose of Luton, a
former trustee of the Waddesdon Hill Strict Baptist Chapel wrote to me whilst I
was living at Bierton, asking if we at Bierton Strict and Particular Baptist
Church would wish to hold evangelistic meetings at the Waddesdon Strict Baptist
Chapel during the time that Billy Graham was preaching in England and Mission
England was happening. He suggested
that I wrote to the new Trustees who were now the Metropolitan Association of
Strict Baptist Churches.
The Waddesdon Hill chapel was a
very quaint chapel out on its own along the village road in Waddesdon. It had closed down due to too few people
attending. Each year since 1976 I had attended an anniversary service there
conducted by a Mr Collier, the minister of Linslaid Strict Baptist church, and
Mr Hill of the Luton Strict Baptist church.
Waddesdon Hill Strict Baptist
Chapel
Our church at Bierton was not interested
in Billy Graham or want anything to do with Mission England, so I wrote to the
Trustees explaining what had happened and asking if I and few others could use
the chapel, during this period, to preach the gospel. I explained this was Mr
Roses request and I was very willing to be involved. I explained we had a few
Christian friends who would wish to be involved including the church at Eaton
Bray.
Letter to Mr
Knight (Chairman of the trust)
Dear
Mr K 27/4/84
With reference to our telephone conversation
of Tuesday I write on behalf of a number of people with a request to hold
public meetings for the purpose of preaching the Word of God and worship at the
chapel situated at Waddesdon Hill.
This initial proposal is to hold
three or four meetings during the summer months, say the 1st Saturday of each
month, June, July, August and September, in the PM.
I am a Particular Baptist (and
minister of the Gospel) in membership of Bierton Strict and Particular Baptist
Church. Whilst our church does not wish to be responsible for such meetings
they have no objection to my personal involvement and organisation of any such
meetings.
Enclosed is a subscriber list of
names offering mutual help and support.
I understand you are to meet
shortly and we would be grateful if permission could be granted to our
request. If this is possible may we
have a copy of the ÒArticles of FaithÓ and clauses in the trust deed with your
reply?
Yours Sincerely,
David Clarke.
My
request turned down
My request was turned down, as they
wanted a properly formed church to take over the chapel such as the Limes
Avenue Strict Baptist Church. I
found this way of doing things very chilling and it helped to form my view of
such organised associations. I
would not commend them.
Shortly after this affair I seceded
from the Bierton Church. A few of us were meeting in our home at Bierton. I was informed that the Waddesdon Hill
Chapel was up for sale. I thought perhaps this was a way forward and we could
use the chapel to meet and we might be in the position to form a church. I
wrote to the Trustees explaining my situation. I asked them to forward me a copy of the
trust deed, as I felt since I had attended the meetings held by the former
Trustees it was quite probable that we would qualify to use the chapel if we
fitted the characters set out in the Trust Deed.
I was invited to meet with the
committee and put forward my case and during the meeting one of the trustees
said they wanted some one dynamic to go into Waddesdon village and make an impact.
I thought this was not how I saw things.
God was well able to do it His way.
I replied that it sounded as though he wanted the Lord Jesus to go
there.
I was offered the Chapel on the
basis that I formed a church using their confession of faith - The 1966 Strict
Baptist Confession. I said I could
not that because I believed them to be wrong, but would be able to do so if
they were stated as the Gospel Standard Articles without added ones. I was turned down.
Not being prepared to let it go I
offered to buy the chapel and since they were going to sell it I would offer
one penny more than the highest bidder. They were not prepared to do this. So I
left it.
The Papal Visit. I write to D.B. an Anglican Vicar
Since the recent visit of the
Pope to Britain, in 1982, I was compelled to examine the claims of the papacy
and the Roman Catholic Church.
During August 1983 I read an Article in Mays Edition of ÒContactÓ
written by the Rev, D.B. I was
moved in spirit being very concerned and wrote to the author.
Here is the letter:
Dear
Mr B. 17th
August 1983
Having read your article, which
appeared in the May issue of ÒContactÓ (1982), entitled Roman Catholicism, I am
constrained to write to you as a preliminary step. You express views concerning Roman Catholicism
and Pope John Paul II, which are not shared by many Christians.
You indicate your views
concerning the Pope by stating that John Paul the II is a man of deep
spirituality and courage and therefore worthy of our respect. You say he is a
Christian and a Christian Leader, although you differ on the authority he and
his church lay claim to. Never the
less there are common grounds between Anglicans and Roman Catholic as fellow
Christians, and both belong to a Christian Church.
You list four basic areas of
common ground for this recognition:
A They are both people of Christ.
B They
are both people of the Bible
C They
have the sacraments of Baptism and Holy Communion
D They
are both people of the Holy Spirit.
You then express the real differences,
which you believe ought to be remembered.
Now, as a minister of the Gospel
of the Lord Jesus Christ I write to you believing that your article and beliefs
do endanger the flock of Christ, over which you are an overseer and I would be
failing in my responsibility should I remain silent and not approach you.
May I then go through some of the
points you mention?
A They
are both people of Christ.
The justification for saying this
is that both churches call upon the name of Christ and worship Him as Saviour
and Lord. My question to you is-
where is the evidence of this? To own him as Saviour and Lord is to call upon
no other name than his. This is demonstrated by rejecting all others, whether
Lords or Lordesses. Is this true of both churches? My evidence shows that the
present Pope John Paul II calls upon Mary the Queen of Heaven in prayer.
(Quotation from ÒReturn to PolandÓ
Collins)-
Before the Black Madonna of Jasn
Gora (where he had many times in the past whispered Òtotus tuusÓ i.e..
completely yours) he re- consecrated Poland to the immaculate heart of Mary as
the Queen of the popish kingdom.
He further told the image Ò I
consecrate to you the whole Church- every where and to the ends of the earth. I
consecrate to you all humanity; all men and women. All the peoples and nations.
I consecrate to you Europe and all the continents, I consecrate to you Rome and
Poland (who are) now united through your servant. Mother accept us all! Mother
do not abandon us! Mother be our Guide!
This shows a plain contradiction
to your first statement that the Church of Rome calls upon ChristÕs name as
Lord. How can it be said of him that he is a man of God of deep spirituality
worthy of our respect and a Christian. A man stooped in idolatry and spiritual
darkness.
B
They are both people of the Bible.
The evidence for this statement
is that since the Vatican Council, 20 years ago, the Roman Catholic Church has
put great emphasis on Bible study for individuals and groups. With a profound
effect.
But which Bible do they advance
to be the word of God is my question. My evidence is this that:
a) The tradition of the Roman Catholic
Church is that it has equal authority with the Bible and the Apocryphal books
must be considered as scripture. (Council of Trent 1545). Hence the Bible,
which the Catholics read, contains the Apocrypha because they require 11
Maccabees 12 verses 40 - 45 to teach and maintain their heretical doctrines of
prayers for the dead. (The Apocrypha must be accepted as scripture under the
penalty of a mortal sin).
b) The Bible is subject to the Church's
interpretation and the Douay or Confraternity i.e. those versions, which are
tailored to teach Catholic Doctrine, and notes are put forward as Scripture.
Again it is still a mortal sin for a Catholic to read a Protestant version
except the R.S.V. (Catholic Edition).
Hence a Catholic believer is not free to read the Scripture and
interpret it for himself. The Roman Catholic Church insists she is infallible
as the Pope directs it. So when a Catholic reads they must be directed by the
Church for interpretation
C Both
have the Sacraments of Baptism and Holy Communion.
This however is without
qualification. My evidence is that
the Roman Catholic Church have the Mass and a Sacrificing priest, both of which
are heretical and opposed to the Holy Communion or Lords Supper.
As for baptism, the Roman
Catholic Church maintains the doctrine of baptismal regeneration by which means
all past sins are forgiven. Hence
baptism is essential to salvation. (See Trent catechism- quote- Infants, unless
regenerated unto God by the grace of baptism, whether their parents are
Christian of infidels, are born to eternal misery and perdition). Hence we see
the Church of Rome has not the same Christian Ordinances but the reverse.
D
They are both people of the Holy
Spirit
Your evidence for this is that
the renewal movement has made a good impression upon the Roman Catholic Church
with the effect of bringing many Christians together even within the Church of
England. Here you place undoubted
reliance upon renewal and gathering together, imputing this work to the Holy
Spirit. Hence concluding the Spirit
of God makes no distinction, so who are we to put up doctrinal barriers
hindering our gathering together with whomever we please?
Here I would ask the following:
If both communions have the same Spirit of truth, light and love for Jesus
Christ why are they not lead in the same way. If the Holy Spirit says, Ò Come out of
her my people, that ye be not partakers of her sins" (Rev. 18 verse 4) what
spirit is it that keeps them in the Church of Rome or moves the Anglican
Community to seek such unity with her. Rome is an Apostate Church.
If the spirit which is in the
Roman Catholic Church, which leads them to blaspheme the Son of God in the
sacrifice of the mass and bow down to idols, and seek the aid of departed
saints, then what spirit moved Luther and the reformers to obey the truth and
leave Rome and the Papal Pontiff and establish true Christian Churches?
What biblical evidence do we have
that the Roman Catholic Church is possessed and moved by the Spirit of God.
You also express your personal
belief in respect of the Pope being no Anti- Christ, but the Church of England
and her founders held opposite views. Remember Cranmer, Latimer and Ridley. We
should surely keep as close to the Bible as these fathers in the faith, and
defend the little ones of ChristÕs fold against all error and preserve them as
a chaste virgin unto Him (2 Cor 11 verse 2)
Now my prayer to God is that
Christian men of Aylesbury be united in ChristÕs cause and truth having love
for the brethren and his dear children in the bonds of true Gospel unity and
peace.
May the Grace of our Lord Jesus
Christ be the cause, and the communion of the Holy Spirit the means, and life
of His Church now and forever more?
Yours in Christian concern,
David Clarke.
I am a Church member of Bierton
Strict and Particular Baptist Church
For
clarification regarding baptism of infants, the Mass and prayers for the dead
There is no mention of prayers for the dead in the
bible. The story of Dives and Lazarus states that there was no way that dead
Dives could talk and warn his brothers of his suffering. Praying for the dead is false teaching
and has no benefit for them. This teaching and goes against all what scripture
says.
Catholic doctrine on the Mass is: The bread and
wine is converted from mere bread and wine into the actual human flesh and
blood of Jesus. They teach that a miracle takes place by the hands and words of
an ordained Catholic priest. The terms Hocus Pocus comes from the magical words
of a magician, just like the words of the priest who uses them when he performs
this miracle. Then, only then can the priest offer up the Host (body and blood
of Jesus), as a sacrifice to God. They teach that this is a real
sacrifice, not the blood of an animal, but the actual body and blood of Jesus,
the Son of God. They teach it is only by this means that menÕs sins are
removed. The person partaking in this ceremony, or Mass, is required to believe
this doctrine absolutely without question, on the pain of eternal damnation, if
they donÕt. It is wrong.
The bible states clearly that Jesus died once and
for all his peopleÕs sins and for all time, on the cross at Calvary. Those on
that occasion, the sins of the whole world, (Jew and Gentiles) were removed by
the sacrifice of His body and shed blood. This sacrifice is not repeated and
can never be repeated. It was a once and for all sacrifice. Now there are no
more sacrifices only spiritual ones, and all Christians are Priest unto God,
who is able to offer sacrifices of praise and thanks giving to God. It over
this was issue that the Reformation in Europe and the England fought its
battles.
The bible only refers to believersÕ baptism. Upon
confession of faith the believer is dipped and comes up out of the water so
symbolize what has already taken place in his life. Baptism does not do
anything to a person of infuse some super natural
Second birth. Catholic doctrine teaches that when
any person is baptized (sprinkled with Holy water) a supernatural new birth
occurs. Unless this supernatural birth takes place they are not saved from the
damnation of hell. So it is important to them to baptize their children and
adults who were not sprinkled, as a child, as only than are the born again.
Christian teaching is that the new birth is a
supernatural act of God the Holy Spirit Himself. As a result that person has
desires to seek God and are able to believe the gospel and follow Christ.
Catholic doctrine teaches unless we are baptized,
by a Priest we are not born again and under the curse of eternal damnation.
Those Children who die in infancy are damned.
Like
wise the Mass. unless we partake of it and believe it we are under the same
condemnation.
In May 1983 I was engaged to preach at the
church in Bierton on Sunday 5th June. I have always had that desire to catch
men for Jesus Christ but how do you do it? I was now living in Aylesbury and a
lot of my former friends were still in and around Aylesbury, having no hope and
without God in the world. I felt
compelled to do some thing to get the message of the love of God in Jesus
Christ to them somehow.
The Bucks
Herald Thursday 19th
May 1983 price 8d.
David fishes for men -
Bierton Meeting 5th June 1983
Jesus
had saved me and now that I was preaching at Bierton Church I decided to go and
ask the Bucks Herald, a local newspaper, to give me some free advertising. I
simply went to the Bucks Herald office and told them my story. I said I wanted to reach all my old
friends to tell them about the Lord on the 5th of June and to say that they
were all welcome.
I was prepared to advertise but I know I was cheeky
in asking for it free. Little did I
realise it but I was giving them their front-page news for the week. Before I
knew it the photographer was out to see me and a reporter was taking notes for
a story. It all happened so quickly
The story appeared as above on the front page
of the Bucks Herald on Thursday May 19th 1983. This sermon was video recorded
and can be viewed on our website www.davidolores.co.uk. Or www.Youtube.com channel davidolores
What happened next
I was landed with a problem as I did not
expect any of this to happen and I hadnÕt informed the church and so I felt the
need to explain what had happened in case it offended anyone. I felt relieved
when no one was upset.
I felt the need to be very careful because in
October 1982 I had already found some opposition from one part of the church
and I was not out to cause trouble. They were against a certain good minister
and visiting preacher because he had used the term Evangelical Repentance and
that he read the Evangelical Times.
I had defended this man in every way I knew how, but for the sake of
peace the church decided not to ask this man to preach again. I was very sad
and disturbed by this and I believed from that time Satan was provoked by my
actions. There was more to come. For
this reason I felt the need to be extra careful.
The following week I went fishing - looking in
the pubs and visiting people's homes looking for my former friends in crime, in
order to bring them along to hear what Jesus had done for me and could do for
them.
It wasnÕt long before the national news
network were on to me and wanted the story which I believe appeared in one of
the national newspapers. I was disappointed in the write up because I felt it
was trivialising the reality of what was happening this is the official
transcript:
Dear David, HereÕs what we put out on the
national Telex service. Looking forward to seeing you at the service June 5th.
Yours Peter Game
83-05-25 16:43
462 Title Service From
Peter Game, OX and Bucks NA
Catch: Service
Reformed crook David Clarke is hot on the
trail of his mates in crime. HeÕs turned detective to trace thieves, drug
pushers, burglars, bandits and drunks in a massive one man round-up aimed at
changing their lives. And it could result in the most bizarre meeting of shady
characters a town has ever known.
David, 33, wants to pack them all into a tiny
church at Bierton, Bucks, and tell them how God saved him from spending a life
behind bars. And if the Local CID force at nearby Aylesbury, Bucks wants to
turn up and join in the hymn singing too they are welcome. David, a married man with two children
from Aylesbury Road, Bierton, is a lay preacher in the Baptist church. He said, ÒGod helped me and can help all
my old buddies tooÓ.
David, an Electronics lecturer at a
Polytechnic explained: Ò I Ôve already persuaded some old villainous pals to
come along. I want to pack the church with criminals, but itÕs going to be a
tough jobÓ.
The former thief and drug user left Borstal
aged 18 and decided to lead a life of luxury based on crime. ÒI was in a car
ringing business, thieving vehicles and knocking them out again,Ó he confessed.
Ò IÕve broken into an old peoples home to steal a colour telly, taken garage
equipment, nicked from tills, walked off with speed boat engines, and taken
drugs. IÕve even sold drugs and got involved in permissive sex. Ò There were
times when I used to keep an axe and a mallet in my car just in case. Now it
has all changed.
His life took a drastic change when he Òmet Jesus ChristÓ during LSD trip and
joined the Baptist Church. And when detectives questioned him about an offence
he did not commit he confessed to 24 he did carry out. He added Ò IÕve had a
clean sheet for 13 years. IÕm not going to preach the Bible at the bad boys ---
just show them how God helped me and let them make up their own mindsÓ.
Ends.
Memo to news desk: Service on June 5th. We
believe this man is absolutely genuine in his actions.
Memo Ends
Outcome of the meeting
The meeting went ahead as planned but not many
people turned up. I heard that some
did not come because they did not wish to be associated with each other. Pat
Jones and Malcolm Kirkham were now enemies; Pat Jones had not long ago been
around to Malcolm's house to blast him with a shotgun. Malcolm had been involved
in drug pushing and other things.
Mike West said he wasnÕt prepared to sit or be
associated with drug pushers and criminals etc.
I had spoken as faithfully as I could of the
Lord Jesus Christ and I can remember saying from the pulpit how good God had been
to me, blessing me with a good job, a wife, a nice house, children, being in
church and many friends. What more
could a natural man want? I had comments made by several people that God had
really blessed me providentially and I knew it.
On
reflection it seems from this time I was battered from every way.
First my church membership was lost, then my health, which affected my
call to preach. Then my children were attacked, then my home was lost, and then
my job was lost. Then my faith in God was lost which led to me giving up on my
marriage. I write about all these events in the next chapters.
As I write this it reminds me of the Bible
story of Job who was truly blessed of God, and then Satan came seeking to
destroy his faith. God gave Satan
leave to do it but in the end Job is better off than at his beginning. Thanks
be to God. I hope my story will reflect the same faithfulness of God to me.
This meeting was a video and can be viewed on
our website:
http://www.davidolores.co.uk or www.Youtube.com Channel Davidolores
I preach a moving sermon
After the issue regarding the Holy Table I
wrote to Mrs E. but she returned the letter unread. She informed me that she knew the truth
and nothing would change her mind. See my letter in article ÒThe Bierton Crisis"
On the 26th October 1983 I had the
responsibility to lead the prayer meeting on the Wednesday evening and speak from
the scriptures, as I felt led. On this occasion four of the congregation got up
and left, my sermon was obviously a moving sermon. See article ÒBierton CrisisÓ
for the full sermon.
Essence of the sermon:
I explained that I had been called by grace 14
years ago and I testified to them of the goodness of God, in saving me from a
life of crime, drug taking etc. I
had learned about Jesus through reading the Bible. I told them that I had come
to the Bierton church because they too had knowledge of the truth of Jesus Christ,
and his death for our sins. I told them of His justifying righteousness and the
Sovereignty of God in all his work towards us.
I said that I believed God had called me to
preach the Gospel of Jesus Christ and I had responsibilities to them all to
make known what God had shown me.
I said the building was not the ÒHouse of
GodÓ. There were no such things as holy tables etc. and we must not reverence
these things.
At this point a member of the church shouted
out. ÒWell, is not this the house of GodÓ pointing to the roof of the building.
Then another rose to their feet saying this is just like a church meeting and
walked out. Then three other persons, Mr King and his wife and John Snuggs got
up and left.
I was staggered and alarmed for I had not
raised my voice nor spoke severely or in a hard way. Never the less the truth
as revealed in Jesus Christ had provoked this reaction. I then recalled a dream
that I had.
The Holy Table
About August 1983, I took my children to
church and I had my brother's daughter with me - she would have been about 5
years old. After the Sunday school
I happened to place her cardigan on the table at the front of the chapel, this
was before the morning service (I say meeting). This was the table used when
conducting church affairs and for the communion. The pulpit was behind this,
where the preacher stood and preached. The table was where the hymns were
announced and given out.
Mrs E. in her lovely manner came up to me and
said I was to take the cardigan off ÒThe Holy TableÓ. I was shocked by this remark. What was
this all about- we now have a Holy Table?
I was dismayed at such heresy and after the morning meeting I asked the
church members to stay behind whilst I established what was going on. I began
to realise I was unearthing more religious errors, which would have to be dealt
with sooner than later.
I asked the few members of the church, in
front of Mrs E., about the ÒHoly tableÓ.
I said there was no such thing as a holy table in the New Testament. This was religious error just like the
Roman Catholics and their superstitions. I said I would not stand by and let
this error go unchecked. To my surprise and disappointment Miss G Ellis became
angry and walked out saying she was fed up with it all. She said she would not want a pair of
shoes put on the kitchen table and she walked out in anger.
I thought to my self, we are in two different
worlds. What was going on in the
minds of the church and congregation at Bierton? I felt so taken up with zeal for the cause
of God and truth that I could have taken a large axe and cut the table up in
front of every one. I decided to do it another way. I would use the Òsword of
the spiritÓ.
Escorted out of St. Albans Abbey after a protest
In October 1983 I was informed that officials
of St. Albans Abbey, a Church of England establishment, were for the first time
in 400 years giving official recognition to the practice of the Roman Catholic
Mass. This was probably as a direct result of the Papal visit to Britain in
1982.
|
The Bucks Herald THURSDAY, 19th OCTOBER 1983
|
|
Anti-Pope
Rumpus in Abbey
By Stevie Brooks
|
Photo 1 Escorted out of St
Albans Abbey October 1983
They had invited a Roman Catholic Father
Plourde to serve in the Anglican Church and he was to offer Mass on a regular
basis at the St. Albans Abbey. This was in fact illegal and against the
principles of the Act of Settlement.
No one seemed to care or could see what was
happening. I had studied the
teaching of the Roman Catholic Church and found it in very serious error.
I felt constrained to support any kind of
protest just to let people know what was going on throughout the world. The
Mass had no place in the Christian faith.
I decided to take my two children Isaac John
(5) and Esther Jane (4) with me to
protest against this evil.
I attended the meeting on a Saturday afternoon
and before very long a Mr Scott Pearson of the British Council of Protestant
Churches stood up and made a formal protest. He was escorted out.
I waited a while and just before the meeting
resumed I stood up and made my protest. I too was escorted out of the meeting
with Isaac and Esther in my hands.
This event hit the headline news again in
Aylesbury and also in the
local news in Luton these articles appear as follows:
NEWS/GAZETTE, October
20, 1983
TeacherÕs protest in Abbey
A Luton college lecturer was ejected from St.
Albans Abbey after a stand-up row in the middle of a special service.
David Clarke was escorted from the building
after protesting about involvement of a Roman Catholic priest in the
proceedings.
This week 34- year old Mr Clarke, who
lecturers in electronics at Luton College of Higher Education, Park Square,
told why he had challenged the welcoming of Father Robert Plourde to the
service.
He said: To have a Roman Catholic priest
appointed as an assistant in an Anglican Church is contrary to the Church of
England articles of religion.
The service had been stopped by a protest from
Rev. Scott Pearson, the Baptist minister of Maulden, representing the British
Council of Protestant Christian Churches.
He left the Abbey, but before the ceremony
could resume father- of- two Mr Clarke stood up to voice his opinions.
Ò I told the congregation that the involvement
of a Popish person was against Christian principles and offensive. I was
escorted out of the Abbey with my two children.
He said the welcoming of Father Plourde and
the Methodist minister the Rev Donald Lee on Saturday last week was part of a
move to bring the churches together.
Mr Clarke of Aylesbury Road, Bierton
Buckinghamshire, who sometimes preaches in the Luton Area, said he was saved
from a life of crime and drug taking through Jesus Christ when He spoke to him
when experiencing a bad LSD Trip.
I had some opposition and response via
The Bucks
Herald, Thursday
20th October 1983
An
evil wind is blowing
Sir, - It was with a feeling of sick despair,
all too often felt in these times, that I read in this week's issue of your
paper the account of David ClarkeÕs conduct in St Albans Abbey.
In his position as a preacher at his local
church he has maybe raised doubt in the minds of many and laid his own church
open to criticism and most unfairly.
There is an evil wind blowing through the
world and the despairing cries of victims caught in the midst of sectarian
wars. Above their cries are heard louder voices declaiming ÒWe do this for GodÓ
and each names God in different tongues.
Men and women of good faith striving for peace
and brotherhood brought about the delicate and vulnerable progress towards
unification of the various denominations slowly and arduously. Such a balance
could be disturbed and for what purpose?
Search the Bible that you are so prominently
featured holding, Mr Clarke, and there you find that Jesus preached love,
compassion and tolerance -. Not the condemning of hatred against those of us,
of every faith and creed, who are still striving towards further enlightenment.
ChristÕs teachings are simple and clear cut.
Are you certain you are following the true leader?
Mrs Cecilia Brooks
30 York Place, Aylesbury.
Playing ÒFantastic tricksÓ
Sir, - Like myself, many of your readers must
have been filled with dismay to see your recent headlines ÒAnti - Pope rumpus
in AbbeyÓ.
They must also have regretted that, when the
two great Christian leaders, the Pope and the Archbishop of Canterbury, are
striving to promote peace and understanding between religious denominations,
well- meaning fanatics should seek to destroy their endeavours.
Half the cold blooded murders in Ireland wear
the cloak of religion as elsewhere in the world, whilst the Russians persecute
Baptists and the Mujahedeen, and in Iran the unfortunate BahaÕis - men, women
and children - are martyred for their faith.
Do we want the days of the Tudors to come back
and flames rekindled at Amersham or Oxford?
No one should suppose that tolerance and
indifference are one and the same. The tolerance in which I believe means
respect for others and for all GodÕs creation - man and beast and plant.
It also means love for oneÕs neighbour but, as
Shakespeare wrote; Man, proud man, dressed in a little brief authority, plays
such fantastic tricks before high heaven and makes the angels weepÓ.
K.M.D. Dunbar
Firethorn
London Road
Aston Clinton
Buchinghamshire.
The Lord through Malcolm Kirkham encouraged
me. I was moved to write my reply to the newspaper and it appeared on the 27th
October 1983, which was as follows:
Cannot Remain Silent
Sir, - I did not wish to cause hatred,
violence or anger when making my protest over a popish person now conducting
the mass at the Anglican Church at St. Albans.
Can it not be seen my actions were of those of
a loving and faithful Christian? All Christians believe, Òfaithful are the
wounds of a friend Ò.
My protest was based on the fact that the
Roman Catholic Mass has no place in the Christian Church since it is a
blasphemy against the Lord Jesus Christ. (Article 31 Church of England).
The Roman Catholic Church proclaims that a
person cannot be saved unless he partakes of the sacrifice of the mass, nor can
he experience the salvation of the Lord Jesus Christ.
My concern was for those newly seeking the
Lord Jesus Christ and I wished to indicate to them the devices of those who
should know better.
I have a wife and family and twins on the
way. I have a responsible lecturing
post and teach people of all ages.
I am experienced in danger and believe I should point out such dangers
to the innocent.
I am currently teaching the Gospel to a now
reformed drug pusher, criminal and convict. I am trying to direct him and his
wife to the Lord Jesus Christ the Saviour and not the Mass or any other device
of men.
To Cecilia Brooks and K.M. Dunbar, who believe
many were horrified and dismayed, may I say I think not, but be consoled with
the words of a wise man (Acts 5.38) ÒRefrain from these fears and anxieties for
if my actions be merely of myself it will come to naught: but if it be of God,
ye cannot over throw it, lest happily, ye be found even to speak evil of the
evil wind, that is said to be blowing, when in fact it is the Spirit of God.
As a preacher of ChristÕs love to men, I
cannot remain silent but must oppose those kisses, which, though ever so sweet,
are deceitful.
My home is open to all that are genuinely
seeking the truth in the Lord Jesus Christ.
You may also come to see the church at Bierton
to hear the Word of God spoken.
DAVID CLARKE (Minister of the Gospel)
27/20/83
Rescuing Michael's Roles Royce
Whilst these things were happening my brother
got into serious difficulties. His
business was failing and he became very depressed - so much so that he did not
know how to sort some of his problems. He came to me one day explaining he had
sold his Roles Royce to a person in Milton Keynes for £7000 and he was still
owed £3,500. He was too ill to sort it out. The person kept giving one excuse
after another as to why he could not pay the money.
I felt indignant and was not prepared to sit
down and see someone take advantage of my brother because he was ill and could
not sort his problems out.
I said to Michael "Come on, I will go
with you and get it sorted". I
dressed in my Crombie overcoat and suite and looked very official and we went
to this person's house in Milton Keynes.
I told Michael not to worry I would deal with any problems. When the
person answered the door, early one morning, I said who I was and what we had
come for. I told him that I was a Christian and we intended to sort out the
issue with the Roles Royce. The bloke looked at me 'gone out.'
Michael decided he wanted the car back and so
it was agreed that he would pay back the £3500 in cash and take the car. I found out that the previous deal
had been done between another person as well as this man and the car was in his
garage somewhere else. Also a problem with a finance company had arisen. This
all seamed straight forward and we left with the intention (or so I thought) to
return with the £3500 cash and collect the car that day.
My brother explained that he understood that
these men had raised money through a finance company and he had only got half
the money. I then feared if he gave up the £3500 cash to them he would loss
that as well and the finance company would claim ownership of the car. He had
already gone to the police but the police said it was not a problem they could
deal with so my brother felt real down about the whole issue. He said he could
not remember signing any forms with a finance company but I began to feel the
case was not as straight as it first seemed. Michael kept saying he could not
remember what had happened.
I got the impression Michael had been party to
some deal and was keeping some thing from me and these men had just tucked him
up for £3500. And they now had no money to pay. Michael has informed me years
later that he did not know about this and these men took him advantage of,
whilst he was ill.
Michael decided to get the car back so he paid
a couple of his heavy friends £250 to go and collect the car. Sure enough the
next day the Roles Royce was in bed in my garage at Bierton, out of the way. I
felt much better even though my brother didnÕt. This did not stop my brother worrying
because apparently there was more to it than first met the eye - there was a
problem with the finance company. I
felt let down by Michael for not telling me all this. Had he told me all this
in the beginning instead of being devious. (Michael now tells me I was wrong) I
could have helped him. In the end
the finance company contacted Michael and he by then realised the car belonged
to the finance company. Michael, through not being able to cope with the worry,
agreed to return the car as he realised the deal they had done was not
straightforward.
This was all out of my hands and on reflection
I think it would have been better to keep the car and give the finance company
the £3500 but at the time I was not able to sort the issue out for Michael
because he had kept things from me.
I felt upset for my brother because he had
lost his car and all that money.
We are always wise after an event.
The events, which took place in Bierton Church, had
convinced me that SatanÕs kingdom was being plundered. I had been instrumental in causing no
small stir in the church. By
October 1983 of that year the church was dysfunctional. I had been engaged to preach and conduct
the communion service but felt unable and that it was wrong for me to do so. I
believed that until the issues were sorted out and the church was in order and
of one mind, in the Lord it would be wrong for me to conduct the communion
service.
Mrs E., the person who had objected to the term's
evangelical repentance, of course had pointed the finger at me. It was said that I had caused these
difficulties since April 1993, because I had written to Mr King, a member of
our church and a preacher. Mr King
had been advancing views of general redemption, which was opposed to particular
redemption. Our articles of Faith
clearly stated a belief in particular redemption. I had attempted to correct these errors
by speaking to Mr King and finally writing to him. This letter was said by Mr
King to be Òfull of condemnationÓ
and Mr King had read parts of that letter to the church before he resigned.
This letter is recorded in ÒThe Bierton Crisis".
Not only this but the issue of ladies wearing hats
had surfaced (not that I was
against women wearing a head covering), and then there was the issue of ÒThe
Holy TableÓ.
Finally the issue of the Law and the Gospel
surfaced. It was now being
maintained that the Sabbath Day
(the Mosaic Sabbath) was to be kept by everyone. Where as I had taught
that the Lord Jesus Christ is the sum and substance of the Sabbath. He is the
rest for the people of God and we must enter into this rest, not the Sabbath
day according to the Law. I asserted every day was the Sabbath. It seemed to get worse.
I actually felt the Old Serpent and I was about to
stamp on it. Looking back I realise
I had been contending not against flesh and blood but against those
principalities and powers, which had kept many believers in bondage and chains.
I felt in the end it was I who was causing the
trouble, but I now believe on reflection that was satanic suggestion. I had been standing for the truths of
the Lord Jesus Christ but had met with all kinds of false religious spirits,
which I named and opposed.
This
resulted in me seceding from the Bierton Strict and Particular Baptist Church
on 26th June 1984. I did this
because I saw no hope if people wished to remain in darkness. I could not act
in faith. A full and detailed, accurate, account of the events leading to my
secession is found in my first book, ÒThe
Bierton CrisisÓ ISBN number
0-9539473-2-7, which will prove to be a great help to any one struggling
with these issues. Available from:
http://www.davidolores.co.uk
Having left the Bierton church I found it very
difficult to adjust to our new situation. I considered going to another church
but which one was the question. In the meantime we met at home and I preached
to my family and friends on Sunday mornings. I felt I had been under siege and my
home was now my refuge. I was now preaching in the same room that Gordon Ferguson
had preached during 1982.
I did however believe that we should be in a local
church but where could we join? I was very aware of the failings in the Gospel
Standard way of things, as at Bierton.
Bierton church had in fact fallen from the way of grace of God. Even
though their words were full of the language, their Articles of Faith were
clear that the Gospel is the rule of life for the believer but in practice the
Law of Moses was their law. Also
the position of their added Articles was very shaky and I found them
inappropriate as a confession of faith. We found ourselves unchurched, and I
believed we should do something about it.
I sought God in prayer and felt we should be
prepared to move house and job in order to be in a church where God wanted us
to be.
David Oldham, a minister from Leicester, wrote to
me and asked if he could help. He
invited me to spend the day with him in Leicester, to talk through things and
he was a great help and support to me.
I valued his offer of help very much and I thanked him to this day for
his kindness.
Having left the Bierton Strict and Particular
Baptist Church I was full well aware of the New Testament order of Christian
life. Scripture teaches us that we should not forsake the assembling of
ourselves together (Heb. 10 verse 25) but rather be in fellowship with other
believers. I sought therefore God in prayer and looked out for direction from
the Lord as to where and what I should do.
At this time I met an old acquaintance, a Christian
man called Dr John Verna. I had first met him when I first became a Christian,
at the age of 20. He was a Doctor working at Stoke Mandeville Hospital, working
in particular with paraplegic patients. He used to help with the hospital Christian
outreach meetings, which were held every month at the hospital. Several
Christians from various churches had joined a group of Christians from the
Assemblies of God Church in Aylesbury to reach patients detained in Hospital.
Each month patients were individually invited to the Saturday night gospel
meeting held specifically, for patients and staff, in the Archery Unit of the
paraplegics. They would be collected from the various wards in their beds and a
different speaker each month would give a gospel address and we would pray for
them.
Dr John Verna and his wife helped and encouraged
this group of Christians.
I talked with John about my position at Bierton
Church and he seemed keen to help and support me. He introduced me to a dear
friend of his, a Mr Richard Bolt, from a place in Kent near Matfield. John
Verna believed Richard Bolt to have an apostolic ministry.
He and Richard Bolt came to my home and we spent
quite some time together and I was encouraged by them both to continue to seek
God for direction. Richard Bolt was
a very straightforward man, direct, encouraging and thoughtful. He was a man of conviction and I believed
he had the fear of the Lord. I
respected him for his honesty and sincerity. It was good to meet him.
I expressed my misgivings about my dealings in the
Pentecostal Churches and my new position in the Strict Baptist churches.
Both groups, it had occurred to me, went to
extremes. One held to the belief in the gifts of the supernatural and Baptism
in the Holy Ghost (Spirit), and looked for, and expected, manifestations of
spiritual gifts in believers, including the working of miracles (Pentecostal).
They were very subjective and looked inward to themselves for the evidence of
God working in and through them.
Whilst the other group (Strict Baptists) denied the operation of
supernatural spiritual gifts, such as speaking in tongues and gifts of healing
etc. but rather looked inwardly to the evidence of God's dealing with them by
how unworthy they might feel to receive any thing from God. They thought that
doubts of salvation were a good sign and an evidence of faith rather than
presumption. Both groups depended
on God the Holy Ghost to work and save. I had concluded both groups could go to
extremes.
Both Richard Bolt and John were convinced of the
supernatural baptism in the Holy Ghost (spirit) and looked for and expected God
to operate the nine gifts of the Spirit including the working of miracles
according to Mark 16 verse 17. They believed in the fullness of New Testament
Christianity and I was keen to learn and hear even though I was cautious and
careful.
One thing I observed was that Richard had lost many
of his teeth and I assumed this was because he had believed God for healing and
looked to God for divine health. I thought to my self that if Christians were
to expect and experience divine healing in this day and age then how come
Richard had so few teeth. I did not ask him about his teeth, as I did not know
him sufficiently to ask such a direct and personal question.
Whilst speaking to Dr John Verna he informed me
that he and his wife had met with John Metcalf of Penn, near High Wycombe,
Buckinghamshire and that some of the people there often had a stall on the
Market Square in Aylesbury, selling Christian literature and that the Bibles
sold were only the Authorised King James version.
I was interested because I had recently picked up a
small tract written by John Metcalf called ÒThe Gospel of GodÓ which was about
the claims of the Papacy and John Paul II.
I desired to meet John Metcalf because I understood and agree with his
writings in the tract. This had been most helpful and encouraging to me.
John Verna and Richard Bolt left and I felt encouraged
by our meeting and I decided to go and visit the Church at Penn so as to meet
Mr John Metcalfe.
One Sunday evening I took my daughter Esther, she
must have been about 3 or 4 years old, and we drove to Penn and found the old
chapel called TylerÕs Green Chapel. Old-fashioned metal railings enclosed it
and the gate was locked with no way in to the front door. It felt strange
because the people were inside and a meeting was being held. I thought to
myself had this door been locked deliberately to give a psychological shock to
late comers and the feeling of being locked out as would be the case of the 5
foolish virgins mentioned by Jesus in Matth 25 verse 2).
It was damp outside and getting dark but I was
determined to meet Mr Metcalf so Esther and I waited outside in then road until
the meeting had finished. Eventually the meeting ended and the people filled
out sedately and quietly. I took courage and walked up to a man I believed to
be John Metcalfe. Not too tall, well dressed, with a cream or white raincoat
and white or grey hair. He was very courteous when I introduced my self and
explained my intent. I asked him about the chapel gates being locked for the
locked gates and he smiled when I explained my thoughts about the 5 foolish
virgins, he then explained that they locked the gate to prevent vandalism
during the meetings as they had had trouble in the past.
He informed his daughter and noted my persistence
in waiting and that I had read his tract on John Paul the II, which seemed to
encourage him. He then invited me back to his home for supper.
Esther and I were received graciously and we
exchanged much conversation. Mr
MetcalfeÕs daughters made a fuss of Esther and gave her chocolate biscuits. I
was invited to share my testimony of how I became a Christian and I
deliberately decided to tell all that took place on the night of my conversion,
holding nothing back.
(See full account of my conversion). All was very quiet and nothing was said
that I remember. I explained my present situation at Bierton Strict Baptist
Church and the issues I had encountered regarding Particular Redemption, the
Law and Gospel, Added Articles and finally Holy Tables. I was asked about my
work and family and I explained I was a Lecturer at Luton College and a
minister of the Church.
I felt greatly encouraged and noticed how nicely
the house was kept. The garden was
lovely, spacious, and it was beautiful. The house was old and charming just
like a royal house, and John Metcalfe kept an Alsatian as a guard dog.
John Metcalfe was a charming person, a man of
conviction, - decisive and uncompromising.
He seemed determined to follow God. I liked him and admired his
qualities. I felt I could learn many things from this man. He had dealing with
the Rev Ian Paisley but opposed him for unknown reasons. He despised the title
Doctor and therefore Dr John Gill for accepting such a title. Also he had known
Dr Martin Lloyd Jones and other eminent Christian ministers, but opposed many
things.
After that evening I returned another time with my
wife and we were invited to attend the meeting at TylerÕs Green Chapel one
Sunday morning when Mr Metcalfe would be preaching. It was arranged that one of
the members of the church would look after our four children whist we attended
that morning meeting. This we did. It was a remarkable sermon and I had never
heard such powerful preaching. I
was greatly encouraged and realised later that the substance of his sermon was
contained in his publication Ò MessiahÓ. The sermon was eloquent, powerful and
I believed very faithful to the word of God. I was greatly encouraged and admired the
man and wanted to support his work.
After the meeting I was asked by Mr Metcalfe how I
had got on and he seemed to be looking for feedback. I had become unaccustomed to give any
kind of feedback, which could give rise to puff the old man up (rightly or
wrongly), so I found this situation awkward. I kept quiet, even though I was
moved, and I wanted to tell my friends to come and hear this man speak the
things of God.
It was shortly after this that Paul Rowland, a minister
in the Strict Baptist Church, who also worked for the Trinitarian Bible
Society, came to preach at Bierton Church.
He was a great advocate of the Free Scottish Presbyterian Church system
and by conviction would only sing Psalms, in Christian meetings. I spoke to
Paul about John, and shortly afterwards we were invited to visit John together.
Paul and I went one evening to John MetcalfeÕs home
and we were received well and our coats taken to be hung up. We were invited to sit in a large lounge
rather like a large study and library. It was beautifully decorated and very
elegant. John Metcalfe was dressed in a smart suit and tie.
John Metcalfe spoke about his work and recent
publications the Psalms, Spiritual Songs, and Hymns of the New Testament. Paul
Rowland got involved regarding the Presbyterian Church and the Scottish Psalm
Book. They soon spoke on doctrinal issues regarding the Law of Moses and legal
Righteousness. John Metcalfe said
that he opposed the views put forward by the Calvinistic Presbyterians who
maintained that the righteousness of Christ (that which he wrought by obedience to
Law) was our justifying righteousness before God. He said he had had a lot of
opposition from the Scottish Churches because he maintained the righteousness
of Christ is not mentioned once in the New Testament, only the Righteousness of
God. This righteousness of which he spoke was distinct from the righteousness
of the Law.
I was not fully aware at the time of the
significance to this distinction and at first did not understand the issue. How
ever the evening went well and was very stimulating and not without surprise. John
Metcalfe posed a question as though it was a riddle asking, was the fruit that
Adam eat good or bad. It was as though he did not expect us to answer because
he reminded us that God had said his work was very good. I knew the answer
straight away I did not need to think but thinking there must be some reason
behind the question I awaited and Paul answered. This answer was not
satisfactory to Mr Metcalfe and the issue was discussed. I did not answer
because shortly after this John Metcalfe reached behind a curtain and brought
out a shotgun in a dramatic gesture and proceeded to take out the cartridges.
He was not amused when I laughed in amazement. He said he was suspicious of our
visit, that the IRA had threatened him and he had to be very careful. He also
had just been informed that our pockets had been searched to check up on us and
that tobacco had been found. Mr John
Metcalfe later used this against the person using derogatory comments.
Our visit to Mr Metcalfe was one not to be
forgotten and was quite remarkable.
This cause me to consider many things and I tried
to understand and unfathomed the discussion regarding Justification. I had at that time been considering the
view of eternal justification of Gods elect. I knew of the controversy of Antinomians
and the Legalists. I had shared
with John Metcalfe a love of the writings of William Huntington regarding Martin
LutherÕs issue of justification by faith.
It was the misunderstanding between John Metcalfe
and Paul Rowland regarding justification that made me considers the issues rose. I understood the truth to be as follows:
1. Gods Act of Justification when viewed from the point
before the world existed was from all eternity. In one sense the elect were justified
from all eternity (in the mind of God) however the work and merits of a
justifying righteousness were to be performed in time by none other than our Lord
Jesus Christ.
2. He was
righteous by virtue of his person and spotless humanity. He did not become righteous by any works
of the Law of Moses. I understood that it was in His righteousness that sinners
are clothed and accepted as righteous before God. This being the righteousness of God
imputed to all that believes, which was the source and merit of a believerÕs
justification. It could only be brought about by blood and made effectual by
blood, found in the death of Jesus in the cross. By His death our sins are
removed and we are made clean from all our sins. (Rom 5 verse 9).
In actual experience however the sentence of
Justification takes place upon the person believing in God. It is received by
faith and takes place in the conscience when first we receive the Lord Jesus
Christ as our saviour. This is justification by faith. (Rom 5, verse 1).
3. From this
springs the joy of salvation, which of course involves the senses of the soul.
This experience results from justification.
I learned later that this was not the issue with
Paul Roland and John Metcalfe.
The follow Saturday morning I had a telephone call
from John Metcalfe. I did not
realise it was him at first, thinking it was Dr John Verna and I addressed him
as John. This did not go down well he said I was being too familiar and I must
address him as Mr Metcalfe. Needless to say I felt awkward and I felt this man
was being unnecessarily rude. We went on to speak about the feedback he wanted
and I said I had things to say but would rather wait until I saw him face to
face. He became very impatient and
demanded I say there and then on the telephone what I had to say. I felt threatened and awkward and was
not at ease at all. So I decided I would tell him what I had found awkward and
unacceptable, first explaining that there was an error in the tract he had
written.
His reply was, ÓLook mate, I have more theology
than you will have in 1000 yearsÓ.
He said that my testimony about what Jesus had done for me was
disgusting and that I was in the same danger as the Pharisees, who blasphemed
the Holy Ghost during the ministry of Jesus. There the conversation ended.
During all this time my wife had been concerned
about me, as she had notice how much effect he had had on me.
That following week I was away studying at
Durham University, as I was a student with the Open University. There I wrote
Mr John Metcalfe.
26th July 1984
Dear Mr Metcalfe
Further to our telephone conversation I have
decided against meeting with you when I return from Durham.
The reasons:
You do not allow the children of God to do as the
apostle exhorts: Ò Despise not prophesying. Prove all things; hold fast that which
is good. Abstain from all appearance
of evilÓ 1 Thess 5 verse 20 - 22.
My words to you on the telephone were that on the
one hand I could rejoice with you, thanking God, for here was a man I respected
and who trusted in the things of God (for various reasons) whilst on the other
hand I got cross with you and could take extreme dislike to you for what
appeared to be a sinister way, which I took exception to.
Now, you did not inquire as to what I meant, but
rather justified all your ways, methods and actions by stating your beliefs,
saying that for the first time you had come under the preaching of the word of
God in the unction of the Holy Ghost and that as the opponents of Christ
questioned the spirit by which the Lord Jesus performed his mighty works, so I,
as an individual, came very close to that fearful condition.
You then stated your beliefs in respect of my own
testimony; either you rejected what I said as true or was in doubt as to its
reality and substance (correct me if I am wrong).
I am sorry if I offended you and your family when I
gave my testimony, please forgive me. However I am not the only believer to
speak of vile things. Deut 28 verse
53, Lam 2 verse 26 and Hos 1 verse 2 and many more do so too. Do you therefore impute guilt to these
also as you do me? Nevertheless what I said was true and an actual account and
not as you seem to imply an opportunity to speak of myself. For that true
account I offer no apology.
If you reject what I said as truth I protest I am
no liar. And if you are in doubts as to the reality well I cannot add to or
diminish what the Lord Jesus works, or works not. You are entitled to your opinion but
pray give me the same liberty to judge you, your preaching, writings and
assertions.
I still do not understand your impatience with my
questioning you regarding the statement in the tract ÒThe Gospel of GodÓ.
You say the issue at the Reformation was: Given the
merits of Christ's person, how are they imputed and his person imparted. Page
33. I said to you that I could
understand the statement of Ò the merits of ChristÕs person being imputed Ò but
not his person imparted.
I gave you room to explain, owned an ignorance and
awaited further enlightenment and even said I would reconsider the statement.
Here however you said you knew more theology than I ever would in a 1000 years,
given it were possible I should be granted such time; called me mate and kept
me at a formal distance.
Well, be that as it may, I still await a
theological precise statement, whether it is in realms of high and heavenly
things or in terrestrial things.
I say that persons are communed with and not, with
natures imparted. Neither persons nor natures imputed. I would suggest your
tract should read: Given the merits of ChristÕs person, how are these imputed
and His nature imparted. I say I was not seeking to find faults; it stuck out
like a sore thumb, just as my incorrect spelling may do.
Here again I beg your pardon and apologise for any
seeming impertinence. I say to you this behaviour of yours displays no
humility, which you say is lacking in me. I
have no intention of being your enemy.
You said at one stage you wondered if I were
teachable. Well I am allowing my feelings to act in judgement over these
issues. This I do as you set the example and encouragement or have I got this
wrong as well?
I get excited for you over the production of Psalms
and Hymnbook and would like to have seen them in use. I hope my letter to you now will not
cause a breach, which will prevent it.
I have read your tract 2 and have found both 1 and
2 very relevant, pertinent and well written. They search me; particularly tract
2 and I find I have walked the path of your tract. May they be blessed of God
for the furtherance of the Gospel and the purpose for which they were written?
I could comment on Tract 3 about Taylor Brethren
but not unless you wish.
Yours very Sincerely,
David Clarke.
Following this letter in hot pursuit I wrote the
next letter, which would have arrived the next day:
Dear Mr Metcalfe,
I also think it wrong to speak of the merits of the
person of Christ.
The merits of Christ yes! But not the merits of his
person.
Reason
As the Son of God he is a divine person. By nature
He is God. He is essentially God by nature. He is personally the Son of the
Father. To speak then of the merits of the divine person is abhorrent to the
delicate and gracious soul, for one cannot admit any imperfections in God nor a
demerit as to perfections, councils, actions or purposes. God is by definition
essentially righteous - perfectly just and right in all and in everything.
Whether this glory be revealed or veiled always was and ever shall be.
The scripture speaks of the Lord Jesus Christ being
the express image of the Father's person.
I admit a complexity in that the Lord Jesus Christ
is bi-natural, that is to say he has two natures. Yet he is but one person, co-equal
with the Father and Holy Ghost. By nature eternally God taking into union with
himself, at the incarnation, our humanity, that which he was not, becoming
truly man. There is now then a union of divine and human natures (never to be
dissolved) hence Christ Jesus the Lord is a glorious complex person.
We may speak of the merits of Christ Jesus for he
is truly a human being, having a real soul created when made man; this man may
accrue merit by virtue of living in this world being not only made under the
Law of Moses but under every divine rule, him being subject unto his God and
Father- He is the divine servant.
The expression then, Òhow can the merits of
ChristÕs person be imputed?Ó I say is too loose and really the whole quotation
should read: Given the merits of the Lord Jesus Christ, how are they imputed
and His nature imparted? This being the question at the Reformation.
If you think I am being nit picking then what kind
of 1000-year theological course do you advocate as being worthwhile?
I write this way because I trust it will be of help
to you. You certainly have helped me in causing me to consider many things. I
also stand to be corrected and ask you to do so.
I expect I have touched on your doctrine of
justification and perhaps you have deliberately phrased your statement in the
tract the way you have because it reflects your views of justification. Am I
right?
Please excuse this hurried note but I must write,
as I am able.
Yours Sincerely,
David Clarke.
Durham. 25th July 1984.
My two letters were returned with no comments. I took it that this was meant to express
his rejection of my observations or council regarding himself.
About that time I heard
about a minister called Peter Hallihand who was a Baptist pastor of a church in
Shropshire and he also was a representative of the Trinitarian Bible
Society. He was preaching at a
meeting in Dunstable and Mr Oldham of Leicester had also spoke well of him.
I went to hear him preach
and shortly afterward we decided to visit him in Shropshire to outline our
position. It was soon evident to me that if the church where Peter Hallihand
was the pastor was in Bierton I would feel it right to be joining the Lordshill
Church but we lived in Bierton and this Church was in Snailbeach, Shropshire.
We both felt persuaded that we should move house and I should change my job if
it was the Lord's will that we should join that church. I felt that if God was
directing us this way, and I must make the moves and the way would be opened up
to us.
We advertised the house for
£97500 but dropped the price in to £92000 in order to sell. We were able to buy
a three-bedroom bungalow for £37000 cash in Snailbeach, Shropshire. We moved in
January 1986 and joined the church shortly afterwards. We were both very hopeful expectant and
looked to God for support.
I still worked at Luton and
travelled there each Monday morning and returned to Snailbeach at the weekend.
I stayed with Steven Royce and his family during the week and travelled home at
weekends. I had hopes to obtain a lecturing job in one of the colleges in
Shropshire.
Trade Union activity NATFHE
Luton College of HE
Whilst waiting to get a job
in Shropshire in February 1985 I was asked to join the trade union Natfhe at
Luton College (I had not joined as
a matter of principle), which I had the opportunity to explain in these
letters) and here is the letter asking me to join. The significance of this
letter will become apparent when I write about my forced resignation under
threat of dismissal at Luton College in 1988. I write about this later. It was
the Trade Union NATFHE who acted in the interest of the Union in negotiating my
terms of resignation. This forced
resignation was the result of my first medically diagnosed hypo manic episode
but at the time I felt it was simply due to my excessive work and the
opposition that I experience at Luton College in seeking to develop a training
centre for satellite television reception.
Dear Dave,
As a membership secretary
for NATFHE I am writing to you to suggest that you might consider joining the
union.
At present education is
under attack as a part of the public sector of the economy, and although it is
true that as lecturers we have a special interest in being opposed to
reductions in educational provision, we can make also a case against these
particular reductions in expenditure on more altruistic and objective grounds.
However, although NATFHE is
involved in a great many ways in attempting to be a positive influence in
education, I would be misleading you if I did not say that our trade union
functions were fundamental to our existence.
For the immediate future,
these trade union functions are going to include defending jobs, the conditions
under which we teach, and as a spin-off the quality of the courses that we
offer. (Not to be under-estimated).
In any attempt to increase
student staff ratios this is always at risk, even if not a certainty, that
working conditions can degenerate and become a breach of the agreements made
between the Local Educational Authority, (our real employer remember, not
the college) and NATFHE. We must be prepared to resist such moves where
possible. Our policy must be to preserve the quality of the courses and the
work that we do. Naive and simplistic assumptions that raising SSRÕs equals
more efficiency need serious questioning.
It smacks of Ònever mind the quality feel the widthÓ. The way in which efficiency is defined
requires questioning.
If compulsory redundancy is
proposed for any member of NATFHE our policy is to defend that member of the
union. Of course, if a none - NATFHE member of staff is threatened with
redundancy, and then we cannot be enthusiastic about defending that person on a
personal basis (unless it has repercussions for our own members). Indeed if
there is any suggestion that a NATFHE member is to be compulsory redundant we
would have to insist that the LEAÕs human sacrifice would have to be drawn from
the list of non-NATFHE lecturers. Any union has to take the position of Òhands
off our membersÓ - it is its job to do this.
But not only do you have to
think of self-preservation but also of your colleaguesÕ positions. Will you be
able to oppose a bad policy when directed against other people and act in what
you might consider a fair, reasonable way, simply by standing alone? That I
leave to you.
For some staff the way in
which the Union works is not totally understood and we intend in the near
future to issue explanatory notes to make this clear to members. We know that
communication could be improved.
I hope that you will now
seriously consider joining our ranks and push the proportion of membership
above the existing Photo of 91.5 % of full-time staff.
Yours fraternally
My reply to NATHFE Union
5/2/85 and was as follows
Dear Roy,
Re: NATFHE
Thank you for your letter
in respect of me joining NATFHE. I can see and understand your points of
concern. However I am not a member of the union because of a matter of
principle.
I fear God and am a
Christian. If I were a member I would, as a matter of conviction, be obliged to
contend against all actions, which were opposed to Christ and morality. This is
not my calling as a lecturer.
My protection, in respect
to my work, is by the hand of the living God. I know also if my colleagues were
that concerned they too might seek divine protection, through Christ Jesus, as
I do my self. It is He that watches over me and if according to his command I
loose my job, then who am I to resist the living God.
If you like I could speak
on this subject to all the members at national local and national level. I
would also be prepared to debate or answer criticism of those that feel the
need to do so.
Yours Sincerely,
David
Clarke.
I was quite surprised to
receive further correspondence on the same subject and it made interesting
reading:
Dear David, 5/3/85
Thank you for extending the
courtesy of a reply to my note to you.
I understand the position
you take in your letter. Of course, in the end, it has to be a matter of
personal conviction which will decide the matter of union membership and for
you this is a stronger factor than for others, what I do not wish to do is of
course create a clash of loyalties and principles for any one with genuine
misgivings. In the end it will have to be your decision, so anything that I
write here is done knowing that fact.
Not knowing the exact
religious sect to which you belong I am at some disadvantage in the question,
which I would pose to you. They might not seem to be addressing themselves to the
points, which to you are the most crucial.
However, I gather that you
accept the notion of predestination by saying that if you lose your job this
would be Òaccording to His commandÓ
Please explain to me why
the act of joining a union might not be counted as being determined by the
living God, for how can one event be regarded differently from another in this
way?
This might be particularly
relevant if the job loss results from a central Government policy inspired by
Monetarism, a creed that the market of capital should dominate the lives of
people. Did not Jesus have something to say about the moneychangers in the
temple? Is it a negation of GodÕs work to be opposing the evil of the
destruction educational opportunity for people? Why is it that a struggle
against powers that wish to make worse the lives of people is seen in some way
as not carrying out GodÕs work whereas the actions of those damaging education
is seen to be an act of God?
Although as a child I was
christened as a Congregationalist, I became one who rejected the idea of God
because fearing God did not make sense. To do some thing because I feared the
consequences of not seemed to be abandoning oneÕs human responsibility. Imagine
the mass- murderers of the Nazi Regime claiming that they were carrying out
Gods work. Of course this is an extreme case I put but it raises the point in
an extreme way that personal judgements needs to be exercised in some cases and
the act of exercising that judgement might be fulfilling GodÕs intention.
Surely there can be an active interpretation of pre-determination as well as a
passive one?
Anyway, if you resolve to
maintain your position then it is your decision. At least I felt that your
letter deserved some reply,
Yours Sincerely,
Roy
Bride.
PS One member of staff has
decided to pay equivalent to the annual subscription to the TeacherÕs
Benevolent Fund, instead of joining.
My reply to the Secretary of
NATFHE
I felt it right to reply to Roy
and give further answers to his questions, as clearly he was not saved and had
by his own admission turned away from God. I felt it an Ideal opportunity to
speak of GodÕs sovereignty and love in Jesus Christ. Here is my reply:
Dear Roy
Re: Our correspondence in
respect of NATFHE
Thank you for your letter
of the 5th February.
I am most intrigued by your
response and am pleased you have given the consideration you have to my views,
even though I think you may think me a little naive.
Without wishing to be too
personal or cause offence directly may I take the liberty to answer some of
your points? It may possibly be the means of enlightenment, to you in respect
of divine pre-destination and mans responsibility.
Yes, I do believe,
absolutely, in divine pre-destination as you put it; if by that you mean the
end of all things is determined, therefore the means to that end are also
determined. I would confess to believing the scripture, which states that God
has determined all things, and all things come to pass according to His
predetermined purpose. That our being made, or created, is for GodÕs own glory
and pleasure. Acts 2. Verse 23. And Rev. 4 verse 11.
That God has chosen some of
the human race to obtain salvation by faith in Jesus Christ and left others to
answer divine justice for their sins. Eph. 1 verse 4-5 and Jude 1 verse 4 and
Rom. 9 verse 14-20.
In all this the glory of
God is great, for we have a display of the everlasting love of God the Father,
Son and Holy Ghost. A love, which is unchangeable and sovereign in its
bestowment, God loving some and not all (contrary to popular belief) Rom. 9
verse 13-16. The reason for this love has nothing to do with what is found in
the sinner, for this choice is without respect to actions done or capable of
being done. In fact the choice was before the foundation of the world. Peter 1
verse 2 and Eph. 1 verse 4.
If it were based upon merit
none could be saved, therefore it is a choice through grace alone not based
upon works. Thus salvation is received by faith and not through or deeds of
merit. Rom. 4 verse 16.
With respect to the chosen
all things work together for their good. That industrial strife, famine,
unemployment, sickness, death, in fact all evil work together for their eternal
good. That these things are sent of God to us that we will learn not to rest in
our selves but rather cause us to seek our all in him and depend entirely upon
that which he has promised us in his own divine word. Rom. 8 verse 35.
In respect to our
responsibilities: I agree with you we are responsible to do those things, which
are right and sensible for our own preservation. If needs be we oppose evils
and fight for those things, which are right and proper, not only for our selves
but for the coming generation, but all in the bounds of ÒIf possible live at
peace with all menÓ.
I do not however by this
mean we should be stupid and allow all (as you rightly refer to the point of
the Nazi oppression) to vanquish all that is opposed their Idealism. In fact any such system, whether it be
communism, socialism, capitalism or any other Ôism should be resisted if it
adopts those flaws common to corrupted human nature. I therefore say to you, since you appeal
to scripture as a basis to oppose Monetarism and claim educational opportunity,
that this is a work of God. Then use the whole of scripture to govern all your
policies and by this means I might be inclined to help.
I would suggest the
following and give this to you to consider:
1)
Never
engage in a fight unless it is a righteous cause. (God is on the side of the
righteous)
2) That
the battle be one you think you can win. (In which case God might be sought in
prayer and divine aid is asked for).
3) Consider
whether God has called you to fight the battle. (In which case there will be
principles taught clearly in the scripture).
4) Consider
whether the men you fight with are reliable and moved by the same principles
and convictions (a divided army or kingdom is not likely to win any battle).
5) Fight
with all your might for the righteous will hold on His way.
I am fully aware of the
Nazi Regime and also the connection with the Roman Catholic Church. Also that
the basis of the Third Reich was upon Jesuitical principles (See the secret History of the Jesuits,
Edmund Paris) Not only so but Hitler and Mussolini were both sons of the
Catholic Church and so the scripture is fulfilled in that the blood of prophets
and of the saints and all the slain upon the earth was found in her (the Roman
Catholic Church). Rev 17-18 verse 24.
My question to you is do
you think your contention with monetarism is a holy war?
I believe a holy war is
directed against any that oppose Christ and His Church - not one Ôism against
Monetarism as you call it. I tell
you if I believed this policy of Government were opposed to Christ in this
matter of educational cuts then according to my five-point plan I would engage
in the battle. That if I found none with me I would fight alone, just like
David who fought Goliath, and like Samson who slew a 1000 men with the jaw bone
of an ass. But I would not fight with or join hands with Apostates, atheists,
unbelievers or heretics, for these would be in the way and could not wield the
weapons of truth.
You suggest that it might
it be according to the will and purpose of God to join the union to fulfil his
purpose. To which I answer he would direct me to do so and I would know that
calling in the same way I know my name is written in the LambÕs book of life
that I am saved, my sins being forgiven me and I have divine protection. This
knowledge I would derive from the scriptures of truth as I employ my reason to
biblical principles and walk according to the faith, once delivered unto the
saints.
Re. your tentative inquiry
to what sect of Christendom I belong - maybe you might review your knowledge of
these sects and find a place for me, I would certainly be interested to see
into which group I am pigeon holed.
Yours very Sincerely,
David Clarke
14th 2nd
1985.
Recollection and union
views now
It is only now as I write
this account, when I look back on these things, that I am beginning to learn some
of the lessons I had believed in my head but not proved by actual experience of
knowing God in the very depths of ones souls agony.
I now believe the NATHFE
union are a valuable functioning body and I have no problem in supporting and
being a member of such a union. This is because they have thrashed out with
Management their rules of conduct, which, if employed, can result in very fair
dealings with members. I think Union services should be offered free to no-
members. This I think would enlist more members.
Second bout of depression
It was shortly after this
that my agony began and I really began to fell the effects of my
depression. I never did get work in
Shropshire and it never happened. I had attended three interviews, at three
colleges, but failed to get any of the jobs - I wondered what God was doing.
That year I missed out on my first promotion at work because they understood I
was intending to move away. This knowledge all added to the aggravation I later
began to feel.
During this time I experienced
awful agonies of fear and doubts etc. I began to believe I was like King Saul
in the Old Testament, and the Lord had rejected me. I began to think that all
my experience of God was of the flesh and not of God. I felt what I thought an Apostate would
feel and that just added to my agony.
I felt alone, isolated and very depressed. Depression set in and Steven
Royce began to call me Mephibosheth, as he was a son of king Saul, who had gone
to live at Lo-debar. (When I look back that was a very good description of my
situation and position). I had never heard of the term manic depression, or bi-polar mood swings, but on reflection and
after being clinically diagnosed with manic depression I realised this
experience was part and parcel of my mental condition at that time.
My wife also became very
depressed and suffered all kinds of agonies. On a number of occasions she would
ring me at work crying about the difficulties she faced. Isaac was being bullied severely and she
couldnÕt cope. She felt hostility from some in the church and did not know how
to manage. It all became too much.
I stayed at the RoyceÕs for
a period of 18 months during the week, whilst I worked at Luton College and
travelled home to Shropshire at the weekend. I hated the journey and very often
on the way back to work on a Monday morning I would have to stop and seek God
for strength to continue. I was feeling so ill through depression. I began to
feel that I had been cast away by God and was in the similar position as King
Saul, in the Old Testament, having begun well but was later rejected by God. I
felt as I thought an Apostate would feel, which in turn cast me down even
further. I wanted to die.
During
the time at Shropshire I tried to assess where had all my contending come too,
and began to question many things. I was far from happy. And I felt forsaken by
God.
It
was then I decided to put family and myself first and move back to Luton where
I had work. I felt in my soul I would answer to God for my decision as I felt I
was going against what I believed He taught in the scripture that was to seek
first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and then all these things will
be added unto me. I thought we
should put church membership first then family. From here I would try and sort
out church after we were living together as a family. I had always believed we should put the
things of God first and God will look after you.
I
hated living like I was away from my home and family. When we were at Bierton I
had always been able to read and pray each day, as the head of my family before
they went to school but now we were fragmented. I hated it. I felt I should be
with my family and not living like we were.
The
prices of houses in the South were rising rapidly whilst those in Shropshire
and in Snailbeach, where we lived were hardly moving at all. To give you some
idea we had sold our house in Bierton for £92,000 in December 1995. This was a
lovely 4 bedroom detached chalet bungalow with double gates and half moon drive
way. We owned this house apart from a £24,000 mortgage.
We
were able to purchase a three bedroom detached bungalow in Snailbeach for
£37,000, which we purchased out right with no mortgage.
When
we came to sell it and move back to Luton in 1988 it was sold for £41,000. This
value had risen by £4000. At that time
we bought Graham Gardens for £78,000 and had to raise £42,000 by way of mortgage. This was only
a small 3 bedroom detached house however the awful thing to us was our old
house in Bierton was up for sale for £199,000. These house prices had risen so much
due to inflation we had to buy a house way down on valuation the list. Had we stayed
at Bierton we would have owned a house worth nearly £200,000 or alternatively
moved from Bierton to Luton we could have owned the Luton house with no
mortgage. Instead we were in an inferior house worth only £78,000 but with a
mortgage of £42,000.
Both
my wife and I found this difficult to swallow and I felt robbed. This was to be
a hurt to me for many years.
Whilst
at Luton I began to recover but was still unhappy about the church situation.
I
did not fell ready to re enter the Gospel Standard cultural set up due to the
awful problems I had encountered whilst at Bierton. At the same time I was not
free to get involved in churches which where not Calvinistic due to my
experience in the Pentecostal Holiness Church. So we found our selves
un-churched again. However I began to feel a lot better coming out of sever
depression and I began to enjoy the simple things in life again and I could
smile once more.
During
all this time I still held on to my job and taught at Luton College. Discipline
however was not my strong point. How to keep control of a class of 24 teenage
students from various ethnic backgrounds was not an easy task. I adopted my own
methods; one might say a manic method.
When
I was training to be a teacher at the Wolverhampton Polytechnic one teacher,
taking the subject of discipline in the classroom told us only of one method.
This was my course in classroom management.
This
lecturer had to teach a class of craft students and wanted to assert his
authority before they got out of hand. Craft students are noted generally to be
awkward to manage. He decided this would make sure he would have no problems
with them later on in the course.
During
the class when he was teaching technical drawing, he asked one of the students
to go out to the building sight and bring to him a large plank of wood. When
the student returned with the wood the lecturer took it from him and with one
mighty karate chop, broke the wooden plank in two. He then proceeded to use the
plank of wood as a ruler on the chalkboard just as though nothing had happened.
He did not say a word to the students. The students stood back in amazement at this
show of strength and took it as a warning.
This was the lecturer method of saying to the class donÕt mess with me
or you will get what this plank of wood got.
I
found this story amusing and from this I was supposed to learn all about class
management. With this limited knowledge I took it that you had to find your own
method of discipline in the classroom so decided to have some fun.
One
of the problems I initially found was enforcing the college rules. One rule was
no eating of drinking food in the classrooms. How do you stop it? Sweet papers
were evident, empty drink cans evident, so it went on whether they were allowed
to or not. Even when they were told they still broke the rules.
I
decided I would sort this problem my way. I thought if you couldnÕt beat them
then join them. So I made it a rule that if I found them eating sweets or food
in the class I would make them share them and help I would my self to their
food. I proceeded to do so. It soon got around that I was taking their food.
Whether this stopped the eating problem I do not know but on this one occasion
the student got one over on me.
I
saw at the back of the class two students messing about under the desk and
their mouths were in operation. I stopped teaching and went to the back of the classroom
and sure enough a lovely fat juicy Mars bar was in Chavda's hand. I had caught
them red handed. I said come on you know the rules give it to me. Not without their protest I took it from
him and looked forward to a big bite. As I consumed this mouth of Mars bar the
rest of the class burst in to laughter- they all knew- I didnÕt. I discovered
pieces of white tablets mixed in with the chocolate. They had laced the Mars
bar with laxative tablets and got their own back one me.
They
were totally amused and from that time I had no real trouble.
On
another occasion I had some trouble with Chavda again and could not stop him
from causing a disturbance in the class. I must have ruffled his feathers as on
this occasion he threatened to sort me out. He was and Asian about 17 years old
and I must have been about 30 years old with out much experience in dealing
with this type of situation. In my determination to sort this problem out I
challenged him to do it in the boxing ring, thinking this would put as stop to
it all. How ever the class took up this suggestion and he too went along with
the idea- Yes- OK. How.
Oh
dear I thought to my self-how am I going to get out of this one. I said they
must go to the college Gym in the lunch hour and ask if we can use the boxing
ring for half and hour. This sorted the problem out and we all got back to
work. They must have been looking forward in anticipation to this fight out.
Sure
enough off they went to the Gym during the break and shortly afterwards I got a
telephone call from the women Gym lecturer asking me what was going on. She
said they were not really allowed to do it. I seized on this and said good,
please tell them that and that will get me off the hook.
They came back after break
feeling let down as they were all looking forward to this boxing match. However
there was no Chavda, nor was he there the next day. I was told that he had got
wind of the fact that I was a welterweight boxing champion and was looking
forward to sorting him out. This again landed me on my feet.
During
my time Luton College of Higher Education I taught classes with a lot of
Muslims and other religions.
It
was easy to speak to Muslim students about the things of God and they insisted
they were right and God could not possibly have a son. From time to time I
would visit their homes and meet their parents and they soon respected me.
I
had gone through many trials and difficulties and believed I should speak to
these Muslims about Jesus and what he came to do.
I
could talk to them about the Omnipotent God, the Omnipresence of God and
Omniscience of God and they began to think I would soon become a Muslim.
I
was invited to there young persons meeting on a Friday evening so I took with
me a Muslim missionary who had been looking for an opening to meet the Luton
Muslim community. We had a reasonable time just talking and listening.
Word
got around that I was interested in the Muslim religion and the student
president of the Muslim community came to se me one lunch hour for a meeting.
I
fact some of the students nick named me God and had rang in to the local radio
station, Chiltern Radio in January 1988 to say they had named me God. See my
reply.
There
must have been about 10 or so keen Muslim students together with their president
and I was speaking to them as best I could about the Lord Jesus.
I
suggested I pray for them and with them. They said this has never happened
before and that they pray different to Christians. They said they pray on the
floor so I suggested we should do the same.
One
of the students in his respect for me took of his jacket and placed it on the
floor for me to kneel on and as I kneeled down they all kneeled down behind me
as I lead them in prayer.
I
prayed to the effect after thanks giving my God and Father would open the eyes
to the truth to what I had spoken to them about.
Afterwards
I was informed this had never happened before they had never prayed or had a
Christian pray for them.
I
did not see any results from that time but they held me with respect and were
always courteous to me.
I
had met a Muslim missionary called Paul?
At the time connected with Spicer Street Independent Church in St Albans
and asked him to come with me to their Friday night religious instruction
classes. This we did and spoke to them about the Lord Jesus Christ. I learned
the address of greeting with the Muslim and it was
A Salem Ali
com (Hello) and the reply was
wali com Salem (Good bye).
I
found it a great relief to be living near I worked. I had been living in a
shared bedroom, at the RoyceÕs home fare away from my family and in my car for
over 18 months. I was good to be able to come home from work at lunchtime and
return at leisure. I began to get well and be more involved in my work.
It
was the year of the launch of the Astra Satellite and soon got involved in
preparing training courses for satellite installation technicians.
At
the same time we had difficulties with Isaac at school and eventually we had
him accessed by an Educational Psychologist as he had Specific Learning Difficulties,
which was called Dyslexia. The
Bedfordshire County Council denied the word and would not accept Dyslexia as a
reality. In the end we went to a leading Education Psychologist, Bev Hornsby in London to assess Isaac
and this did the trick and got Isaac recognised as having learning
difficulties. This was sufficient to get some him help at school.
I
too had always had problems in reading, writing and spelling. I could
understand concepts and problem solving was no problem to me but the ability
communicate with the written word was virtually impossible for me. How I got
though teacher training college I do not know. I often thought they must have
been hard up for students at the time. I can how ever remember the Head of
Technical Studies calling me to his office saying he was worried about my
written work. He arranged for me to have remedial help. I went to one of two
sessions but it I found it was not helpful at all. It was so boring and they
had no Idea how to help me. It was only when I became a Christian that my
desire to learn more and more about the things of God and what Jesus had done
that I was compelled to learn to read and understand words. This leaning had
helped me write essays to gain entrance into the Technical Teacher Training
School at Wolverhampton. So in reality I taught my self and then I taught
myself to type. With these skills came the revolution and a disgruntled wife.
The Apple Mac Computer
When
I threw myself into my work at Luton College, after coming back from Shropshire,
I purchase an Apple Mac computer. It was a Mac Plus with 1 Meg of RAM, multi
tasking, (only 340 KB of Ram needed for WORD 4), 45 Mbytes of Hard disk and a
dot matrix 24 pin printer. It knocked spots of any other computer available at
the time. It was the best thing to me since the printing press in the 15
century. At Luton College we had installed PCÕs, which were slow inelegant
beast's probably 8080 series (just before the 286) and only able to do single
tasks. My Mac Plus became my friend
and helper. My wife complained that I had spent the money we had set aside for
her new kitchen, on my new Cyber (Pet). It was a wonderful helper to me so you
might call it my cyber woman. No
wonder my real wife complained.
This
enabled me to write letters, memos, and technical notes and print them all
straight away. I was able to communicate with the educational and business
world. My ideas of developing a training school for Satellite Television was
only able to work because of the use of the Apple Mac computer and printer. It
freed me to communicate my ideas with the written word in a simple and
uncomplicated way. I am sure I am
dyslexic but I have never had a statement. We discovered later that my wife and
Esther and David were all diagnosed as Dyslexic and were given statements.
Dyslexia is really regardless of
what the authorities say s. David
still receives help with his learning difficulties. He has exactly the same
problem as I did.
My
wife later received an educational award due to her Dyslexia when she started
her degree course. She bought an Apple
Mac PowerBook 170, which was beautiful and I would have loved it. This
computer was portable and this enabled her to do all her written work, which other
wise she would not be able to do. She graduated 3 years later with and upper
Second in her Degree in Cultural Studies at Portsmouth University.
As
you can see I am an Apple Mac fan and not a PC fanatic.
Entrepreneurial
venture in Satellite
Television
Soon
how ever I had a run in with the management at Luton College. I had what I
thought a good idea to make money for the college. At that time the Astra
Satellite was about to be launched and Alan Sugar had announced he had intended
manufacturing 3 Million satellite receivers that coming year all of which would
have to be installed. I had been to a conference in London and met a satellite
installation technician called Steve Holmes and I talked with him working with
me at Luton College teaching about satellite systems. I wrote to the CAI (Confederation
of Aerial Industries) suggesting the Educational Standards and Industrial
technology come together in a joint venture to train satellite installation technicians
and award a City and Guilds, or similar award from the start. At that time very
few people had installed a satellite dish or receiver.
I
spoke to my immediate boss, Derrick Curran but my idea did not register or he
did not see that my idea was any good. I was not prepared to be put off so in
the summer holiday of that year I asked to see the Director of our College a Dr
Wood. I then explained my idea saying that our Centre for Applied Technology and Innovation (CATI) at Putteridgbury
was in ideal venue to set up a training school to train technicians how to
install satellite TV systems. I put it to the management that we together with
the CAI, City & Guilds and the industry could earn money by charging
reasonable fees for students. He thought it a good idea. I explained I was due
to go to a meeting with the CAI in London in the next few days and he said he
would direct my Head of School, Derrick Curran to go with me. I had recorded
our meeting with my portable tape recorder so it was clear to me I had the
backing of the Director of the College.
The
meeting went well, Derrick was late but the CIA was sufficiently impressed with
my idea of education and industry coming together to ensure quality and set
standards. I invited them to come to Luton to discuss these things further. My
head of school was sufficiently impressed to give me the go ahead and make all
necessary arrangements.
I
was able to contact many people in industry, inviting them to our meeting at Cati Luton. The purpose of the meeting
was to show the technical facilities of the Engineering Faculty, to the CAI and
other interested parties, so that a joint venture may be pursued with those
concerned. Also to show the Cati conference rooms so that marketing and
educational directors may consider using our centre for future operations.
Assuming
a favourable outcome we shall form a working party of technical personnel to
determine future course needs and make the appropriate arrangements to start training immediately.
The Meeting on 7th
September 1988
David centre by the Satellite dish
The
following were in attendance at the meeting:
|
CAI
|
Mr John Knight
|
CIA Executive
|
|
Sky Channel
|
Mike Aarons
|
Network Manager
|
|
City and Guilds
|
Mr Snell
|
Executive Representative
|
|
SAT TEL
|
Richard Stallworthy
|
Managing Director
|
|
Master Care
|
Jeff Belington
|
Commercial Director
|
|
Solara UK
|
John Breed,
|
Satellite Production Manager
|
|
Saturn Com
|
Andrew Demetrious
|
Managing Director
|
|
BSB
|
Bert Hurlock
David Blackshaw
David Ayres
Keith Payne
|
Project Manager
|
|
Granada TV
|
Roy Ward
|
Technical Services Manager
|
|
SES ASTRA
|
Pam Taylor
|
Manager
|
|
Open University
|
Prof. H Gower
|
Assistant Vice Chancellor
|
|
Premier
|
John Martin
Mike Tonnes
Ian Welders
|
|
|
Amstrad
|
Alan Sugar
|
Managing Director
|
|
Grundig
|
Tom Carney
|
Managing Director
|
|
Racal
|
Bert Ferguson
|
Managing Director
|
|
Micro X
|
Chris Lack
|
Sales Director
|
|
Matthew Aerials
|
Steve Holmes
|
Director of Satellite Installations and LCHE
Advisor
|
|
Mega sat
|
|
Managing Director
|
|
MSC Industrial
|
Mrs L Kelly
|
Administrator
|
|
|
|
|
And many more.
Most
of these people came to the meeting except Alan Sugar. I thought he might have
arrived in his helicopter.
I
even thought of inviting Arthur C Clarke but he would have had to travel from
Sri Lanka.
I
gave the address to this meeting, sharing the plan and ideas. I was introduced by our Vice
Principle, (who himself was called
Dr Clarke), as the Director of Satellite Communications - an impressive title,
which suited me down to the ground.
The
meeting went down well and things looked extremely good.
It
was after this meeting that the problems began as a certain woman called Fiona
Howorth took on the
management of the training venture. She could not be depended upon as she
changed her mind and ideas without any reference to me. She was the manager of a department
within Luton College of Higher Education,
- the Centre for Applied Technology and Innovation called Cati. She generally cut across what I
had arranged and I felt extremely frustrated with working or trying to work
with her. I had thus far single-handed got the venture off the ground from
nothing. I had got all the interested industries together and I was set to go.
How ever this was not to be. The management wanted to take control, away from
me.
A
problem.
After
several confrontations with Fiona Howorth and the management they decided to
reduce my powers and make myself just responsible for the equipping of the
workshop area and writing a textbook. I was told not to contact any out side
organisations. They had decided to take over this venture as they planned to
charge £100 per head per student. The CAI had indicated they might have 2000
persons wishing to be trained. I remembered how it was the women at the Bierton
Strict and Particular Baptist Church, which had been the problem there, and
here now, was another woman taking charge of my venture and I resented it.
I
was angry at their decision because I knew they could not make things work, the
way things were at College. They
needed entrepreneurial skills and management to deal with industry. They did
not have what it took to make it work.
It was then that I wrote to the Director saying I had sacked Fiona
Howorth and Derrick Curran and would sort things out my way. I had worked so hard
to secure many thousands of pounds worth of sponsored equipment and had the
support of the industry. It seemed a shame for me to stand by and see it fail,
due to middle management incompetence.
I
believed I had, at the time, the Directors backing for what I was doing and
thought if he knew what was going on amongst the middle management he would not
approve of them. I believed once he
found out what was going on a few heads would role. I had the original audio recording of
our first meeting when he gave me the permissions to do what I must to achieve
our objectives, so I informed the management that I had this recording, which
actually gave my commission to do what I was doing, and that I had the
Directors approval.
My
state of mind and manic activity
At
this time I was feeling very happy and had many fluent ideas and was able to
talk about them, virtually none stop. My senses were heightened and I
appreciated colours, beauty and music.
My libido was high and on one occasion, when rushing to London on the
train, I was virtually stopped in my tracks to admire the beauty of a woman
traveller.
A
take over and I am paid to resign
The
management at Luton College wondered what had happened to me and they no longer
listened to me. They had decided
they did not want me working for them and wanted to take over the work I had
begun. The College management asked
the NATFHE union to be involved but I was not a member so this was a difficulty
for them because they did not want to deal with me directly. As a result I was suspended from work
and the management asked the Chairman of the Union, Mr Tom May, to act for me
and with them. He acted in the interest of the Union and he informed me it was
in the interest of the union to do so.
It was in the Colleges interest to pay me £6000 in lieu of notice, to
leave my lecturing post. I did not really wish to leave but rather than risk
being unfairly sacked I agreed to take the money and leave, provided I could
have a good reference. I realised the Management could not handle the situation
and it was in my best interest to leave. This was early 1988.
I
was told by the Director to destroy the tape recording of our original meeting,
which contained the proof that I had his approval for the venture that had I
developed.
During this time, in fact the
week I was suspended from work, I went to see my doctor and was signed off sick
due to not being able to sleep and my hyper - activity when working on the
satellite-training venture. It was then suggested that I had a bi - polar mood
disorder and was in a hypomanic state. A psychiatrist, at the Luton and
Dunstable Hospital, later confirmed this diagnosis. My doctor prescribed some
medication to bring me down from my high mood. This was Haloperidol, a typical
antipsychotic drug, and also Priodel, with the active ingredient lithium. My
mind had been filled with many ideas seeking to develop the training school for
the satellite industry.
At the same time I realised that
Michael, my brother, had very similar patterns of behaviour and I realised he
too suffered from this kind of mood disorder except in his case he had no
medical treatment. I recall
speaking to his wife on the telephone. They just had separated and were going
through a divorce. I related to her about my condition and that it was
identical to MichaelÕs and could be the reason for his current behaviour. I then realised he too was suffering
from manic depression and this accounted for his mood swings in the past.
The effects of the medication that
I had taken did not take place for a few weeks or so but when it did, it all
happened on one day. I had been
suspended from work due to my manic behaviour but I was not prepared to be put
down, so I intended to continue my work from home. I had gained a lot of support from the
satellite TV industry and secured over £30,000 worth of equipment, all for the
training venture at Luton College.
However being suspended from work left me high and dry, so to speak.
Having decided to go it alone, I
advertised my own training program in the local newspaper and taught future
satellite installers how to install satellite equipment from my home, at Graham
Gardens, Luton. The man next door got a bit upset because I had 5 satellite
dishes in the garden and he said it looked like a Radio Transmitting Station.
We had a little write-up in the local newspaper about this training venture.
Third bout of depression
It was on one of these training
days that this medication I had been taking took effect. I felt a wave of
depression come over me, half way through the day, just like the first wave of
depression I experience on the garage roof at Mount Street in 1975. I was
teaching a group of students when it hit me. This depression was to last for a
further 3 years. I became so bad I
had to rely on further medication. I could hardly leave the house through the
agony I was facing. I was struggling with the things of God and did not know
how to handle the problems that I was beginning to face. I wondered why in the
providence of God this had all happened and reasoned that I had given my self
over to too much work, to the neglect of the things of God. I rejected the
notion that I was suffering from manic depression as I thought it was simply
due to excessive work and the opposition that I had experienced at Luton
College.
Symptoms of Manic
Depression or a Bi-Polar mood disorder
What is often recognised and
described as manic behaviour is seen when a person begins to have unusual ideas
that seem brilliant and they are able to talk about them, expressing their
thoughts with very rapid speech.
They talk 10 to the dozen so to speak.
Accompanying this is the
inability to sleep for any length of time. They wake early, with fluid ideas
wishing to get on with the day. They find they have more strength than usual
and are very active, hence the term used about children being hyperactive. They
can go from one job or activity to another leaving neither finished. They will
find no job too great and are prepared to take on enormous tasks.
When in the manic phase, or hypo
state, a person can become very short tempered and impatient with others, as
they wish others would keep up with them. At one time my wife sought to control
me and she refused to stop ' having a goÕ at me. In response I held her up
against the wall with my hands around her neck seeking to stop her from going
on at me. I stopped when she slid down to the floor, as she could no longer breath.
Such
people are impatient in conversation; often not allowing another to complete
their sentences, as they wish to answer any objection or another persons idea
before they have expressed it, as they think they know best. They believe
themselves to be right and often argue their case till others either reject
them or accept them.
There is an increase in libido,
along with an increase in the body senses. Sight seams to be clearer, both
natural and insight. The ability to appreciate art, music, poetry and
spirituality, increases. There can be a desire to dance and sing and a delusion
they are great singers and/or performers. It is as though the human senses
touch, taste smell, hearing and sight are synchronized, enabling rapid
communication between that person and the outside world that allows them to
sympathise or react to historic events.
In short they feel on top of the
world as if nothing could go wrong and they may well believe the world was made
just for them.
In my case I experience all of
these things along with the belief that I have a personal relationship with
God, that Jesus Christ was my Saviour, and that all things, the good and the
bad, would work together for my good.
However It is the low side that generally
leads the suffer to seek help. In my previous lows I felt God had forsaken me
and that I had become a castaway because of some negligence or sin in the past.
Such fears and thoughts are unbearable and are really destructive. Once in that
state there seems to be no way out, just as though one has been thrown down a
pit hundreds of feet deep. There is no way out. I knew that William Cowper, of
the C18, the famous hymn writer who wrote hymns such as, ÒThere is a fountain filled with bloodÓ and ÒGod moves in a mysterious wayÓ,
suffered from melancholy which left him in total despair. I could fully enter
into and feel the sense of his poetry and hymns. He suffered from manic
depression.
I have since learned that many
well known people suffer from Manic Depression.
List of people with
bipolar disorders:
Frank Bruno,
Russell Brand,
Kurt Cobain,
Ray Davies,
Stephen Fry
Paul Gascoigne,
Spike Milligan
Florence
Nightingale,
Jean-Claude
Van Damme,
Vincent Van Gogh,
Ruby Wax,
Catherine
Zeta-Jones
All
such experiences and more are to be related as my story unfolds and I hope they
will be of help to any reader who has the same experiences or knows some one
who may be suffering from manic depression.
I Work at Fareham College
At this time I applied for a job
at Fareham College and was offered a place. I took up the position in September 1988
and I believed this was GodÕs provision.
The Principal at that time was Mr
John MacNab and the Vice Principal was Derek Febber, with Pam Robertson as the
Bursar. I discovered later that
Derek Febber was a Christian and helped with the Christian Union at the College.
It was a very fair interview and
I believe the College selection process was very good in that it was truly an
ÒOpen Opportunities CollegeÓ. My
record from Luton College was either acknowledged to be good or ignored or kept
secret. Mike Pease, Head of
Division, and Geoff Whitefield, Principal Lecturer, selected me for the post at
Fareham College, on the strength of my own presentation.
A record was later made in my
personal file of my former stay in Borstal, and conviction of possessing a
firearm without a license at the age of 18 years.
I was very please to get the job
but this meant another move and involved the difficulty in selling our house. I
had to move into lodgings in Fareham. This was another Snailbeach situation,
living in lodgings and travelling home at weekends. I missed being a father to my kids and
living in my own home. This lasted for a further 18 months until we finally
sold our house in Graham Gardens.
During this time I was under a cloud of depression even though it was
controlled through Lithium (Priodel).
I was also, on reflection, experiencing the other symptoms, which
accompany manic or bi-polar depression.
Before I left to work at
Fareham College, we were walking one day in the countryside on the Dunstable
Down, and I saw for the first time in years, an erotic magazine that had been
left by the wayside. My normal
practice would be to turn away and not look at such a magazine but on this
occasion I was tempted to look. The effect of these pictures were so great that
I could not get them out of my mind and they followed me and were retained as
erotic images for years to come. I
did not resist this temptation and proved to be my downfall at a later date.
My wife had decided she would
like to return to full time education and she took up the offer of a place on a
degree course in Cultural Studies, at Portsmouth University. She had previously
studied on an Access Course at Barnfield College in Luton, when I was working
at Fareham.
It took us 18 months to sell our
house in Luton during which time we were living apart as a family yet again. I
felt alone and still suffering from depression even with the medication.
We were eventually able to sell
our house in Luton just before my wife began her first year on the degree
course at Portsmouth University. We were able then to move into rented
accommodation at 8 Queens Grove, Southsea and the children went to St. Jude's
junior school, in old Portsmouth.
My doubts about God
At this time I began to shut my
ear to the Word of God and I allowed temptation to enter my thoughts. We been
attending St. Judes Church in Southsea and I felt that I was as Steven Royce
had called me, like Mephibosheth - crippled and living in Lo debar.
Mephibosheth was a crippled and had been driven out from his rightful place in
his father's kingdom (King Saul) and was living in a place called Lo-debar, a
place of dry land and no pastures.
I began to entertain various
sinful thoughts and then actions. I found greater arguments and reasons to
explain away Gods dealings with me in the past. It could not be denied I had
really believed in God and experienced many remarkably deliverances and provisions
from God, but now the subtlety was in the form of such thoughts as these:
ÒHow do I know that it is God
working and not just the product of misguided interpretation of events? I.e..
Yes, you believed God worked for you and yes your life had been radically
change by that belief or faith but surely all you believed could have been just
not true - granted it would have
effected your life just as it effects other peoples - but believing in
something does not actually make it true. You have believed in something just
like others and what you believed is not
true". That was the argument and I began to accept it. (Reader - this
is a lie from Satan, donÕt you believe it also)).
Reader, as you read this I want
you to know that as Peter was astonished and all that were with him at the
draught of fishes that they had caught when they fished at Jesus' command, I
believe I have written this account at the command of Jesus, and we too will be
astonished at the many fishes caught through this testimony of the loving kindness
and faithfulness of God to me.
Although I did fall away from God
I now recall what Jesus had said to me on the night of my salvation on the 16th
January 1970. Jesus said, ÒDavid I
will never leave youÓ. And so it
will become clear that He does restore and seek the lost and the prodigal sons.
Soon we were attending Titchfield
church, but I still felt like the cripple in the New Testament lying beside the
water pool at Bethesda. I wanted to be healed but had no one to put me in the
pool. I took my family to church but it was more out of routine than any thing
else and I was in a barren spiritual state.
I had needs but was turning from God at Titchfield
church. Then I met my wife to be.
Moving to Fareham I turn
from God
Once we moved to Fareham I continued
to listen to the arguments put forward by my wife when she was studying for her
University Degree at Portsmouth University. This was a degree in Cultural
Studies. She shared with me the current views from sociology, psychology and
philosophy about the none - existence of God. The whole of such higher
education worked from the presupposition, ÒGod does not existÓ. This really was
what they now called Post Modernism.
I heard about the philosophers
such as Kant, Hegel, and Kierkegaard and learned about Existentialism. In
essence I got the picture that were no absolutes at all. No God. No rights or wrongs. Nothing. Morality
was changeable, and depending upon society. This suited me and helped me to
turn my back on the Word of God. In this temptation I did not do as Job, a
character in the Bible. I sinned
and turned from God. This was my foolishness.
My
visit to Soho London
At this time I had occasion to
visit London going to the Macintosh exhibition and on my way home I decided to
re-visit Soho. I remembered my visit there when I was 13 or 14 years old. In
one of the streets was a strip show being advertised with an entry fee of about
£2.00. It was a con but I did not realise it at the time. I was dressed in a
dark navy blue suit I paid my £2.00 and sat at a table awaiting for the show to
begin. There was no one else there except a girly waitress who came to me and
asked if I would like a drink. I
agreed to a drink and it was presented to me on a tray with a bill. As I waited
for the show to begin I looked at the bill and it was for £20. When I called
the waitress to challenge the bill she said there would be no show until I paid
the bill. I was not prepared to pay such a bill and sat there. I was than
approached by another girl who said If I did not pay the bill I would not be
allowed to leave and they would contact my wife and informed her where I was.
This was not a threat to me so I simply sat there for 15 minutes or so, until
finally I just got up and left. So you see it is very easy to get into hot water
when dealing with shady business.
My
wife questions the reality of God
My wife also began to question
the reality of God and turn from the ways she once believed true. She
entertained different thoughts and we both got involved in things, which were not
of God.
I now believe that my sinful
heart wanted to be free from God's rule so that I could be independent and do
as I pleased. I think I must have thought, Ò If this is what is now believed by
the highly educated and the philosophers of the day, then I am a perfect
student of this new age so I will put it into practice" - and that is what
I did. (I now deplore it - it is
not education, but a lie). I took these views on board and began to argue the none
- existence of God, being intent now to do my own things.
I argued since God does not exist
there is no absolute right or wrong. All is relative. I in fact decided what
was right or wrong for me. I actually became my own god.
I now believe God gave me up to
my own sinful heart and left me to myself to practice sin. I did not know at
that time what was in store for me. I was given over to indulge in sexual talk
and activity outside marriage. I went off the rails and got into things I now
feel ashamed to speak about. Those that knew me at that time will know all
about it. I was wrong and out of
order. Again, on reflection, I was displaying the many symptoms, which
accompany a Bi polar mood disorder.
Michael goes to Thailand
About
this time [1991/2], Michael had started his own company making movies In Thailand
called ÒParadise MoviesÓ and he
involved our Mum and Dad, who lived in Eastbourne, in sorting out all his
finances whilst he was away. He also took Jessica, his 10-year-old daughter,
with him for the summer, but cause her mum great alarm when he did not bring
her back to England. He said at the time that he wanted to get back at his ex -
wife because of all the grief she had given him in the past.
|
 Paradise
Movies
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 Michael in
Thailand
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In the end Michael's business in Thailand went wrong. His equipment was
stolen and he ran out of money. We don't really know what he got into while in
Thailand but Mum was so fed up with bailing him out with money and favours that
she finally said she had had enough of him as he was making her ill.
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Sailors Beware
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Michael dressed as a
policeman
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It
was during this time that an article appeared in the News of the World, on
January 19th, 1992. I learned later from Michael that this story was a complete
fabrication.
NEWS OF THE WORLD, January
19th, 1992
EXCLUSIVE
by MARK CHRISTY
Sailors
beware! A new nautical menace has appeared on the horizon - a conman Michael Clarke has set up a
scam to keep himself supplied with booze and birds on a paradise beach.
He
has ripped off scores of unsuspecting British yachting folk by offering them
jobs in an epic sailing movie he claims is being made in Thailand.
Clarke's
ad in Yachting Monthly magazine promises free return airfares and £40 a day for
a five-day week. All he wants is a
£55 insurance fee from applicants.
But
there is No film and punters NEVER hear from him again.
Former
Watford market trader Clarke reckons four square rigged sailing ships are going
to be used in the movie 'Invasion of Thailand', set 200 years ago.
He
calls himself Peter Timberlake and operates his con from the ÒParadise SuiteÓ
in the Thai City of Patiya.
But
his ÒOffice SuiteÓ is a seat in one of Patiya's hundreds of girlie bars. And
his firm ÒParadise Movies" Inc. does not exist - though he does have a
home movie video camera in a local pawnshop.
The
slogan of ÒParadise MoviesÓ is ÒA cut above the restÓ. And when the News of the
World found Clarke he was half-cut above the rest.
An
investigator confronted him at JanÕs Bar. ÒYes I am Paradise MoviesÓ, he
slurred. ÒBut I've been up boozing all night and need to think before I speak
to you."
Then
he vanished and our man found him at The Jasmine, on Patiya's beach, - a bar offering girls for sex. He was
working for £2 per night touting for customers.
Asked
if he intended to return the cash he had defrauded, he replied, Ò I can't even
afford the price of a beerÓ.
Thai
Police and Immigration officials are now looking into the fraud.
One
British yachtsman who fell for the con is architect Fred Howells of
Christchurch, Dorset.
He
sent off his £55 after seeing Clarke's ad in November, and even rang Thailand
to check.
Mr
Howells, 55, said, Òsomeone there said they would look for him in his office,
so I assumed it was genuineÓ
Yacht
skipper Alan Stevens of East London, also wrote but smelt a rat.
ÒWhen
I contacted Yachting Monthly they admitted they had lots of complaints about
the advertÓ, said Alan, 47.
No
one from Yachting Monthly was available to comment.
Michael writes home seeking
help
Needless
to say Michael got himself into trouble and wrote home to our Mum and Dad for
help. This is MichaelÕs letter home that he sent shortly after this news
article.
Punnee Bar Babbua Muang,
Kanchanaburi Thailand 7100
Dear
Mum and Dad,
10/06/92
How
are you both? Keeping well I hope. It will be good weather in England so you
will be able to enjoy your garden. ItÕs been four months since your last
letter, which you sent to Peunnee Bar in Kanchanaburi. That was the only letter
I ever received from there. I did reply to that letter but everyone seems to be
having problems with mail to and from England.
Last
time I wrote I was working for a tracking company but after I set them up with
two main agents they double-crossed me. Things here are getting from bad to
worse. Six weeks ago I lost all my money £700. I was in my room on a raft
house. A big storm came, which caused a lot of damage, a lot of my belongings
went to the bottom of the lake 100 meters deep, together with my money and
Passport. I reported it to the police and got a report to give to the Embassy
in Bangkok. I wrote to the Embassy in Bangkok but so far no answer. In my
letter I told them I had a photocopy of my passport and lost my money. I am in
Thailand with no money and my visa is out of date about £400. I also told them
I had no one in England to help me financially. The tourist police told me not
to worry, as it was an accident, which should stop me from going to prison. Now
I donÕt know what to do. At the moment I am living with a Thai family 80 Km
east of Kanchanaburi at Sisawats Great Lake. They have several bamboos raft
houses designed for tourists but they are in very bad repair so I am helping
them to repair them so at least I get food and keep (but no wages). If we get
tourists I will get some money but at the moment it is low season and the many
political problems in Bangkok is not helping. If I donÕt hear from the Embassy
soon I will have to try to go to Bangkok to see them.
I
know that over the past few years I have been stupid. I have lost every penny,
even my daughter, and my credibility. I am stuck in Thailand penny less. Even
if I could get home where would live and what would I do? I am not well and I
am not young and most of all I have no spirit to live. Even when I had
money I wasnÕt happy. I know I had a reasonable job and a nice flat but I was
so screwed up inside it was sending me
crazy. Even when Jessica came to see
me it was heart breaking for me when she went home. I know you both love
Jessica very much and because of me you cannot see her, I wrote to her a couple
of times but no answer.
Please
Mum and Dad give me a few words of wisdom as I think that this depression could
be the end of me. I thought of writing to Brendan Gibson in Australia but I
donÕt know his address. May be he could help me with some money and I could
work to pay him back.
All
my TV and video equipment you sent I lost due to massive tax duty and also a
crook that tricked me.
The
weather here is hot every day. It seems the same, just like England's heat
waves when you get them, but the water in the lake is clear and fresh and night
air is refreshing. Every one I speak too says the tourist trade in Thailand is
finished.
Please
write to me soon and let me know how every one is. Even a quick word to Jessica
to say I love her would be good for me. Please when you write donÕt give me a
lecture on how irresponsible I have been and on how much you have helped me. I
know all this and am truly sorry. My marriage break-up I think was the cause of
it but I donÕt know.
I
expect my financial situation is very bad at home and Margaret and Chris think
I am very bad. Please what can I do now?
Well
today is another day and I have just heard from the British Embassy. They tell
me that they have no financial resources to help me even though I lost my money
and passport. They say I must have money sent from England to clear my over -
stay, about £400 otherwise I will be in prison without a doubt. So now itÕs
making me ill and this Thai family cannot help me much longer. I have written
to a few people in Thailand to see if they can help me with a job but I donÕt
hold much hope.
I
have heard that in Bangkok I could possibly get a job teaching English but I
would have to go to Bangkok to check it out. At least if I could get my visa in
order and it would keep me straight with immigration and stop me going to
prison. The Embassy pointed out any money should come through Thomas Cook
Travel Agents and send it to their head office in Siloam Road, Bangkok and
would only take 24 hours or so and on proof of I.D. I could draw it. But I
would have to know when to go to Bangkok, which would mean a telegram here
first to let me know from you. I know you think I have a damn cheek after all
you have done for me over the years but I have no one else to turn to. I have
written to David and Irene for help and advice.
I
really am going crazy with the thought of going to a Thai Prison.
If
you cannot help I will understand as I feel that you have done too much for me
in the past and I should be old enough to take care of my self, but this is
Thailand in the 3rd World.
I
have just had a thought ----- for
me to get to Australia. I need a return ticket out to get an entry visa and
this I doubt if Brendan would do anyway but please try and locate his address
for me.
Please
send my letter on to David, as I do not know his new address.
Write
soon and take care.
Your
loving son Michael.
PS I
have written to the Embassy again asking what will happen if I give myself up.
I think they will hand me over to immigration to lock me up. Then the Embassy
will inform you that I am in Prison but I donÕt know.
Mum and Dad fed up with
Michael
Mum
and dad were fed up with what they thought were MichaelÕs irresponsible ways
and they despaired of him. I think mum in the end sent him the money to get him
out and back to England.
On a
letter received from Michael Mum wrote "turning point" so I assume
she felt Michael was changing his ways.
Turning Point
Mum
writes turning point on the top of a letter dated 10th July 1992, sent by
Michael from SamÕs Place, Song Kwan Rd, Kanchanabari.
Michael
writes, ÒLast week I went to Bangkok to speak with the embassy but they told me
no help can be given what so ever and the only way is to get some money from
home to clear my visa overstay and an air ticket home. They said they would get
their office in London to contact you. I have also written to Auntie Edith.
The
straight facts are as follows: I have been on overstay since February 16th
which is 100B fine a day= £350 to date. And to clear it I must have the money
to go to the immigration plus an air ticket home £300. If not I will go to
prison and work off my fine for £2 per day. Then I have to pay for the air
ticket and deportation costs, which doesnÕt get me anywhere. They will keep me
in prison indefinitely until money comes. Every day I stay here is about
another £2.40.
I am
ill with worry. I do not have any thing left here or in England, only my family
who have helped me time and time again. I have been so foolish over my life. I
have no will power to go on living. I cannot face the future. I know I must
find a way to get back to England. David said I could live with him for a while
which could be good as I could not face living in Eastbourne. I would have to
start where nobody knows me, as I canÕt handle being with people who know
whatÕs happened to me since I have been in Thailand.
Why
did the Embassy tell you I was fit and well? How do they know how much I am
suffering inside myself? At the
moment I am living at the above address.
My clothes I keep in a hold- all and I keep it in the toilet of a boat
where I sleep on deck at night. I get food free but thatÕs all.
Please,
please help me, as I know the Embassy cannot. Please give me a ring with a word
of encouragement. The best time is at 11 am your time. Just ask for Michael. PS.
I have written to every one I know for help but no joy.
All
my love Michael xxx.
It was at this time, while Michael was in Thailand, that I now realised
that I was searching for something that I hadnÕt got from within my marriage,
even though I had a wife, four children, a nice house and a good job. I had
come out of depression (a sever
manic low) and was now beginning to climb higher.
My wife had begun her degree course and I felt she began to look down
upon those who was not as educated as she was. Also I felt that she no longer
respected me, as I was not an Art student graduate, just a mere low-level engineer.
I had listened to the Postmodernist arguments regarding morality and religion
and became a perfect student as I began to deny the existence of God and to
entertain the idea of an open marriage.
Meeting
Silver Girl
For the sake of anonymity I have named
my wife to be, ÒSilver GirlÓ, due to the addiction I experienced through
meeting her, or ÒNurse RatchetÓ, depending on my mood as I write. Nurse Ratchet
is a character in the film, ÒOne Flew over a Cock CuckooÕs NestÓ,
staring Jack Nicholson. Nurse
Ratchet was a psychiatric nurse and it so happened I fell in love with a
psychiatric nurse.
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The name ÒSilver GirlÓ is taken
from the line of the song ÒBridge over
troubled WatersÓ, by Simon and Garfunkel. In this song they make mention of Sliver Girl, which is of
course the heroine needle that the addict depends upon.
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One Sunday morning, in 1992,
whilst my family and I were attending the Titchfield Evangelical Church, we met
a lady in the car park, behind the doctorsÕ surgery. She was blond and had four
children with her. She was going to the same church that we were going to.
I soon discovered she was not the
mother of all these children. She only had two children and she was separated
from her husband. My wife and I befriended her and we became good friends.
I had not long come out of
depression and I notice my mood getting higher. I began to feel very happy. I
began to be interested in my wife's studies at university and we began to do
interesting things. Silver Girl became my wife's very close friend and at that
time I was very happy and on reflection was rising out of depression into a
manic high.
We met interesting people, Dr
Geoff Parsons, a doctor in psychology and moderator of the local Macintosh user
group in Southampton, who specialised in peopleÕs sexual problems. We met
another Mac user, Richard Block, the former of B&Q; he was the original
Block & Quail. My wife at that time had a crush on him but he was
interested in health foods and alternative medicine. During this time I began to fall
in love with Silver Girl.
Making
music
During this time my memories of
former pop music came to the front and I recalled songs by the Everly Brothers
and Billy Fury. I was so taken with these old songs that I ask one of my
students, Jim Berry, who was a keyboard player in a local group and a former member of The Yarbirds, to
compose a backing track to ÒHalfway to ParadiseÓ, by Billy Fury. This was
before karaoke was well known and I took this track and played it at Silver
Girl's party, singing the words, which were for her.
Falling in love
It wasn't long before I felt
Silver Girl would full- fill my every dream. I knew this was wrong but with my
newfound philosophy that I had learned from my wifeÕs Cultural Studies at Portsmouth
University I ignored my conscience and felt no one could say it was wrong. So
because I wanted this relationship with Silver Girl, I denied the truth of God,
in order to get what I wanted.
Michael returns from
Thailand
I was at this time, June 1993,
that my brother Michael returned from Thailand and he did not look well at all,
and on reflection he was suffering from depression but said nothing to me. He had nowhere to live, or money. So he came to live with me at our home
in Fareham. He was quite content to live in our caravan, in our front garden
and stayed with us until he was able to decide his way forward. He met Silver Girl and was aware of the
developing relationship but said nothing. It was after this that he made the
decision to return to our parent's home, in Eastbourne and it was there he
earned money by buying and selling cars.
Highlands
Road and the BMX Bike Frame
My mood was very high at this time and one day
Isaac came home from school very upset because some lad up Highlands Road had
tucked him up for £13.00. Apparently he had offered him a BMX bike frame for
£13.00, as he wanted money that we later found out was to buy 1/8th
ounce of Hash. Isaac gave him the money in exchange for the BMX frame but the
lad would not give him the frame. I felt very angry and realized what I must
do. I was dressed in an overall and said to Isaac come with me and we will find
this person. I drove my motorbike with Isaac on the back and we toured the
Highlands estate asking for the where about of this boy.
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We were directed to a house where he lived and
I marched up to the front door and knocked him up. When he opened the door
Isaac confirmed it was him so I, without hesitation, marched into his house,
not caring whom else might be there and simply demanded ÒWHERE IS ITÓ,
meaning the frame or the money. The boy must have been about 16 years old and
said he had neither. To which I replied, ÒRight go and get me something worth moneyÓ, and he asked why and
said is it for securityÓ, to which I replied, ÒYesÓ. He bought from upstairs
a stereo system and a quick look found it poor quality so I said that is not
good enough go and get a better one. When he returned with a better one I
informed him he could collect the stereo when he paid back the £13.00. Then
we drove off.
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Isaac flat
Land
Motor Bike
Burnt out
The next day when I retuned from work I was
informed that the next door neighbourÕs motor bike had been set light too and I
then realized that this was done in retaliation for me taking the stereo system
in payment for the £13.00 taken from Isaac. I was thankful that the bike next
door was insured against such crime. That how ever wasnÕt the end of the matter
as word had got around that they had hit the wrong bike and the next day my
bike was taken and found burned out in the park, down the road to Appleton
Road. I thought thatÕs OK as I was
insured too but I later discovered, to my disappointment, that I had to pay the
first £150.00 on any insurance claim. I only paid £150.00 for the bike so I
lost out and the Highland Road lads got one over on me. (I wonder who they are?)
Leaving my wife and
children
Thinking totally of my self- I
canÕt blame anyone else - and after my wife had discovered that I had a
relationship with Silver Girl, I left her and moved out of my house, taking all
the things I needed with me. I took our caravan and joined the Abshott Country
Club, parking the caravan in their camping park. I was hoping all would be
easy, that the dust would settle and things would turn out well. This was not
to be the case because although I could see Silver Girl I felt so very guilty
and this spoiled our times together as I tried to suppress my guilt.
My wife, with her newfound
education and philosophy, had opened her mind to new ideas and she too had her
own doubts about God. She had entertained the idea of another partner at one
time and leaving me. However things had turned. I wanted to marry the girl I
loved. But things were far from easy. I began to reason there was no God, no
condemnation and so I could do as I pleased and I was going to get my woman at
all costs.
ÒBut the thing that David had done
displeased the LordÓ. 11 Samuel
11 verses 27.
This is a quotation from the
bible, which relates the story of David, the king, who committed adultery with
Bathsheba and she became pregnant.
The story tells how David arranged to have her husband killed, so he
could marry her and cover up his sin. This happened - her husband was killed
and David married Bathsheba but the baby died. They did however have another child
who became the ancestor of Jesus Christ.
In my case things did fail. I had
left my wife and got my girl but we were both very miserable and insecure with
each other. Silver Girl realized she could not cope with the situation, as
things stood. I became depressed and at the end of myself and had nowhere to
turn for help. I was desperate alone in my caravan not being able to see a good
future.
In this condition I knew I needed
God but I did not believe in God. I knew I had wronged my wife, children and
many others, in the process. I would have invented God, if I could, for I
believed that only God could help us in our situation. It was impossible. I
just needed to cry out for help, to someone or being, to deliver me from my
utter despair.
A Prodigal Son
I knew that I could not pray to
God (the God whom I remembered and knew from the scriptures) in my present
state because of a truth, which had remained with me. It is written, God
will not hear the prayer of the wicked. I knew that whilst I was not
prepared to give up my sin, I could not pray since God would not hear my
prayers – i.e. if I regarded that iniquity in my heart.
At that time when I was living in
my caravan at Abshott Country Club, I remember reasoning how I might turn back
to God in prayer. I shared my thoughts with Silver Girl and we both decided we
had to give up our relationship because it was wrong and I ought to offer to go
back to my wife.
At that time I met a friend, from
the Lock Heath Free Church, and he made an appointment to see me, in order to
talk through my dilemma and difficulties. He was a great help and support and
encouraged me to seek God. Both he and his wife had been through divorce and
difficulties and were able to appreciate all the heartache and pain that was
associated with divorce and separation.
If it were not for the mercy of
God I would have been totally lost and in an awful state of mind. I may have
ended my life, as things were so bad. I had nowhere else to turn and I needed
God more than ever before. I bless the Lord for He heard my cry.
It was then that the simple words
of Jesus that helped me and washed my mind of the lies I had believed. Faith
came to me by hearing the Word of God.
On reflection I now know God had
called me back to Himself, as He was not going to let me go. As Jesus had once
said to me he would never leave me. I left him but he came after me using
lifeÕs difficulties to drive me home.
I spoke to my wife about the
situation and informed her I would return to her if she wanted but thankfully
she informed me she had found a partner and wanted to divorce me. This was in
February 1993.
I was made to walk the
plank
When I was told that my wife was
going to divorce me I was thankful because I now felt I could return to be with
Silver Girl without my conscience accusing me that I must return to my
wife. I was shocked and taken back
when I broke the good news to Silver Girl as I thought she too would be happy.
This was not the case! She felt that I had only returned because my wife had
rejected me, that I had wanted to return to her. Silver Girl maintained that
this made her feel second best. I was speechless because it had been muted
before that she could not feel secure with me as I had already left a wife and
what would prevent me doing the same to her? She had reasoned that if I had the
capacity to leave a wife and children, without a conscience than I would be a
cold and callous individual.
In the
early part of 1993 to 94 I decided I should find more suitable accommodation
rather than live in the caravan throughout the winter. Silver Girl had her own
house, living with her two children and we believed we should wait until we
were married before we lived together. From this time our relationship was so
unstable and insecure it was touch and go if we would ever make it together. It
was awful for me as every time we argued Silver Girl would say she would move
to Canada or France if ever she thought I did not want her or if we split up.
Anyway,
I enquired about a room, which had become available in Hayling Close, in
Fareham, It was here that I met Simon Noel and his cat "Baldric" who
only had three legs. Simon also rented a room at number 2 and David Jennings
was our landlord.
There
was a rear garden that had overgrown with an ironing board in the middle and a
tin foil food take away tray, formed into a do -it -yourself barbecue sitting
on the board. I thought the garden was a mess, ideal how ever for a cat. This
became my home for the next 3 years while I waited my release by divorce, which
took place in August 1996.
It
was here that I began to contend with my bi-polar or manic mood swings. As the
disputes, arguments and insecurities that I experience with Nurse Ratchet
plunged me now into those chasms of deep depression. However my creative mind,
on a high, devised ideas to sustain the highs, to prevent my depressions. At
one time during these depressed periods I had contemplated suicide, using my
brothers shot gun, but I kept these things secret and told no one but a
Samaritan Counsellor in Portsmouth. I fought the lows of depression by creating
artificial highs, as will be seen by the things that I got up too during this
period.
I wanted more room
After
living in one room for a few weeks and sharing the downstairs lounge with
Simon, I noticed the small bedroom was not in use and was filled with SimonÕs
gear, so I asked the landlord if I could rent this room as well as the room I
had. I wanted my kids to come and stay with me, from time to time. They were
Isaac (14), Esther (13), Eleanor (11), and David (11), who all lived with their
mother and they were students at Henry Cort School. I don't think Simon was
please with this arrangement because that was BaldricÕs bedroom, and Simon also
wanted it as a free office. Simon was a bit like his cat and was territorial as
he placed one or two of his things everywhere, including the garage, just to
say he lived there too.
Harrods
of Abshott
I had
far more time on my hands, than a married man would have had, and at that time
I discovered ÒHarrods of AbshottÓ,
the most salubrious shopping centre in Hampshire.
I soon learned there were other
branches in Southampton, Gosport and Port Solent. There were many bargains to
be found at Harrods that I could not really refuse to buy. There were
televisions, computers, washing machines, weighing machines, tools, equipment,
furniture and clothing and they were generally all at rock bottom prices.
ÒHarrodsÓ was in fact the local amenity tip – the dump. Now run by Shaun
of Hopkins Recycling Company of Botley, Hampshire.
Shopping
for other people
I often found my
self-shopping with other people in mind, which meant that when I saw items of
value that I did not really need I would buy the valuable article for someone I
had in mind. I asked Simon if I could just put a few things in the garage and use
it as a store. Not that it was SimonÕs garage but because he was the older,
long-standing tenant, and he had taken over the garage for himself.
After a few weeks he began to
moan about my televisions and other things being stored in the garage. I think
he felt I was taking over the house. (Which I was).
The Television License
It was shortly after that we had
a blazing row over his TV Licence and then he wanted my things out of the
garage. His problem was that he had paid for a television license for his room,
and not for the benefit of whole house. He did this because in the past the
other tenants did not wish to club together and buy one license, for the whole
house, so he had bought his own and informed the licensing authority that the
other tenants needed to buy their own as he was not prepared to pay for others
to watch TV at his expense. This was SimonÕs way to ensure that no one else at
the house could benefit from the license he had bought.
Now Simon had not told me about
this history however things began to fall into place because a week previously
he had slipped a note under my bedroom door, which was from the TV licensing
authority wanting me to buy a license.
You see I never watched the TV
but he did. He was unemployed and watched his TV all alone in his own
room but had been caught watching it without a licence and was required to
renew his license and possibly face a fine
His drift was this; if I were to
contribute half the money to renew his license then I could watch the TV set in
the lounge because his licence would cover that as well. This sounded very
reasonable at first but I felt there was something more to the scheme than
Simon had let on, so I said no. This niggled Simon.
What niggled Simon was the fact
that I repaired TVÕs and videos in the lounge, and I had also started storing
them in the garage. Simon did not like it because he began to think the
Licensing Authority did not trouble the house to inspect for licenses simply
because he had paid for one already. In effect he thought I was benefiting from
him having a licence - I should
pay.
He had the garage and because I
refused to buy a TV licence he was not very co operative with me and did not
want me storing TVÕs and other things, in the (his?) garage.
I had moved in and Simon
knew it
I had moved in and he knew it and
he felt if I had a TV or repaired them in the house then I would have to buy a
licence. So Simon did have a point.
However as far as I was concerned
I only collected TVÕs from the dump and repaired them with other people in
mind. I did not need a TV even though most people did. I suppose I felt that
the TV license was a good earner. For me and my argument went like this; I
repaired televisions for other people to watch and so they would have to buy
their own license and of course the government would be helped financial by my
service. So really I felt I should be exempt from a licence. This was my
drift and I still think there is some mileage in my argument.
Simon was not happy and I am sure
he thought I was most unreasonable but he never thought to discuss it with me
he just went off ÒHalf cocked.Ó One
evening it happened - as I repaired a TV set in the lounge that evening he
became very angry. He came at me in frenzy and threatening to hit me with a
chair, as he smashed it across the table.
He was a well-built man and about 6 feet tall and he could have
flattened, me if he had hit me, but I stood my ground and he scurried off back
to his room.
I take over the house at
Hayling Close
It was soon after this that Simon
left because he had had enough of me and he took the other tenants with him,
leaving the house empty. It was now that the landlord offered me the whole
house for £400 per month and gave me permission to rent out the other rooms.
This was unfortunate for the neighbours, who did not share my interests. I took over the house and my
habits continued. Shopping at Harrods continued. The more people I knew the
more items I found to buy and so I soon filled the garage with wonderful items
of value.
I take in lodgers
My
first tenant was a Mr Alan McCarthy, a window cleaner who had come from
Manchester, although he had lived in Fareham for some time. I said he could
have a room for £40 per week. I hadn't realised, but he had been living in a
motor vehicle ambulance in a garage, somewhere near Segensworth throughout that
winter, and had severe problems due to possible drug abuse and his broken
marriage. I discovered he was a baptised member of the Mormon Church but was
not actually practising. I think he
appreciated the fact that I took him, in without references. He had a few
pounds, but that was all.
For
Alan things were not easy and I am sure he felt a bit like Jonah (a character from the Bible) as things
started to go wrong for him the moment he moved in with me. In straightening
out his room he attempted to nail down the floorboards only to find he put a
nail through the central heating water pipe that Sunday evening and water was
running everywhere. Alan felt he
was to blame and found it difficult to cope with. Nevertheless I soon fixed
this, to his relief.
My
next tenant was Sean Land (some say Private Land). He was a friend of Alan and
had been living in his Ford Fiesta during the winter nights too. I think Sean also had problems with drug
misuse, a broken relationship and was not able to see his daughter. Sean had a
more personal problem- his music and his feet. His music was too loud and his
feet smelt.
It
was their music, which caused the neighbours to complain to the council. We
were served with noise monitoring forms and threatened with confiscation of
equipment if the noise level was not kept down. It was difficult to convince
these lads of the amount of noise they were making.
The
next inmate was Mark, another acquaintance of Alan and Sean. Occasionally Mark's girlfriends stayed
the night.
Joe
Neve was the next to take up residence; he loved cars and was in an out of
trouble with the police all the time.
It
was from Joe that I obtained my lovely Fiesta, a 1.4 cc engine, in nice condition,
for £40. This car took the place of
my car (TAN 707Y), which I bought,
from a Motor Vehicle lecturer at Fareham College.
David's Fiesta - one of the best cars I had (Cheers Joe)
A run in with the Police
The
problem with older cars is that they tend to go wrong but a Fiesta can be
easily fixed. One evening, coming back from Gosport my exhaust pipe was blowing
and I got pulled over by the police on a routine spot check. I was given a
ÒProducerÓ, which is a note to get the car fixed within 7 days. On my way home
however, I had to pick up my daughter, Esther, from the Locks Heath Free Church,
and in the dark I realised my indicators had stopped working when I was nearing
the church. I noticed another police car coming in the other direction towards
me and I felt anxious and thought
Òoh dearÓ as my indicators were not working and I would now be pulled
over again. So I quickly pulled into the church car park. I then left the car
unlocked and tried to enter the church only to find the doors locked. I then
felt certain the police were about to come back to the car and check it out. I
had lots of things in side, which looked like I was moving house but to a
policeman it would look like I had robbed a house. Not wanting to face another
interrogation from the police I decided I would just leave the car and come
back to it later. So I went around the back of the church, walked up the road
and rang up Esther to find out where she was, but first I had to climb a fence,
a wooden spiked fence. As I straddled the wooden spiky fence, I slipped and
felt the spike go up into my groin. I was stuck, in pain, straddle across a
fence, almost hanging by my testicles. This was because I did not want another
rectification certificate for my indicator lamps or a fine.
I
managed to get down from the fence and hobble up the road. My inside legs felt
wet and warm. It was not too painful so I hobbled to the phone and found out
where Esther was.
After
this I decided I had had enough. I thought to myself - what I am doing here
hobbling about in pain waiting for the police to leave me alone. I told myself that I would return the
car, confront the police, and just go home, as it was only the winkers that had
stopped working. I was hoping that the police had gone by now.
As I
walked back down Hunts Pond Road the police car had parked along side my
Fiesta. I marched up to them and
asked directly could I help them, as they were busy checking the car over. I
had left the doors unlocked and they were now checking to see if I owned the
car. They could see all the stuff in side and it must have looked as though I
had robbed a house. They asked me who I was and did the car belong to me and
what was I doing. I then explained to them I had come to collect my daughter
but the youth group had closed earlier and she had been picked up. By this time
a returned radio call to the police radio confirmed I was the owner of the car
(Thankfully I had it registered in my name and it was taxed and I had an
insurance certificate). They then left me and I drove home. The winkers were
not even mentioned.
All I
did was retire to bed as I was not well and did not see the damage that I had
done by being spiked with the wooden stake. I slept in my clothes and called
for help the next morning. When my wife -to- be came, who was a nurse, she said
I must go to hospital as I was damaged. The stake had pierced my left testicle
sack and blood was everywhere, all down my trouser legs and it was difficult to
see the extent of the damage.
After
going to QA Hospital I was examined and it was felt I would have to go to St
Mary's Hospital for surgery, as it was a severe wound. It was there that two
male Indian doctors dealt with me. ÒThis wonÕt hurt,Ó said one of them and I
saw like a huge syringe needle in the other mans hand. They opened my legs (I
felt very embarrassed and humiliated when they asked how it happened) they
thought that I was a burglar running from the police.
I was
sewn up and eventually released.
It
was a very near close shave and I felt God had a sense of humour and I must
learn a lesson. I wonder if you could tell me the lesson. E-mail me with your
thoughts. The torn jeans were hung up in my lounge for a along time as a token
to remember.
My house becomes full
The
next inmate was Rob White, a friend of Sean, who had nowhere to live, so he had
BaldricÕs bedroom. Rob had a small
Jack Russell, called Sally, and shortly after that Rob's girl friend Carla
Walsh needed short-term accommodation. Carla was only 16 years old and I was
informed her mother had kicked her out.
She moved in as well - I had tried to get alternative accommodation with
a girl called Angie - which is another story. Needless to say Carla and Sally
ended up at number 2 Hayling Close.
Sam Jones& Bruno, Carla, Sally, Rob and Joe Neve
By
this time Alan had met a girl called Samantha Jones from Manchester and she
bravely moved to Fareham to be with Alan. Sam had a son called John and a small
Jack Russell, called Bruno and they were looking for a home of their own. They
all ended up at number 2 Hayling Close. Sam's son John spoke with an accent
just as I had done when I moved at 5 years old from Oldham to Watford. He would
always ask me technical questions about how to repair things and Sam soon
realised he had become my apprentice.
John my apprentice
Joe's
friend Kinder soon wanted somewhere to live as he had just come out of prison
so the lounge had to be his room. The lounge had been my room and so I had to
move out.
If
you have tried to live in a house with 10 or 11 people and two small Jack
Russell's - it is quite taxing. Sometimes Sean and his friends would stay the
night so the house was quite full. It was Rob and Carla that cause a bit of a
stress as they always left their washing up undone. They always denied it so I
ended up by installing a "No bodies washing up sinkÓ, which I had managed
to scavenge from Harrods.
No bodies "Washing Up Sink"
The House Court
About
this time my go-kart, which had been given me by a farmer who attended in
Wantage Strict Baptist Chapel many years ago, was stolen from outside my
wife's- to- be house in Stubbington.
After
making a few enquiries I found out who had taken it so I decided rather than
get these youngsters (16 year olds) into trouble with the police I would give
them a chance. I spoke to one of the culprit's mothers (he is P.R. of
Stubbington) and told her what I intended to do and she was most obliging and
appreciated me not involving the police. I knew where the kart was and went to
the house and sure enough the lad was there. I simply said I had come to
collect the kart. He was unable to say a word as there it was in the back
garden, so I got him to help me put it in the Fiesta. I told him that I wanted
to see him and his friend at 8.00 p.m. the next day as I was taking them to my
house for a hearing.
Alan the House Court Judge
At 8
p.m. the next night, I collected these two lads (their names are withheld) and
I had assembled in the lounge at number 2 Hayling Close a lounge villain,
ex-convicts, friends and renowned characters from Fareham. Rob White's brother
was there, who has just been released from prison. These made up the court.
Alan McCarthy was the judge.
The
two 16 year olds stood (in there peer group they would have been considered
cool and hard) as quiet as mice. I think they were asked whether they pleaded
guilty or very guilty. After listening to me, then to David White, and a few
others they were warned of the dangers of stealing goods etc. We did not want
them ending up like some of us. They were fined £25 (the cost of a powder coat
re-spray) and given time to pay. The money was paid on time. We heard no more
about these lads. I hoped they learned their lesson. If you know them get them
to e- mail me as they are on my list. nbpttc@yahoo.co.uk
I move into a tent in the
back garden:
My lodgers were generally people
who really needed help. Their friends began to want to live with us and
gradually the house was full. Of course the neighbours found this household too
much to cope with and some believed that we had become a religious sect.
I decided after this time to move
out in the garden to make room for Kinder, Joe's friend. So I built a spacious
tent in the garden out of scaffold poles and an awning from Harrods. It was a
lovely (tent) room. I had a wardrobe,
drawers, and table hi.fi. System etc. Some said I was like Lawrence of Arabian
living in the comfort of a lovely tent in the summer. I enjoyed my stay that
summer but then the winter came.
|
David's
tent in the garden
|
Inside
David's tent
|
At that time one of my mature students from Fareham College offered me
a room in his house, in Locks Heath. I stayed here until November 1996, when I
had planned to marry Silver Girl and then we could live together. This was to
avoid Fareham Borough Council charging us with over- crowding a domestic
residence.
The tent comes down
Sean and his friends
All
these lads are on "Dave's List"
Do I need a good woman or a
minder?
On reflection, as I look over
this period of my life, I realise that I was not safe living on my own but
rather needed a good woman behind me but some would say I needed a minder. I'm
of the opinion that if Silver Girl been a real help to me, the neighbours would
have been spared an awful lot of trouble. She would have been sensitive enough
to help with the situations that arose and ensured that I considered the
neighbours.
It is for this reason I now blame
Silver Girl for all the troubles that the neighbourÕs had at Hayling Close J. If had we been living together in a
proper relationship she would have ensured the neighbours were not troubled by
the things I got up to. Instead she was living away from me, as a single
parent, doing a full time job. I
now maintain that had she been the homemaker I wanted and not the stereotypical
women chauvinist, claiming equal rights with men, then the neighbours would
have had a reasonable time through her help. So I really feel that Hayling
Close had Silver Girl to blame for all their troubles,
to this day. That is my story and I am sticking to it (tongue in cheek).
A fresh look at Christian
Marriage
At this time I began
to take a fresh look at Christian marriage and studied what the Bible had to
say. When sharing my findings with Silver Girl she agreed and we wanted a Christian
marriage. I thought that much of societies troubles of the day were due to the
influence of television and programs which portrayed the modern views of the
world, many of which I believed were wrong. In particular I blamed the
inequalities between men and women and the over reaction in society to redress
these problems. I felt that those women who were claiming equal rights with men
were contributing to all the evils in the world. My conclusions and my
understanding of what a Christian marriage is all about are recorded in Chapter
30 of this book. I accepted every tenet and sought to live this way with Silver
Girl.
I began to learn,
through the many arguments I had with Silver Girl, and those problems that I
had with women in the past, that the problems were due to them having lost
sight of their created roles as helpers. They had become dictators. In every
case that I had met I noticed such women loose their beauty and become the
proverbial nag, or nagger. At one time such women would have been ducked in the
ducking stool (I.e. a trial by water) as being a witch i.e. one that control a
man by subtlety. Maybe that was my manic
reaction to my trouble with women.
It took me a long
time and much pain to realise that women are far more sensitive to
situations than men and that women are best to judge such issues, which cause
others to be upset. Men just do not think. They certainly do not think like
women. Hence my new proposed book ÒElectronics made easyÓ, which is a humorous
book making use of those differences between men and women, by describing the
operations of complicated electronic circuits in a new light. I tried this out
whilst teaching students about the operation of a tuned circuit whilst at
Fareham College, the inductor having the characteristics of a man whilst the
capacitor has the characteristics of woman. My students loved my illustrations. We
made a video of one lecture and I am sure John Cleese would find it most
amusing.
Seeking to help Alan and
Sam
On one occasion Silver Girl and I
went to help Alan and Sam as Alan had gone out for the evening with his friends
to a night club, leaving Sam on her own and she was concerned that Alan might
be returning to his former bad habits. We both went to see Sam and I suggested
it would be good for us to pray together for her and with her as I had hoped
that they might find God's help. In conversation I said to Silver Girl, when
referring to Alan who had gone off to the nightclub, ÒThere
go I but for the grace of GodÓ. In other words if I did not have Christian
values, I might be just like Alan, wanting to go out to a nightclub, with his
mates, when I could have been at home with my family and not seeking the life
of single man, without responsibilities.
This really caused Silver Girl to
react, she fell really insecure, and wanted to talk about the matter
immediately rather than give Sam the support we had come to give. I was aware
that this was just the beginning of another row and wanted to talk to talk
about it later, not in front of Sam. So I refused to talk about it there and
then. The atmosphere at number 2
went so tense that Sam left and went to her room, and of course we were of no
help or comfort to her. Eventually
Silver Girl got up and left, walking or getting a taxi back to her home. She
felt I was saying that I wanted to go out just like Alan and that it was only
the fact that I believed in God that prevented this. She feared that if ever I
turned away from God then would be off leaving her. This of course is nonsense.
Every Christian will admit the human heart is capable of many wrong things and
that God is the one who keeps them from falling. I am not sure if this matter
was ever resolved or if Silver Girl understood what I was saying or meant.
Michael during this time had new ideas and
sought to develop his ideas to form a travel business. He had met Freddy Laker
earlier in his life and put together his business plan; "Paradise Express" and he informed me of what he intended
to do in the Philippines in February, 1995. He had been to Angeles City, in the
Philippines, and identified many nightclubs, hotels and travel attractions and
agreed to work with those businesses already functioning in the sex industry.
Michael intended to sell package tours aimed at single men, to take advantage
of those attractions already functioning. I felt it was wrong. I had already
spoken to him, at our mum and dad's home, after I had seen his advertising for
his "Paradise Express". He was advertising holidays, in the English
National newspapers, for persons to enjoy the sexual attractions, which was
offered in Angeles City, in the Philippines.
Front & rear cover of "Paradise Express"
He maintained it was all right that they loved
that sort of thing and every one was into it. He maintained that it was
perfectly above board and legitimate.
However I was not happy about it and asked him how would he like some
man to use his daughter Jessica as a sexual attraction and be one of the girls
he was advertising. He said he wouldn't but out there they are different
– and maintained they loved it
It was a very shocking and sad to hear the
news in June 1995 on the television, that Tuesday lunchtime, at Fareham College.
It was announced that an English sex tour operator had been arrested and
remanded in custody in the Philippines, to await a trial.
At that time I had no real idea what the
actual charges were against him but realised it was to do with his travel
business, involving all the existing exotic nightlife and sex attractions in
Angeles City. I had no idea that the allegation was to do with child
prostitution.
The ITN news at 10, that evening, showed a
video clip of Michael apparently directing an enquirer to a child prostitute.
The pictures were very convincing and I felt very sad and groaned in side, I
was shocked because I had no reason to ever think Michael would be involved
with child prostitution. He had always been straightforwardly blatant with what
he had done in the past and so I had no reason to believe he was involved now
in the said sad and awful crime until now.
Michael had written to the Eastbourne Herald
asking Anne Mari Shields to contact mum and dad, as he could get not through to
them. He wrote, "I'm fine but
the thought of being on possible Death Row is getting to me. My attorney is
great so far we a winning. An armed escort has transferred me from the military
jail and I am now at the Headquarters N.B.I. Olongopo City".
No doubt Mum and dad were not responding the
way Michael wanted this was probable due to the last time he got in trouble in
Bangkok, Thailand. Mum had to do so much for him and deal with all his affairs.
Mum had become ill and couldn't deal with the demands he kept placing on them
for financial help and dealing with his affairs in England.
It was the 29th February 1996, that
my mother died, leaving my father a widower and the stated cause of death being
pulmonary embolism, deep vein thrombosis of the leg and Coronary artery
thrombosis and atherosclerosis. I was of the opinion that the awful news of
Michaels arrest in June 1995 and imprisonment in the Philippines, was
contributory to her death as I felt she really died of a broken heart.
I too had little sympathy for Michael because
Mum had bailed him out of Prison (for not paying he visa) in Thailand and no
sooner had come home he was off and gone to the Philippines and was in trouble
again. His travel business was immoral (from my point of view) as it was
trading on the promiscuous nature of persons not bound by Christian values. It
was encouraging fornication and I was opposed to him and this activity and I
had told him so, before he went to the Philippines. Just like I warned Ken
Knight about his bogus insurance scam.
I learned later that Michael had protested his
innocence from the beginning and maintained that a certain Fr. Shay Cullen, an
Irish Priest, was behind the set up and apparently it was he who directed the
ITV news video crew to entrap him on Baloy Beach.
The full NBI report of this incident was
brought to me by Suny Wilson, the English man who was sentenced to death, on 16th
September 1996, after he was acquitted, on the 19th December 1999,
when he returned to the UK. This
report clears Michael of the said charges but seriously indicts Fr. Shay
Cullen. I never saw this report until January 2000 some 5 years after the
event. This information is all recorded in my publication Trojan Warriors.
Michael
had been found guilty of "Promoting child prostitution", in the
Philippines in October 1996 and sentenced to a term 14 to 16 years. To be
served in New Bilibid Prison. Muntinlupa City, Philippines. Had always
protested his innocence. His sentence was announced on national ITV news and it
was the previous ITN news clips, which were used as evidence to convict him in
the Philippine court. It was awful it made him out to be selling children for
sex. The exact nature of the offences was not clear from the News item.
I had written to Michael several times and I
found it difficult really believe he had been selling or promoting child
prostitution, as the ITN TV camera portrayed. He had written to me and I have
the whole story written in his own hand, as to how he was "set up" by
Martin Cottingham, Adam Holloway and Fr. Shah Cullen.
Michael maintains the TV camera was cut and
spliced to make out he was doing some thing he was not. He also describes what
actually took place between Malcolm Cottingham and his friend Adam Holloway, as
they pretended to be holiday seekers with Paradise Express.
Michael was very bitter against Shay Cullen
and this showed in his letter to me, he really believes him to be the real
culprit of these evil actions. He outlined his life style as a man having a
luxury life style and in a lovely mansion with bodyguards etc. and soliciting
funds from abroad, using headline-catching news to attract further funds from
abroad. These things he wrote in
his letters.
Crime Prevention Programs
Whilst Michael
was suffering in prison in the Philippines I was at home reassessing my own
life in light of my returning Christian convictions and responsibilities
towards my children. I was concerned about IsaacÕs future and wanted to keep
him from becoming a criminal. It is on reflection that I am now able to define
certain social activities as CPPÕs
because these were identified as the best way to meet people and steer them
away from crime. This meant joining recreation groups or inviting them to join
you in any creative activity. I believe these programs are necessary to prevent
crime. Also to bring fulfillment to those involved because generally people who
are creative need to be actively engaged in good social activity, otherwise
they are prone to be involved in crime, in one way or another. One such CPP is that of the BMX social
network, which Isaac my son got involved in when he was 13 or 14 years old.
And to do this he needed a BMX bike.
Isaac and
Luke Fuller at Skelly Woods
Any way
Isaac got involved in BMX riding and made many friends and at that time they
got into Ò dirtÓ riding and him and his BMXÕers made Skelly Woods into a great
BMX dirt track. The Council eventually kicked them out which was a real shame.
Portsmouth Skate Park
This was
the place were many BMXÕers road their bikes and met many o their friends. And
it was there that I first meet Dennis
WIngham who did a back flip on his old battered BMX. I was very impressed.
It was here that Isaac got hooked into what I call a CPP (Crime Prevention
Program) as it kept him busy and out of trouble. It provided a social network
for friendship and good activity, which is better, them crime. There are
sensible and famous people at the Skate Park such as Ephraim Catlow, Isaac Clarke, Denis WIngham, Jim Stevens, Rodney Burnham,
Jamie Knipe, Colin Hunt, Martin Hunt,
Ronnie Johnson (Remo) DJ Jon Pratt, John Hopkins, Richards Wells, Stephen Drain
(Drainer) Anthony Pill (Pill) and many more.
Hasting and Backyard
Another
yearly event for BMXÕers was an event held near Hastings where BMXÕer from all
over the country, including riders from America would come and ride. It was a
real good event and most people camped overnight on common ground. I took
Isaac, Esther and their friends in my Transit van and that was were we slept.
These CPPÕs, such as Portsmouth Skate Park and Backyard events involve those
participating in good recreational activities thus keeping them busy, out of
trouble and good creative competitive fun.
Isaac Luke
and friends at Backyard event in Hastings
Isaac Clarke King of Southsea 2011
The
evidence that confirms my believes is that Isaac got linked into BMX and skate
board riding from an early age and this year won the 2011 King of Southsea Award. He
has never been to prison and managed to avoid becoming a criminal. Unlike me
who became a convicted criminal at the age of 17 years old.
IsaacÕs King of Southsea Trophy
Other Criminal Prevention programs
Realizing
the value of such programÕs I began to get involved in all sorts of social
activities, which involved Music, Drama, Art, Public Relations. This was the
time of my separation from my second marriage, which I will be speaking about
later. It kept me busy and occupied
and also opened up social networks which enabled me to meet other and share the
gospel with them on their terms. There are such a programs such as Faith and Foot Ball, involving Pompy
players such as Darren Moore, Linvoy
Primus and Mick Mellows. I am sure there are others programs but such programs
are needed in our day to prevent the kind of riots that we have recently
witnessed in our country.
Being in the world yet not of the world
Through my experience and getting involved with
these activities I have just mentioned I realized there was not virtue in
isolating oneself from the world like some religious people believed we should
do. There are many religious groups like this and have such mentality such as
the Brethren, Strict Baptists, JehovahÕs Witnesses and so on. I also believed
we should be leaders of men rather than followers and it was good to be in
touch with critical issues of our time rather than be Òseveral steps behindÕ. Those
that are several steps behind seek to provide answers to questions that people
are no longer asking. I believed it was right to be both relevant and different
as if we fail to be relevant, we cannot be heard. Also if we fail to be
different, we have nothing to say. In the meaning of John 17:14–15 14, I have given them your word, and the world has hated them because they
are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. 15 I do not ask that you
take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one.
During this time my son Isaac rode his BMX
with the riders from Portsmouth and I went from time to time to meet the lads
at Portsmouth Skate Park. On this occasion these lads were having some fun
riding and old BMX bike, up a ramp and over harbour wall, and into the sea. One
Sunday afternoon Esther and her friend Emma Jean was there and I had with me my
daughter Elly and Jim Gold and we arrived in my Fiesta. It looked great fun
riding into the sea on this bike so I decided to have ago. I had never done it
before and wanted to pull off a back flip, so I asked some of the lads how to
do it. I followed their instructions to the ÒTÓ and sure enough up, up and over;
I managed to pull off my first back flip on a BMX into the sea. The crowed was
great they cheered me on. My daughters were getting concerned and begged me not
to do it again s it looked dangerous but I wasnÕt deterred.
To make it more fun I drove my Fiesta side
ways on, at the harbour edge, and got the lads to put the ramp up against it. I
was going to do a back flip, jumping the Fiesta into the harbour. Thankfully
Dennis WIngham took the lead, with his crash hat on, and pulled of a great back
flip over the Fiesta in the sea. My turn next, I had no crash hat, and my girls
were begging me not to do it but I peddle as hard as I could, up the ramp, up
into the air, pulled back and sure enough a back flip landing in the sea. The
crowd gave a great cheer and coming out of the water, on camera was asked how
old I was and had to think for a moment. I was 45 years old. The cried HeÕs the
King.
|
|
Jim Stevens Rodney Burnham Keith Cowern Jamie Knipe Colin Hunt Martin Hunt
Isaac Clarke, Dennis WIngham, Ronnie Johnston (Remo) DJ Jon Pratt, John
Hopkins, Richard Wells, Stephen Drain (Drainer), Anthony Pill (Pill) and
loads of the rest of the old Southsea skate park locals... Were all there
|
Go to www.davidolores.co.uk or http://www.youtube.comhttp://www.youtube.com to view
My Divorce August
1996
As far as I was concerned my former marriage
ended at the time my wife decided to divorce me and I accepted this because of
what I had done. However it took a long time to complete the legal process and
finalize the divorce, which took place on the 26th August 1996.
I
was working through my beliefs in respect to what the bible said about
wronging, divorce, remarriage and I knew from my knowledge of God that my sins
would have to be dealt for me in order for me to receive benefit and help from
God. I knew from the bible that this provision had already been made the Son of
God, Jesus Christ, dying for sins, the sins the world. It was in this provision
that I trusted and believed in God. I could have no relationship with God
whilst I was still in my sins and they had to be forgiven. I believed God for the forgiveness of
sins and the gift of righteousness. I had done what I thought I needed in to
put things right with my wife and family. Silver Girl and I had promised each
other to have a Christian marriage. We went through many struggles and
conflicts of conscience and sometimes I feared the worst would come upon us. I
endured many painful feelings and many struggles in conscience being accused in
conscience of many things and felt I had wronged my children, as they too had
gone through all kinds of hurt. All of which I regret having put them through
it all. I wanted to be at peace with and all those that I had involved.
Silver
Girl experienced much insecurity as she felt I would be returning to my wife at
any moment. She began to reason we had both used her in order to repair our
marriage and that I would return to my wife and then she would now suffer
loss. It was this insecurity that
made her fell the need to separate from me in order to avoid getting hurt. This
of course bread insecurity in me, as I could not bare the thought of her
leaving me.
Having
re-looked at marriage and what the bible has to say about it I came to believe
that my marriage to Silver Girl took place the moment we had exchanged or
promises to each other, which had taken place in September, 1996. I say this because there are no
instructions, or examples in the bible, as to how a marriage actually takes
place. So I concluded this must be culturally defined and not dictated by God.
I also learned that a legal marriage can be and may well be a very real help to
couples feeling insecure. I now
think that marriage, as is commonly known in our culture, is a reasonable
practice. I wanted to be legally married to my partner as soon as I was legally
divorced in August 1996, but this was delayed. However this was not to be and
would come later.
The place of our
marriage
Rebekah's
Field is the place where Silver Girl and I exchanged our promises of marriage.
A time and place, which was far more romantic than the Registry Office, and as
far as I was concerned was the time and place of our marriage. It was in
September 1996 and was beside the horse trough in Rebekah's Field, Stubbington.
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I was so delighted about the event that
I wrote a song about
the situation and this is called ÒRebekah's FieldÓ. This song was sung
at Oliver's Bar, in Gosport, when our band entered a Beat the Band competition
on 5th May in 2000 as I will relate later on.
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The
Horse Trough in Rebekah's Field
As I look back on this event I believe I must
have been on a manic high as I also sung my other song, ÒCan your RememberÓ,
at the same event.
I began to feel much happier at the prospect
of us living together as man and wife and we both wanted a simple and legal
ceremony, at the Fareham Registry Office.
How ever upon reflection I realize my mood was rising and I was high as
we were preparing for a simple wedding and I took Silver GirlÕs off the cuff
comment about having wedding reception in Asda quite literally and arranged it
with the management at Asda, in Fareham. I simply asked if we could have our wedding reception in their store and the
management were very obliging. Once the local news got hold of our plans they
were very interested in the story and before we knew it local and national
newspapers published the story. This was all too much for Silver Girl and she
pulled out of the wedding. However this didn't stop the story going to the
press. Here is the story:
FAREHAM / Pressure too much for bride-to-be (THE NEWS,
Friday, November 22, 1996)
Asda reception couple put their
wedding on ice
By TANYA JOHNSON
A
Fareham couple due to celebrate their marriage with a reception in a
supermarket have postponed their wedding.
David Clarke and Silver Girl were due to tie
the knot at Fareham Register Office this afternoon.
The ceremony was to be followed with a
reception in the self-service cafeteria at Asda in Fareham
More then 20 guests were expected for a £2.50
-a-head meal of roast chicken, lasagne and hot pot.
Yesterday Dave 47, contacted The News to say
that is was not going ahead. "I regret to say the pressure has been too
much", he said. "Silver Girl has called off the wedding.Ó
It is too much for her to cope with. I am very
upset.
Dave an engineering lecturer at Fareham
College did not elaborate on his girlfriend's reason for cancelling the
wedding.
Silver Girl who is expecting the couple's
first child is a psychiatric nurse.
Both were getting married for the second time.
Dave, of Hayling Close Fareham has four children from his first marriage, and
his new wife lives in Stubbington and has two children.
Yesterday Dave said: "We want a nice wedding
but without frills, which cost a lot of money. "But we hope the wedding
will go ahead at a later date.
Continuing in their unconventional style he
added: " I don't think my wife will be disappointed if I don't give her a
wedding ring but I'm not sure how she will react to the ball and chain that I
have made.
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DaveÕs Ball
and Chain
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He said he has not ruled out the possibility
of a honeymoon in a tent he lives in this summer in the garden of his home.
With my future so uncertain I decided to buy a
house of my own and had hoped it would become our marital home, if ever we
finally go it together. This proved to be a good move, as I needed a retreat whenever
Nurse Ratchet and I had a disagreement. Never the less I tried ever so hard to
work on our relationship.
We
had always planned to get legally married as soon as I was free. However until
that time I felt it a good thing to buy a house so that we could start our
married life in a new home. I was able to complete the purchase of number 11
Hayling Close in January 1997 and move in straight away. By this time we had arranged our legal
marriage at the Registry Office, which took place on 21st February
1997, with a reception at the Oast and Squire. On this occasion I had to
rearrange my teaching schedule that Friday afternoon for many of my students
attended and after this we had our honeymoon in Bournemouth.
I know I was definitely on a manic high on
that day as I took with me, in my chauffer driven car, a manikin dummy dressed,
in Silver GirlÕs cloths, this was just in case Silver Girl did not turn up so I
would then marry the dummy instead. I must have been on a high, I am sure I
was. After our honeymoon were returned to my wifeÕs home in Stubbington and
entered the next phase of our life together.
We never did move into our house at 11 Hayling
Close but rather made our family home in the house belonging to my wife. We
then lived together for the first time along with Silver Girls children.
I decided to build a workshop in the garage
and an extra room in the roof space of the garage, which we called The Den. It
had a purpose built stair way, leading from the garage, up to the room and a
small door leading through the wall into the boys bedroom, with a lock and key
for private access. I then fitted a velux window giving plenty of light to the
room. It was great and my wifeÕs son and his friends loved it, as they often
had sleepovers there.
I also made the garage my workshop were I
could repair the items I had bought from Harrods. It was a good workshop.
After my mothers death in 1996 my father lived
alone, in their home at Eastbourne, until 3rd March 1997, when he
died of the same problem as our mum, Pulmonary embolism and Deep vein
thrombosis of the leg. My brother Michael and I along with my sister were left
money in their will and I was then able to write and inform Michael, who was in
New Bilibid Prison of this. Although it was very sad for us all it was a real
help to Michael, as he could not go about clearing his name and getting
released from prison, in the Philippines. It is money that it needed,
particularly if you are a foreigner and in jail.
During this time I had been subjected to divorce from my first
wife, which involved a long legal battle regarding money. This was unusual because we had been
divorced in August 1996 and my father had died in May 1997. For some reason the
financial settlement had not take place at the time of our divorce and
subsequently settled in court, after my fathers death. Prior to this I had the
news of my brothers 16-year prison sentence in the Philippines in October 1996.
And it seamed as though one bad thing followed another. I also saw the
devastating effects of my marriage break up upon my children, which I could not
share with Silver Girl, as this would only serve to increase her
insecurity. I could see their needs
and knew that I had been responsible for the hurt that I had plunged them into.
I felt totally insecure and felt Silver Girl would leave me or tell me to go. The
Insecurity that we both felt was great and marriage do not bring the security I
needed and thought it would. It was a real problem and without speaking about
things too personal I had to seek God, more, and more, and more, as life went
on. I needed help from God because I was not managing or coping well at all
with my daily life. The stress that I found myself experiencing was unbearable
and I eventually sought personnel counselling from ÒOff the RecordÓ, at Fareham
College.
During
this time we spoke to Nurse RatchetÕs solicitor because she was anxious about
my former wife's financial legal claim on her assets. She was distressed saying
she did not want her getting her hands on her mothers money; money that had
been left her, when she was married to her previous husband, by her mother.
That money was used to increase the value of their home and she wanted her
children to benefit and not my former wife. We were led to believe she might
have some valid claim because we were now married and joint incomes were taken
into account in financial settlements.
She said she would do anything to stop her getting her hands on her
motherÕs money.
Taking
Silver GirlÕs words and meaning literally, I asked the solicitor a hypothetical
question saying, ÒHow would we stand if we were divorcedÓ? To which I was
informed of the impractical nature and legality of such a plan. This how ever
was the cause of our next series of arguments and Nurse Ratchet reported this
incident to one of the elders of our church saying that I had proposed a
divorce, leaving her devastated. Of course this was nonsense and there was no
way that I could reassure her otherwise. She maintained I was proposing a
divorce, causing her to feel so insecure with me.
I was a murderer
At one time she awoke in the early hours of
the morning with the notion that I was a murderer and had killed a prostitute
at Port Solent. She had concluded this because she had noticed, a few weeks
earlier, that my attention had been drawn to the headline news on the TV, about
the murder of a prostitute at Port Solent. She concluded that the reason why I
took notice of this news item was because I was the murderer. It was
crazy, I could not reason with her, even after explaining that the reason why
it took notice of the news was because the incident had taken place so near our
home. It was shocking. As a result of this crazy dream she wanted a divorce and
went to see the minister of the church at the Locks Heath to discuss divorce.
Another incident took place involving my
comment about the delectability of a spare rib. This argument was number 365. One
evening I was eating out with Silver Girl and her brother and his girl friend
at ÒChiquito'sÓ in Port Solent. During the meal I simple expressed my pleasure
and how tasty the spare rib was, stating that I felt it was intoxicating.
This phrase ÒIntoxicatingÓ generated a chilled silent mood in Nurse Ratchet,
which was felt by all and a dark cold cloud descend upon us all at the meal.
Not a word was spoken, for the rest of the meal, and Nurse RatchetÕs brother
asked, Òwas there a private issue going
on between us?Ó
I was not told about the reason of this
chilled silence until later on that evening. It was then I learned that Nurse
Ratchet had believed, understood and stated, that I was rubbing something in to
make her feel bad. I had no idea what she was talking about, however it turned
out that I had used this word, ÒintoxicatingÓ, a few months earlier during a
conversation with a friend of hers. On that occasion I was asked to express how
I felt about an experience I had with another woman some years ago. I simply
said that it was, ÒintoxicatingÓ. Nothing more was said.
Nurse Ratchet however picked up on this word
and stated that at the meal table in Chiquito's I was taunting her by saying
the spare rib was intoxicating. She insisted I was deliberately saying this
word to upset her and make her feel bad.
This of course was nonsense but there was no way that I could convince
her otherwise. Such a thing would not have entered my mind to do.
My wife gave birth to our lovely little girl
on the 8 June 1997, at Queen Mary's Hospital in Portsmouth. She had very dark
hair and blue eyes when she was born. And as she grew up I got her to help me.
Even to repair items that I had bought from Harrods.
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Rebekah helps her daddy
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Rebekah and her daddy
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Rebekah and her
daddy helping him in the workshop
at our house in Stubbington.
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My workshop was set up to repair the
many items I bought from Harrods and by this time Harrods had moved from Abshott to Segensworth. It was there that many of my students did there
shopping. In fact one of my students, Lenny
Butler, actually worked
at Harrods and he was a very intelligent student. We laughed at some of his
ideas about repairing electrical goods; for example instead of replacing a
fuse, in a piece of electrical goods, with the correct size and rating, he
would insert a nail or wrap silver paper around the broken one and more often
that not it would work. That was Lenny for you.
Our first Holiday away in France
This was a disaster as far as I was
concerned. Rebekah was a few months
old, Nurse Ratchet's had friends in France and we were able to stay there. We
took her son and his friend in a Mitsubishi Space Wagon that I had
renovated. I don't know what the
trouble was but Nurse Ratchet went into none of her cold chilled none
communicative moods and I notice she pick holes in all that I did.
How ever the insecurity we both found our new
marriage was real problem that we both felt and without speaking about things
personal I had to seek God more and more as life went on. I needed the help of
God because I was not managing or coping very well at all. The problems
involved the relationship between the children of our former marriages and my
new wife, the proverbial stepmother. After we had been arguing for several days
and as a result expressed my beliefs about the relationship between men and
women. I shared my concluding
observations with Nurse Ratchet saying I now believed that any relationship
between a man and woman could not work in harmony, without the help of God.
This observation of concluding belief of mine
sent my wife around the bend, and she was very upset with me. She wanted to
know what would I do if I ever turned away from God again and we were having
difficulties- would I remain married to her? She had totally missed the point
as to what I meant.
I had come to the conclusion that we both
needed to apply Christian principles in our marriage, to resolve the many
personal difficulties that we were facing, and the many personal arguments we were
involved in, so we could survive. In other words the scripture outlined general
rule and guidelines on how to relate to each other a way that enabled the Lion to lay down with the lamb, so to
speak, and the lamb not get devoured by the lion. Hence taking heed to the word of God was having God in ones life. I
felt we both needed such help.
Unfortunately she just could not see my argument and she felt threatened
by it. I could not assure her otherwise.
I believed that if we had both been resolved
to seek the Lord and be directed by His word in every thing then we would be
blessed with a God honouring marriage, in other words a harmonious loving,
happy family life. Any thing less
than this would be a failure and second best.
I questioned Nurse Ratchet as to why she was
upset but she would not explain this to me. She later wrote to me but lost the
reply and so she wrote again to explain her upset. Her reply is entitled
ÒMarriageÓ and included in this article.
I had stated to Nurse Ratchet that the bible
contained instructions as to how we should love each other and go about
resolving difficulties i.e. 1 Cor. 13 verses 1-13. I stated that all of these
God given, inclinations and abilities, to live at piece one with another, are
given to those seeking God. That we
should pray to the Lord to grant us supplies of these special abilities. That
we are called upon to exercise these gifts in our times of difficulty this is
the help of God without, which there will be no harmony.
I maintained, ÒGod has spoken to usÓ. I
maintained that unless we take heed to these directives and exercise these
graces such as patience, long suffering, forgiveness in our marriage, then the
relationship is doomed to failure. In our case we need GodÕs help and we should
not to ignore it.
Nurse Ratchet objected to this (she being a trained adult mental health
nurse) by saying there were many none Christian marriages that have good
relationships without God. So I was wrong! Again she missed the point.
I went on to explain that I believed that many
people exercise love; patience etc. with one another because they have learned
that is the best way forward. It is in fact the way, which God approves of and
directs. They have learned it from their past experience, traditional up
bringing, or what ever, but in the end they are only doing those things that
God has so freely spoken about in the scripture. That is why their marriages
work. You might say a pound spent
in Manchester and a pound spent in London was equally valid and it did not
matter if was spent by an atheist, Muslim or Christian. The pound spent was
good currency because it was the currency of the realm.
I stated since God has made man in his own
image he may use the natural gifts of love, patience, forgiveness and long
suffering, as these work, and so their that is why they have successful
marriages without realizing that they have been helped by God.
I was saying that we needed the help of God in
our relationship and marriage in order to survive. Just like these people. They
may be unbelievers and deny the existence of God but they posses and display
those natural gifts of wisdom, which God had given them. That was what we
needed. I believed however the we needed to learn directly for the bible and
exercise the directives given to us plainly in His Word because to that day our
marriage was not working. I
believed we were doomed to failure because we hadn't learnt these natural laws.
I felt this was the same with every thing connected to the Christian religion.
This is the same with every thing. In Churches who seek to go contrary to the
Word of God and promote thing opposed to the plain teaching of Scripture they
are doomed to failure. Just like appointing women elders or homosexual bishops.
I also mean that the moment the marriage
relationship ceases to reflect the image of Christ loving His Church and the
Churches submission to Christ it is a failure and not functioning as the
designed purpose of God. When this happens, as was happening to us we both
suffer loss. Distress of mind and soul and feel all the in-securities that it
exposes one too.
What I have said before about me not leaving
is true. I will never leave you. If you kick me out and insist I go; then that is different. But I would not leave
because I have promised you and I keep my word; that is the image of God in me.
What may happen to others depends upon their
own view and way of acting. I have promised never to leave you on any grounds,
misery, despair or any reason. What more can you require?
I would not leave you and go off with another
women, because of what we have together if our marriage fails. This is because
I believe a failing marriage can be restored if we follow Christ
.
I would like to know that this is your vowed
intent too i.e. not to leave or divorce me because of your promise or covenant
of marriage.
David Clarke 2nd
December 1997.
Do not let the sun go down on your wrath- in
other words sort out the problem with the other person before you sleep that
night.
Love one another-consider the other person
before you say or do anything.
Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the
church.
Wives reverence your husbands.
Children obey your parents in the Lord.
Etc.
This took place early 1998 and was due to
unresolved problems that were all due to Òthe baggageÓ we both had carried from
our former marriages.
We had had the problem of me being a murderer,
the spare rib, the hypothetical divorce and my first girl friend when I was
16. The problems were generally
relating to the children of our previous marriage, past relationships or our
misunderstandings, fears, miss trust. My fears were those of being deserted by
Silver Girl.
Our arguments generally produced a knee jerk reaction resulting in Nurse
Ratchet insisting I leave her, or me walking out in total frustration. It
wasn't long before I was compelled to leave by Nurse Ratchet and I returned to
live at number 11 Hayling Close.
At that time in April 1998, Nurse Ratchet wrote a letter to me stating
certain things that were hurtful, unnecessary and derogatory comments about my
eldest son Isaac. Isaac, unfortunately for him, discovered this letter, in my
kitchen at Hayling Close and read these things about him. He felt very angry with Nurse Ratchet
and he decided he did not wish to see her again. He then informed his brother
David. They both believed she was the cause of all their mothers hurt and the
family breakdown and their pain. They always maintained that Nurse Ratchet had
never express sorrow or given an apology to them, or their mother, for the hurt
she had been responsible for. This was the source of the animosity between all
my children and Nurse Ratchet and as a result it was not helpful and only led
to more resentfulness between my wife and children, in particular David.
Due
to my utter despair feeling down and unable to cope with the situation I was
in, I sought the help of the Hampshire, ÒOff the RecordÓ, counselling service,
offered at my college. This lasted for a whole two years of regular, once a
week sessions. I learned that I had become the victim in our relationship and I
was unable to express how I felt about a problem. I was able to say what I
thought about a situation but not how I felt.
I
learned also that I was not responsible for another persons feelings either. So
I began to practice saying how I felt about uneasy situations, rather then say
what I thought. This meant if I expressed how I felt about something no body
could argue or deny my feelings. If however I said what I thought about
something, then my thoughts could be argued about.
So
in an argument and some one were to retort to me some thing like this, Ò You
are an evil bastard and you make me feel sick,Ó It would not help if I were to
respond like this,Ó I think you are nasty piece of workÓ and you deserve what's
coming to you. This would not be a helpful way of response and would prolong an
argument.
Had
I said, ÓI fell hurt and angry when you call me an evil bastard and I hear what
you say about feeling sickÓ, However lets talk about the problem and see why
you are angryÓ then may be you will feel better and we could try and resolve
the matter.
I
then began to realised I was not responsible for feelings and she needed to
take responsibility for how she felt.
I could not make her feel anything. For instance if she were to say to
me, ÒYou make me feel sickÓ then she was really saying she felt sick which may
have been as a result of some thing I said, did or inferred, How she felt was
her problem and she was to take responsibility for her feelings, not me. I was
not to blame for how she felt. It may be that what I said or what I did
resulted in her feeling certain things, in which case the matter could be
looked at and any bad feelings could be examined and alleviated or redressed.
But I was not responsible for her feelings; she should take responsibility for
them her self.
I
learned about the trinity of roles in our harmful marriage relationship. The Persecutor,
the Victim and the Rescuer. The outstanding emotion in the
Persecutor was anger and was Nurse Ratchet. The outstanding emotion in the Victim
was hurt, rejection and loss. I felt I was the Victim in our
relationship. In the role of
Rescuer the outstanding emotion was sympathy and love. And so it could be seen
in my life that because of my experience of rejection and hurt I took on the
role of Rescue, seeking to help the homeless and disadvantaged and finally got
into trouble at Fareham college when I stepped in to ensure one of my students
passed their practical exams, after he had made a simple mistake. I will tell
you later.
It was at this time I felt the name Nurse
Ratchet was more appropriate to call my wife because of the way she needed to
control me, our marriage and my children.
We tried to resolve our problems but all to no
avail. Nurse Ratchet appeared to experience so much insecurity that it leads
her to believe unusual things about me.
This is just one series of incidents that I
numbered argument 368. I had
actually lost count of the number we actually had but it seemed we had one for
each day of the year. This was argument 368 the third one in the second year of
our marriage. In this dispute Nurse Ratchet was furious with me and kneed me in
the testicles and refused to go to church with me, that evening. She wanted to discuss something that she
was upsetting her, just as we were about to leave for the church. I had
arranged to take to church that evening Isaac my son, Luke Fuller, IsaacÕs
friend, Joe Neve, a drug dealer and addict, and Eleanor my daughter as this was
an evangelical meeting. She wanted
me to cancel what I was doing and insisted that I stay with her and sort out
the problem she had.
This argument was brewing. She was not
prepared to wait. I wanted to wait till a later time and if possible have a
friend present to discuss the matter, in a safe environment. I had good reason
to avoid this type of argument because of what I had experienced before. On a
previous occasion Silver Girl and I were with out, with our new daughter, on a
trip to Salisbury. Nurse Ratchet was upset over something that I had either
said or had done. She insisted that I had never got over a relationship with a
girl friend some 30 years ago (my first girlfriend, Susan Alwright, from
Aylesbury). On this occasion she got out of the car extremely upset carrying
our daughter in her arms and proceeded to walk home. Of course that was unsafe
for her and our daughter.
So I had reason to fear such talk would lead to
inappropriate action on Nurse Ratchet part. I also felt responsible for my
childrenÕs welfare and important to take my children and their friends to hear
the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ.
I had the opportunity that I rarely had and they were prepared to come
to the church that night. I had been helped at the church and to tell all my
family of what the Lord had done for me.
Nurse Ratchet felt otherwise and rather than be dictated too by my wife I
refused to obey her voice and do what I believed was the right thing to do.
On this occasion she kneed me in the testicles
and wanted me to leave Stubbington, and live elsewhere, and me to leave our
home in otherwise she would find somewhere else to live and take Rebekah and
her children with her.
This also lead to Nurse Ratchet's daughter
ordering me out of the house and because I ignored her she left instead of me
and told her in-laws to be that she had been kicked out.
All such arguments were very unpleasant and
hurtful occasions. All of them brought on by an argument of similar nature and
complexity as the one I felt was being prepared for me at that moment. It was
Nurse Ratchet's determination and insistence that we talk about the issue right
without considering me that I felt was an abuse. I felt abused. It was my intention
to steer away from such disastrous discussions unless we had some Christian
help at hand so we could avoid further hurt and needless pain.
The argument we were having often involved my
children from my first marriage. On one particular evening an argument was
looming and at the prayer meeting that night, at the Warsash church, I
requested prayer and support. It
was suggested to me I try another way.
Rather than respond and argue over matters simply say " I love
you" and to repeat it every time she wanted to argue. I was to say no
more. I took this on board and agreed to give it a try. I returned home and as
the contention began in the bedroom. I simply said, "I love you" and
repeated this without saying any more. My wife was convinced I had gone mad and
wanted me to say more. She then called her daughter in from her bedroom to
witness my response. I simply repeated, "I love you".
My wife was furious and her daughter said to
her mum, ÒIf I were you I would hit himÓ, I began to have real fear that a more
serious argument might occur and then some form of violence would take place
and I wanted to leave the house until she had calmed down. So as she left the
room I quickly took my clothes and slipped out of the bedroom, into the little
room, that I had made above the garage and locked the door behind me. I heard a
commotion at the other side of the door, between my wife and her daughter, as
they were wondering where I had gone. So I just lay down on the floor and kept
very quiet. I just wanted to be left alone. I was hoping things would calm down
and the heat would go away but my wife did not give up. Eventually she made a
search for me by going into the garage and climbed up the staircase that I had
made in the garage, to the roof space where I was. She found me lying down with
my eyes shut, as though I was sound asleep. She opened the door to the inside
of the house and called her daughter to say she had found me and pointed out
that I looked unconscious.
I
dare not open my eyes
I felt I did not wish to show I was awake in
case she was more furious with me so I kept quiet. My wife felt by body and I
was cold so she switched on an electric fire and place it near my legs to warm
me up but it was so hot I began to burn. How ever but had to keep still and
feel the pain. I still kept quiet. I then heard my wife' s daughter say how
selfish I was, thinking I had attempted suicide, and was not thinking of my
daughter. I then heard Nurse Ratchet call my former wife on the phone asking
had I done any thing like this before. She then called the doctor, it was late
at night and things were getting worse for me. I dare not wake as trouble was
now really brewing for me. I just lay there until the doctor came. When he
arrived I simply open my eyes and said I was fine and that we had had an
argument and I just needed to be left alone. The doctor was fine and left the
room and he informed my wife to just leave me alone and that I would be fine.
Suicidal
thoughts
Soon after this time I informed the members of
our prayer group that I had experienced suicidal thoughts, all relating to the
troubles in our marriage and the fear of my wife leaving me. It was at that
time one of the Elders prayed with and for me after, which then I began to get
better, ÒThe black dogs of depressionÓ, left me for a while.
I had learned to respect medical opinion and it was now my opinion
to maintain my stability by continuing with my medication, which is the
prescribe treatment for manic depression or bi-polar moods swings. It was a bit
like Oliver Cromwell's advise to his army, when they were going into battle he
said, Ò Trust in God and keep your
powder dryÓ. And so with me call
upon the Lord and keep on with the lithium. The ups and downs of our new
relationship brought with it the highs and lows of emotion. Van Gough once said
that emotions were the captains of our lives. I was certainly driven by
powerful emotions at this time. I was responsible, during all this time to
have my blood levels checked and to take my medication. This I did as regular
as clockwork and kept in touch with Dr Walmsely, even when I was signed off as
needing care. This was because I was aware of my reality and fear of depression.
Nurse
Ratchet is jealous of my song
After this meeting I felt the desire to
compose a song in praise to God, for the help I had received, and I wrote the
following entitled, ÒSpirit of the Lord Come downÓ and was able to sing it at the Warsash church. This desire was
an expression thanks for the support I had received from God during my recent
awful times. However when Nurse Ratchet heard my song she expressed she was jealous,
as it was not about her. I found this response incredible and it portrayed to
me she had deep-seated insecurities.
Realising this was the case and wishing to assure her she had no need to
be jealous, I re-wrote the words for her benefit. This new song was called, "Can your remember".
Unfortunately I was never able to
sing this version of the song as we separated in November 1998, but that did
not stop my plan to sing this love song to her the next year. Not only
did I re write the song but also I practised it many times and sung at various
venues after we separated. Finally I decided it should be recorded and be release
as a single. Both of these songs can be heard on our web site: http://www.davidolores.co.uk. Or
www.Youtube.com
search for davidolores.
Joining the
Warsash Church
At this time sometime in October 1998, a few
weeks before our second and final separation, we had attending the Warsash
Church for some time and Nurse Ratchet, without notice, began to attend the
church in Titchfield, on her own, without informing me of the reason, so
continued to attend the Warsash church. It was then that I was asked, by one of
the elders, to become a church member. This however was one of the last things
on my mind, so I said I would consider it.
The resentment, between Nurse Ratchet and my
children, led to our second and final separation. This took place on the 4th
November 1998 when I left and retreated to 11 Hayling Close, dreading the
future, as I felt so low in my mood.
Nurse Ratchet had repeatedly stated she wanted
me to leave and if I wouldn't go she would get her ex husband to come and
remove my things. I finally
realized I would have to go and so I made all the necessary preparations, regarding
finance and securing my personal things. I left the morning of that day, as I
knew once I had gone I would have no cooperation from Nurse Ratchet to resolve
anything.
On a previous occasion I had given Nurse
Ratchet £4,000, this soon after my fathers death but she said she did not want
it but would look after it for me until I needed it. So I opened an ISA account in her name
and deposited the money. It was during the weeks before I left on the 4th
November, that I realised I would have difficulties getting the money from her,
never the less I had asked her for the money. She refused and would not give it
to me. And still continually told me to leave. So I wrote to the ISA bank, in
her name, informing them of our change of address i.e. to 11 Hayling Close and
the following week I wrote to the company to close the account asking for the
£4000 signing the letter in her name. I was thankful it was successful and I
receive the cheque for £4000 plus interest. Never the less it was this action
of mine that sent her around the bend with anger and was the reason for her
saying I was a hypocrite.
It was with great sadness that I learned, to
my dismay, that Nurse Ratchet had purposely been very difficult and awkward
with me, those weeks before hand, in order to drive me out and away from our
home. I learned this after reading her secret diary written in October 98. The
entry reads,
"The more horrible you are to
someone the more Dave is drawn to them-- he always sides with the ones being
got at. So IÕll be even more
horrible and he may go to his darlings. His loyalty to me is
disgusting."
I realise this now that this accounted
for her unacceptable behaviour towards my children and my subsequent desire to
protect them from it was but a natural instinct and a Christian principle that
I followed.
She continued to write, ÒI'm sick of
hearing their names. I wish he'd just live with them at wonderful number 11Ó.
On Thursday 15th October, 1998 she
wrote, "I'm am full of rage and feel sick and in knots. I hate all of
them" --They have evil in them--they needed to be away from others.
Nurse Ratchet, the psychiatric nurse,
had made up her mind about my children as can be seen by what she wrote and
referred to them as the ÒKLU CLARKE
CLAN.Ó
The Clu Clarke Clan
I knew there was a problem and had previously
suggested we get help from the Family Mediation Service, because I knew things
between us all we so caustic. Unfortunately Nurse Ratchet felt differently. She
was offended that I should suggest such a thing to her as she was a trained
Adult mental health nurse and so did not need any help in mediation. On the 26/10/98, her diary entry wrote, ÒI
want to kill him.Ó
It
was the following week that Nurse Ratchet stated to me that Eleanor and Esther
were no longer Rebekah's sisters but another girl Gillian was, who baby-sat for
her. At the same said she wanted Rebekah to have another father.
I discovered these things written in
Nurse Ratchet's secret diary when I returned to our home, the week after I
left, whilst she was at work.
I left and took all my things on the 4th
November 1998.
During the weeks leading to my escape the
thought of joining the church at Warsash was one of the last things on my
mind. Things at home were so
difficult I could scarcely think of any other thing wishing to solve the
problems in the marriage. However I wanted to be more involved in the church
and I felt so rejected by Nurse Ratchet, it felt as though God was saying.
" If your wife rejects you, I will receive you". With this feeling and reason I agreed to
join the church and felt wanted.
Nurse Ratchet was later informed, by one of
the elders, after we had separated in November, saying that I was about to
become a member of the church. I learned she felt angry about it. She did not
like it and was very upset for some unknown reason. She did not feel I should
be allowed to join the church on the grounds of all the allegations she had
written about to the Family Mediation Service. See letter dated 8/12/98. She wanted an
explanation from the elders how they could admit me to be a member. She felt I
was a hypocrite and that I joining the church felt like I had another woman.
Nurse Ratchet told one of the elders of the church how she felt about me
joining the church in front of his daughter Gillian, who later related this to
my youngest son David. In response to this he felt very angry with Nurse
Ratchet and he informed me that she had been saying bad things about me and
that I had another woman. He felt that these evil things were the cause of her
son being upset and awkward with him.
When David informed me what Nurse Ratchet had
been saying about me I decided I would have to ask Nurse Ratchet and her son
about it the next time I saw her. When I spoke to the Nurse about it I
discovered this was not true and that all she had said was that it felt like I
had another woman when she learned I was to join the church.
Nurse Ratchet then demanded David make her and
her son an apology, face to face, and she wanted me not to see him again until
he apologize to her and her son for repeating these things. I saw David and
told him I wanted him to apologies to Nurse Ratchet he said he could not face
the agony of seeing Nurse Ratchet face to face and agreed to send a letter of
apology
Nurse Ratchet
upset with the church
The nurse was angry at the church for
considering making me a member as she felt I was not worthy. She wanted to ask the Elders all about
it, however she said she could not face going to see them. I received a letter from the Nurse
stating that she did not want me to join the church and that if I did she would
take it that I did not want reconciliation. She said it showed to her that I
wanted a permanent separation. I felt so frustrated as this was not true and I
felt this was black mail that I was not prepared to give in to this form of control.
At that time I asked the Nurse for my unpublished book, written about my time
at the Bierton Strict and Particular Baptist church but She refused to give it
back to me and I felt very much alone. I later published this book in 2003 and
it is called the, ÒThe Bierton CrisisÓ.
The Elders felt she was wrong and it would do
no good to speak to her.
I
decide to join the church
Having decided not to give into this blackmail
I wrote the following letter to Nurse Ratchet on 10/12/98
Dear SG
I have spoken at the meeting tonight
explaining your request to speak to the elders at the church and who ever,
about their decision to accept me as a member of the church.
I explained how you felt very upset and angry
since I had done awful things to you (what ever they were). I mentioned in
particular your forged name explaining of course I knew you were angry about
and that I had said other things to you, which may of hurt you in our
arguments. I also informed them that
I had apologized to you and asked you if I could put any matter right.
I explained you felt me joining the church was
like me having another woman that they were not helping us get back together
but doing the opposite.
I explained to them what Elder RB had said and
his advise to you about Warsash and also what your minister had said about
Warsash church, stating they were wrong etc. That both RB and the minister were
in agreement with you, I should not be allowed to join the church because of
what I had done.
I did the best I could but they felt you were
wrong. They said you were welcome at Warsash Church any time and they love you.
Will said you had been invited to be a member but you did not respond. He said
he had often asked you to see him to help with the kids and me but you would
not.
John and Sue C were there and Sue seemed to
understand you and I am sure she would help if you went to see her.
I had hoped they would have offered to sit
with you at a meeting with who ever you wanted to be there, in order to answer
your questions, but they did not feel it would help at all. They assured me you
are very welcome at Warsash church and that Brian had been in contact with you.
I explained how you said if I join you will
take it I want separation. They encouraged me to continue seeking the lord and
honour Him. All of which I said I would be doing anyway. Since writing to you
about the Derek situation I now realize Abraham would have never offered up
Isaac as a sacrifice if he had allowed his wife to stop him from obeying God.
We do not know if Abraham told Sarah about his intention to offer up Isaac in
sacrifice but we do know in other things she obeyed Abraham and was a help to
him and not an obstacle. You know I believe God and He has given you to me. It
is right and fitting for me to obey God and you me.
I have to admit I now find your warning threat
hurtful and I take it very
seriously. That is warning about me joining the Warsash Church. I have explained to you that my wishing
to join the church did not mean I wanted separation from you at all but I
simple wanted to follow Jesus, in every way I could. I have never wanted
separation from you; it has been you all along wishing separation - not me.
In fact it would be my hearts desire we both
be members at Warsash. So why not think about it. Why have you left Warsash
anyway? I will step aside for a while if you want to go.
I now realize if you are telling me you will
still take it I want a separation if I join the Warsash Church, in spite of me
telling you otherwise, and then you are threatening me. I take it you will
forsake me if I join the Warsash Church.
I take it you are threatening me for being a
Christian. I believe my Jesus whom I depend on will never forsake me and has
spoken to me from His word about this very situation and this is what he
says:
Matthew
19 verse 29 Every one that
hath forsaken houses, or brethren or sisters or father or mother or wife or
children or lands for my name's sake shall receive an hundred fold and shall
inherit everlasting life.
I love you more than you have ever felt or
known and I believe you were given me by God as my hearts desire. I am sorry for all the wrong and hurt I
have caused you please forgive me.
You now tell me you will want permanent
separation if I follow Jesus in the way he wants me to go. I want to follow
Jesus. You have told me I stand to loose you if I follow Him.
You have already said I cannot take Rebekah if
I join the Church on Sunday, even though I really want you and her with me. I
am sorry this is your attitude and intention but I now know what I must do.
If the Lord will I will be joining the
Church at Warsash on Sunday 13th December 1998. I assume you
will stick to your word but please ring me and say I can take her. I will talk
with your minister friend, R B, D.C. and V F, any one if you think I need help
or if you want me too. I am free Friday and Saturday.
I love you, please do not forsake me. We have
a lot to look forward too in the Lord.
Love David.
After careful consideration I decide not to
join the church thinking this would help so I explained my situation to B T and
his wife and B and I and they said they would speak with us both and help. I wrote the following to Silver Girl.
Dear Silver Girl, 20/12/98
I realize you may not be aware but I did not
joint the church at Warsash last Sunday. I was hoping my decision not to join
would help our reconciliation as you expressed you were not happy about it. I
also took the liberty to ask B and I and B T and his wife to help us by talking
through things with us. They all said they would be pleased to help.
I have a Christmas present for Rebekah and
would really like it to be to her from us both - how do you feel about that? Is
there any way I could see you for a short while during Christmas as I miss you
so very much (If you haven't given
up on us).
Yours in love
David.
Summery
I
would encourage my readers, who are considering marriage, and wish to know what
the bible says about men and women relationships, to read and understand my article on Christian marriage.
My times and
difficulties in dealing with my wife was enough to put me on guard against the
rise of women in our present age. Can you imagine how I felt when the following
episode took place at the Warsash Church?
It was the
beginning of the New Year; January of 1999, after some of the elders and
members of the church had left to form a new group meeting, at the Hilton Hotel
in Farlington. It was then announced that the elders of Warsash Church were
asking for nominations to elect further elders and that these positions were
open for women to apply. This took me by surprise. I understood the church was wishing to
follow the New Testament pattern of church order and practice. After all they
since called themselves the ÒJesus is
LordÓ church and from my understanding this was going against His
principles.
I recalled that
they had asked me to join the church recently because they wanted to increase
the membership and make a stand in the United Reformed denomination against two
issue causing dispute at that time. The two issues were the appointing of
homosexuals to leadership and the appointment of women elders.
When I raised my concern
with the elders I was met with opposition and despite my documented evidence,
pointing out scriptural reasons, showing their error I was finally told to
remain silent whilst I continued going to the church. This was my cue to leave
the church as conscience dictated a better path to take. It was then I wrote
about this matter in my book entitled, ÒMary, Mary Quite ContraryÓ, which
is my response and opinion regarding the matter of women being elected to the
position of elders in a church. The essence of the matter from a Christian
point of view is this:
1 Since
the fall of Adam God curses them both along with the serpent and the ground.
Adam would suffer hardship, that thorns and thistles would grow, and so earn he
would have to earn living by the sweat of his brow until the day he dies. To
the woman he said that she would be in great pain in childbirth and her natural
desire would be to rule her husband but he would rule over her.
2 In
Christian marriage the man is the head of his wife, in the way that Christ is
the head of his church. As the church is to be subject to Christ so the woman
is to be subject to her husband.
3 This
order has to do with the fall of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden and since
God placed this curse on His creation after the fall, then that order remains
to this day.
4 We
should follow the order, set by Christ, for all relationships between men,
wife, children etc. and not think we know better.
This order of
relationships still continues to this present day, as demonstrated by the fact
that the curse, placed by God on his creation, still remains. Therefore so
should the order between men, women, children, church and elders remain in the
church?
Needless
to say I left the church and began meeting with our new group at the Hilton
hotel in Farlington.
Since our separation, in November 1998, I had
serious problems in seeing our 18-month-old daughter as the nurse prevented my
every move. Nurse Ratchet would not allow our daughter to see her brothers and
sisters, the children of my first marriage. And it was David in particular she
would not speak too, all because she had expressed how she felt to those at the
Warsash church, when she heard I was to join the church.
In trying to resolve this matter I helped my
son to write a letter of apology to the nurse so to resolve those outstanding
issues.
Dear, 23/02/99
It
has been a long time since I have seen my dad, as he was angry with me
for sayings things about you and S. I have written to him to apologies.
He said I have to see you face to face. I am sorry I find that too difficult. Please
accept my written apology.
I was hurt because I thought you had been
saying things about my dad and it hurt me. I was trying to protect my Dad and
it seemed as though you were trying to stop me from seeing him.
I am sorry I got it wrong and said those things I know
it upset my dad and you.
Yours sincerely
DC Junior
Nurse
Ratchet will not come and speak to my youngest son
After I had given this letter to the nurse I
wrote to her inviting her to speak to David about the situation, with a view to
resolve this outstanding issue and she wrote the following letter back to me:
Dear David 22nd
July 1999
Thank you for your letter.
No, I do not have a need to see your son thank
you. I feel so much better since not having to see them all! (Not E)
As I have said before if it had been my son
spreading vicious rumours and lies around about his dadÕs new wife then his dad
would have got him by the scruff of the neck and marched him around to them to
apologize. That is what I think is correct discipline.
You will never do any differently than
wrapping David up in "cotton wool" and treating him as a baby so that
is that. Your promise of not seeing
David until he apologized to me was empty and he knows just how to get to
you. Suicide, threats, etc.
So a man leading him in the correct way should
have sorted out the grievance. (He wouldn't last 5 minutes with me!) You and I
have different ideas about discipline. He should be brought to me, not the
other way around. I find him spoilt, manipulative, nasty and spiteful and that
needs correcting.
I have never wanted to speak to David but you
should have made him apologize. I realize now you are not able to act like that
now. I think how ever it very cunning and devious of you to make me believe David
had not read my letter. You wrote to me saying you would try and persuade him
but never informed me he had. I see more and more why he is as he is. YouÕre
modelling!
I have no need to speak to you about any thing
now and agree with you I don't want us arguing. Let's look to the future the
past is dead and gone. Time to move on. I will only react if I think David is
seeing our daughter otherwise I wish you luck with him!
It was lovely that S rang today away on
holiday wanting to talk to her as he is missing her! That's what I call love.
I hope all goes well for you on Sunday night,
Take care
Yours in love
N. Ratchet
PS. If you have needs to talk about your
children I have offered before to talk to Peter Jacob or any one you like if
you want. I don't have a need myself. I am happy as it is.
P.P.S. Am I allowed my TV back you gave me for
Xmas and do you have a matters for B___'s bed?
This is the response of nurse Ratchet and
demonstrates that she did not follow the Christian method of resolving
offences. The fact that she thought it was my responsibility to Òdrag DavidÓ
around to see her and then make him apologise goes directly opposite to the
bible's instruction. The bible says if any one is offended then they should go
to the person who offended them and sort the matter out with them. Not the
other way round. Mat 18:15-17 "Moreover if your brother sins against you,
go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have
gained your brother.Ó At the same time remembering that,
as the Lord has forgiven us, then we too should be ready to forgive those who
have offended us. Just as the Lords prayer gives example- ÒForgive us our
trespasses even as we forgive those who trespass against usÓ.
From a natural point of view she was a woman
of 40 years old professing to be a Christian. David was only 15 years old who
had no profession of Christian faith and had suffered the lost of his father
through her adultery. He had very reasonable reasons to feel angry. It was the
Ratchet who spoke about her feelings, in front of Gillian, who baby-sat for our
daughter. She was another 15-year-old child. The nurse should not have been
speaking about those things in the hearing of a 15-year-old child, as it was
Gillian who repeated the matter to David giving rise to the fault.
The scriptures are very clear and they are our
instructions and we should follow their instruction about other relationships,
including marriage. If we fail to take heed to scripture exhortations we should
not be surprised when things turn out wrong or fail. This was the argument that
sent Nurse Ratchet around the bend when I state that without God in our lives
our marriage would fail.
When I received Nurse Ratchet's reply I
groaned silently and I was reminded of the story, which Jesus told regarding
the unforgiving servant: Remembering this we had trusted god to forgive our sin
of adultery and accepted that forgiveness and as a consequence we were bound,
by the law of love and gratitude to forgive those who trespass against us.
Matt
18:23-35 Therefore the
Kingdom of Heaven is like a certain king, who wanted to reconcile accounts with
his servants. When he had begun to reconcile, one was brought to him who
owed him ten thousand talents. But because he couldnÕt pay, his lord
commanded him to be sold, with his wife, his children, and all that he had, and
payment to be made. The servant therefore fell down and kneeled before
him, saying, ÔLord, have patience with me, and I will repay you all!Õ The
lord of that servant, being moved with compassion, released him, and forgave
him the debt.
|
|
"But that
servant went out, and found one of his fellow servants, who owed him one
hundred denarii, and he grabbed him, and took him by the throat, saying, ÔPay
me what you owe!Õ "So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and
begged him, saying, ÔHave patience with me, and I will repay you!Õ He
would not, but went and cast him into prison, until he should pay back that
which was due. So when his fellow servants saw what was done, they were
exceedingly sorry, and came and told to their lord all that was done.
|
Then his lord called him in, and said to him,
Ôyou wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt, because you begged me.
ShouldnÕt you also have had mercy on your fellow servant, even as I had mercy
on you?Õ His lord was angry, and delivered him to the tormentors, until he should pay all
that was due to him. So my heavenly Father will also do to you, if you
donÕt each forgive your brother from your hearts for his misdeeds."
I am not sure if the tormentors came but I
believed God would do it.
Whilst
going through all these difficulties and emotional trials I am sure, as I look
back, that I subconsciously created manic highs in order to avoid depression.
This is my theory. Any way I did my utmost to be good at my job and also find another
outlet to express my emotions.
In
my endeavours to do my best for all my students I got my self into trouble at
Fareham College, towards the end of the summer term. At that time of the year
we held a practical examination, for the Electronic Servicing 224 course and I
along with an external assessor, from Portsmouth College, was responsible to
conduct the practical tests for the RTEEB Examining Board and to mark their
work and ensure there was no cheating. It was a recognised national standard
test.
On this occasion one of my better students,
who had paid for his own course fees, made a simple error in the test he was
conducting. I noticed his mistake and realised that this could result in a
failure. So I altered his script to read correctly. Unfortunately the external
examiner noticed the change and alerted the senior management of the College. I
justified this action, to myself, because I was the best person and only person
to judge if this student was capable to do such practical work. He had proved
himself to me over the two years I had taught him and I knew him to be good. He
just simply made a mistake. Fortunately the student was unaffected as he has
sufficient marks to pass regardless of my alteration but the matter was brought
to a disciplinary hearing and I could have been dismissed. In mitigation I had
several personal testimonials, from former students, speaking on my behalf
regarding my previous good conduct and beneficial help they had all received,
which resulted in me getting written warning for one year. One former student
was Mike Fisher from Gosport and Michael Evans from Petersfield.
Steven Murray
During this time in May 1999, I had a mother
call to my home, asking if I would provide accommodation for her stepson Steven
Murray, who was 20 years old. He looked very much like my own son Isaac. I was
reluctant to take him in as he was without work at that time and the only means
of paying any form of rent was to apply for Housing Benefit. He assured me that
he would find work very quickly so I gave him a chance and took him in.
I also felt I could help him and shared with
him my past life and my Christian beliefs. I knew nothing of his past
background although I sensed it had been difficult. I encouraged him to come to
church with me and gave him s draft copy of my book Converted on LSD Trip.
I encouraged him to attend Fareham College and
enrolled him on an electronics course, as he was very knowledgeable. I also
encourage him to repair items that we had bought from Harrods and re-sell them
to earn pocket money and he was very successful.
I took Steve to church with me and he showed a
keen interest in Christianity and got involve with the church, helping out with
the PA system. He soon expressed faith and need of God and was baptised in the
Sea at Lee-on-the-Solent.
I was delighted as this was what I expected
from any one who believed the gospel of Jesus Christ. This was just as it
happened to me over 30 years ago.
The News Thursday,
June 24, 1999
LEE-ON-THE-SOLENT / Former drug user and thief tells of his new
Christian outlook
Baptism at
sea marks start of my new life
|
By Lorna
Vicars
A reformed Fareham drug user and thief was baptised
in the sea to mark the start of a new life. For years Steve Murray, 21, took
drugs, stole cars and burgled houses- but when he became a Christian his life
changed. Steve of Hayling Close took the plunge, at the slipway at the
Lee-0n-the Solent Sailing Club. About 30 friends and relatives watched as an
elder, from the Church Steve attends, carried out the baptism. Steve left
school six years ago at 15 and became qualified in painting and decorating
and carpentry. He spent the next four years when he was not working smoking
cannabis and taking ecstasy and amphetamine drugs. He said, ÒI was getting
into trouble with the police – thieving cars and motorbikesÓ. ÒWhen I
was not working I was rebelling. I did not know why I carried on doing it. I
felt comfortable doing it in a way
|
 Steve Murray, right, is baptised in the
sea by Rev Peter Jacobs of the Christian Gospel Church
|
I used to hang about with people who wanted
bits fro their houses and it started of with me shop-lifting and petty things.
Then people needed cars, and I went on doing it myself because I wanted the
stuff.
ÒI
wanted to change but I felt there was no way outÓ.
Steve remembered the first time he prayed two
years ago when he was told his then girlfriend Tyrone Finlayson might die
giving birth to their daughter Rhiannon.
He said, ÒI was surprised to find myself
praying and they both made it throughÓ.
ÒIt has gone from thereÓ.
Steve became a Christian and has been going to
the Christian Gospel Church, which meets in the Hilton National Portsmouth
hotel, in Farlington.
He chose to be baptised in the sea following
the example of John the Baptist in the bible.
After months of being unemployed Steve is now
working as a Bar Steward at the Forte Post House Hotel in Titchfield.
He said,Ó It is not like my life has stopped.
I still go out and drink and have a good laugh – I just go to church
every SundayÓ.
ÒIt is like an emptiness has been filled and
it gives me something to aim for and I have got someone there. I pray and hope
every thing to be all right.
ÒI see a happy futureÓ.
The very next week he got a job as a barman at
the Post House Forte, Segensworth and shortly after that he was able to see his
own daughter for the first time in months. I gave him my wedding suit as a
baptism gift as he needed a suit of cloths.
I took no notice of those people who began to
give me evil reports of his past behaviour believing he was a new man in
Christ. Unfortunately I became concerned at his continued heavy drinking and
gambling and also his miss treatment of girls. I prayed for him and so did our
church. I had another young lodger and they both generated a lot of loud noise
from their music and the neighbours complained. Later my daughterÕs bicycle was
stolen and I had to sort things out so I gave my other lodger, called Dan, notice
to leave. He soon complained to me that I had given Steve special treatment
over him and he felt this was because he had been baptised.
It was soon after this, whilst Steve was
helping at the church one Sunday morning, that the collection money (£400) was
taken, and shortly after this my motorbike, that I had just purchased, was
stolen. It was a 250 cc Honda Super Dream. It was returned however with damaged
front forks, a broken lock and missing wing mirrors. It was strange that Steve
had asked to ride it the day before and assured me he had a full drivers
license to drive it. Steve, Dan and SteveÕs friend, denied any knowledge of the
bikes disappearance and it return.
Steve
Murray and Dan Bullimoore. They say they did not take my Motorbike
I then got a call from SteveÕs boss, at the
Post House, to say he had not been to work and he now no longer had a job. It
was after Steve told me he was going back on housing benefit, as he was not
working sufficient hours, that I gave him notice to leave because he was now
lying to me.
I received a call on the 27th July
1999, from the cheque-cashing bureau in Fareham, regarding a cheque, apparently
issued to Steve Murray, which was not honoured, for £220, so I was advised to
go to the police. When reporting this to the police it turned out that Dan also
had drawn £100 from my account along with a further Nationwide withdrawal of
£380.
Even after this when Steve and Dan had gone I
had things stolen from my house. What really got me upset was when my Fender Strata
1983, American Stratocaster, was stolen form my house along with my 8 track
digital recorder. The police recovered the Guitar from Steve Murray. When I
reported the story to the local News it was reported in the Paper. The only
real problem resulting from this was the fact that the senior man at our church
had a go at me and was not very happy. He seemed very
concerned about the name of the church but showed no concern for the fact that
Steve Murray had robbed me and taken advantage of me seeking to help him. I
felt that since the scripture mentioned the good and bad events such as the bad
conduct of Judas, then I felt it quite Ok for the world to know Steve MurrayÕs
conduct.
Elly had a Go Kart accident and nearly losses
her ear
During
this time I tried to manage as best as I could and took Elly and her friends
out for a ride on our Go Kart. Steve Murray had told me had had repaired the
breaks and the Kart was now in good order. The trouble was the breaks failed
and Elly drove a full speed down Tanners Lane but could not stop and she went
straight into the ditch,
The News, Tuesday, May 25 1999
By
Neil Durham
The
News
Elly and the Go
Kart
Rock music a cure
or cause of manic highs and lows
I found that making music helped relieve my
stress and fears and so I decided to record and release the song that I had
written for Nurse Ratchet. I had practised this song, on my guitar, and sang it
at home for weeks. And then one night, when listening to a group called ÒThe ShackÓ at Murphy's Bar, in
Southampton. I asked if I could play and my song at there gig informing them
that I was Dave Clarke from the 60's. The song went down very well and as a
result it was agree I should perform again at the Wyvern at Lee-On-The Solent.
Here is the news article about the event.
The News MUSIC / Lecturer plans to release
self-penned single (19th December 1999)
ElectronicsÕ teacher is sparking
interest in pop
By
Richard Hargreaves
The News
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 Dave at the Wyvern
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He
almost shares the same name as a 1960's pop legend and Fareham College
Lecturer hopes to follow him in to the charts.
By day the 50-year old
teaches electronics but hopes that will take a back seat in 2000 as he
prepares to his release single.
When the song came into
his head, the guitarist decided it was too good to be forgotten about and
felt it just had to be recorded.
Dave, of Hayling Close,
turned a pub into a recording studio as he set down the disc ÒCan You
RememberÓ, a song he believes is a sure fire hit.
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After toying with the idea of sending the song
to Paul McCartney he decided to record it himself with four friends and
students from Fareham College as a 1999 Dave Clarke Five.
The Wyvern pub, at Lee-on-the-Solent, provided
the setting and its regulars the audience, as Can You Remember was captured for
the first time with Local Duo The Shack.
"I believe it is a good song and worth
recording" said Dave. "I wrote the song for my wife." Every body
I know and have been playing it too thinks itÕs really good. It has gone down
really well.
Dave of Hayling Close, Fareham, following The
Shack around for the past couple of months, bringing an entourage with him and
some times joining the band.
And his name has lead to a few people thinking
he is the real Dave Clark, whose band the Dave Clark Five had hits more than 30
years ago with songs such as Bits and Pieces and Catch Us If You Can.
"Because it has been so long since his
band was around you can get away with it", Dave added.
The true 1960's pop star doesnÕt have an e on
the end of his surname- and according to The Shack probably is a bit more
tuneful.
But they were impressed by the lecturerÕs
charismatic stage performance whipping up the crowd.
For the lead singer Ian Hamilton Friday's
recording was his first live performance of the song he, Dave and friends have
practiced for weeks. "It is a very catchy song and I like to think it will
be successful. Recording it is a bit of a step. Dave is always going on about
Dave Clark,Ó he added.
To keep up the pop star image, Dave arrived at
the Common Barn Lane Pub for last nightÕs event, in a limousine (Post script-
It was a Hurst) accompanied by screaming groupies- who was students from
Fareham College
Dave now hopes to tweak the master copy of the
recording into something, which could be released shortly as a single, although
he says the song is a one-off and not a career move.
I later sang this song in a beat the band
completion at OliverÕs Bar in Gosport and the Contented Pig in Portsmouth and
finally entered the song into X factor. One day I am sure it will be a hit.
After this event I took Ely and her friends
home. I was dressed in my Petty Officers Naval uniform. When we reached Stubbington Ely was
feeling ill and wanted me tom stop and so we did only to attract the attention
a police car. Sure enough I was questioned and breathalysed and as a result
taken to Police station in the police vehicle in order to be checked out. When
I arrived at Fareham Police Station there was Alan and others who too had been
picked up on suspicion of driving offences. The Police assumed I was a naval officer
and suggested I wait at the end of the queue to be tested for excessive alcohol
in my blood and by the time I was checked I was Ok and allowed to go.
A
Christmas card for Miss Bulled
I was alone that Christmas December 1999) but
hat did not deter me and I decided to invite my childrenÕs headmistress, Miss
Bulled of Henry Cort School, to our Christmas celebration, to our church in
Farlington. So to kill two birds with one stone, so to speech, I designed a
Christmas card, with pictures of all my children on the front cover and sent it
to her. I simple wrote:
We wish you all a
Meaningful Christmas and
A new birth for the New Year
St. John 3. 5-7.
David Clarke, children and friends are inviting
you to our Christmas Celebration at The Hilton International, Farlington.
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Granddad
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Grandma
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Elly, Esther, Dad, David, Isaac
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Rebekah and Daddy
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Needless to say when my children found out I
had written like this to their headmistress they were so very embarrassed and
havenÕt go over it to this day. Any way Miss Bullhead was rather pleased to
receive the card and wrote to me to thank for the invite. So it couldnÕt have
been that bad.
During this time of making music, my mind was
very active and learning new things. I had just learned how to scan colour
pictures into a computer and print in colour. I was armed with this skill and I
put together a storybook using Rupert bear cartoons to illustrate and express
my wish and desire to sing my song to Silver Girl on Christmas Day. I put this
together and sent it along with the music CD disc to my daughter that Christmas
of 2000. Go to our website to read and listen to the story.
It took me a year how ever do devise a means
of getting Silver Girl to hear my song,
This
is what I did
I wrote a story using Rupert Bear pictures to
form a book, which tells of how Rupert Bear helped David to form a Rock Band,
to sing his song. Example:
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Rupert is a lovely Bear heÕs always kind and always
fair
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When David was a little boy he told his dream to
Rupert Bear
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The
whole story tells how Rupert Bear got together students from DavidÕs classes at
Fareham College to form a band. The song was sung and recorded on a CD and sent
to his daughter, along with the story to be read and herd on Christmas Day, December
2000 and sent to his daughter
Following this event I took interest in my
student interests. They had formed a rock band called ÒDesperate MeasuresÓ and
wanted help in promoting them selves and getting books for musical gigs. They
were very happy for me to manage them and do all the promotions. I am sure that
this new interest was driven as a result of a reaction to the problems I was
facing in my marriage and as a result I created a series of deliberate high
moods, in my fight against my depression.
I came up with an idea to create publicity for
the band. One member was to live in a coffin for a week and be carried each
day, to various eating-places in Fareham to be feed free meals for 7 days. They
would also enter the Beat The Band Competition, held at Oliver's Bar, in Gosport, on the 5th May 2000.
It was agreed and I began to make all the
necessary arrangement and entered the Band for the competition. I built the
coffin at Fareham College and painted it black and wrote on the side the
advertised event. Then drove around Fareham and district with the coffin tied
to the roof of my yellow Ford Fiesta.
Coffin on the roof of my
Fiesta
However news of these events brought so
much publicity that the member of the band (Mark Rogers) who was to sleep in
the coffin had second thoughts about being involved. He Òbottled outÓ saying he
might get his Job Seekers allowance and housing Benefit stopped if he was not
available for work. So the band cancelled the planned event. My response to
this was to recruit others to form the band so I took the coffin to Fareham
College and stood it in the main hall at the beginning of the day and stopped
the first likely lad to pose in the coffin. It turned out he was a guitar
player called Gavin fro Portchester He was chosen to play the lead in our new
band Dave Clarke and the resurrection,
from the 60Õs.
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Mark
Rogers he bottled out
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Gavin
Marks replacement
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Gavin
our lead guitarist, in the coffin at Fareham College
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I initially got permission from the Principal
to put the coffin in the hall but then he had second thoughts and asked me not
to do it. However it was too late the photograph had already been taken. As you
can see it was as tough it was made for Gavin. I formed the band with Gavin,
Morrison-Govern, Mike Fisher, Vince for Gosport and me singing.
House
nearly burnt down
It was during this time that Mark Rogers, the
main man in the band, and who was to sleep in the coffin for a week was working
at home at number 11 Hayling Close. In was away that night whilst I was off
seeing to recruit some Ceroc dancers for our music event in Gosport when I got
a call to say my house was on fire. I asked Mark was every one safe and was
told yes and the fire brigade and policed were there. I was told David and Elly
had escaped but apart from the kitchen being burnt out it was all-OK. Here is
the news article,
The News Fareham Thursday 9, 2000
Blaze may have been avoided-if batteries had
been fitted to detectors FIREFIGTERS IN ALARM WARNING
Mark
Rogers in our burnt out kitchen
I realised there was nothing to gain by rushing home so stayed the rest
of the evening and asked the Cerock dancers to see if they could dance to my song,
ÒCan your RememberÓ, which I had recorded on a Sony mini disk player.
During the run up to the week Esther my eldest
daughter wanted to borrow my Fiesta and I agreed provided she drove it with the
coffin on the roof. I am not sure, as I can't remember, if she did drive the
car but the following day the coffin had been stolen so I reported the matter
to the police.
The News Tuesday March 24th, May 2000
The News Article Tuesday March
21st 2000
It was some days later that the coffin was
recovered and we were back in business, so to speak. Here is the News Report of it's finding.
The News Saturday
April 15th 2000
The News Article Saturday
April 15th 2000
Not to be deterred I recruited another student
from college to live in the coffin and he was to be carried by his student
friends and fellow musicians, to Weather Spoons, MacDonaldÕs, Burger King,
Edwin's and the Oast and Squire to be fed as planned. It was also decided we
should put another band and replace ÒDesperate MeasuresÓ by Dave Clarke from the 60's and the
Resurrection. The band was formed and we performed as planned singing my
songs, ÒRebekah's FieldÓ, ÒMy ResurrectionÓ and ÒCan you rememberÓ. It was
a crazy night and the bar was packed and during the last song one of my sonÕs
friends, Morgan, a BMX'er from Portsmouth, pored lighter fuel on my trousers
and caught light to me. Fortunately the fire was put out by a pint of beer.
Needless to say we did not win, as we were probably the worst band at the event
but not the dullest.
Morgan
was caned
For poring lighter fuel in me in the pub I had
to ain Morgan for his actions.
We let him off lightly because he did turn up
with his BMX bike as I had asked him to tow the coffin down the street to
OliverÕs Bar, using his BMX bike along wit his friends from the skate Park in
Portsmouth.
The Air Balloon Portsmouth
Ironing to Xube music at The
Air Balloon
Our next musical event and band promotion was
at the Air Balloon in Portsmouth. Xube was
playing and we did what was known as an ÒInstallationÓ there. Mike Fisher on
Bass and Dave White on keyboard. It was Drama to Xube music. We were what you
might call progressive musicians getting away from the old fashion ways of men
and women relationships. We were modern men no longer went to the pub on our
own with the boys, leaving our wives alone at home doing house work, but took
our wives with us. They could come as well provided they did the ironing in the
pub.
A problem of stolen equipment
One problem
with dealing and helping many people is that you donÕt know whom you can
trust. A number of students from
Fareham College were interested in our music ventures that I called Rock and
Real Music and they came to my home, not only making music but also be involved
in video production. One of which
videoÕs we made at Stubbington Cemetery and are now on the web. www.youtube.com (Search for
davidolores)
One such
problem was that a lot of
valuable equipment was stolen from my house and I heard by the grape vine that
two the students, Gavin Sampson and Jodie who had been to my house often had
stolen these items and sold it to Ging Roberts. So I made some enquiries and
eventually got hold of Ging and asked for his help after writing him a letter
of request:
Ging as they call you
Or
otherwise, Jamie Roberts, 25
Langston Court 26th September 2000
I have been
trying to contact you for a few weeks now but I can never catch you in, so I am
writing this note to you.
Gavin
Sampson, from Portchester, sold you some guitars and electrical gear a few
weeks ago. ThatÕs fair enough except that the gear he sold you was stolen from
my house. Other stuff also went missing (Jodie took it but denies he did so)
– a Sharp mini CD recorder and mini discs. There are two GoodmanÕs radio
handsets (trans-receivers) and some valuable CDÕs.
I was
looking after some of this gear for a friend of mine who was in prison at the
time and now he is out he is looking for his stuff.
A few
friends of mine have asked around to recover the stuff and we now know where it
is and where it went. I met Bruster, in Reading Remand Centre last Wednesday
and he informed me Gavin Sampson also sold some of the stuff at the Cash
Exchange, in North End.
I have
given Jodie and Gavin Sampson plenty of to recover and return the stuff but
they seem to think we will forget about it. A few friend of mine know you- Rob
White (now Deceased) Frazer, Wesley and others who say you are OK and will help
me recover the stuff.
Gavin
Sampson Jodie
I have told
Sampson and Jodie we donÕt wish to involve the police, so as not to get them a
criminal record and am not interested in who else was involved but we want our
stuff back.
They have the following choices:
1 Return
the stuff (anonymously) – if need be- like some has already re-appeared.
2 Attend
a ÒHouse CourtÓ at number 11 Hayling Close.
3 A
normal criminal court if the police are involved.
I have made
known that I am not into breaking fingers or kneecapping or shot gun reprisals,
as there are other ways to deal with this kind of matter.
I would value you help
in helping me recover the items of stuff that you know about.
Dave
Clarke, On
behalf or Mark Rogers.
After this
Ging and I had a meeting and I gave him £100, which he had paid for our goods,
and he said he would get back what he could. How ever I had to chase things up
as trouble began to brew. Here my note to Ging.
Ging 4th
October 2000
Urgent
How are
things with the recovery of the stuff? Unfortunately things seem to be getting
a little bit out of hand, as Jodie has got his nose broken on Tuesday.
Apparently
EllyÕs friend Wesley was not happy with my stuff being taken and took it upon
himself to act on his own (I do not approve) and I told him we have the matter
sorted but breaking noses or any sort of violence will not help.
As result
Jodie informed the College nurse and as a result Wesley was expelled fro College
today. I feel unless these items are recovered there may be some serious
violence that could take place. All of which, I wish to avoid.
Please call
me with some good news.
David
Clarke
Good Recovered
Thankfully
most of the goods were returned and Ging became a friend and later wanted to
help with the work I wanted to do, in helping people to stay off drugs. I learned later that unfortunately for
him he was a heroine Addict and sadly died a few years later. How ever before
his death we made a video together about drug addiction and he wanted to use it
to warn other not to get involved. The video shows him preparing the heroine
and the needle and injecting himself. He described his experience and he wanted
to help with the project of help and warning people to stay off drugs etc. I had already made a video regarding the
drug problem, in Stubbington and had sent it to the Police, The News, Schools
in Stubbington and Prince Charles and Ging wanted to help.
Ging Dies
I was later
informed of GingÕs sad death and replied to a request on YouTube about
information about Ging. I posted part of GingÕ video on YouTube. I wasnÕt long
however that GingÕs relatives responded with fierce opposition so I removed it
at their request. It was pointed out that I had spelt the title of Prince
Charles wrong. Instead of HRH Prince of Wales I had written HRH Prince of Whales- to which GingÕs
father took exception too.
Xube Rock music to everything
Xube music
as the brainchild of Mike Fisher, on of my former students and David White both
from Gosport. Mike had played bass on my song ÒCan you rememberÓ, and as a
result I began to promote their music.
David is the manager of a new Rock band called
Xube
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WHATÕS
ALL THIS
XUBE
MUSIC
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Mike Fisher-Dave White
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Duncan
Tickler (Now
deseased)
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¥ Spectacular light show, Great music. Xube Art,
party atmosphere.
¥ Xube can tailor a performance fit for any
occasion.
¥ Xube are primarily a duo who have managed to
mix musical styles
Combining them into infectious rhythmic
dance grooves.
¥ The Xube concept has been purposely designed to
offer a refreshing
Different alternative to what is normally
expected.
¥ Xube cause intrigue wherever they perform and
instantly capture and hold
The interest of any audience.
Watch out for:
1.0 Xube
Drama 2.0 Xube
Rock
3.0 Xube
Therapy 4.0 Tube
Marriage
5.0 Xube
Birth 6.0 Xube
Art
In fact Xube Music to anything.
Xube Rock Art Music
To be part of this Xube phenomenon call:
Mike Fisher on 02392 786294
An example
of Xube art was where our artistÕs performed their work at The Stables in
Gosport. Two of Fareham students were models and for the sake of modesty I
insisted the girls each wore a body stocking while they were painted as Xube
music was played.
Duggy Hammond at the Stables in Gosport with our
Xube Models
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Jim Gold XubeÕs Resident artist
Xube Models to the right
Bellow. These are the first ladies to give
birth to Xube babies
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Should I pay Council Tax?
Towards the
end of the year 2000 the Council Tax office wrote to me wanting me to pay extra
council tax as it had been reported that I had someone living in my caravan
which was parked on my front drive. Here is my letter of reply to them.
The letter
to Council Tax Manager Fareham Borough Council
19th
December 2000
Dear Sir or
Madam,
Re: Council Tax 440189724 your letters 11th
December and 28th September
In response
to your second letter regarding he above (Council Tax for someone living in a
caravan) I have in fact already been asked about this before and I have had a
visit from Mr Cooper from Building Control etc.
It appears
to me that I have been a victim of a prolonged campaign, by these spurious
allegations by neighbours. Complaints have been made in the past including the
following:
1
Persons
sleeping in a tent
2
Allowing
animals to copulate in the garden
3
Allowing
children to use bad language in the street
4
Parking on
the pavement (the complainant failed to persuade a police constable to issue a parking ticket)
5
Overcrowding
6
Storing
gas cylinders
7
Running an
electrical repair business
8
Running a
house or occupying a house in multiple occupation
9
Generating
loud music
10
Connecting up a gas supply
This
allegation is just another to add to the list with no truth in it. It is
alleged I allow a Persons or students from Fareham College to live in my
caravan. Such an accusation I have denied already in the past. Except for the
fact that my children sleep in the caravan during the summer holidays (occasionally).
My daughter
has also suffered from anonymous, abusive phone calls, from a neighbour. No one
has ever spoken to me personally about any such problems except for the noise
and I have dealt with that immediately. I am not the only person to have had this
type of problem with the neighbourÕs.
Now regards the caravan
As I
understand things, a person would not be allowed to reside in a caravan unless
Building Control allows it. If this was allowed then the Council would be due
whether they lived there or not. I already stated no one is living in my
caravan. However allow my tongue in check reply.
It has been
reported to me that the following picture was taken of an occupant in the
caravan and it is believed it escaped from the animal recue center in Stubbington.
It looks rather dangerous to me and I donÕt think it has the means to pay the
Council any Tax. I dare not ask it.
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Yours
Sincerely
David
Clarke
Merry
Christmas and Happy New Year. We will
do our best to keep the peace.
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The occupant of the caravan 11 Hayling Close PO14
3AE
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Michael had
written to me in 1998 asking me to help him and I could tell from his first
letter he was in a very bad way. He told me of another Englishman, Suny Wilson, who had been "set upÓ for a crime he did not do
and was sentenced to death in 1996.
Michael use to visit him on Death Row
and spend time together. The Philippine Supreme Court acquitted Suny Wilson, on
the 19th December 1999 through the help of Alan C. Atkins and Errol Wilkinson and he had
given Michael a small paperback entitled "Mere Christianity" by CS
Lewis on his release. Michael read this book and was later convinced that Jesus
was the Christ the Son of the living God.
Dear David, 7th
May 1999
With regards to me writing my life story etc.,
for you to include in your book! Please David forgive me but I am so screwed
up, I just could not handle it right now. It takes me all my strength to just
write this letter to you...
I am so very pleased that you are concerned for
me and that you include me in your prayers and your fellow Christians. I do
believe in God and Jesus Christ but even though I pray and ask him to please
forgive me, for all my sins, and to help me to be a better person and to take
over the rest of my life on earth and to lead me into heaven - I do not want to
go to hell because I know that what I am suffering now is nothing to the
perpetual hell which would await me after physical death on earth. My faith is
not strong enough and I am so very, very, confused. Even if I get out of here
what am I going to do with the rest of my life. I am looking very old, skinny,
withdrawn. I have not smiled in almost 4 years. Where am I going to live? How
can I earn a living in my condition?
Oh,
David I am so very afraid of the future and it hurts me so much to even think about it.
I have become old before my time and all I can see is loneliness in some dingy
rented room and no chance of ever finding some one (a lady) to love and share
things with. Oh, David what am I going
to do?
The only thing that stops me thinking about
suicide is that hell will be waiting for me and the torment there will be a
million times worse. Will I ever smile again? Will I ever love again? Will any one love me
again? Is
it possible to be happy again? I do not have any reason to live and that is so
very frightening. Oh,
David I know you have your problems that may be greater than mine and to be
honest I do not know how you cope. How
do you manage to keep working and keep your home going, the loss of you wife must
be absolutely unbearable? May be you can suggest how I tackle my problems of
the future, for me there simply is no light at the end of the tunnel.
When I leave here I donÕt even have a pair of
shoes. I will have to start all over again but the question is how do I start
all over again? I
simply have no will to live and I just could not cope with living on my own as
I know I would not be able to fend for my self. To think of buying a property is really out of
the question. What do I do? What do I do?
Another reason why I cannot think of writing my
life story is because I am truly ashamed of many of the things I have done and
I donÕt really want to broadcast my evil past for every one to read. I have
confessed to the Lord and I just hope He will forgive me.
You asked me how I felt about you becoming a
Christian 30 years ago. Well I was quite proud of you but felt you were a
little over the top but I never mocked you in any way. My heart broke with
Karen Mead and the collapse of Tudor Charm and my divorce I will expand on that
some other time so please David not at the moment, you might have to wait until
I am released.
At the moment I am taking each day at a time and
I keep praying that I will be acquitted of this horrible conviction, which I
hope will give me added strength to face the future. I am sorry my letter is so depressing, all I can
do is pray to out the Lord for strength and guidance.
Once again David thank you again for not
forsaking me and I am sure you will be always there to give me support.
Please give all my love to the Children Regards
Michael.
It was
during my long and lonely separation that I felt able and compelled to write my
life story, which resulted in my second book, "Converted on LSD
Trip". This penned my life story and how I first became a Christian,
through a very bad experience on an LSD trip and this was published on 11th
February 2001. How ever whilst writing the story I received the news of
MichaelÕs conversion and included some of his story in my book. The publication
of my book was not to every ones liking.
Just after one year I noticed a remarkable
change in MichaelÕs outlook and his state of mind. It was all for the better. I
gradually felt able to read and digest the 29
National Bureau of Investigation Report (NBI), which clearly clears Michael of charges made
against him. This record goes on to a recommendation that Fr. Shay Cullen,
MichaelÕs Complainant, be deported on the grounds of him being and undesirable
alien in the Philippines. (See report appendix 01)
Dear David, July 3rd 2000
Just a few lines wishing every thing are o.k. With
you and you are being to sort out how you will be able to see your daughter on
mutual terms.
There is no movement with regards to my case
with the Board of Pardon and Parole because as of today my prison records have
not been sent from the prison document section to the Board. Every thing moves
so slowly it really drives me crazy.
I am still reading a lot of Christian books. The
one I am reading now is ÒJoy
UnspeakableÓ by Dr. Martin Lloyd Jones. It
is all about the Holy Spirit and I believe that baptism of the Holy Spirit is
some thing distinct and does not always, as some people think happen
automatically at conversion. The Holy Spirit is within every believer at
conversion YES but the baptism can come at any time when Jesus Christ chooses
to out pour it upon us. And if us ChristianÕs are not aware of this and do not
seek this ultimate experience I believe they are quenching the Holy Spirit, by
not praying for it, and not just for them selves but for the whole Christian
Church. ÒRevivalÓ.
Etc.
Your are always in my prayers
Michael.
News of MichaelÕs conversion
Michael wrote to me again to me in 2000 with news of his
conversion to Christianity and of him being baptised, in a 45 gallon oil drum
in New Bilibid Prison, by Lucas Dangatan, a former inmate, who was now a
Religious Volunteer (RVO) working
in New Bilibid Prison and Pastor of the New Bilibid Prison Theological
Institute (NBPTI) in the prison. I finally believed Michael was telling the
truth about his conviction. That he too had been "set up" for a crime he did not commit. This was clear to
me after reading the National Bureau of Investigation (NBI) report, written by
the Bureau in 1995. See Appendix ÒTrojan
Warriors" to read the report.
This report was brought to me by Suny Wilson, who himself had been
wrongly convicted on a charge of rape. He called me on the telephone, on the
25th December 1999, soon after he returned to England, to introduce himself and
he then came to see me with news of Michael and to give me the NBI report.
Michael
is baptized in the prison
As I was putting the final touches to the
first edition of Converted on LSD Trip, I felt compelled to include Michael's
story (this is a STOP PRESS story) and must be told by Michael himself but in
his letters to me when, I asked him to write his side of the story to
compliment, "Converted on LSD Trip" he wrote in May 1999, "with regards to me writing my life
story etc. For you to include in your book! Please David forgive me but I am so
screwed up I just could not handle it right now it takes all my strength just
to write this letter to you". Our Church sent him a new leather bound
bible and a couple of tapes and some friend wrote to him. He said also he was
very pleased my fellow Christians were praying for him and were concerned about
him. He expressed he was so very low and did believe in God and had asked
forgiveness for all his sins and trusted in him. He wonders could any one ever
love him and would he ever smile again or could he ever be happy again. Another
reason why he could not think to write his story was because he said ÒI am
truly ashamed of many things I have done and really did not wish to broadcast
my evil past to every one at that timeÓ. He had confessed to the Lord and just
hoped he would be forgiven.
In July 2000 Michael wrote he was reading
Christian books and at that present time was reading, "Joy
Unspeakable" by Dr Martin Lloyd -Jones. I was very encouraged and soon
realised he had become a Christian when he expressed his wish to work in full
time Christian ministry.
It became very apparent to
me and to others that God had demonstrated His goodness to another undeserving
sinner. Michael John Clarke. This was indeed good news to say the least. Armed
with this good news and my intentions, I told my story to the religious
correspondent at The News Portsmouth, Lizzy Millar.
THE
NEWS Saturday August 12th 2000
ON THE left is Dave
Clarke - college lecturer and committed Christian. On the right is his
brother Michael - currently languishing in a prison cell in the
Philippines.
The News Saturday, August 12, 2000
Dave spends much of his
spare time trying to help young people turn away from a life of crime. Now
he is on his most important mission yet - trying to save his brother's soul.
Dave converted to
Christianity almost 30 years ago, after sharing a life of crime with his
brother in their youth. But his brother Michael went further off the rails and
is now in a jail in the Philippines.
Dave, 52, of Hayling Close
said, regular letters from his brother showed he was sick of his lifelong
criminal past, and was thinking of becoming a Christian. He said: 'Michael wrote to me saying he was
despairing and suicidal and asked me about my faith. 'I've been praying hard for him and believe he
has now come to know the Lord as his personal savior. I think he is listening
to what I write.
Both brothers were
notorious criminals in Buckinghamshire where they lived in the 1960s. They were
jailed for malicious wounding, which involved shooting a woman in the face with
an air weapon at Margate.
Dave said: ÒWhen I came out
I knew everything there was to know about crime. It was a good schoolÓ.
ÒI was determined to have
the best of everything and went about it with determination. ÒI was riding on
my brother's reputation. I thought he was cool, but others may not have done
so. I set up a garage business for stolen cars.'
Dave went to Borstal for 12
months while his brother, who denied the charge, went to Maidstone prison for
two years.
Father-of-five Dave went
straight after converting to Christianity in 1970. He moved to Fareham where he
began teaching electronics at the town's college, and became involved with the
Christian Gospel Church.
His brother went on the run
after being given home leave from prison but was recaptured and served his full
sentence.
Michael is now four years
into a 16-year jail sentence in prison in the Philippines for promoting child
sex tourism. This crime he has always denied.
MICHAEL Clarke discovered
the Philippines and its cheap sex business in 1995 when he set himself up as a
tour operator.
He placed an advertisement
under the name of Paradise Express
in Exchange and Mart and produced crude brochure describing a 12-night holiday
as the dirty dozen and with Photos of bikini clad woman as well as giving
details on how to find a Filipino wife.
Michael Clarke, who is
divorced with a daughter, had been arrested: for agreeing that under age
prostitutes could be procured, after he had been captured on a hidden camera.
He is appealing against the conviction as an Irish priest set him up.
Dave said he hoped his
brother would now find God and give up crime.
He added Ò I regret the
hurt and pain I caused, but I realize I had to go through what I have because
when I talk to kids to keep them out of trouble I have credibility.
Lizzy Millar The
News
12th August 2001.
Our local news reporter Liz Millar of The News
wrote to Michael, via e mail and asked the following questions Ò as follows:
Liz also wrote these questions for Michael in
28th Aug 2000
Questions for Michael Clarke
1) How do you plan to get out of prison?
Answer - Conditional Pardon by way of
voluntary deportation
2) How can we be sure you've changed your
ways?
Answer - It is my Lord Jesus Christ that has
convicted me of all my Sins, but regards to the crime I was convicted for,
which I will always maintain my innocence as Fr. Shay invented this crime.
Cullen who is an Irish Priest and he himself
has been charged with Rape and a warrant is now out for his arrest with NO BAIL
granted. The Victim is a 7-year-old girl.
I amongst several foreigners have become a
victim of Fr. Cullen and The Modus Operandi of him is now under investigation
by the Secretary of Justice whom hopefully in the long run will vindicate me completely
from this present conviction.
The fact that I am now a true Christian and my
FAITH will safe guard me from the temptations of the Devil. It is the same
FAITH that assures me of eternal life. AMEN.
I wrote to Michael in order to encouraged him
and said he must now be baptised (Dipped) and I gave him the words as he had expressed
into what name or on who's authority should he be baptised? I said In the name of
Jesus (his authority) and get immersed water, in the name of Father, Son and
Holy Ghost (Spirit). I said he must get one of the inmates who was a Christian
to dip him or one of the Christian works that he knew.
These he did and on the 16th September Michael
was baptised, as a Christian, in a make shift 45-gallon oil drum.
Michael is baptised
16th September 2000. Philippines
Subject: My visit today to Michael
Date: Tue, 19 Sep 2000 16:37:09 +0800
He sends you this reply.
I was baptised "by immersion" on
Sept. 16th 2000 a photo, the photo is now being developed.
Your suggested words were used even before I
received your views. YES please put on the web sites the NBI report. But do not
give any details whatsoever as to my past criminal record this is personal so
just say in general terms that over the years he did many things that were
wrong including breaking the criminal law. This also concerns any newspaper
stories about me. NO DETAILS only general.
Regards to Liz MillerÕs question asking,
"what does he expect the new story will do to help him".
ANSWER
To expose the truth about the fabricated case
against me brought about by Fr. Shay Cullen. But I believe that God will use
this situation to expose the works of Satan and in doing so I have surrendered
myself to the Lord and have devoted the rest of my life to saving other lost souls.
I have forgiven Fr. Shay Cullen for his evil
acts and hope he too confesses his sins to the lord as well as publicity
otherwise I know that he is not a Christian and the Lord will punish him in his
own way.
Ps Michael was first imprisoned June 7th 1995
- date of sentence Oct 11th 1996 to date
5 years 4 months in Prison
MichaelÕs Baptism Group
(Pastor Lucas- bottom centre)
I was over the moon with delight and I wrote
and told him this was the way forward and we will go on together with Gods help
and strength get him clear or acquittal and out of prison.
John Sawyers
funeral
At that time John Sawyer, one of my students
died. He was a diabetic and lived alone at 6 Ranson Close, Titchfield.
The police rang me one morning asking if I
knew John Sawyer. I explained I was his course tutor at Fareham College and he
was one of my student doing a City and Guilds course in Electronics Servicing.
The
policeman explained John was found dead in his home at Titchfield and he had no
relatives to contact and my telephone number was the only contact they found in
JohnÕs house.
I
had known John, as a student at College, for about two years and had visited
him at his home. He had shared with me about his life and his struggles with
Fareham Borough Council about his workshop that they stopped him building.
He
was quite a well-liked character amongst the staff at Fareham College. He loves
his wife, who had died a few years previously, and so he returned to college
doing mechanical engineering and electronics as a hobby. He was a mechanic and
engineer having all kinds of good electronic and mechanical equipment.
Since
John had no relatives we decided at college to make arrangements for his own
departure. It was muted at first we hire a proper vicar to conduct the funeral.
It was then I stepped in and said I would be pleased to conduct his funeral.
Several
students and staff came to his funeral including Geoff Whitefield our Head of
School and our Health and safety officer Marilyn Dufour.
Our
technicians and staff were his coffin bearers whilst I spoke a few relevant
words about John and his life. I related that Jesus at the tomb of Lazarus
wept. It was a natural thing to feel and express grief. I said had John been a
believer he would have gone to be with Christ but he had made no profession of
faith, as far as any one knew. So I couldnÕt say any more.
It
was a sorrowful occasion but John had a respectful funeral and he left us with
good memories of him self.
It
was commented after the funeral that his coffin was so heavy they suggested
John had taken with him his tool kit.
It
was also said I made a better preacher than a lecturer; little did they know
that that was my real calling.
It can be said that I cater
for all my students' needs although I have not yet been a mid wife. Nor have I
conducted a marriage.
It was in
March 2001 that I was given 6 months notice my compulsory redundancy. I had
taught electronics at Fareham College since September 1988, however student
numbers had declined over the years and the college had decided to no longer
offer the courses I had taught. I felt very insecure and was not sure about the
future on all fronts. With this bad news and sense of despair I tried to speak
to my estranged wife. I was concerned about our future and I had the need to
talk about our finances but she state that she wanted nothing to do with my house, my money, or anything and wanted nothing do with
my brother, as she stated he was a
paedophile.
I felt so
alone and realised I had to look after my own interests and my brother. I knew
if I had no income she would not get any money from me for maintenance for my
daughter and have to rely on other sources. And so since she wanted nothing to
do with my concerned I felt there was no reason for me to stay in the U.K when
I could be in the Philippines, giving assistance to my brother who needed me.
This was
the moving cause and reason of our first mission to the Philippines and enabled
me to make the decision to go. My wife would have to see to her life on her
own.
The story of ÒConverted on
LSD TripÓ was an embarrassment to some people, including the Principal of
Fareham College who was my employer. The Principal being Malcolm Charnley. I
just could not understand this no one seamed to realize what was happening and
it was clear the book was judged by itÕs cover. The Principal wrote:
ÒI
do not wish to be associated personally or professionally with a book entitled ÒConverted on LSD TripÓ with itÕs over
reference to drug takingÓ.
October 2001.
This was presumably because
the book had been published whilst I was working at Fareham College. In my true
story I mention my work at the College and my turn away from God and so was
probably an embarrassment to the College. It was remarked by some that my story
might have been just too much for the College to cope with and that my imminent
redundancy from the college was the result. The strange thing was that whilst all
this was taking place the College was under considerable pressure from the
Health and Safety Executive who were examining it for not dealing correctly
with problems of asbestos on its premises.
The College was later fined
(February 2002) on four counts, a sum of over £23,000, for exposing staff and
students to asbestos dust. This however was after I finished work at the
college, in August 2001. My redundancy fro Fareham College made it possible for
me to complete our Mission to the Philippines.
Portsmouth consultant Psychiatrist approves my book
The irony was that at the
same time Dr. Philip Fleming, the consultant psychiatrist of the Kingsway
House, the center for Substance Misuse Service, Portsmouth had written a
forward to the second edition.
Dear David,
I attach a brief review of your book as requested.
As you will see I found your experiences of great interest and I am sure your
book will be of help to many.
Best wishes
Philip Fleming
"Converted
on LSD Trip"
This book, the personal testament of David
Clarke, in in an autobiographical style. It charts his life, which became one
of criminality and drug taking though an experience in 1970 of finding God
whilst under the influence of LSD. Cynics may say that this was just an effect
of drugs, but it is clear that the experience changed his life. Later when in
court facing charges he admitted to many other crimes and was fortunate in
receiving three years conditional discharge and not a prison sentence.
Since then David has combined his work as a
lecturer in electronics with his mission of spreading the word of God. This is
a scrupulously honest book recording both the difficulties he has faced as well
as the successes in his life since 1970. A continuing worry is the fat of his
brother, currently serving a long prison sentence in a Philippine jail who
himself has recently found God.
ÒThis is an inspiring story of a life that has
been turned from crime to a positive account and may be of help to others who
find them selves directionless and involved in crime and drug misuseÓ.
Dr. Philip M. Fleming. MA.
BA, Bch. FRCPsych. DPM.
Consultant
Psychiatrist
with special responsibility for drugs and alcohol services. Kingsway House is the base for these
services in Portsmouth. May 2001
Knowing these things I felt
that middle class morality stank and not all men have faith to see beyond and
outward show of righteousness. Some went so far as to say ÒI must withdraw
the book from circulationÓ. They believed it would do harm and not good.
Gordon
Smith contacts me
My book had
been published and news article appearing the Bucks Herald newspaper, in
Aylesbury and as a result Gordon Smith, an old of Michael and contacted me and
we renewed acquaintances. It was then we decided we would go together to the
Philippines to assist my brother. It was decided we would visit for 3 weeks, as
this was the longest time we could visit without a visa.
The decision to go to help
Michael.
The decision to go and help my brother Michael was made in May 2001
and was born after a long and bitter conflict with my wife. We had separated and I had lived
separately since November 1998. I did not want this separation and wanted
reconciliation. My attempt to work together in a Christian marriage had
failed. It was our on-going
arguments, over the conduct of the children of my first marriage, and an on
going legal battle over my access to me seeing our very young daughter. It
became apparent that we were unable to see eye-to-eye, about anything, and
unable to discuss any matter without emotions rising, developing into
unreasonable arguments, and leaving me feeling total despair.
The
stress had driven me to ask for personal of counselling at my work, in order to
help me deal with the sense of hurt, rejection and, loss along with resentful
feelings that I was experiencing. This lasted for two years until I was able to
handle the conflicts I faced. It
had always been my view that it was wrong for my wife and I to live separately
and for me to be denied the natural right to be with my very young
daughter. I also felt it was her
right to be with and see her daddy on a daily basis. I also knew we just could not afford the
luxury of two homes. I was living in the house I had purchase before our
marriage and my wife and daughter were living in our matrimonial home, which
belonged to my wife before we married. I felt, as she was not prepared to be reasonable
about all these things and resolve our marriage problems I would have to take
the legal route.
I had
experienced many months of arguments and dispute, with Nurse Ratchet, which
included a long drawn out protracted legal battle over my rights to see my
daughter. It was noted by the respondent's solicitor that I had written over
1000 A4 sheets to which she had to address. The shear volume of my
correspondence indicated my concern and wishes to see my daughter. After my petition
to the court the judge ordered that my wife would have the responsibility of
bring up my daughter and I would have access to see her at certain times,
without hindrance or let. How ever even this did not work.
The Child
Support agency had eventually, assessed our financial status and set the amount
of Child Support I was give her mother. I was thankful for this because
although I had given voluntary maintenance to my wife, from 5th November 1998
to 1st August 1999, Nurse Ratchet refused to apply for a CSA assessment. Nurse
Ratchet insisted and refused to cooperate stating neither she nor my daughter wanted any money from me.
It was
only after she had been advised by her Solicitor, in February 2000, to make the
much-needed application to the CSA to assess the amount of maintenance I should
pay her. It was this action that resolved the matter. So maintenance was now
determined by the CSA, for which I was thankful because otherwise my daughter
would either get no money or we would be perpetually engaged in unreasonable
arguments about money. She had decided that I should go and it would seem no
consideration was given to how this separate life style should be funded. I certainly could not afford or be prepared
to pay the luxury of running two homes. Nurse Ratchet would have to pay for
that luxury, which I could not afford.
Gordon and I left on our mission to the
Philippines, in order to bring help and relief to Michael who had organize our
mission from within the New Bilibid Prison, along with the help of various
Religious Volunteers (RVO) who worked in the prison.
New Bilibid Prison is the largest prison in
the Far East and consists of three compounds. The Maximum, Medium and Minimum
compounds along with penal farms. At the time of our visit the prison housed
over 23,000 inmates with 1200 men on Death Row. Michael was in the Maximum-Security
Compound and in that high walled prison were various religious groups that
looked forward to our visit as Michael had arranged that we should speak and
tell of our religious experiences that I recorded in my book, Converted on LSD
Trip.
Our invitation to visit the Philippines, on
this mission, was by issued by Joseph Kim, a Korean missionary who did volunteer
work in the prison and he also arrange for us to visit other prisons and church
during our visit.
We also visited other jails, including Angeles
City and Barretto District Jail, were Michael was first imprison in 1995.
It was while we were sharing our experiences,
to a large group of prisoners in the Maximum compound, that both Michael and I
felt it would be good to let some of these prisoners, who had been converted
from crime to Christ, to share their testimonies with the free society. On that
occasion I requested a hundred men to write their personal testimonies and we
would publish them in a book that we would call, ÒTrojan WarriorsÓ. ISBN
9780953947317.
Trojan Horse International
During the next year Michael, along with Lucas
Dangatan, a religious volunteer (RVO) and pastor of the New Bilibid Prison
Theological Institute within the prison, worked together to collect and verify
these testimonies. I worked here in England and wrote our book, ÒTrojan
WarriorsÓ in which the vision we all shared is recorded and at that time was to
be realised.
|
|
Our vision
We had decided
that we would work together with Lucas Dangatan and his men in his New
Bilibid Prison Theological Institute, and form the first ever teacher
training college, called New Bilibid Teacher Training College, within a
prison, whose objective were to train men who had been converted from crime
to Christ to go back to there own cities, upon their release, to teach and
share the gospel with their own families and friends. We also planned to work
with the Department of Justice and have volunteer inmates, from Medium
security compound, to go into the Maximum compound and attend the Teacher
Training College, for instruction and help.
|
Our first Trojan Warrior In August 2002
William Poloc was released, after
serving 18 years in New Bilibid Prison. He was the first of what we hoped would
be many inmates to be released, with the support and financial aid of our New
Bilibid Teacher Training College.
Williams
PolocÕs (Extract from Trojan
Warriors) Testimony number 62 in our book Trojan Warriors
Inmate William C. Poloc
|
|
Name:
William O. Poloc
Age:
47 years old 3rd January 1954
Status: Married 3
children
Prison
No: 140226-P
Dormitory:
13-A
Crime:
Robbery with Homicide
Sentence: Life Imprisonment
Served: 13 yr. 6
months
Detained: Since 1988
Family: Address: 207 C. Michael St., Lower Engr's Hill,
Baguuio City, Philippines 2600
|
Dear Guys,
Greetings
in the sweetest name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Hey guys!
If you ain't be doing right now or maybe something's gonna be fussing you over,
just put on your stuff, get rid of those hanky-pankies from your mind and do
allow me to drive you into a footing you can be able to size up...."Who
you are, what you are, and where you are".
Guys just
do me a little favor by going over these few lines. You know I really mean
business. I don't want making any "tse-tse buret-tse" (exaggerated
stories) with you neither I go roaming around the bush because I know in some
degrees you're indeed a spoiled brat like me before. Well. If my A, B, C, would
hit you directly below the belt, thatÕs gonna be a sure sign that I made an
impact... No pain, No gain. Right!
On August
22nd 1989, I was sentenced by the court to suffer the penalty of life
imprisonment for committing a crime of robbery with homicide. Qualified as and
insular prisoner, I was then immediately transferred from Baguio City Jail to
the National Bilibid Prison. Maximum Security Compound, Muntinlupa City. The
place is a couple of hundreds kilometers away from my home. The legendary hell
inhabited by hardened criminals coming from different places of the country.
Killings, stabbings and rumbles are common activities and a daily experience
caused between gangs before.
My early
years in prison were indeed a mess. I could hardly adjust myself with the
unusual and unpleasant environment. The climate was too hot for a country boy
like me. I felt sick dealing with different people around. People who know no
other things but to invent tes-tse buret-tse just to deceive others. Sometimes
I became morally inclined when my family comes to visit. After all, I am back
again to my abnormal situation. Life in prison for the past eight years was a
bitter experience in my life. Until one day that was in June 1995 I happened to
attend a fellowship of born again Christians. I just don't know what prompted
me to get assembled with these enthusiastic people. It was my only first time
to join worshiping God demonstrated by dancing and clapping of hands. I really
felt irritated and thought to myself that these people had gone all insane. I
just wanted to step out of that rumpus place but there was some thing from
within that's gonna be pulling me to stay over. Eventually I tried to relax
myself and with curiosity, observe the next event that would take place after
the singing. Mean while a man rose from his seat, positioned himself at the
pulpit, and confidently delivered his message. I could not understand why at
that very moment my attention was focused on the preacher's message. It was a
message of hope, a hope for sinners like you and me. A hope that isn't
temporary a lasting one authenticated by the blood of Jesus Christ. I was
deeply moved and had been responsive by the preacher's message. It was very
interesting and encouraging, however, intimidating. In my perception, I sensed
that the preacher was emphatically hurling the message to me. But how did he
come to know my spiritual needs? Besides it was only the first time we met each
other. Nevertheless, whatever the intent of the preacher in delivering his
message, I don't care. I don't care if it hurts me, being a sinner. I am drawn
by his message and like it. I wanted to grasp everything he's trying to say.
Finally, the conclusion of the preacher ended in a simple statement of
challenge, which says. "Brothers, true hope can only be experienced
through faith in Christ".
As I lay on
my bed in my little room that very night, the message flashed back in my mind.
I tried to recapture and meditate everything he said and found out my self that
I am one of the worst sinners living against the will of God. And as a result,
I deserve the menacing punishment of hell. The glowing presence of the preacher's
massage that morning became real into my mind. I was convinced that through
faith in Christ was the only way to elude the consequences of being a sinner.
It was on
the evening of June 1995, that I decided to accept Christ in my little room.
Dragged by my will and emotion, I cried to God for the forgiveness of my sins.
I asked God to give me a new life. The following day I felt like being a new
man, I perceived that there was joy, peace and hope stimulating over my whole
being. After a couple of months I committed myself to a church and was
baptized. I really felt God was working in my life and wanted to equip me with
his word. So I enrolled then in a Theological Institute and by the grace of God
I was able finish a 4-yr. course Bachelor in Theology. At the same time I
endeavored to be active in every spiritual activity by preaching God's word to
other churches here in prison, evangelism, and sharing God's word to my co-
inmates.
Lots of
them were surprised to see the changes that miraculously transpired in my life.
And this led some of them to come and accept the Lord as their personal Savior.
People over
here call me a doctor. I remember a certain Englishman by the name Michael
Clarke. Every time he had a problem he used to consult me asking for a prescription.
Of course I have got to give the best spiritual medicines that will heal him.
In fact that is the reason why they call me the doctor.
From now
on, Muntinlupa the former grave of the living dead became the center of
evangelism for Christ. Missionaries and Evangelists from different places
thronged the place to preach the Word of God. Consequently lots of my co-
inmates arose from their graves (spiritually speaking) they've come to accept
Christ as their Lord and personal Savior.
Guy's! Have
you considered the questions? Who are you? What you are? Where you are? . The
Bible says that we are all sinners, therefore, each and every one of us
deserves death (torments in hell) but because of GodÕs loving-kindness he gave
us the antidote in the person of Our Lord Jesus Christ to save us from the
impending wrath of God.
Guy's it is
time for you to think it over. You're in danger; you're in need of a Savior.
Salvation is now! The Bible says that ... do not boast about tomorrow, we do
not know that day may bring forth. (Prov. 27.1)
If any one
cares to write to me it would be my pleasure to respond. C/o my family home
address. September 9th 2001.
Gordon
Smith saying good-bye to Dr. William Poloc.
Gordon had
just prayed to the Lord that one day he would bless him with a new leg because
he is due for release in August 2002 and wants to be a Trojan Warrior Outreach
Officer, in the jails in his mountain Province in Baguio City.
A Bionic
Leg would be a blessing.
Can any one
help?
Our Second mission to the Philippines
By October 2002, we had 66 testimonies, of
some of the most notorious criminals who had testified to their conversion from
crime to Christ. Twenty-two of these men were on Death Row, and I had the
privilege of putting together this book with their stories written for all to
see.
Our book was published and printed and we
shipped over 100 copies for each inmate that had submitted their testimony, and
we went on our second mission to continue the work we had begun.
William Poloc had returned to Baguio City and
commenced a work in the City Jail and Benguet District jail and during my visit
I had the privilege of baptizing 22 prisoners in Baguio City Jail and 8 souls
in Benguet District Jail.
Before
the Cock Crows
During my work in the Philippines, from
October 2002 and July 2003, I was able to register our ministry with the
Securities Exchange Commission, calling it Trojan horse International (TULIP) PhilÕs.
Incorporated and we were accepted as a bona fid ministry, which allowed
us to work in all the prisons in the Philippines.
During our mission I kept a diary and wrote
about the work we were doing. This
is to be published in our next book, which tells of the good and bad events
that we encountered. Sadly Michael died in New Bilibid Prison in May 2005,
before our vision to bring help to many in the Philippines was realised.
I realize that I had considerable opposition and
not every one was behind our work but I was not easily moved off course that
was because by the fear of the Lord and not man, I chose rather to obey
God and not be directed by the wisdom of men that are without faith towards
God. I call my readers to
look at the results of our mission recorded in this and our other publication
to judge, as it is my opinion that Christ has been honoured and God has been
glorified. And even though I had made enemies (I donÕt understand why), I took
encouragement from the commendation that I received from Prince Charles in
2002. This was because on my return to the UK in 2002,
I sought to work among young people in our area, to steer them away from crime
and drug use. In this work a made a documentary video highlighting the problem
of drug use among young people in Stubbington. The video was sent to the
schools, police and Prince Charles and it is his response that encouraged me to
continue the work we had begun not only in the Philippines but also now in the
UK. www.youtube.com (davidolores)
A commendation from Prince Charles
The work that I was engaged in brought
encouragement some and caused alarm to others. However I was not totally without
support as the Prince of Wales himself was very supportive of the work that I
began to do on my return from the Philippines. Here is his letter of encouragement:
From:
The Office of HRH The Prince of Wales 7th February 2002
Dear Mr. Clarke,
The Prince of Wales has asked me to thank you for
your letter of 22nd January in connection with the work, which you and others
in you local area are undertaking in relation to young people and drugs.
Your reasons for writing as you did are
appreciated and His Royal Highness is grateful to you for taking the trouble to
draw your very worthwhile efforts to his attention.
The
Prince of Wales
has asked me to send you all his best wishes for the future success of your
work.
Yours sincerely.
Mrs. Claudia Holloway
Present and
future Publications
The events of our first mission and subsequent
visits to the Philippines are recorded in our publication, ÒTrojan WarriorsÓ,
which contains the story of our mission along with 66 life giving testimonies of
hardened criminals, that had turned from crime to Christ, which makes very
interesting and helpful reading.
Our forth book ÒBefore the cock crowsÓ, tells the story of our second mission and
relates the success, opposition and final registration of Trojan Horse International (TULIP) PhilÕs. Incorporated, with the
Securities Exchange Commission, a bona fid Christian organisation in the
Philippines.
The first
question that comes to most peoples mind when I tell them of my conversion is Òare you sure it was not just the LSD. Is it really true, did Jesus really speak
to you or was it just the effects of LSDÓ. To which I would now reply, ÒIf it was just the effects of LSD then
OK it was a remarkable experience but that was all and I donÕt have to take any
more notice of it. However:
1 It
was real to me. I was so convinced that it changed my life over night. Of
course I questioned it from time to time, as I was the only one being effected
and I had every thing to gain or lose by following Jesus. It depends upon the
way you look at it. We know also Satan tempted Jesus in this way. How ever for
15 years I remained certain of its reality.
Yes of course it was true it really happened and the Word of God - the
Bible, by believers and non-believers, has confirmed my subsequent experience.
2 God
is well able to speak to people in dreams or on drugs.
3 God
is able to speak to people wherever they are and in whatever state of mind or
being they are. God would not be God if he could not do so. It is my wish that
God will speak to you through my (Testimony) i.e. writing about my experience.
4 I
fell into serious doubts 15 years later and questioned every aspect of my own
experience. I fell into depression and temptation and went through agony of
soul and body for a period of 3 years. I finally concluded God did not exist
and my experience was all in the mind.
This
led me to reason like this, ÒOf course
any oneÕs life would be radically changed if they believed the gospel because
it is so rational and sensible. It promises eternal life the forgiveness of
sins and a relationship with God. It is bound to affect anyone who takes it
seriously.Ó I thought however the
gospel might not be true and if it isnÕt then it doesnÕt matter what you
believe or do. I proved it does matter what you believe because look at me when
I acted and did as I did in unbelief.
5 I
forsook God and the truth that I had received and believed. Turning to many
sinful ways too shameful to speak of.
6 God
in his mercy drew me back in repentance and faith and I turned my back and the
many hurtful ways I had got involved in.
7 I
argue that God in his wisdom has allowed all these things to happen to me, both
the good and evil, to bring me to the point of testifying to the truth, of the
goodness and mercy of God. It is my pleasure to do so. It is now as natural for
me to glorify God as it is for a bird to sing.
May
12th 1999.
(By David
Clarke 23rd June 1996 amended June 1999)
God
from the beginning of creation instituted marriage. Adam was made first and Eve
was made from AdamÕs flesh and bone as his helpmeet. After they had fallen into
sin God spoke reprovingly to Adam for harkening to the voice of his wife after
she had sinned in the Garden of Eden.
God also spoke to the woman in condemnation saying,
Gen 2 18.
ÒI
will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring
forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband and he shall rule over
thee Ò.
Gen 3 17
To
Adam he said because you have harkened to the voice of your wife and disobeyed
my voice he cursed the ground saying in sorrow would he eat of it all the days
of his life. Thorns and thistles would grow and in the sweat of his brow would
he eat bread. Until he die.
As
women suffer in childbirth and thorns and thistles grow and men have to work by
the sweat of their brow so this curse remains and has not been removed because
God uses this for his own glory. We may learn from it if we listen and hearken
to his voice.
The Christian view of marriage
has always been clear
Ephesians 5 22
Ò
Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the
husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is head of the church: and he
is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so
let the wives be subject to their own husband in every thing.
Husbands
love you wives even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. Etc. So
ought men to love their wives as their own body. He that loveth his wife loveth
himself.
For
this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his
wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
1 Cor 12 3
Before
God the head of every man is Christ and the head of the woman is the man and
the head of Christ is God.
There
is clarity about the position of men and women before God. In this light we can
view marriage.
The
is no direct indication in the scripture as to how a marriage is entered into
but it is generally agreed the man and woman wishing to marry:
|
1
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Marriage
promises are made in public before witnesses.
|
|
2
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Must do
so willingly
|
|
3
|
There is
a leaving the parental home and a cleaving too each other.
|
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4
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The
intention is for life
|
|
5
|
Partners
cannot leave the marriage
|
|
6
|
A
marriage can only be devolved if;
a)
Adultery takes place and that only by the injured party. Divorce does not
have to take place if adultery happens.
b) The
unbelieving partner wishes to leave (this leaving being an act of the will
and ceasing to behave as a married person) and the believer releases them.
|
7 The
legal part to marriage and divorce is only a technical aspect. It is not the
actuality. Just like a death certificate does not make the person dead or a
birth certificate give life to the baby, neither does a marriage or divorce
certificate make a marriage or give rise to divorce. Christian marriage
involves the marriage partners promising each other certain things. The
following marriage vows are derived from scripture and are long-standing
Christian beliefs.
A The
man promises his bride to love, honour, cherish, care and look after her even
as Christ loves and cares for his church. (Christ is his pattern). Col 3 19, Eph. 5 25, 1 Pet. 3. 7.
B The
woman in return promises to love honour and obey her man (as the church does to
Christ). This is the pattern spoken
of in Eph. 5 22-24. This order and
pattern of promises are only derived from the scripture and has been the order
of things throughout the Church age.
These
promises form a covenant and they
are made before God and in the presence of witnesses. It is not a contract but a covenant and
should not be broken. Even if partners fail to fulfil their promises they are
still bound by promise to fulfil their vows. Even if they ignore their vows
they are still married. Each partner is responsible to go the second mile in
making the relationship work. In the marriage all that the husband has is his
wifeÕs even his body and likewise all the wife has belongs to her husband.
This
form of marriage is how God intends it to be and I would argue to depart from
the scriptural view of marriage is to turn from what God has revealed. I cannot
see how any one in their right mind would turn from Gods way of things.
Open to discussion.
It sounds all right to
me I would value any feedback.
31 Testimony 41 (Extract from Trojan
Warriors) Inmate:
Michael John Clarke
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Name
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Michael John Clarke
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Age
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54 years
|
|
DOB
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27th September 1946
|
|
Previous Occupation
|
Managing Director
|
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Status.
|
Widower
|
|
Dorm
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8-A
|
|
Crime
|
Promoting Child Prostitution
"Alleged"
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Sentence
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14-16 years
|
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Family
Address
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11 Hayling Close, Fareham,
Hampshire, England, PO14 3AE.
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14th August 2001
Dear Reader,
As you may have gathered, I am the older
brother of David Clarke, the team leader of the ÔTrojan
Horse MissionÕ and it is my privilege and honour to use this
opportunity to tell you that the Bible is FACT and not fiction, and Jesus
Christ is ALIVE.
In this testimony I will only highlight
certain parts of my life, as David has already covered some of it in his book
Converted on LSD Trip.
In addition to this, I invite you to access
our web-site www.convertedonLSDTrip.com, which shows quite clearly how God allows
evil, (which in my case was the fabricated criminal case brought against me) in
order to show that he is the Almighty God. Everything that happens is the
bringing to pass of His Divine plan, which was conceived in Eternity.
Prior to my first visit to the Philippines in
February 1995, my concept of Christianity was that I only believed that there
was a God, and that was enough. I considered myself to be ÔnormalÕ and in
control of my own destiny – how wrong I was!
As a tourist I first stayed in Angeles
and Olongopo Cities. I was amazed at the abundance of ÔGirlie BarsÕ and
nightlife. It was crystal clear that sex was on the menu at a very low price.
On my return to England I formed my very own
ÔParadise ExpressÕ travel business, the aim of which was to offer low cost
holidays to my fellow countrymen. I thought I was on to a winner, because there
are no such things as ÔGirlie BarsÕ in England.
To cut the story short, within a few months my
business was up and running and I returned to the Philippines to welcome my
first influx of customers.
On June 5th 1995 I was arrested for promoting
child prostitution, and later sentenced to 14 to 16 years' imprisonment. I
have, and always will, protest my innocence. There were no child victims or
child complainants; my reference to girls was only a general reference to girls
as in ÔSpice GirlsÕ, the pop group. I was not promoting children; I want to
establish that in your mind.
After this, as you can imagine, I was very
bitter and full of hate. Why, why, why have I been wrongly convicted, I would
ask myself. I just could not understand why God would allow such a thing.
Suicide was constantly on my mind.
A foreign Christian Missionary worker who
encouraged me to seek the Lord for the answer to this big question then gave me
a bible.
For the next few years I read the bible, and
attended numerous so-called Christian gatherings, all of which seemed to differ
in their interpretation of the Scriptures, which left me more confused. One day
my friend Suny Wilson was acquitted from Death Row, and on his
release gave me a book ÔMere ChristianityÕ by CS Lewis. After reading it my
eyes were opened to the truth. Everything began to make sense and I was drawn
unknowingly to ÔJesus is the ChristÕ fellowship. Rev. Joseph Kim was the head
pastor. He could see that I was thirsty and over a period of several months
loaned me a vast array of books, which he assured me, would illuminate my mind
further regarding this great mystery of mankindÕs creation.
I soon realized that for the last four years
the Lord had been pulling me to him. He broke my yoke of bondage – I was
saved from the power of Satan and given eternal Life. God revealed to me that
he had to let me taste a little bit of hell in order to save my soul. GodÕs
Grace saved me alone. He gave me faith and the ability to repent from my former
life.
After I was reborn, the Holy Spirit became
very active in my life, and taught me to forgive the people responsible for my
wrongful conviction. The power of Christ led me by force to a makeshift baptism
in a 45-gallon ex-oil drum, in order to proclaim to the world that I was indeed
one of GodÕs chosen people. With me were 24 other believers who were baptized
unto death and new life in Christ.
I have now devoted my life to the Lord and
urge everyone to read, study, and meditate on some Words of scripture: The Book
of John, chapter 3. Humble yourselves and ask God to come into your lives.
If anyone feels the need to write to me,
please do not hesitate, as that would be a sure sign that God is drawing you
near to Him. Please use my address in England for correspondence. I pray to the
Lord that he may bless everyone who reads this book and I ask the Holy Spirit
to guide him or her to the Book of Revelation 12.11
Signed by: Michael J Clarke, Ambassador of
Christ.
Duly witnessed by: Pastor Andy C. Dolin,
Associate pastor, NBP Christian Church.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Message to the World (August 11th 2001)
From
Michael J. Clarke
It is my pleasure and to the GLORY OF GOD to
proclaim that by God's Grace I have been saved from the power of sin and hell.
Through FAITH and BELIEF that JESUS IS THE CHRIST I have now been granted
ETERNAL LIFE.
This same message of Salvation is available to
everyone and who ever truly believe will be saved. The Bible is FACT not
fiction and I implore everyone to read, study and meditate on John 3 and ask
the Lord to have mercy on your soul.
It is my prayer that my plea will also touch
the hearts of all the bar owners and operators in Angeles City who knew
me in 1995 when I was operating my Paradise Express travel business.
Even though they know that I was charged and convicted for a crime that was
totally fabricated, it doesnÕt alter the fact that the life I was then living
was saturated in sin. My master was the devil, of which I was totally ignorant.
It is my duty to tell you that you are all being totally deceived and living in
a false paradise. Take heed of my words of truth and change your lifeÕs
direction, with JESUS at the helm. I am not telling you to abandon your
business! Just change the menu, kick out sin and promote tourism of a different
nature in this beautiful country and your rewards will surpass your wildest
dreams.
I have now completely forgiven my complainant
and pray for his soul. I realize that God allowed him to be used by Satan in
order to bring about my salvation.
At 10 am on August 12th I will be giving my
testimony live on the Internet, God willing, here in Bilibid Prison. My brother
David is the team leader of the ÔTrojan Horse MissionÕ whose aim is
ÔSetting captives freeÕ.
For further information.
Or e-mail David:
nbpttc@yahoo.co.uk
May God Bless you all, signed Michael John
Clarke.
BELIEVE IT OR NOT
By Michael Clarke
A MESSAGE TO ALL MY BROTHERS IN CHRIST
We are at war and as Christians we become
members of ÔGodÕs Army'. We are all involved in this warfare whether we like it
or not, and whether we are aware of it or not. HeavenÕs war is now on EARTH and
itÕs no joke!
The Bible clearly tells us that the ÔoriginÕ
of this war began in the cosmic realm, before the creation of man, in an
ÔAngelicÕ rebellion against the ÔLordship of GodÕ.
How could such a rebellion happen in the
presence of our God Almighty? The Scriptures help us with this (Deut 29-29)
ÔThe secret things belong to the Lord our God, but those things are revealed
which belong to us and to our children forever.Õ
This war will not end until the final judgment
of evil supernaturalism. Until this final judgment, Satan, together with 1/3 of
GodÕs former angels that he managed to persuade to join him, will continue and
become positively worse. - ÔThe number of fallen angels is unknownÕ
Assured of victory
Although the Scriptures clearly show that God
will have the final victory in this war, the battle will continue with SatanÕs
army doing its utmost to try and stop mankind being re-united to its rightful
Father, God Almighty.
Be prepared
Once we accept this reality we need to
condition ourselves, so to speak, and put on our ÔSpiritual GlassesÕ of
Warfare. If we underestimate this warning we will, without a shadow of a doubt,
become casualties of war. The Bible itself is a training manual for all GodÕs
Army. However, to make us more efficient, God has inspired many Christian
writers, who have had first hand experience of life in the mission-field, to
highlight the importance of this training, together with the dangers that await
the unprepared. GodÕs message on this topic is readily available in Christian
bookstores and public libraries. Good instruction on this subject awaits all
that are prepared to join a Bible study class.
Knowing the enemy (2 Cor. 2-11)
ÔLest Satan should take advantage of us, for
we are not ignorant of his devicesÕ
Unfortunately many Christians have a false
sense of security! They tend to focus all their attention on Jesus and ignore
the abundance of scriptural warnings. When this happens the adversary is delighted
and his Ôsoldier demonsÕ will attack (1Pet 5-8) Ô Be of sober spirit, be on the
alert. Your adversary the Devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking
someone to devour.Õ
Warning
Scripture clearly shows that it is possible
for true Christians to be devoured by the Devil because the warning was given
directly to them, but this does not mean that we shall loose our salvation
because that is impossible. We shall suffer calamity for not abiding in
GodÕs armour. To confirm this read 1Tim 3-6 and 2 Tim 2-26. Also Paul warns us
of this reality in 2Cor 11-3.
The War
This is best described as a Ôsin warÕ in three
dimensions:
1.
Sin is personal, it comes from within. It is our fallen
nature, which is always inclined towards evil. The classic description of this
inner warfare of our flesh against the indwelling Holy Spirit is found in Gal.
5 16-21.
2.
Sin is social, it comes from without. This is the problem of
the world with all its temptations. The classic description of social sin is
found in 1 John 2 15-17.
3.
Sin is supernatural; it comes from above, directly from Satan and
his demons, principalities and his powers. Eph. 6.12
The third dimension is the most difficult to
understand and to handle. It is also the most frightening:
DEMONS. What are demons? God has not chosen to
reveal the origin of demons, but it appears that they are not in the same class
as the fallen angels, but are somehow directly associated with SatanÕs
rebellion and are members of his Army. Having said this we can conclude that
demons are individuals with supernatural evil powers.
My main concern is to draw your attention to
the reality of these powers. To underestimate this fact is fatal, just as to
overestimate the problem could also make things difficult for Christians. Satan
can and will take advantage of both these situations. However if we reject
these powers, we must come up with another reason for the Son of God having
come into this world.
Having said that we can be sure of ample
protection, not only from the direct indwelling of the Holy Spirit, but also
the ever present protection of God's own Angels and their powers, which,
according to Scripture is twice that of Satan.
Demons are best described as evil spirits
assigned to individuals on a personal level, whose main purpose is to influence
the individualÕs mind and to control their will. This is what the Scriptures
mean by Ôdemon possessedÕ this does not mean possession, as this implies total
ownership. Satan and his demons donÕt own anything apart from their own evil.
They are usurpers. God owns everything. However God holds all persons
responsible for their own actions, and it must be understood that there are
different levels of demonization, ranging from mild to very extreme.
Can Christians be demonized?
Most believers would hold the negative view
based on the assumption that the Holy Spirit will not or cannot dwell in the
same body as demons. There is not a single verse of Scripture, which states
that true believers cannot under any circumstances be demonized. On the
contrary, Scripture is full of warnings of such a possibility.
The presence of the Holy Spirit does not, of
itself, prevent demonization, just as it does not, in itself, prevent the
Christian from sinning. The Holy Spirit is not afraid of demons, and will enter
the body of a believer even if they are there. All believers prior to
conversion have become demonized to some degree, and, the amount of sin and the
amount of power it had over them will determine the amount of power needed to
completely free them from this bondage of sin. In a lot of cases it is a matter
of the person still dwelling on their past, which is used by the demons to
torment them.
Church history
A study of the writings of the early church fathers
reveals that they understood that the Christians could be demonized. Because of
this they created a ÔLay order's exorcists who took new believers through
deliverance after their conversion to Christ and before their public Baptism.
Worldwide contemporary experience is now
unanimous in the view that some true Christians under unusual conditions of sin
can be demonized. It is also possible for a believer to have picked up a demon
or demons after conversion, through their own sin and/or the serious sin of
others committed against them. It could also be caused by heredity, parental
rejection, and contact with demonized persons, curses and even rock music.
These are just some of the ways that the demons gain entry either before or
after conversion to the body or the mind and hide deeply within the personÕs
structure. It is through lack of discernment and ignorance that Christians
render themselves so vulnerable to demon attack. Example: Let us assume that
our body is a house, and in that house there is a basement, which we shall call
our inner structure. In this basement there is ÔgarbageÕ which in our case is
our emotional and/or spiritual ÔgarbageÕ. Demons are like rats – they
feed on ÔgarbageÕ in some cases this garbage has been there for years and will
take a lot of time and effort to remove. If it is not removed the demons will
continue to feed. Likewise if the rats are removed and the garbage remains,
they will surely return, with others, and continue to feed.
The
Answer: In most cases a person can handle this
problem themselves. The new life of every born again believer is in constant
battle with the old self, and in this battle the Holy Spirit which is inside
them is constantly bringing to the surface all this deep- rooted garbage, which
is brought before the Lord by way of repentance. This is Ôsin garbageÕ
True
Repentance: If you only repent Ô about' or ÔoverÕ this
Ôsin garbageÕ it will remain like food for the demons to feed on! You must repent
from your sins, which will leave them dead. This is very important; otherwise
it will have no effect. Your repentance must be a sincere pledge Éyou
must clean the basement.
Final
words: Please heed my warning! This war is Real.
If you feel that you want to know more about this warfare I highly recommend
the following books:
Christian Warfare by Dr Martin Lloyd Jones, Defeating
Dark Angels by Charles H. Kraft, The DevilÕs Disciples by Jeff Godwin (a must
for parents).
Audio recording, David's testimony made at
Luton, 22nd May 1972. www.youtube.com (davidolores)
Video: Testimony of David Clarke. 1983. The Bierton Meeting. www.youtube.com
My Secession: Bierton S. & P. Baptist
Church. 1884.
This is the first Book written by David. It
speaks of his secession from Bierton Strict and Particular Baptist Church in
1984.
David secession from W J is L 1999
60Õs still rock song. Special guest sax player:
Holly Snooke.
First song (love song) by Dave Clarke from the
60's and his band The Resurrection.
December 1999
A picture book story, written for Rebekah and
her mum
9 ÒTrojan WarriorsÓ, ISBN
0-9539473-1-9
10 ÒBefore the Cock CrowsÓ, ISBN 0.9539473-3-5. This is about our second mission to the
Philippines. It outlines the objectives, successes and opposition we had from
both within and without the Prison.
|
Publications available from
|
Abshott Publications
11 Hayling Close
Fareham
Hampshire
England
PO14 3AE
|
|
|
|
E-mail:
nbpttc@yahoo.co.uk and
http://www.convertedonlsdtrip.com
